Writing the Middle

There are a variety of ways to think about the middle of a story.  They are not a prescription; no-one should feel obligated to use these techniques.  At most they should be understood as suggestions based on some common ways that writers have approached the story’s middle and the problem of maintaining audience interest until the conclusion.

At the most macro level, the middle is the second act of a three act play.  At the most micro level it is a series of MRUs (motivation-reaction units).  One way of thinking about the middle of a story that I have found helpful has been to think in terms of sequences.  At its simplest a sequence is a series of scenes (or sometimes a single scene) that accomplish a story or plot purpose.  It is a very flexible label that can be used to describe everything that happens between a setup and a payoff, the beginning and end of a single try-fail cycle, the introduction and conclusion of a character arc, etc.  Sequences always end in a significant change.  Sometimes this involves an internal character change (such as passive to active) or an external change to circumstances (wealth to riches, home owner to aftermath-of-an-earthquake survivor, or similar).

Setup and payoff

Setup is a special form of foreshadowing (foreshadowing, more broadly, being discussed elsewhere).  It aims to show or reveal the building blocks necessary to give the reader a revelation of deeper meaning later in the story.

To set up is to prepare the ground, to place the props, to provoke the questions that will receive their answers and demonstrate their purpose later on.

We set up our plot points, hinting at and revealing obstacles and objects early, etc. to give our stories credibility, so that the reader doesn’t feel like our plot points are contrived when introduced later.  Events should never feel like coincidences; they should always have precursors and causes that were put in place earlier in the narrative.  Our setups exist to create curiosity and anticipation in the reader and justify the story choices we have made.

To demonstrate a change in a character or establish the credibility of an important plot-untangling skill that a character will use, we have to setup their ability to use the skill or demonstrate the pre-existing character that must be altered/changed.

Problems can be setup ahead of time to increase the tension and suspense that the audience experience.  If we already know that the road on which our protagonist is recklessly driving to escape the antagonist has been washed out, our concern and investment in the outcome is heightened.

Jokes, likewise, have a setup and payoff.  The setup, repetition/exposition, and punchline/twist, topper, and second topper (see my article on humour).

Thematic elements and symbols can be planted early and often to emphasise the unity of a story (reminding us of the underlying theme or message).

We perform a setup by planting characters, unexplained absences and presences, symbols, objects, snatches of dialog, reactions, mood, locations, warnings and clues.

It is important that these planted items have a discrete meaning of their own within the story.  When the audience encounters a setup, it should not seem arbitrary, but signify something appropriate to that moment in the story.  It should also be memorable enough to be easily recalled when the payoff occurs.  When the payoff comes, it should provide a new way to see the original event.  For example, the shyness of Rebecca when introduced is, re-interpreted, in the light of the payoff, as an attempt to avoid being recognized by someone who could reveal she is an imposter.

Sometimes a setup raises a question that, when payed off, reveals its meaning in hindsight.  Questions raised in the mind of the audience need to always be paid off with an answer, preferably and surprising one.

One of the tricks to maintaining interest is to plant setups steadily throughout the story.  All setups must be paid off, but the time of the payoff varies.  Delay too long and the audience will tire of waiting or be overwhelmed by the number of threads waiting to be resolved.  Payoff too early and the setup will lack value and be easily dismissed by the audience.  Keep the payoffs coming at regular intervals and interest will be maintained.

Payoffs resolve the setup.  There are a variety of ways that a setup can be paid off.  Firstly, the action of a character can resolve a setup; they discover or uncover something through research and action that pays off the setup.  The character gains an insight that resolves a setup; they think something through and arrive at a realization that pays off the setup.  The character receives a revelation that pays off the setup; here a character is provided with information from an external party that produces the payoff.  Jokes have a payoff in the form of a punchline – a final line that surprises the reader and makes them laugh.  And, of course, the humble twist (discussed in a separate article) provides another form of payoff in the face of a setup – one that depends on misdirection in order to surprise the reader.

The Try-Fail cycle

The middle of a story is made up of a series of obstacles and disasters encountered by the protagonist.  Typically this is expressed in a series of try-fail cycles of varying importance that move the story forward.  The character has a problem or goal, attempts (tries) to solve or achieve it, and encounters a difficulty/failure that gets them to rethink their strategy and begin the process anew.  Generally, a story wants at least three try-fail attempts in the middle that lead up to the reversal before the story climax.  Each must have increasingly important and significant stakes and each will contain a series of increasingly difficult obstacles within it.  The first try-fail cycle occurs in the lead up to the story’s point of no return (the point at which the character is forced to commit fully to the pursuit of their goal).  The next occurs in the lead up to a redirection of some sort (where the character discovers the goal they have been pursuing is in some way mistaken and requires modification).  The third occurs in the lead up to the reversal at the end of the second act (that results in everything going wrong for the character and forces them into a crisis). 

There is an initial and final try-fail cycle that belong specifically to the beginning and end of the story.  The first results in the failure of the character to overcome a significant character flaw that establishes the character’s change arc within the story.  The final occurs at the story climax and differs in that the character tries, almost fails, and finally overcomes the major obstacle of the story (contributing to a satisfying ending).

Objectives, obstacles, tactics

Behaviors are always a matter of wants/goals, obstacles and tactics.  The protagonist wants a particular thing, but something stands in the way, and he/she is prepared to pursue that thing by employing a variety of tactics.  The wants and the tactics speak to the protagonist’s character.  Based on their emotions and temperament they will employ some methods to achieve their ends and not others.  As their trusted and tried strategies fail they are forced to employ new tactics, tactics that force them to embrace change, engage in struggle, and discover just how much their objectives mean to them.

The middle of the story is where character is demonstrated by forcing the protagonist through the series of try-fail cycles discussed above.  Each failure requires the character to abandon their typical approach to problem solving (the path of least resistance) in favor of new strategies and methods that create the opportunity for growth.  To properly test the character, the obstacles they encounter must withstand easy solutions and grow in difficulty and stakes.

Major and minor cycles

Each act in a typical three act play contains its own major try fail cycle.  But each act can be broken down to contain a series of sequences that replicate the try-fail cycle format.  And every scene is a try-fail cycle in its own right (only of minor significance).

Audience fatigue and alternating the beats

Where a protagonist encounters continuous success or failure, one event after another, the effect on the audience will be one of boredom and fatigue.  The recommended antidote for this is to alternate successes and failures.  The emotional charge at the end of each attempt to overcome a conflict or obstacle should be upbeat (optimistic) or downbeat (pessimistic) depending on what has come before it.  Failure to successfully negotiate an obstacle does not necessarily imply a down beat.  The failure could result in a breakthrough, insight, or discovery of a clue, etc. that ends the scene with a positive emotional charge.  Likewise a success can result in a discovery of tragedy or loss that switches the emotional charge in a negative direction.

Pinch points and Plot points

In the construction of novels and plays, editors often refer to pinch-points and plot points.  Pinch points occur where the protagonists are spurred to action by outside antagonistic forces.  Effectively a pinch point forces a character to react to an event or situation that is external and results in a significant turn in the plot.  A turn is a significant change in direction (a major change in the character’s goals, understanding of the problem, or tactics for achieving those goals).

Plot points occur where the protagonists initiate action as a result of internal desires that result in a similar turn.

Generally, a plot point occurs at the 25% and 75% point in the story.  A pinch point typically occurs halfway between the first plot point and the midpoint of the story, and halfway between the midpoint and the second plot point.

In each case the antagonistic forces on display need to be demonstrated as being both stronger and more intimidating than what came before and should result in an emotionally significant change of direction for the story (in terms of goal, strategy, or impact).

Passive to active characterization

In general, the characters in a story spend the first half of the middle of the narrative responding to the events around them.  In the second half they establish agency and begin initiating action that puts the antagonist on the back foot and forces the obstacles placed in their way to be increased in scope and number.  The midpoint, or point of no return, where the character signals their commitment to solving the problem that they face (either because all other options have been exhausted or because they have finally made an irrevocable decision) indicates the transformation from passive responder to active initiator within the character of the protagonist. 

Increasing the stakes by broadening and deepening

It is a commonplace of writing that the middle of the story should be used to build the action to a meaningful climax.  Two common ways to increase the investment of the characters and audience is to raise the stakes by placing increasingly challenging obstacles in the protagonist’s path.  By broadening the potential impact of the obstacle (increasing the number of people, etc. that it might effect) we increase the challenge presented to the character.  A terrorist organization intends to stage a kidnapping… that they wish to cover with a bombing that will kill hundreds of innocent people… that could kick off a global war.  By deepening the impact of the obstacle (increasing the effect on the protagonist) we increase the challenge presented to the character.  A character attends the doctor because they are finding their work difficult as a result of fatigue… and discover they have a potentially lethal cancer… that will result in severe mental decline and a loss of self.

In each case, by broadening the impact of events on the world, or by deepening the impact of events on the protagonist, the stakes are raised and interest is increased.

We don’t need to restrict ourselves to one or the other approach.  The writer can increase the stakes by deepening and broadening the impact of events at the same time in the same story.

Introducing a B-plot

Another useful technique to aid us in writing the middle of the story is to introduce and resolve a B-plot.  A B-plot is a separate secondary story or sub-plot that intersects with the first.  At it’s most cliched, it is the introduction of a love interest and romance to the plot.  But lots of other options are possible.  Regardless of what goal the B-plot establishes, the key to a successful B-plot is the introduction of a new set of interesting obstacles and problems to provide variety to the story’s overall trajectory.

Changing objectives in the second act

All of the suggestions regarding writing the middle of a story so far have been concerned primarily with maintaining the interest of the audience.  This is for the very good reason that the middle of the story is the part in which the story in greatest danger of dragging and becoming boring.  We can usually construct an interesting beginning, and the ending can be planned to include a great climax, but the middle, being a succession of problems and resolutions, can easily become dull.

One technique for addressing this is to introduce a redirection to the plot.  The protagonist is pursuing a specific goal that they think is essential to the success of their quest, but an event occurs that demonstrates they have been mistaken – the antagonist turns out to be an ally while an ally turns out to be the real villain, the goal sought turns out to be something that must be sacrificed.  The redirection, as its name implies, causes the protagonist to modify or change their goal and begin pursuing something new.  This can inject some much needed interest to an otherwise lagging story arc.

Setting up the climax (establishing the stakes)

The end of the middle is established by a major reversal, an event, or cluster of events, so devastating that it appears to the protagonists that all hope of success in achieving their goal has been lost.  Throughout the middle of the story the obstacles have been mounting, growing more and more insurmountable, until at last, the entire enterprise seems doomed, and worse still, the likely outcome will be orders of magnitude worse than if the protagonist had left well-enough alone in the first place.

If we can arrive at such a point while weaving sufficient interest into the story through variations in plot, character arc, dramatic beats, depth and breadth of impact, etc., then we will have constructed a middle that will keep the audience glued to the story until we are ready to bring home our conclusion.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Thoughts on Writing the Middle appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Over the years, I’ve found a couple of writing micro-structures very helpful in building immersion in my worlds and a sense of authenticity in my characters.  They are the MRU and the KAV cycle.  There’s nothing particularly clever about them, they just provide me with a conceptual label for something that many writers do without having to stop and think about it.

Creating authenticity through the Motivation-Reaction unit

The MRU is an acronym that stands for Motivation-Reaction Unit.  It is a means of describing the way a human being reacts to a stimulus (motivation).  The MRU consists of four parts;

1. The Motivation
   An event or stimulus to which a character will react.  This stimulus can be external or internal to the character (an event or a feeling).  Events include the appearance of a tiger, a car crash, a foetid smell, a loud noise; anything that attracts the attention of a character and elicits a reaction.  External motivations are appeals to the senses; sight, sound, hearing, taste, smell.  Internal motivations are emotions (eg. A feeling of being watched, sadness, joy, etc.)
2. The Reaction
   The reaction is made up of three optional parts.  It does not require the presence of all three elements, but if more than one is being employed, they must appear in the right order.
   1. Physical Instinctive reaction
      We react to a stimulus at the unconscious/automatic/physical level first.  Such reactions include freezing, feeling our heart race and breathing become more rapid, breaking out in a sweat, etc.
   2. Emotional reaction
      Next we react with identifiable emotions (even when we react to emotions) eg. fear, anger, horror, disgust, delight, etc.
   3. Volitional reaction
      Finally our conscious mind kicks in and we choose to act (raise the rifle to sight at the tiger, turn and run, climb a tree, etc.

While it isn’t necessary to include every element of the reaction, the order is important.  We react physically first, then emotionally, then volitionally (as our conscious brain catches up with our subconscious).  When a writer puts these elements in the wrong order we always notice (even if we aren’t quite sure why the description feels wrong).

Immersion and Voluntary Suspension of Disbelief via the KAV cycle.

Some stories transport us to a new place and immerse us in this world so that we do not wish to leave it while the story is being told.

To be entranced, a reader must be willing.  When an audience member chooses to listen to your story, they are willing already.

To deliver immersion we MUST make sensory appeals to our audience.  In audio drama, we are limited by the medium to conjuring sensory experience through sound, dialog, and music – the other senses are not directly available to us.  That said, we can activate the senses indirectly through the means we do have available.

In the real world our attention is given primarily to visual elements 60% of the time.  We attend to what we hear about 20% of the time, what we feel (physically and emotionally) about 17% of the time and what we smell about 3% of the time.

Interestingly, this doesn’t reflect how our attention is captured.

The order of sensory appeals is sometimes referred to as the golden circle and at others as the KAV cycle.  Our attention is captured first by emotion and movement (kinesthetic appeal, K), next by sound (auditory appeal, A) and, lastly, visually (through visual appeal, V).

In many ways this is more detailed modification of the MRU and provides the detail on the motivation side of the equation. Generally, we are doing/experiencing something and a sound catches our attention and directs our sight.

In audio drama this requires careful handling.  Narration provides an easy way to hit each of these notes but, used to excess, turns an audio play into an audio book.  It is far better to add these immersive appeals through dialog, sound, and music.

Music is a strong means of establishing emotion.  If you are lucky enough to have a composer as part of your production team, they can be crucial to creating the emotional tone of the play and reflecting the emotions of your characters.  It is also possible to construct a musical soundtrack from public domain or purchased sources.  It is difficult to decide, however, which approach is the more difficult and fraught. 

If you don’t have the budget for it, however, you may have to rely on dialog to communicate emotions and descriptions to achieve the immersion you’re looking for.

1. DAVID: Easy Jim, one slip and we’ll be blown to pieces.
2. JIM: You think I don’t know that?  My hands are so sweaty (K) I can hardly hold the wire cutters.

Visual description can also be achieved through dialog, but we must be careful not to have our characters discussing what is obvious to all.  The audience won’t notice “Look out!  He’s got a gun!”, but “Look out!  He’s pointing that Colt pistol he’s holding in his left hand two inches to the right and one inch above your heart” will come across as inauthentic and will, likely, destroy the sense of immersion you are trying to create.  It is always helpful to give your characters a reason to describe things to one another (such as only one character having binoculars with which to see something in the distance).

1. DAVID: Can you make out what it is?
2. JIM: I’m bringing it into focus.  Hang-on.  Well, I’ll be! 
3. DAVID: What?
4. JIM: It’s no rhino.  That’s a dinosaur, a triceratops I think.  The wrinkled, leathery skin (V), had me fooled ’til it turned around.
5. DAVID: Here, give me those binoculars.  I want to see.

Sound is a surprisingly challenging element to include.  Given that our chosen medium is audio drama, you’d think that sound effects would be the main way we communicate what is available to the senses of our characters and while, to an extent, this is true, it is more complicated than it seems.

Some sounds are self-identifying (such as an airplane, or train, or car engine) but most are not.  Most sounds require context (visual or verbal) to give them meaning.  The sound of a fire can read as rain or crumpled cellophane (and vice-versa) depending on the context in which it is delivered.

This means that sounds must be explained to the audience via the context if they are to be “read” clearly.

1. SOUND: DISTANT RUMBLE (S) – LET IT FINISH
2. DAVID: Was that thunder?
3. JIM: No.  That was cannon fire.  Fifty calibre, unless I miss my guess.  I reckon they’ll be here by nightfall at the latest.

Generally, it is best to establish the explanatory context of a sound before introducing it to your audience.

1. DAVID: Where’s that storm front, Jim?
2. JIM: It’s almost on top of us.  The first drops of rain are coming now.
3. SOUND: RAIN COMES DOWN (S) – UNDER

Motivating action tends to follow the same repeating pattern.  We are engaged in an experience (emotional and physical).  We are looking forwards.  Sound causes us to turn our heads, up, down, behind us, in order to change our visual focus.  We look at what has attracted our attention.

A word of caution should be expressed here when we use stereo or surround sound.  We hear with both ears, so placing a sound exclusively in the left or right channel will not create a realistic experience (and will be inaccessible to people who, like myself, are deaf in one ear).  Emphasise one channel over another by including the sound in both channels but reducing its audibility in one.

By appeals to Kinesthetics, then Audio, then Visibility, we immersively establish the motivaters to which our characters will react.

All elements are needed and the cycle is repeated over and over.

The brain empathises with the description of action and emotion through music and dialog, activating in sympathy.  The brain empathises with the presence of sound and music in a script, activating in sympathy.  The brain empathises with the description of visual input via dialog and narration (so long as it is not overdone), activating in sympathy.  The more this activation happens the greater the voluntary immersion occurs.

Problems implementing the KAV cycle

Some appeals are weak – too vague. Eg. A crowd is too vague.  What kind of people are we seeing in this crowd (in terms of time and place).  Groups lack details in general.  General descriptors are too weak.  A creature is too vague.  More detail is needed where possible.

The more description that is supplied, the more an audience can see with their mind’s eye, but a wall of text is counter-productive.  Precision is important (without being overlong).  A few judiciously chosen KAV details will bring the scene to life without burying it in exposition.  Don’t include details without a purpose.

Emotion should be conveyed through the scene and the action within it.  Reveal details of the scene through physical details (dry mouth, heart racing, etc. wherever possible and appropriate).

Not all appeals need to be strong, but the most important ones should be.  Ensure you use well chosen modifiers, adverbs, and adjectives (as well as evocative and illustrative metaphors and similes) in your dialog.

Rate your appeals.  Can they be made stronger than appears in your draft.  As you revise, strengthen them, but avoid the equal and opposite sin of becoming exposition heavy.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Writing-Microstructures for Audio Drama appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Theme defines Meaning

Theme is the deeper meaning of the story, usually a topic with universal appeal.  You don’t need to preach or prove a point in stories, but they can be made more impactful and affecting by including and exploring a theme.  One of the easiest ways to think about theme, is to view it as an idea that recurs throughout the story – one which the storyteller keeps reminding the audience about because, at heart, it is what the story is fundamentally about.

Ideally, in treating a theme, writers aim to discuss issues without necessarily drawing conclusions.

Every Shakespeare play has an argument that is progressed by multiple characters of multiple viewpoints.  In this way he explores themes in all his plays.  The best stories will always be more than a story about events and characters – they will have a message (but they won’t preach). 

Tell the story with the audience in mind – recognise that stories are about the audience (experiences that are common to the audience as well as the character).

It is a writer’s job to transport the audience – with physical detail (setting), with powerful emotional content (internal character growth), with questions about life (theme).  Do all three and the audience will be immersed.

Identify the theme

Themes don’t need to be complicated (in fact simpler themes are often better because you want the audience to keep the theme in the back of their minds as the story unfolds).  What questions about life do the characters in the story have?  What questions do the events of the story raise about life?  What questions do the characters’ flaws, wounds, and needs point to?  The more personal to the lives of the characters that the theme is, the easier it is to explore it in any given work.

Brainstorm the theme

Think – what have people said about the topic?  What arguments have been made?

How can the characters represent these different views?

Look up quotes from philosophers and thinkers on the topic.

There are multiple sides to all arguments (many more than two).  Be sure to conduct research to identify as many sides as possible.

Express the theme

Your aim is to get the audience thinking (be provocative).

Reveal what the characters believe about the topic (at the beginning of your story).  Reveal how their thoughts change as the story progresses.  Demonstrate the conclusions they arrive at by its end.

Look at the plot – where does the character become aware of the issue?  What information does the character receive that causes them to think more deeply (where, when, and how)?

What happens to give the character a breakthrough or insight?

Characters should be designed to express different approaches (or arguments) regarding the themes.  In Macbeth, Lady Macbeth presents a ruthless view of masculinity that sees kindness as weakness.  MacDuff presents a view of masculinity that sees nothing weak about kindness, loyalty, etc.  Each argues for a different definition of and approach to masculinity.

Season your story by scattering references to your theme throughout its telling.  Brainstorm words that relate to your theme and use them to link your thoughts and the way you express your story’s events and characters back to the theme.

Here are a series of words (many of them paired-opposites) that relate to the passage of time; clocks, watches, ancient, modern, fast, slow, to build, to neglect, grow, decay, birth, death, young, old, loss, grief, hope, expectation, progress.

Let’s imagine a pair of characters with different viewpoints regarding the passage of time.  And have them conversing on a bus ride into town.

1. MELISSA: So much has changed.  The old neighbourhood looks ancient and life has become so busy.  No-one has any time left to care for the history that remains.
2. JANE: Oh, I don’t know.  I still remember when we’d have to walk twenty minutes to find a bus into town.  Now, it comes almost past our door.  Progress has been good to us.
3. MELISSA: But look at all we’ve lost.  The café’s torn down and the boutiques put up in their place, selling stuff no-one needs.  People used to meet on these streets and talk of an evening!  You wouldn’t want to be out after dark these days.
4. JANE: It’s not so bad.  The neighbours still look out for each other.  The world has changed but a lot has stayed the same.  (BEAT) Look, here comes our stop.
5. SOUND: BUS COMES TO A HALT – LET IT FINISH.
6. DRIVER: You getting off here ladies?  Just letting you know; the company’s changing the bus route and this stop will be gone in a couple o’ weeks.
7. MELISSA: Figures.  Ooh.  These old-bones aren’t what they used to be.
8. DRIVER: Come on, ladies.  Time’s passing and I got a schedule to keep.

Multiple themes

Stories are not limited in the number of themes they can explore.  Some authors include themes for each character, others explore themes in clusters, and others-still explore multiple unrelated themes.  In Macbeth, Shakespeare explored duty, freedom and determinism, and masculinity among others.

Helpful exercises

Write three scenes where the character is thinking about the theme or discussing the theme with someone else.

How does the theme come up?  Why is it bothering the character? 

Write a scene that introduces new information and changes the character’s viewpoint.

Write a scene that causes the character to draw a new conclusion about the issue and a radical change.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Weaving Your Themes appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

At one level, nothing changes when telling stories for younger audiences.  A show that is designed for kids has all the same requirements, with regard to good storytelling, as shows for other audiences.  The story must have conflict, compelling characters, a strong structure with plenty of interesting incident, a great setting, and a well-explored theme.  That said, for younger audiences our show-design needs to take account of some unique requirements.

The Multiple-Audience

In writing for a younger audience, you must recognize that there are gatekeepers around what young audiences are exposed to.  Not only should you be writing for the younger audience itself, but also for the gatekeepers who must be won over in order to get your content into the hands of younger audiences.

In practice you must, while delivering what a younger audience is looking for, write a show that appeals simultaneously to parents, teachers, librarians, and reviewers.  These individuals are the filter that your content must pass through before your target audience can be reached (something well understood and mastered by companies such as Pixar and others primarily focused on the “family” market).  This is, of course, less of an issue with a young-adult audience.

Appealing to the gatekeepers

None of the following rules are set in stone.  You can make any choice you desire when creating your work, but you need to be aware that some choices will limit the full extent of the audience you can reach.

Stories for younger audiences should be as free from profanity as possible.  Parents are quickly turned off by the presence of profanity in content their children are likely to consume.  Likewise, schools, libraries, and critics will quickly focus on the presence of profanity when it comes to making a recommendation about a show.  No-one ever lost their audience by leaving profanity out of a work that aims at a younger audience, but the presence of profanity is a clear limiting factor with the regard to the size of the audience a show can potentially capture.

Likewise, sex and sexuality is best avoided in material aimed at a younger audience (and for the same reasons).

Lastly, though less significantly, death tends to be a “no-no”.  It is possible to create material that deals with death in a way that is sensitive to both children and their gate-keepers (Bambi, Old Yeller, and others) but the presence of death in a story encourages immediate caution in parents and gatekeepers.

As a younger audience gets older, it becomes easier to explore some of these more taboo issues in our stories, but they MUST be dealt with sensitively and responsibly (and will always narrow the audience that can be reached).

To satisfy a young audience, we must satisfy the older gatekeepers who decide what a young audience has access to.  For this reason, there needs to be elements in our shows that appeal to older demographics.  This includes older characters that the gate-keepers can identify with, and a certain amount of romance, mystery, and adventure.  If these elements are not present, then the story is unlikely to pass from your first audience’s hands into the hands of your target audience. 

Consider, the first Harry Potter novel.  The Hogwarts teachers were, as characters, deliberately designed to appeal to the gatekeeper demographic.  The elements of mystery and adventure supplied were sufficient to appeal to the adult audience as well.  J. K. Rowling instinctively understood that she had to appeal to the adults around the younger audience (of eight to twelve year olds that were her target audience) before her stories would find their intended audience.

Incidentally, Rowling was a genius at writing for an audience that aged in tandem with her characters, introducing death and romance, etc. to her stories in a way that was appropriate to the increasing age of her characters and audience.

Appealing to kids

Children aren’t attracted by drama (of the interpersonal variety).  Conflict is still essential, but soap-opera is frankly boring.  They are primarily attracted by wonder, especially wonder that leaks into the everyday.  Generally speaking, the dialog delivered by characters in a show aimed at 8 to 12 year-olds should involve simpler sentences and word choices.  Characters should generally be less complex and more readily identifiable (in terms of archetypes).  This doesn’t mean that stereotypes cannot be subverted, or that complex themes cannot be explored.  It does mean that clarity and simplicity in the presenting of the story is paramount.

Children also like a degree of horror (when leavened with humor) as part of their attraction to wonder.  The story can be spooky and atmospheric, but must not cross the line into the genuinely frightening or gory.

Humor is essential, younger audiences love to laugh.  A child’s sense of humor is fairly unsophisticated.  They love slapstick, verbal humor, and humor that arises from a surprise or twist.  Adults tend to dislike kids jokes and need more sophistication.  The brilliance of a company like Pixar arises in its capacity to build layered jokes; jokes that appeal at the simplest level to children, but contain layers of meaning that will appeal to the adults who encounter them.  This is not an easy balance to achieve, but the mass appeal of a children’s program often depends on this very factor.

Adventure (particularly exploring) is always a safe bet with younger audiences.  Romance is “icky” but if hinted at (but never consummated) between adult characters will act as a draw to the gatekeeper audience.

Structural Requirements

It is generally true, that younger audiences have decidedly shorter attention spans than their older counterparts and bore easily.  Shows should probably aim at being from 15 to 30 minutes in length.  Long form story-telling will work with a younger audience, if introduced as a B-plot, and can be especially effective with an episode by episode cliffhanger.  The A-plot, however, should be self-contained and resolve each episode in order for younger audiences to feel satisfied.  A children’s show should always aim to surprise the audience with a “wow” moment.  Originanlity is key.

Children are far more resilient and sophisticated than many adults give them credit for.  They are capable of comprehending and processing deep themes about life and friendship and the nature of the world.  But adults tend to underrate children and will often, unnecessarily, try to protect them from content that they feel requires too much of them.  This is largely overcome by writing for a dual audience of adults and children.  The adults will tend to think that the more sophisticated material is aimed at them (and to a degree it is) but it will remain accessible to the youngsters who are the primary audience of the writing.

Poetry and metaphor are key elements in writing for younger audiences.  I am not, when I refer to poetry, referring to rhyme.  What I mean is that children are particularly open to the use of language to evoke emotion, paint pictures in the imagination, and create atmosphere.  They also love the way metaphors can be enjoyed for their surface and deeper meaning.  Employ both to the best effect that you can.

Conclusion

When it comes to writing for younger audiences, all of the principles of good writing still apply. We should never talk down to or be afraid to challenge younger audiences. In deference to the more limited vocabulary and life-experience of younger audiences we should aim to be especially simple and clear in our communication. And we should also be mindful of the fact that younger audiences are primarily attracted to wonder, humor, and adventure (rather than romance or drama).

Of greatest importance is the realization that before we can reach our target audience, our show must appeal to the older gatekeepers who control access to that audience (parents, teachers, librarians, and critics). Unless we can appeal to these individuals as well (with characters and themes and humor that satisfies their tastes) we might never reach the intended audience of our works.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Writing for Younger Audiences appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Understanding Conflict

Conflicts grow out of character and setting.  The classical formulation of conflict is as follows…

• Person vs. Person (protagonist vs. antagonist)
• Person vs. Self (protagonist vs. addictions, weaknesses, and flaws)
• Person vs. God
• Person vs. Society
• Person vs. Nature (plague, storm, drought, etc.)

Conflict is the engine that drives stories.  A conflict is gripping.  When conflict ends, the story ends.

The primary conflict must be big enough to carry the weight of a story for the length of the play (or series).

With regard to stories the inward journey of the character is as important as the outward journey.

Every story should try to have at least two conflicts (external conflict(s), AND internal conflict(s)) and a possible third (romantic conflict).

Conflict with Society

We have complex relationships to and within our society.  Society attempts to place limits on the achievement of our goals in many ways; requiring qualifications for jobs, passing laws that restrict our behaviors, and placing informal expectations on us that we often wish were not there.  Conflict with society is very powerful.  The family that wants an individual to fulfil a very specific niche, sharing all the values and prejudices of the dynasty can be a great source of conflict.  Likewise, a group of thieves and outcasts trying to make their way in the shadowy world of illegal commerce is solidly at war with society.

Conflict with Nature

Nature can become a complicating factor even in a primarily person vs. person story.  A character must prove their value to their hostile boss by getting a package across town?  A storm blows in, shutting down lots of major roads and adding to the jeopardy.

Interior Conflict – Conflict with Self

Characters should always be, at least a little bit, at war with themselves.  Audiences love to see a character battle their inner demons while dealing with the major conflict of a story.

Conflict between Characters

The protagonists comes into conflict with the antagonist in the midst of dealing with other issues.  This antagonism is increased as each engages in a cycle of action and reaction where, via the clash of their goals, they are pitted against one another.

All characters must experience conflict (even if it is only minor).

External conflict arises where a character’s goal is being thwarted in some way.  Sometimes characters come into conflict because they want to achieve the same goal but only one can succeed (fighting over the last biscuit on the plate).  Other times the goals are different but mutually exclusive (siblings fighting over whether to sell or run the family business they’ve inherited).

Stakes

The higher the stakes in a conflict, the more invested the audience becomes.  Stakes are what the character risks losing or winning in a conflict.  A conflict that results in satisfaction or disappointment (winning a trophy, for example) is less involving than one where the trophy has a significant impact on the protagonist’s life (where, for example, the trophy must be won to secure a financially lucrative sports contract that will prevent the family from being evicted) and less involving still where winning is a matter of life or death (where the family is being held at gunpoint by a crazed fan who will only let them live if the protagonist wins the trophy).  Where possible, raise the stakes by making the relationships between the characters close (family, or friends).

It can also be helpful to make the characters conflicted in regard to each other.  The audience finds it hard to guess what will happen (uncertainty is increased) if the characters can sympathise with each other (in conflict) to a degree.

Romantic Conflict

Romantic conflict involves the gradual alignment of opposed goals in relationship (again through action and reaction). Characters are attracted and repulsed by each other. Internally, they harbor hidden prejudices and misunderstandings, while externally their relationship is opposed by various forces (family, friends, culture, society, even nature if a flood, for example, separates the couple).

Internal/Identity Conflict

People have complex conflicts over identity.  Some people see you as a jerk.  Some people see you as a good friend.  You, yourself, might be changing and be a little of each.  Ultimately you rebel or conform to the expectations of those around you.  Conflict occurs where identity is unformed and potentially opposed and the character must choose who they will be (revealed in how they will choose to act).

Internal conflicts are revealed in action.  When a character is being forced to choose between his job and the anniversary dinner he intended to spend with his wife, we see him agreeing to do overtime, confirming his reservation at the restaurant, updating his boss on the progress being made, calling his wife to reassure her that he won’t be late, etc.  His action back and forth between the two mutually irreconcilable goals reveals his internal conflict.

Variation

Vary the conflict so that characters form strange or unlikely alliances because their goals align while remaining rivals where their goals ultimately diverge.

Vary the conflict so that it is a matter of differing opinions regarding means rather than ends.

Avoid repeating the same type of conflict over and over (boring).  Alternate types of conflict and intensities.

Sources of conflict

Diametrically opposed options tend to be presented as a choice between two alternatives.  However, such choices are rare in the real world.  Look for a third option.  Alone vs. in a relationship.  What about trapped in a loveless marriage?  Alive or dead? What about permanently disabled?  Free or incarcerated?  What about parole/community service/a good behaviour bond?

A primary point of conflict is competing goals – internally wanting two mutually incompatible things at the same time, externally wanting competing goals or wanting to control a limited resource.

Researching conflict

Historical research of conflict is essential, but we should also research the psychology of conflict (prejudice, resource control, personal antipathy etc.).  For historical writing this is (relatively) easy but for fantasy fiction, we need to find historical analogues to study.

Mapping the major conflict

It’s often helpful to construct a map of the conflicts between characters.

To map the primary conflict between our protagonist and antagonist determine the action and reactions that follow from discovery of the protagonist’s problem…

• Inciting incident – how the protagonist recognizes the problem
• Try fail 1 – protagonist’s first attempt to solve the problem
• Antagonist’s response
• Try fail 2 – protagonist’s next attempt to solve the problem
• Antagonist’s response
• Climax – protagonist’s third attempt, reversal, and final success
• Denouement – snapshot of life with the problem resolved

Try to develop similar maps for all the major relationships in the story. (protagonist with antagonist, contagonist, minions, temptation, sidekicks, love interest; antagonist with contagonist, minions, temptation, sidekicks, love interest).  Conflicts with self, nature and society may also apply for major characters.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Conflict appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Publishers have a lot of information about what their readership is looking for.  This information is used by publishing companies, Hollywood studios, and just about anyone who is in the business of delivering entertainment to consumers.  For this reason alone, it is important for writers to have a basic idea about what audiences look for.

Note, I’m not suggesting that writers chase the latest trends in the best-sellers list.  By the time most writers complete a new work, what’s exciting and hot will have become yesterday’s forgotten idea.

Instead, I’m suggesting that understanding the basic demographic data around people’s consumption of stories can be helpful in defining who the audience we are writing for is.

Every writer should hold an ideal audience member in their minds eye as they write and write to please that person.  If the audience we want to write for is children, then we should have a child in mind as we write.  If we write for a teen or young adult audience, we should keep a specific teen in mind.  To do this, it is helpful to know what different audiences are looking for.

Children Under 5 – 7

Children under five look for wonder (100%), humor (96%), and mild horror (92%).  They respond almost universally to fantasy and science fiction and want to be amazed by fairies and gnomes and intelligent talking fungi and rocket ships.  They want to laugh (often in fairly unsophisticated ways) and will chuckly at anything surprising.  And, they also enjoy scary stories – if the scares are very mild.

Older Children under 12

Older kids look for adventure.  By the time they are five, boys are looking for adventure and by seven, girls are also.  Stories of exploration, competition, survival, etc. are sought out.  The setting can be any place or any time, but adventure is requisite.

Teens

At about age 12, boys and girls seem to differentiate in their tastes.  Boys remain focused on adventure (96%) and wonder (96%) – in roughly equal amounts – enjoying fantasy and action stories.  Somewhere between the age of 12 and 16 many girls move away from adventure stories and develop a taste for romance (without losing their taste for wonder).  Material that has the broadest appeal tends to include fantasy and romance.

Twenty-Somethings

By their twenties, women are primarily interested in romance and consume romance novels, films, etc. almost exclusively.  Men focus their attention on thrillers, primarily, enjoying suspense, tension, and action.

Midlife and Up

Women primarily seek out drama and mystery in their forties.  Men still enjoy thrillers, but by their fifties are almost indistinguishable from female consumers in their taste for drama and mystery.

A note on Settings

Audiences desire an experience that takes them far away from their day to day lives.  As a result, authors face a key choice when picking the setting.  Audiences want a uniquely interesting setting to explore.  Pick a setting, even one that is familiar, that will reveal something unique to the audience.  Try to avoid clichés.

Conclusion

When we know who our target audience is (who we wish to attract to our stories) we need to write the kind of story that audience is looking for.  Publishers will also tell you that it’s a good idea to make your protagonist match your audience.  If you are writing for a female teenage market, then you are likely to attract a larger audience by writing a female teenage protagonist in a fantasy or romance story.  If you are writing a story that is meant to appeal to an older demographic (in their fifties) you would be well advised to write both a male and female protagonist of middle age engaged in a drama or mystery.  While girls will engage with a story that has a male protagonist, boys are far less likely to engage with a story that has a female protagonist.

Alternatively, write the story you want to write, but be aware of the audience to whom it might appeal.  Some early thought about who the audience for your work is, will save much time in helping you find and connect to that audience efficiently in your marketing efforts.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Understanding What an Audience Wants appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Aristotle and Catharsis

Aristotle was aware that stories achieve an effect in an audience that is somehow pleasing; what we call entertainment.  He intuitively felt this was good for us as human beings (and in this I concur).  But for Aristotle, the definition of what is good for us needed to be framed in terms of a moral contribution to the community.  As a result, he came up with the idea of catharsis; a process by which (through immersion in a story and identification with the characters) audience members experience and are purged of unwanted emotions (such a pity and sympathy).

Greece was a fierce and violent society in which such emotions were considered unmanly and dangerous to the welfare of society as a whole.  His viewpoint comes close to our contemporary understanding of the psychological function of story-telling (see below) but, in my view, doesn’t quite get there.

Aristotle also suggested that stories are broadening because they give us access to other perspectives on the world that we (like children imitating the world of adults) can incorporate into our emotional and intellectual repertoire.  However, he, wisely, gave primacy of place to the emotional release of fiction.

Biochemistry

In our own day and age we are less concerned with the educational and moral value of fiction than this emotional release.  David Farland has constructed a fairly compelling description of how and why this emotional release is significant to human beings, both as an explanation of its importance and as a blueprint for what an audience is looking for.

Farland studied medicine at one point and noted the similarity between the body’s biofeedback loop for dealing with stress and the construction of a typical plot.  In stories we identify with one or more protagonists and vicariously experience their stress as they repeatedly try and fail to achieve their goals, the tension rising to a climax at which point, the stress is resolved and some form of satisfying emotional release occurs (in which the protagonist, in some way, “wins”), followed by a quick return to a “new” normality and equilibrium.

The human brain has many parts, but of particular interest is the unconscious and conscious mind.  The conscious mind concerns itself with things such as which television program to watch, how nice the steak we are eating tastes, and how much food to fork into our mouths at once.  It is the part of the brain concerned with consciously controlling things. 

The unconscious mind concerns itself with all the automatic systems in our mind and body.  It keeps our heart pumping without us consciously controlling every beat.  It keeps us breathing.  It serves up emotions.  And it deals with stress.  The unconscious mind, reacts to threats in a fairly universal manner.  When it detects a threat, it raises our heart rate, releases adrenaline into our system, directs blood to our feet and hands, and otherwise prepares us for action to avoid life threatening stimuli.  When the threat has been resolved, the tension in the body is released in a flood of well-being hormones and brain chemicals.  The unconscious mind does this automatically, without our needing to consciously turn these systems on or off.  But because it is an automatic process, it is triggered as easily by a fictional threat as it is by a real one.

According to Farland, our inbuilt (and unconscious) response to stories provides us with a way to exercise and strengthen our coping mechanisms via the bodies own bio-feedback loop; we experience the stress, resolution, release, and relief that occurs in real life, but without having to experience it all first hand.

I am old enough to remember when librarians were quick to warn kids of the danger of escapist literature and would keep such books in an “adult” section of the library.  As a result, I am aware that Farland’s view is only one contribution to a several-thousand-year-old debate about whether fiction is good for us.  Regardless, I think he has succeeded in demonstrating why some stories appeal to us (at the biochemical level) and others do not; why some story patterns succeed and others fail; why audiences respond positively to some stories and not others.

Some stories provide “emotional exercise” for the reader and a good writer delivers this as a service to the reader – one that the reader expects and does not appreciate being short-changed over.  Stories must create “a pleasing amount of stress” that reaches a dramatic climax and is resolved.  Different readers have different requirements with regard to the trappings of story.  Some readers respond to horror, some do not.  Some readers respond to romance, some do not.  Regardless all stories must create stress in the reader, but this stress must be safe; it must be presented in a way that transports the reader into another time, place or persona and offers hope that the stress will be resolved. As well as this, the story must provide resolution by ensuring all the major conflicts are resolved as powerfully as possible, releasing the characters, where possible into a state of rest.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Aristotle, Catharsis, Entertainment, and the Biochemistry of Responding to Audio Drama appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

THOUGHTS ON CHARACTERS

I go back and forwards on the issue of character.  I used to write long, involved, and often useless amounts of back-story and description with regard to character, planning out the internal and external traits and attitudes they held in great detail.  Typically, the character would morph into someone quite different during the writing.

Feeling this was largely an inefficient waste of time, I went to the other extreme and began defining some key traits and emotions that defined the character instead.  This was more effective (for finding the character’s voice at least) but left the character without enough past to define the character’s motivation.

I now vacillate backwards and forwards between some clear pre-planned parameters regarding traits, emotion and personal history and a more organic approach to discovering the character in the writing process.  Will this be my last pass at this?  I’m not sure.

Finding characters

There are a number of ways to come up with characters.  Brainstorming helps.  You can model characters on real people (that you know) or celebrities or characters from books.  This can help you find the unique voice of your character (as expressed in their word choices and the forms of expression they use). 

You may already have a character concept.  If so, you can interview the character to determine who they are.  Pretend you are an interviewer and ask the character questions – then answer the questions in the first person. 

A bit of research goes a long way.  My undergraduate psychology and sociology studies have been incredibly useful in helping me understand what makes a character tick.

Another approach is to actively set out to research and meet people of the type you wish to write about.  Real people are genuinely surprising.  You never know who or what you will encounter.  I have met concentration camp survivors, submariners, airplane pilots and engineers, academic professors, parents of kids with disabilities, disabled people, cancer victims, recently bereaved folks, tradesmen, police, politicians, doctors, nurses, teachers, accountants, travellers, refugees, con-men, criminals, and one serial killer (that I know of) in my lifetime.  Real people have fascinating and surprising stories.  Ask lots of questions.

Writing is a solitary pursuit, but taking the time to get to know real people will only enrich your writing.

Appearance

The basics of character are pretty easy to define; height, weight, skin color, body shape, hair, eyes, facial features and clothing.  In audio drama, none of these are obvious to the listener, being visual information.  Without the visual sense, they must be revealed through dialog and/or narration.  But, because audio drama doesn’t afford us the luxury of long prose descriptions in narration and because it is necessarily on-the-nose to deliver physical description in quantity through dialog, we must supply these traits to the listener in small, well-spaced, judiciously chosen doses.  Not every detail of appearance is pertinent, but the most noticeable details should be supplied. 

Imagine a default male.  The majority of people will construct such a male in line with their own ethnicity, average in height, clean shaven and, generally speaking, fit.  Such a character needs little beyond hair color and clothing to take shape in an audience-member’s mind (but don’t be surprised if such a character is so generic that they are as quickly forgotten by an audience member as they are easily imagined).

Deviations from the norm need to be highlighted for the audience.  Is the character grossly overweight? The audience member needs to know.  Does the character have eyes of a particularly striking color or shade? The audience needs to be informed.  Facial hair, ethnicity, scars, bald, a limp?  Anything out of the ordinary needs to be communicated to the audience.

Audio-drama is color-blind in so far as people will create a general (male or female) place-holder for a character that stands in for themselves.  As details arise, the picture is modified and “painted in”.  But the earlier that major deviations from the generic placeholder are presented to the audience the better.  Once the character feels established, the audience will begin to resist new information regarding how they look.

Inside a conflict is a great place to introduce physical features to the audience. Conflict is one of those rare occasions (along with gossip) that people will actually comment on appearance out loud.

1. SALIERI: Jimmy, you’re a disgusting tub o’ lard.  That yellow wind-breaker and thatch o’ red-hair on your head makes you look like a christmas pudding topped with custard and a cherry.

A short bit of narration can, likewise, do it…

1. NARRATOR: Jimmy was looking larger than ever.  He waddled into the room wrapped in his yellow windbreaker and thatch of red hair, looking for all the world like a christmas pudding topped with custard and a cherry.

And of course, you can provide a description through another character before introducing them to a scene…

1. MARY: Did you see Jimmy, yesterday, crammed into that suit of his and bulging like a balloon that’s being squeezed through the palings of a picket fence?  I’m surprised he could even move around in those trousers.  With that yellow wind-breaker and his thatch of red hair on top, he looked like nothing so much as a Christmas pudding topped with custard and a cherry.

Because human beings in an audience naturally use themselves as a fundamental template for the characters that are being constructed in their brains, a lack of detail can help the audience to identify with the character that the story is presenting – but don’t rely to heavily on this.  Some detail is needed to stop a character from blending into the background of the story.

Minor characters need less detail than major characters.  And often only one detail is needed to define a walk on part (the presence of a stethoscope, a mailman’s cap, a police uniform, etc.).  Minor characters need a bit more fleshing out, while major characters often need a good deal of detail.  However many details are required, I would suggest that you don’t try to deliver more than three in any particular scene.  Challenging as it is to do this in a way that feels natural, signature features should be communicated in the first scene in which a character appears.

Some writers try to increase audience engagement by hiding, and raising questions about, a character’s physical traits.  This isn’t a good idea.  Hiding information that is obvious and trivial (such as how someone looks) creates a false tension that merely annoys most audiences.

Make sure you use good (by which I mean attention-grabbing, visual, and specific) nouns and adjectives when describing a character’s physical appearance. 

Different characters will notice different things from one another and express them differently.  Where an unimaginative character might notice that the judge is “fat and has a double chin”, another, more literary, character might notice that the judge is “corpulent and has chins which flow down to his chest without bothering with the inconvenience of a neck”.  One description is far more evocative (if less efficient) than the other.

Clothes also have a generic placeholder in most people’s minds.  The average person will give a character a basic set of generic clothes suitable to the setting.  A business suit, or a casual and generic jeans and t-shirt combo would be common in most situations.  Color, etc. remains unimportant unless particularly striking.  The more details deviate from this base norm, the more description is needed for the audience.

People are less prickly about comments regarding their clothing than their physique, so to mention the red button with the gold trim that decorates a business executive’s lapel might not be as unusual in casual conversation and dialog as mentioning the size of someone’s nose.

Avoiding clichés

Often our first thoughts regarding our protagonists and other characters are superficial and cliched.  The lantern-jawed hero has been done to death.  As has the raven-haired heroine.  Brainstorm alternatives and variations to your characters.  Look for ways to make them unique and memorable.  What is it that makes your character stand out and depart from the template.  We have already discussed how to communicate these signature features when they arise in an audio play.  It is also important to seek them out and include them in order to make your characters unique.

Interior life and backstory

So far, we have limited this discussion to the exterior appearance of a character, but what about the interior.  The interior of a character is revealed in action.  It can’t be described like the exterior of an individual.  Instead it is revealed as characters interact with their goals.  In fact, description is the death knell of character because character’s never directly reveal their inner landscape so that if it appears that a character is doing so, the audience generally feels the behaviour is inauthentic, or the character is being deceitful.

The bare minimum of backstory needed, when it comes to the interior of characters, is the reason behind the desire and the wound.  The desire is what the character wants – the primary thing which they are willing to work for and gamble to get.  The wound is a flaw that they are desperate to hide and protect.  Why does the character have this desire – what, in the character’s past, has led to its pre-eminence?  Why does the character have this flaw – what hurt them or drove them to protect themselves in this way?  The desire and the flaw are both born of crisis.  Perhaps the character grew up poor and has a deep drive to achieve financial security (desire).  Perhaps the character grew up poor and feels the need to protect what they have, hiding their resources and refusing to share them (flaw).  The desire and flaw need not be born of the same crisis, but they are often closely related – for example, a need for recognition (desire) and a secret belief that they are unworthy of love (flaw).

It is important to understand that our experiences provide the motivations for our actions.  This is why many writer’s guides suggest we plan out ahead of time the love-life, family-life, friends, work-life, goals and ambitions, most significant conflict, strongest desire, strongest fear, strongest value, deep dark secret/secret shame, etc. of our characters.  A character can act any way we wish, so long as the behaviour is properly motivated.  I am toying, at the moment, with inventing the backstory/motivation of my characters on the fly, but it isn’t going terribly smoothly.  Once I discover that my character behaves a certain way in response to an event in the story, I need to go back and establish the behaviour as part of the character’s emotional repertoire at an earlier point.  Pre-planning the character more fully would make this a less onerous requirement. 

Expression of character

Characters express their interior desires and flaws through action, and action is expressed as a product of their traits and emotions.  If a character is loud (trait) and angry (emotion), she will express herself quite differently to a character who is shy (trait) and angry (emotion).

Actions are motivated in the first instance by a character’s desire or flaw.  They act to achieve an outcome or protect some hurt.  But all action provokes reaction, and the first action must necessarily provoke a reaction from the forces of antagonism within the story that in turn causes a reaction from the protagonist and so on.  Each action and reaction is an expression of the interior life of the character, expressed through trait and emotion, as an attempt to achieve some specific end, but what it tells us about the character’s emotion must be oblique, read in the subtext.

In a drama, a wife must never say to her husband “I am angry because you failed to wash the dishes last night”.  Instead a constellation of elements – her secret fear that the members of the family do not truly love her, her desire to run the house like a museum, her sense of personal pride, and her sense of hurt, all need to be expressed as subtext.

1. KAREN: (WHISTLING HAPPILY AT A DISTANCE)
2. SOUND: DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS ENTER AND STOP.  WHISTLING STOPS ABRUPTLY.
3. KAREN: Dan?
4. DAN: Oh, hi honey.  I’m just fixing a couple of sandwiches.
5. KAREN: But…? (ALMOST IN TEARS) But you knew I was having the ladies’ auxiliary over to tea this morning.  (BEAT) Look at the state of things…  oh, how could you?
6. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS RUSH OUT.  DOOR SLAMS.
7. DAN: But Karen…?

This clearly isn’t enough to establish the character of Karen in its fulness.  The subtext needs to be built up over a variety of scenes and moments within the story.  But to establish the subtext and sell it to the audience effectively, the character must be well known and understood by the writer; personal history, financial history, medical history, how the character feels about his/her traits and experiences, how he/she reacts to things and what tends him/her towards conflict, etc.

Conflict and character expression

Stories are about the interactions/clashes between characters; their fears, hopes, rivalries, jealousy, feelings, etc.

To give characters the room to express their inner drives and hurts, the writer needs to maximise the opportunity for conflict.  All characters within a story, even those who are friends (and especially those who are family) must be in conflict with one another.  These conflicts needn’t all be on the level of the primary conflict between the protagonist and the antagonist.  They can be relatively minor, but they must be present.

Further every conflict should be attended by complex and conflicted feelings between the characters.  Bill and Mary, a married couple, have won a cash prize.  Bill wants to take a holiday.  Mary wants to spend the money helping out their adult kids.  Mary knows Bill really needs a holiday, the first real vacation they will have had in years, and Bill knows how much the kids could really use the money.  As a result, both sides of the conflict are internally conflicted.  The outcome of the conflict could genuinely go either way.  Such a conflict is far more interesting than if the two characters simply wanted what they wanted and there were no extenuating (or complicating) factors at work in the debate.

Character roles

Characters within a story have a number of functions and roles.  A given character can inhabit more than one role.  It can be helpful to inventory the characters in the story we have developed to make sure that all the story functions are covered.

The first essential role is that of the Protagonist.  The protagonist is the primary viewpoint character of the story and the character with whom the audience is expected to identify and root for.

The Antagonist is the protagonist’s polar opposite.  He or she is everything that the protagonist isn’t.  He or she is an older, more powerful, more experienced, center of power.  This individual wants something that conflicts with what the protagonist wants.  The protagonist happens to be in the antagonist’s way and draws the antagonist’s ire as a result.  Like every character, the antagonist must be fully motivated in their actions.

The Guide is an older, more experienced teacher, mentor, wizard, scholar, and friend to the protagonist.  He or she may reject the student at first.  This mentor may, in some cases, be in competition with a number of potential guide.  The protagonist may reject his or her guide at first also.  Conflict arises when a protagonist and his/her guide reject each other.

The Contagonist is an individual who is an underling to the antagonist (with an agenda of their own) and the opposite number to the Guide.  This individual often tries to recruit the protagonist.  The protagonist is in danger of becoming a contagonist (and vice versa; the contagonist is quite capable of betraying the antagonist and switching sides too).

Sidekicks support the protagonist through thick and thin.  These individuals believe in, are loyal to, and devoted to the character (though this devotion is not necessarily that rational).

Minions (there are usually a minimum of three) exist to expose the weaknesses of the protagonist; they are hecklers who tell the protagonist what is wrong with them.  Sidekicks and hecklers can switch sides.  The antagonist rarely sees others as equals and so has minions rather than sidekicks.

The true love character can combine characteristics of other character types (offering wisdom, loyalty, love, etc.).  The true love functions to reward the protagonist for making the right choices. This character need not be a real person, but can rather be an abstract personification of places or ideals.

The Temptation character can combine characteristics of other character types (offering the worldview of the contagonist, loyalty, love, etc.).  They function to reward the protagonist for  wrong choices. Like the true love, the temptation character need not necessarily be a real person, but can be an abstract personfication of desire, power, etc.

Characters within a story can change roles.  The contagonist can become an ally or guide to the protagonist.  A sidekick can betray the protagonist and become a minion of the antagonist, etc.

Family structure as a model for protagonist relationships

The characters you group around your protagonist often take the form of an artificial family of about six members.  A father character, a mother, three sibling rivals, and a supportive uncle or aunt.  They do not need to be related by blood, but they take on the relational characteristics of such a group.  For example, a military team might be formed by a tough but fair captain and supportive lieutenant.  Three squad members, competing for attention, head strong and wet behind the ears, take the role of the siblings, while a gunnery sergeant acts as the uncle or aunt to the group.

Protagonists and likeability

It is essential to make the protagonist in a story likeable.  The audience must want to hear this character’s story and they will not do so if there is nothing likeable about the character.  Create curiosity.  Create conflict. And find a way to get the audience on the character’s side (if only a little bit).  Some things are known to assist in promoting likeability in characters…

• Sympathy is created when you put your character in pain.
• Likeability is promoted where you weigh your protagonist down with conflicts and obstacles (creating an underdog vibe).
• Likeability increases where the protagonist engages in a kindness to the helpless; patting a dog, rescuing a cat from a tree, donating to charity.
• Likeability increases when a protagonist is made to care about others.  Even if they don’t care at first, they must learn to care.
• Give your protagonist an attractive personality; attractive people have fun and are interested in others.
• A character increases in likeability if they are liked by others.  Give your protagonist a crowd of loyal friends and they will appear more likeable.         
• Make the character admirable.  Give them an ability or superpower – something or a couple of things that they do really well that brings admiration.

Number of characters

You must have at least one protagonist that functions as the point of view character.  Point of view characters may be added to a story, but they increase the length of the story by about double.   A 32 page script becomes a 64 page script with two point of view characters to explore.  It becomes a 96 page script if three point of view characters are present, etc.  Be aware that the more characters you, the more pages you will need.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post The Design of Characters appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Conversation is research

I’m a shy person and fairly introspective.  I need people, but I don’t spend a lot of time seeking them out – I live with the constant fear that if I pursue them, I will bore them (and I REALLY don’t want to be “that friend” that everyone avoids).  And, worse, I’m appalling at small-talk.  I try,  but I’m clumsy at it.  Over the years I’ve developed some tools and guidelines to help me out in social situations.

For example, there is a phrase that, when I hear it, sends a tight prickle of fear and despair shooting along my spine.  “Hey Craig, we’ve been invited to a party”.

For me, parties are the worst.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being invited.  I just hate being in attendance at one.  I don’t know what to do with my hands, for a start.  And I’m painfully aware that I’m lousy at small-talk and that small-talk is what everyone in the room is practicing.  I desperately want to find a corner somewhere that I can sit in and talk with someone about Schopenhaur or Christology or books or movies or writing – uninterrupted for a minimum of half an hour.  And then I want to go home.

As an introvert, my batteries will have been flattened by the first fifteen minutes of interaction and I desperately want somewhere quiet to be, preferably with a bookshelf (or dvd or music shelf) that I can quietly browse while I try to recharge.  As a result, I know more about the reading tastes of some of my acquaintances than I do about them personally.

Anyway, I’ve learned a few tricks and insights that help me at parties.  The first is that I’ve learned that deep and meaningful conversation is largely unwanted at a party (unless I am lucky enough to stumble on a fellow introverted nerd who shares my tragic passions).  Instead, a party exists to help people meet each other and feel out who might be interesting to get to know more fully.  The whole point is to circulate, find out what people are into, and arrange to catch up over coffee if it looks like the person is interesting enough, and there’s enough common ground, to try to build a friendship.

This, by the way, is why introverts find the experience so hellish.  We’re not samplers.  Neither are we any good at delayed gratification.  If we meet someone interesting, we want to dive deep, right then and there.  But that’s not what parties are for, and so we feel awkward and like a fish out of water and don’t know what to say.

The second thing I’ve learned to do, is to grab a plate or a cup to hide behind.  It solves the problem of what to do with my hands.  I have no intention of eating what’s on the plate or drinking what’s in the cup (because an empty plate or cup has to be put away to be washed, leaving me without any armor) so I carry it around and my hands are kept busy.

The third thing I’ve learned is a conversation trick called the “conversation stack”.  It’s a list of pre-prepared conversation topics that I carry around in my head – I’m not kidding, I really do this.  First, I find out your name, your family, who you live with and where (not specifics, I’m not a stalker) and whether you have a pet or pets.  Next, I ask about your work and your hobbies/sports/interests.  Lastly, I ask about travel – have you been anywhere or done anything interesting?  At this point, I’m out of topics and I know it’s time to move on to the next poor soul.

The final thing I’ve learned about parties, is to treat them as research opportunities.  I’m a writer and I’ve learned to ask the kind of questions that help me find out if someone is or isn’t interesting – and by the way, everyone is interesting if you can find the right topic or ask the right question.

I’ve learned to avoid the kinds of questions that can be answered with a yes or no.  “Do you like fish?” is a conversation stopper.  “What’s your favourite place to encounter a fish?” is much more conducive to holding a conversation (generating lots of follow-up questions), but even then, it can be answered with a single word or short phrase (“fishing”, or “at James’ seafood restaurant”.  “Why?” isn’t a great question, since it tends to make people defensive so that they feel like they’re being interrogated by their parents.

The best kinds of questions are about action.  “What do you think about…?” is not nearly as interesting as “What did you do when…?”.  It’s been my experience that people will tell you about themselves in terms of how they want to appear, but their actions reveal who they are.  In fact, I’m sure we all know people whose public self-representations and private actions differ markedly.  When we encounter someone who can eloquently extoll the virtues of kindness to animals, but goes home and kicks their dog, we inevitably choose to believe the behaviour over the words.

For this reason, “what did you do then?” is a phenomenal question to ask. 

“How did you cope when your husband passed away?” leads to answers like “oh, I bore up and carried on as best I could”.  But “What did you do when your husband passed away?” leads to answers like “I locked myself in the bedroom for two days, pulled the blankets up around my head, and left the kids to fend for themselves”.

Character is best revealed in drama through action

Drama and the writing of drama is all about capturing the actions that demonstrate character rather than the words that a person says about their own motivations.  In audio drama, we have to find a way to “show” those behaviours through dialogue.  We can demonstrate a conflict through an argument, but how do we “show” grief?  Our grieving wife, locking herself in the bedroom with the covers around her head, works great in a screenplay or stage play, but isn’t quite so well suited to audio drama.

In audio drama, action is made visible through interaction.  Characters who are alone, need to give us access to their inner thoughts via monologue – and for many audience members this, while useful in small doses, isn’t as helpful as an exchange between characters.

Compare…

1. SOUND: DOORBELL RINGS – DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH
2. JANE: I just looked at the well-wishers on the doorstep.  I already had acres of quiche – enough to survive a Russian winter.  They stood there with carefully arranged sympathetic looks on their faces and casserole dishes in their hands and all I could think was how much they looked like they’d signed up for the grieving widow package tour.  “See the woman whose husband died in her natural habitat.  Feeding time at 2.00 pm”.  I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I shut the door in their faces.
3. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES – LET IT FINISH

With

1. SOUND: DOORBELL RINGS – DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH
2. MARY: (SICKLY SWEET) Good morning Jane, Keith and I were passing and we thought we’d drop in to share our condolences… Isn’t that right, Keith?
3. KEITH: Er… yes. Of course.  How are you, Jane?
4. MARY: I’ll just put this down over here, shall I?  Just some quiche I knocked up.  Nothing special.  (BEAT) Oh.  Well, I’m sure you’ll find some room… somewhere.
5. JANE: Mary, er… thanks, but, this isn’t…
6. MARY: Oh, it’s fine Jane.  No need to put on airs for us.  We can’t expect the house to be in its usual state now, can we?  My, but you have let things go, haven’t you?
7. KEITH: Now, Mary…
8. MARY: Oh, it’s all right, Keith.  Jane isn’t embarrassed, are you dear?
9. JANE: (FLUSTERED) I’m sorry, but I just wasn’t expecting…
10. MARY:  Perfectly, understandable dear.  And how are you feeling?  You know I was just saying to Keith, that I always felt that John was a little fragile.  But even so, suicide?  I mean, it’s a messy business, isn’t it?
11. (BEAT)
12. KEITH: I’m sorry, Jane,  I think we’d better—
13. MARY: Oh, do stop fussing, Keith.  Jane’s fine.  And did you say they found him in the kitchen, dear?  I couldn’t just have a quick—
14. JANE: (COLDLY) I think you should leave, Mary. 
15. MARY: What?
16. JANE: Now.  And you, too, Keith.
17. KEITH: (EMBARASSED) Of course, Jane.  Let me…
18. MARY: Well!  (OFFENDED) I guess we can tell when we’re not wanted.
19. JANE: Yes, I guess you can.
20. MARY: Come on, Keith.
21. KEITH: (TO JANE) I’m so sorry for your loss…
22. MARY: … And I’m taking the quiche.
23. DOOR CLOSES – LET IT FINISH.
24. JANE: (SOBS) – FADE OUT.

Both approaches work to an extent.  The second, I think, demonstrates the action of the first more effectively and communicates the difference between a person’s words and actions.  Interaction between characters allows for greater drama than simple narration – though each is effective in its own way.

Internal conflict is also revealed through action

Action is also the means by which internal conflict is revealed without resort to monologue.

Compare…

1. CLARKE: I didn’t know which way to turn.  The boss needed the plans, and was demanding I put in for overtime, but Anne was ready to walk out.  The anniversary dinner was my last chance to show her that I really cared.

With

1. BOSS: How are those plans coming along, Clarke? 
2. CLARKE: They’re coming.  We’ve had a cancellation.  Our supplier has run out of the double glazing we ordered.
3. BOSS: Then find another source.  I don’t care how long it takes.  Overtime is approved.
4. CLARKE: I’m on it.
5. SOUND: BOSS WALKS AWAY – FADE.
6. JIM (CO-WORKER):  But weren’t you meeting Anne for your anniversary tonight.
7. CLARKE: Oh, hell.  I forgot.  I’m supposed to confirm our reservation.
8. SOUND: PHONE NUMBER BEING ENTERED – BRIEF PAUSE
9. CLARKE: Carlitos’?  Yes, I’m confirming a booking for Masters.  (BEAT) Yes, 8.00 PM.  (BEAT) Thanks.
10. JIM: You’ll never make it.
11. CLARKE: I have to.  Anne’ll do something drastic if I miss another anniversary.

Here we have an internal conflict.  Clarke wants to meet his work responsibilities and attend a wedding anniversary dinner with his wife.  He takes action in both directions, but the audience knows that, barring a miracle, one or the other of these two objectives can’t be met.  By observing Clarke’s action we get an insight into the state of his mind and the internal conflict is “dramatized” for the audience.

In scriptwriting we use dialog to demonstrate action, not merely by telling, but by showing, through interaction, how characters respond to situations. These responses reveal character to the audience.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Characters are what they do, not what they say appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Designing Effective Character Growth and Change in Audio Drama

All stories are about change.  Time in stories can be linear or circular, but change is a given.  Inevitably we think about change in terms of character and there are a variety of ways we deal with character change. 

Aristotle

Aristotle argued that there were two main forms of change in stories.  A character rises (from shame to honor) or falls (from honor to shame).  For a long time, in Western culture, this was considered the model for all drama.

Linear Arcs

In recent centuries the idea of the character arc has come into vogue – a literary description of human growth towards maturity. 

Two ideas seem to be essential to the growth and tragedy arcs.  Firstly, there must be a mismatch between what a character wants and what they ultimately need.  Secondly, this mismatch must be created by a significant flaw (or wound) in the character – something that they don’t realize consciously, but which results in a bunch of self-protective behaviors that inhibit growth.

For example, Character A “wants” stability and so seeks to control his/her environment in dysfunctional ways, but “needs” to learn to live in a messy and unpredictable world.  In many ways tragedy occurs where the character is so focused on what they want that they never discover and pursue what they need – losing even what they have and coming to ruin in the process.  The growth arc is expressed through the discovery (recognition) of what they need and their actions to redirect their desires away from what they “want” to that thing that they “need”.

The typical growth arc is as follows.

• Life before change – a demonstration of the character’s dysfunction in daily life.
• Call to change – an event that demands the character makes a change.
• Resisting change – the character’s initial attempts to avoid making a change.
• Embracing change – the realisation that a change is needed and a refocusing upon that change.
• Testing change – the character’s attempt to be different is given a significant trial.
• Demonstrating change – the character demonstrates they are different through a costly choice.
• Life after change – a demonstration of what the character’s life looks like after the change has been negotiated.

A tragic arc is similar but has some key differences.  The first three stages (Life before change, Call to change, and Resisting change) remain more or less the same, but then comes…

• Rejecting change/making a choice – the character makes a conscious choice to not merely resist, but to reject change.
• Testing choice – this choice is tested significantly with negative results.
• Confirmation of choice – the refusal to change comes to a head resulting in a disaster in which everything the character has been struggling to protect is lost.
• Aftermath – a demonstration of the ruin into which the character’s life has fallen after failing to successfully negotiate the needed change.

Circles

Both of these are linear ways of thinking about character change.  Western culture has focused on these kinds of stories, primarily, throughout its history.  Asian cultures (and most mythologies) tend to think in circular rather than linear terms. 

Characters will often cycle from success to failure and back to success or vice versa (shame to honor and back to shame) often repeatedly in a spiral.  The much-discussed hero’s journey is a circular pattern of story telling in which “there and back again” is a deliberate choice.  I recently completed Liu Cixin’s “Rememberance of Earth’s Past” (Three Body Problem) trilogy and it is, perhaps, one of the clearest examples of the circular/spiral approach that I have seen.

Non-Arcs

Strictly speaking, however, depicting a protagonist who successfully or unsuccessfully navigates change ( or experiences a circle of growth) is not the only way to tell a satisfying story.  There is a third type of character arc – better known as the non-arc.  In this type of story the character doesn’t change at all.  Instead, they impact the characters around them and prove to be a catalyst for change in others.  The story of Jesus is one of the most easily recognized.  But it exists also in the Paddington films and, as a negative example, the evil Mr. Ripley (and the disaster inflicted on the people who encounter him) springs to mind.

As writers we have a lot of options available to us with respect to the growth and change of our characters.  Change is inevitable and these patterns can help us to think through and make the changes that our characters experience feel authentic.

Serials

Serials provide a unique challenge.  The characters in a serial “tend” to remain fairly static.  Change occurs very slowly, if at all.  This is also a legitimate pattern – though, even in serial fiction, character change tends, when used judiciously, to enhance the story telling.  Long form storytelling (such as Breaking Bad) tends to pay more attention to character growth and change than episodic shows (such as MacGuyver).  The current fashion (of long form story-telling) trends away from static characters in serials, but a static character is still a perfectly legitimate choice for a writer to make.

Mistakes

It’s a commonplace to say that “there are no rules” in storytelling, but some approaches are more effective than others.  One approach to character growth that doesn’t work for me is to employ regular character resets.  A reset occurs where a character changes and grows through a character arc and then resets so that we watch the character experience the same or a similar change again in the next episode, series, etc.  Resetting to negotiate a new character arc based on a new flaw, also tends to feel unsatisfying (unless it grows organically out of the last one).  Where they are used at all, character arcs need to feel authentic and grow out of the lived experience of the characters.  A character arc for its own sake will feel artificial and unsatisfying to an audience.  In a soap opera, characters might make random choices that maximise drama (unsatisfying as this tends to be), but in a more grounded script, character change is a result of good character design.

Character design

Central to the design of a character capable of experiencing growth is a set of five features.

• Desires/goals
• Flaws/wounds
• Traits
• Strategies
• Emotions

A character wants a particular thing but the character’s flaws prevent them from achieving it, or causes them to seek the goal in a dysfunctional and counterproductive way.  The character is defined by a series of traits that are expressed in the strategies they pursue to achieve their goals.  The character is further revealed by their emotional responses to the events they experience.

For example; Millicent Westenra has inherited a houseboat on the Thames and, because she can’t afford its maintenance, wants to sell it (goal) – unfortunately it is a rust-bucket.  She’s a practical, impatient sort (traits), and something of a bully and control freak (flaws).  She often attempts to manipulate others (strategies). Her anxieties are expressed in anger and frustration at others (emotions) when she can’t get her own way.  This character clearly provides the writer with lots of potential for change, growth, and failure to grow.

The interaction between plot and character

Note that change is a function of conflict and character change is a function, more especially, of internal conflict.  The external events that provide obstacles to the achievement of the character’s goals become far more interesting when they trigger or mirror internal conflicts (in which the character is forced to combat their own desires).  Internal conflicts arise where the character becomes aware that they want two simultaneously incompatible things.  Change occurs as the character gives up one thing in order to embrace something else (sacrificing their sense of safety and control in order to take a risk that allows them to achieve a greater good).  The best conflicts are those that challenge the character’s comfortable patterns of life.  What we want to design are plot events which force the character to depart from the path of least resistance onto a road of struggle. 

Every character has a habitual approach to solving problems.  A highly dependent character will, for example, turn to others to solve their problems for them (perhaps a parent).  So, as authors, we kill the parent and force them to seek another path.  The first instinct of the character may then be to find a replacement for the missing parent figure (the path of least resistance is the path that allows the character to apply their most familiar strategies).  So, we close these options off.  People refuse to help and turn their backs on the character’s attempts to shift responsibility or find a rescuer.  Now the character is forced to decide how badly they want the things they get from the solving of their problems.  If the desired “good” is desirable enough the conflict will become internal – they must defeat their desire to shift responsibility to others and take responsibility for themselves.  In this way the events of the plot interact with the character’s personality to add extra layers of conflict that improve our experience of stories.

Conclusion

Stories are about change.  Events can drive change and so, plot is a significant driver of change and interest within our stories.  But change, driven by a character’s internal needs and conflicts, gives us the ability to increase the complexity and satisfaction that our stories create for our audiences. Change arcs are a proven way to accomplish this.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post More thoughts on Character Growth and Change appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

There are at least four types of time that are commonly used by authors when writing scripts;

• Real time
• Concurrent time
• Disjointed (or Flexible) time
• And Elided time.

Real time is experienced with the characters moment by moment.  While I call it “real time” it is, in fact, only an approximation of real-world time.  The pacing created by sentences and selectivity also has an effect on our experience as the audience in “real time”.

A large amount of description can make an action that is being read, or heard about, take far longer on the page than it takes in real life.

Compare…

1. JOHN: I glance at her outfit, taking in the deep crimson of her dress, the mother-of-pearl buttons and her jade broach inset with pearls.  Her hat, of matching crimson with a black velvet band, was set at an angle, pulled low over one eye, revealing a mass of curly black hair that cascaded down the side of her face.  Her shoes, also red, had four-inch heels and buckles of silver.  All in all, she oozes money.  I only hope it isn’t a scam – there aren’t many well-heeled clients who cross the threshold of my low-rent establishment, and I could really use the fee.

With…

1. JOHN: I set the table and take the roast out of the oven, depositing it on the kitchen bench.

The first example describes a glance but takes far longer to listen to than the action itself.

The second involves description that is completed far more quickly than enacting it would require.

Both are delivered in the present but are actually distortions of time as it is usually experienced.

In audio drama, most conversations take place in real-time; the audience assumes the speech is being given as they hear it.

Concurrent time is a concession to our inability, as an audience, to experience time in anything other than a linear fashion.  In a story that has different characters acting in different places simultaneously, we need a way to reset the timeline to allow a scene to unfold at the same time as a previous scene.  It is, in practice, a form of flashback, but only for a short period in order to bring the story back into the present.  In prose narrative, this is accomplished by the use of the phrase “meanwhile”, but often requires no introduction at all.  Many times, the audience will assume that a change of scene to focus on the activities of new or different characters implies “meanwhile”.

SCENE 1: GANG’S HIDEOUT

1. …
2. BOB: I sent Jenny to the ammunition store twenty minutes ago.  She’ll be back any minute.
3. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER

SCENE 2: AMMUNITION STORE

1. SOUND: BELL OVER DOOR AS IT OPENS AND CLOSES
2. JENNY: Hey, Marty, how’s business.
3. MARTY: Oh, no.  I told you before, I don’t do business with you people no more.  You gotta leave, now.
4. JENNY: Is that anyway to treat an old friend?

Above, we could have included a narration at the opening of scene 2 to suggest the timing of the scene…

1. NARRATOR: Meanwhile, across town…

…but it really isn’t necessary.  The scene reads as concurrent without extra explanation.

Disjointed (or flexible) time (usually in the form of a flash-back or flash-forward) renders time non-linear and disrupts the timeline of the story.  It is a helpful way of providing information from the past or future to the audience “just in time”, at a point where the context makes the events relevant.

Writers achieve this in many ways.  A character may introduce the story from a vantage point in the future (Doctor Watson reminiscing on the years he spent with Sherlock Holmes). 

1. OLD WATSON:  As I think back to the Summer of 1886, I can’t help but remember my friend’s voice raised in irritation…
2. HOLMES: Watson!  Watson, where are my cartridges?
3. YOUNG WATSON:  I’ve hidden them, Holmes.  Gunfire inside the house is no longer something I or Mrs. Hudson can tolerate.

Narration can be used to set the time. 

1. NARRATOR: Three weeks ago, in Soho.

Vocal and/or sound cues can be provided.

1. DETECTIVE ROB: I can’t remember seeing this much blood at a crime-scene before.  And the smell…  (BEAT) Bill, what are you staring at?
2. BILL: That blood spray on the wall.  It’s not random.  I’ve seen it before.
3. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – FLASHBACK CUE
4. SOUND: LOTS OF MURMURING
5. DETECTIVE JOHNSON: (TO SELF) Why do I always get the crazy ones?  Hey Rookie, take a look at this.
6. YOUNG BILL: What is it, boss? (BEAT) Whoa.
7. JOHNSON: You said it.  What’s that look like to you?
8. YOUNG BILL: Well, it’s clearly blood.
9. DETECTIVE JOHNSON: Don’t be an idiot.  Of course it’s blood.  What else?
10. YOUNG BILL: Like a letter maybe.  Chinese or Japanese?
11. DETECTIVE JOHNSON: Yeah, I think someone was leaving us a message.

Elided time is time that is skipped in order to achieve a purpose.  We don’t need to know everything that characters do and see at every moment of the day.  Eating, sleeping, breathing, so much of life is uninteresting to the spectator that skipping it is necessary if we intend to keep the attention of our audience.

Narration can be a very efficient way of managing this…

1. NARRATOR: Shortly after midnight…

1. NARRATOR: Moments later…

1. NARRATOR: Six years later…

Sound effects and dialog can combine effectively also…

1. JIM: Thanks for lunch, Bill.  I’ll see you at five.
2. SOUND: CLOCK STRIKES FIVE PM – FADE IN.

Or dialog alone can achieve the effect.

1. JIM: See you at tonight’s meeting. (BEAT)
2. M.C: I call this meeting of the Venerable Lodge of the Albino Caribou to order.

Sometimes we want to quickly elide time in order for our characters to gain new skills.  In movies this is often achieved through a training montage.  I recently polled some friends for advice on how to achieve something similar in audio.  The following suggestions were made…

The narrator can describe the passage of time…

1. NARRATOR: Over the next few years Herbert and his brother were trained in the art of pugilism, knife fighting, pistols and improvisational combat.

The characters themselves might reveal it in conversation…

1. BOB: I hear your dad spent the last few years training you to handle yourself.
2. HERBERT: Yeah.  My brother and I learned small arms, knife fighting, hand-to-hand.  You name it.

An audio montage could be possible as well…

1. FATHER: If they make another attempt on your life, I want you boys prepared.  We start training tomorrow.
2. (BEAT)
3. FATHER: Hold the pistol with both hands and sight along it. Now, don’t pull the trigger… squeeze.
4. SOUND: TWO SHOTS – LET IT FINISH.
5. SOUND: CROSS FADE INTO CLASHING STEEL – UNDER
6. FATHER: Keep the sword up and the point forward.  Never give your opponent an opening.
7. SOUND: CROSS FADE INTO BODY BLOWS AND HERBERT AND MITCHELL GRUNTING
8. FATHER: That’s it.  Don’t forget your footwork…
9. HERBERT: Ungh!
10. SOUND: BODY DROP –
11. FATHER: Damn it, Oscar.  I told you to keep your guard up.  Your brother’s got a wicked left.

The suggestion that appealed to me most was to build some story into the montage; Herbert tries to learn the skill, fails, considers quitting, presses on, and finally achieves success.  This is especially appealing if it can be used to reveal character and add conflict to the overall story (Herbert butts heads with his father, Mitchell is jealous of his father’s attention to Herbert).

1. FATHER: You boys are going to learn to do this.
2. HERBERT: But why?
3. FATHER: They’ve made two attempts to kidnap you so far.  I need you boys to be able to protect each other.
4. HERBERT: Is that really it?
5. MITCHELL: Come on Oscar, why do you have to treat everything he says like it’s suspect?
6. FATHER: Your lessons start tomorrow.
7. (BEAT)
8. SOUND: TWO SHOTS – LET IT FINISH.
9. FATHER: Now it’s your turn, Herbert. Hold the pistol with both hands and sight along it. Steady. Now, don’t pull the trigger… squeeze.
10. SOUND: TWO SHOTS – LET IT FINISH.
11. FATHER: Damnit, Herbert.  You missed the target completely.  Try again.
12. MITCHELL: At least I got one shot on.
13. FATHER: Yeah, well.  You’ve got a better grip than he has, Mitch.  We’ll see how well you compare once your brother masters some basics.
14. SOUND: CROSS FADE INTO CLASHING STEEL – UNDER
15. FATHER: Keep the sword up and the point forward.  Never give your opponent an opening.
16. SOUND: SLIDE OF BLADE ALONG BLADE TO THUMP ON HILT
17. HERBERT: (BRIEF PAIN) Argh!
18. SOUND: SWORD CLATTERS ON FLOOR – LET IT FINISH.
19. FATHER: Pick it up.
20. HERBERT: Dad, we’ve been at this for hours.
21. FATHER: I said, “Pick it up”
22. SOUND: CROSS FADE INTO BODY BLOWS AND HERBERT AND MITCHELL GRUNTING
23. FATHER: That’s it.  Don’t forget your footwork…
24. HERBERT: Ungh!
25. SOUND: BODY DROP –
26. FATHER: Damn it, Herbert.  I told you to keep your guard up.  Your brother’s got a wicked left.
27. HERBERT: Dad, I hate you!
28. FATHER: Good.  Maybe you can use it to help you win!
29. (BEAT)
30. MITCHELL: (FADE UP) At least he seems to care about your progress.
31. HERBERT: Care.  All he does is ride me all day.
32. MITCHELL:  Well he ignores me.  Every time I do well, nothing.  If I do something badly, still nothing.  What makes you so important?
33. HERBERT:  I don’t know.  I’m not sure I can keep this up.  I need to get out of here.  Away from him.
34. MITCHELL: It wouldn’t be safe… and you know it.
35.  (BEAT)
36. FATHER: Try again.  Like we’ve been practicing.
37. SOUND: TWO SHOTS – LET IT FINISH.
38. FATHER:  That’s it.  You’re hitting the target at least.
39. SOUND: CROSS FADE INTO CLASHING STEEL – UNDER
40. FATHER: That’s the way.  Don’t let the point through your guard.  If you can just start to take the offensive…
41. SOUND: PUMMELING, GRUNTS, ETC. – COME TO A STOP– THEN PANTING
42. FATHER: Good.  Again.
43. (BEAT)
44. HERBERT: Dad, it’s been years.  We’ve moved three times.  They’ve got to have forgotten about us by now.
45. FATHER: We’re not going to let our guard down now.  They’re never going to give up.
46. HERBERT: But Dad…
47. FATHER: Come on.  You know the drill.  Steady, aim, fire.
48. HERBERT: (SULLEN) Fine.
49. SOUND: TWO SHOTS.
50. FATHER: Bulls eye! (BEAT) Mitchell? You ready to have a go.
51. MITCHELL: I’m done.  I’ve had enough for today.
52. SOUND: CROSS FADE INTO CLASHING STEEL – UNDER
53. SOUND: SLIDE OF BLADE ALONG BLADE TO THUMP ON HILT
54. FATHER: Argh!
55. SOUND: BLADE CLATTERS ONTO FLOOR – UNDER.
56. FATHER: (TRIUMPHANT) Yes!  You disarmed me.  Well done, Herbert.
57. MITCHELL: (FURIOUS) To Hell with this!
58. SOUND: BLADE THROWN TO FLOOR.
59. SOUND: DOOR SLAMS
60. HERBERT: (BEWILDERED) Mitchell?
61. SOUND: CROSS FADE INTO BODY BLOWS AND HERBERT AND MITCHELL GRUNTING
62. SOUND: FIGHT BELL
63. FATHER: And the bout goes to Herbert on points.  Well done.
64. MITCHELL: No! (ONE LAST GRUNT OF EFFORT) Ugh!
65. SOUND: BODY BLOW
66. HERBERT: (IN PAIN) Ungh!
67. SOUND: BODY DROP – HERBERT FALLS
68. HERBERT: (BEAT) What the hell?  The bell’s rung already.
69. MITCHELL: (UNREPENTENT) Sorry.  I guess I just slipped.
70. FATHER: (ANGRY) Mitchell, get out of the ring!
71. HERBERT: Stop it, Dad.  I’m fine.
72. MITCHELL: I don’t need you to fight my battles, Herbert.
73. HERBERT: I wasn’t.  I was just…
74. MITCHELL: Taking the chance to pick another fight with Dad.  Right.  To Hell with you!

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2022 

The post Passing The Time appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War

EPISODE #5 – Wrack and Ruin

by Philip Craig Robotham

Cover illustration by Philip Craig Robotham

Copyright 2022 Philip Craig Robotham

Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) Edition.

This play is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) International license. This play may not be commercially reproduced, performed, or sold.   Non-commercial production, performance, and reproduction are allowed under this license so long as attribution is maintained.  No derivative content or use is allowed.  It can be freely shared in its current form (without change) under this license.  If you would like to purchase one or more copies of this work (for your own personal non-commercial use, or to help financially support the author) then please return to https://www.weirdworlstudios.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Other works by this author can be found at the author’s website: https://weirdworldstudios.com or through select, online book retailers.

Episode 5: Wrack and Ruin

Mort Flintwich considers himself a charlatan… but he can see ghosts – real ghosts. Claudette Moreland is a kid with a supernatural gift. And a gangster named Caesar Cordova wants to use her to win a gang war. Star City is getting stranger.

Wrack and Ruin

CAST LIST

MORT FLINTWICH

JAKE SPENCER

CAESAR CORDOVA

MADAM SOFIA MALEFICENT

LILLY MORELAND

CLAUDETTE MORELAND

WU CHENG

OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING

BRUNO

JULIO

SANCHO

LITTLE GIRL IN TRAFFIC

JIMMY

STAN

CHARITY COLLECTOR

DOCTOR

RECEPTIONIST

WAITRESS

CUSTOMER #1

CUSTOMER #2

WOMAN (KNOCKED OVER BY LILLY AND SANCHO)

MRS HARGREAVES

POLICEMAN #1 (WHO DIES)

POLICEMAN #2 (AT WAREHOUSE)

POLICEMAN #3 (AT WAREHOUSE)

SCRUG

SCRAT

OUTWORLDER #3

OUTWORLDER CAESAR

OUTWORLDER (RIVAL TO THE SPOKESBEING)

OUTWORLDER MINION (KILLED WITH SWORD ON STREET CORNER)

OUTWORLDER MINION (ATTACKING LILLY)

OUTWORLDERS

GANGSTER SPOKESMAN

GANGSTERS

OUTWORLDER LEADER

SFX ARTISTS

SCENE 31: INT – CAESAR CORDOVA’S HEADQUARTERS – EVENING
(OUTWORLDER CAESAR, MORT, JAKE, SOFIA, CLAUDETTE, LILLY, THUGS)

1. MUSIC: OPENING THEME – LET IT FINISH.
2. NARRATOR: Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War, Episode 5: Wrack and Ruin.
   It’s 1934 and Star City is a depression-era town gripped by unemployment and crime, but in its shadows a hidden and desperate war for the future of the human race is coming to a close.
   Previously:
   Crime-boss, Caesar Cordova, has won the gang war, but has also been possessed by outworlders, creatures from another dimension, that wish to open a gate to allow their species to invade the earth.
   Mort Flintwich, a medium-for-hire who pretends to be a charlatan, has discovered a spell that might help defeat the outworlders and sets out to rescue Jesse (his kidnapped and currently comatose childhood friend) with the help of mother and daughter; Lilly and Claudette Morland.
3. SOUND: ECHOING FOOTSTEPS OF TUNNEL – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
4. MORT: (WHISPERING) Ok, mind your heads. These tunnels are rough. We’re nearly there.
5. LILLY: Mort, how’d you even know about this way in? I’d never heard of it.
6. MORT: These are bootlegging tunnels. They were once used for a smuggling operation.
7. LILLY: And now?
8. MORT: Now, Lil? Now they’re used for moving people without being seen.
9. LILLY: At least they don’t smell like the sewers. More loamy, you know? But I don’t understand why I never knew about them.
10. MORT: You always came publicly, as a guest or employee. The time I was brought in, it was because Cordova wanted to kill me and wanted it to be anything but public.
11. CLAUDETTE: How’d you get out of that?
12. MORT: (SMUGLY) I was very smart, Claudette. Let’s just say I’d made arrangements to release material that would have sent Cordova to the electric chair if I were to disappear.
13. LILLY: That’s a dangerous game to play with the likes of Cordova.
14. MORT: I was playing for my life. (BEAT) Look there’s the basement. Up the stairs is a kind of back-hallway beside some more stairs leading to a balcony over the foyer.
15. LILLY: Got it.
16. MORT: Lilly, you and Claudette head up there. I’m gonna take a more direct route in. Do you remember what you have to do?
17. CLAUDETTE: I’ve got it under control.
18. MORT: I’m sure you have. Stay safe and stay out of sight.
19. SOUND: FEET ON STAIRS (LILLY AND CLAUDETTE) – FADING.
20. MORT: Okay, here goes.
21. JAKE: You know, this is pretty brave, Mort.
22. MORT: Are you still here, Jake?
23. JAKE: Where else would I be? It’s not like ghosts have better things to do than watch you get into trouble.
24. MORT: Yeah, well. I don’t do brave. You know that.
25. JAKE: Correction. You don’t do smart. Smart would involve being anywhere but here right now. Brave and stupid. That’s you, my friend.
26. MORT: Thanks for the pep-talk. It’s been a big help.
27. JAKE: No problem.
28. MORT: You’re not worried about going in here with me? The outworlders eat ghosts, you know?
29. JAKE: Finally, you’re willing to acknowledge–
30. MORT: Seriously Jake? This is more proof that you’re not a ghost. I doubt they are any threat to you at all.
31. JAKE: I’ll be fine, but not because I’m not a ghost. I know how to stay out of sight of those things.
32. MORT: Yeah, yeah. But something’s not right.
33. JAKE: Huh?
34. MORT: I fell like I’m missing something. Like I almost realized something and let it slip away.
35. JAKE: You mean like trying to figure out who is behind Cordova?
36. MORT: Damn it. That’s it!
37. JAKE: You’re welcome.
38. MORT: Cordova’s not smart enough for this. And there’s no way he could have learned magic so fast on his own. He was mundane a month or two ago.
39. JAKE: It hardly matters now. Even if you did know who was behind it all, you’d still be going ahead with this, wouldn’t you?
40. MORT: I guess so, but I’ve got no idea what kind of backup he may have in place.
41. JAKE: Too late now.
42. MORT: Yeah. The girls will already be in position.
43. JAKE: Okay I’m hiding now. Don’t forget the sword. If it holds any magic against these things, you’re gonna need it.
44. SOUND: SWORD BEING DRAWN – LET IT FINISH
45. MORT: (DEEP BREATH) Okay. Let’s go kill some monsters.
46. SOUND: DOOR PUSHES OPEN – LET IT FINISH.
47. SOUND: DOZENS OF GUNS COCKING – LET IT FINISH.
48. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Welcome, Mr Flintwich. Come inside. We’ve been expecting you.
49. MORT: (GROANS) That tears it. (BEAT) (BRAZENING IT OUT) Mr. Cordova. I love what you’ve done with the place. The corpses are a ghoulish touch.
50. OUTWORLDER THUG: Smart guy, huh?
51. MORT: They don’t quite match the marble floor and columns, though. Too much red. (BEAT) No-one have the time to take ’em outside?
52. SOFIA: Hello, Mort. It’s nice to finally meet you. I see you’ve been taking care of Claudette for us.
53. MORT: Who the hell are you? No, don’t tell me. You’re the one who’s been pulling the Mob-Boss’ strings.
54. SOFIA: (SARCASM) Why, Mr. Flintwich, what could you mean? Mr. Cordova is the one in charge.
55. CLAUDETTE: I’m sorry Mort, they grabbed us as soon as we got to the top of the stairs. Granny betrayed us.
56. MORT: Granny?
57. OUTWORLDER GANGSTER: Shut up you little cow.
58. SOUND: HARD SLAP AND BODY DROP – LET IT FINISH.
59. CLAUDETTE: WHIMPERS IN PAIN.
60. MORT: You’ll pay for that you son of a…
61. SOUND: STRUGGLE, SOME BLOWS – LET IT FINISH.
62. MORT: Ugh! (GASPING FOR BREATH) Damn… you–
63. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: There is nothing you can do, mortal. We have you, and while you don’t have the kind of power this girl has, you have enough to make you useful in our ritual.
64. MORT: What are you going to do to me?
65. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: We will drain you like a battery. (TO THE OUTWORLDER MINIONS) Tie him up and put him on the outside edge of the circle opposite her.
66. OUTWORLDER GANGSTER: And what of the woman? What shall we do with her?
67. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Put her where the girl can see her, beside the man. If the girl refuses to cooperate, slit the woman’s throat.
68. CLAUDETTE: Mom!
69. LILLY: (COUGHING) Don’t worry about me, Claudette. It’ll be alright.
70. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (LAUGHING) Oh no it won’t. But I’m feeling merciful. I won’t destroy you until after you’ve seen the ruin you have brought upon the face of the earth. (TO HIS MINIONS) Search them!
71. OUTWORLDER GANGSTER: Not much here. The girl has a pocket full of paper flowers. The man is carrying a pair of swords. What do you want us to do with them?
72. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Burn the flowers. Pathetic shrivelled things. Mockeries of life and just as fragile. As for the swords… Pah. They are no threat to us. Toss them in the corner.
73. OUTWORLDER GANGSTER: Yes, Master.
74. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (TO MORT) Before I forget, Mr. Flintwich. It appears that we are holding a friend of yours, Jesse I believe.
    (TO SCRUG) You!
75. OUTWORLDER GANGSTER #2: Master?
76. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Go upstairs and kill the vegetable.
77. LILLY AND MORT: No!
78. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Ah, delicious. Your concern for each other is so easily transmuted into fear. Tasty.
79. LILLY: (COUGHING) Claudette, don’t cooperate!
80. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: What? You’d risk your life, the life of your child, for this… thing? Who is this person that you would die to protect her? She is barely more than a corpse. She’s so deep inside her own mind, she has almost no brain activity!
81. LILLY: Don’t cooperate Claudette. Don’t do it!
82. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Start cutting the mother’s throat.
83. CLAUDETTE: If you touch her, I’ll never help you. Never!
84. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (ANGRY) You defy me! You think you can bargain with me? (LAUGHING) But what’s a few minutes when balanced against control of this world’s future?
85. SCRUG: Master?
86. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (TO SCRUG) Leave the thing, Jesse, in the bed upstairs for now. (TO SOFIA) Witch! Where is the book?
87. SOFIA: Mort has brought it with him. Allow me to get it for you, master.
    (TO MORT) You poor little man, Flintwich. Playing the hero, putting together the clues, setting out to thwart our plans, and failing to achieve any of your goals.
88. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Stop gloating. There will be time for that later.
89. SOFIA: (GRUNTS PULLING BOOK FROM MORT’S HANDS) Ungh. Here, I’ve got it. Let’s bring about the end of the world!
90. MUSIC: TIME PASSING SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

ACT 3

SCENE 32: INT- CAESAR’S HEADQUARTERS – ALMOST MIDNIGHT
(OUTWORLDER CAESAR, MORT, JAKE, SOFIA, CLAUDETTE, LILLY, OUTWORLDER GANGSTERS)

91. LILLY: I’m freezing.
92. MORT: Yeah. This many outworlders in one spot will do that.
93. LILLY: What? Lower the temperature?
94. MORT: Yeah.
95. LILLY: (BEAT) So…?
96. MORT: So, what?
97. LILLY: (SARCASTIC)So, do you come here often? (BEAT)What do you think? (BEAT THEN EMPHASISING) How are we going to get out of this mess?
98. MORT: The hell if I know.
99. LILLY: Don’t you have a plan?
100. MORT: My plan involved breaking in here with magical swords, backed up by some powerful magical artillery on the balcony, and slicing and dicing my way through a bunch of alien monsters before anyone was the wiser.
101. LILLY: Great plan.
102. MORT: What can I say? I’ve got no gift for strategy.
103. LILLY: You idiot. We waltzed in here at the exact time Cordova was expecting us. They must have read his memories.
104. MORT: Though I’m not sure I could be expected to know they could do that.
105. LILLY: (COUGHING) We’ve handed them Claudette. They’ll be able to invade without anyone to stop them. We’ve doomed the damn world.
106. MORT: Are you wishing you’d agreed to stay behind with Claudette now?
107. LILLY: I can’t believe I started to think you were smart. (BEAT) We’re going to die if you don’t come up with something. (STARTS COUGHING BADLY).
108. MORT: Easy Lilly, I’m working on it.
109. LILLY: (RECOVERING) Mort, something’s happening.
110. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (TO SOFIA) The midnight hour approaches, witch. Is all in readiness?
111. SOFIA: Almost. Is there a reason you want to recreate the spirit trap that Cordova created with his original gate rather than allowing your brethren through unfettered?
112. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Do you presume to question me?
113. SOFIA: No, only it takes more power to contain them than it would to let them in.
114. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Of course. You are smarter than you look… (BEAT) and correct, I do not merely want to bring my fellows through into this realm.
115. SOFIA: Why not? There would be great reward for the one who achieves it.
116. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: True, but I would be enslaved by the masters once more, and having been cut off from their compulsions, I am enjoying my freedom.
117. SOFIA: And you wish to be a master yourself?
118. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Yes, exactly. I will release them when the existing masters pledge their allegiance to me.
119. SOFIA: And then…?
120. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Then I will rule as their emperor.
121. SOFIA: (BEAT) I see. A dangerous gamble. They will turn you inside out if your plan fails.
122. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: It won’t. And if it even looks like it might, you will be the first to die.
123. SOFIA: (BEAT) Then Master, you should know that Cordova didn’t align the mirrors properly. They will need to be aligned across the circle he inscribed on the floor.
124. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (SUSPICIOUS) What? I find no trace of this in his mind.
125. SOFIA: Of course not. The fool did not wait for me before he attempted the ritual. He guessed at my instructions. The gate could not be held open and stabilised, as you know. Set your minions to the task.
126. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Do you presume to give me orders, witch?
127. SOFIA: Never, master. But you would do well to follow my… advice. See the way it directs the magical energy away from the center of the circle. It cannot work in its current form.
128. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Hmmm. Minions, do as she… “advises”.
129. OUTWORLDER GANGSTERS: Yes, master.
130. SOUND: BUSTLE AND ACTIVITY – ESTABLISH UNDER AND STOP
131. SOFIA: (STAGE WHISPER) Alright, Mort, while their attention is elsewhere… I’m loosening your bonds. Here, take this paper.
132. SOUND: CRUMPLED PAPER BEING PRESSED INTO SOMEONE’S HAND – LET IT FINISH.
133. SOFIA: When the time comes, read it aloud. The swords are behind you and to the left.
134. MORT: (ANGRY REPLY STAGE WHISPER) And why should I do anything you ask?
135. SOFIA: Because, if you do, there’s a chance we may all live to see the dawn. And if you don’t we’ll all die.
136. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: What are you doing over there, witch?
137. SOFIA: (TO MORT) Take this, pig!
138. SOUND: FACE SLAP – LET IT FINISH.
139. MORT: Ugh!
140. SOFIA: Petty little charlatans like you, trading on your thimble full of power, always irritate me.
     (TO OUTWORLDER CAESAR) Are you sure you won’t let me have this one for a little while after the ceremony, master? I would so enjoy wiping that defiant expression off his weasel face.
141. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Be silent. You are lucky I’m willing to honour our agreement and leave you with your life.
142. SOFIA: You need me.
143. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Only if the circle holds.
144. SOFIA: And if it doesn’t?
145. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: The new arrivals will kill you. I can only protect you if the circle holds and they are bound to my will.
146. SOFIA: The circle will hold. (BEAT) Ugh! Hey!
147. OUTWORLDER GANGSTER: Look out, witch.
148. SOUND: RATTLE OF CANDLESTICK – UNDER AND FINISH.
149. SOFIA: Get out of my way, oaf! I need to get into position.
150. LILLY: (STAGE WHISPER) What is she doing? I can’t see.
151. MORT: (STAGE WHISPER) (AMAZED) She’s… she’s misaligning the candles and mirrors. I think she’s betraying Cordova, or whatever that thing inside him is. (STRUGGLES A MOMENT, GRUNTING WITH EFFORT ETC.) I’m loose!
152. LILLY: Don’t trust her. Everything she’s doing is aimed at saving her own skin. Now get me loose too. (BEAT) Mort?
153. MORT: Lilly… I…
154. LILLY: Mort, no!
155. MORT: I’m going to go with her plan.
156. LILLY: But…
157. MORT: Think about it. What will we do if we run for it? Claudette is under heavy guard, there are at least 12 of his possessed lieutenants in here and they’ve all got guns – genuine solid guns from our solid human reality.
158. LILLY: It’s too risky.
159. MORT: And in a little while, there will be even more of those monsters flooding into our world. This is our best chance.
160. LILLY: But you don’t know who she is, or even if she’s telling the truth.
161. MORT: True, but I think I can make a guess. There are rumours about a crazy old Romany woman in Star City. Goes by the name of Madame Sofia. She’s supposed to be able to see the future.
162. LILLY: Even if she is this woman, what does that prove? She handed us over to Cordova. She’s on that monster’s side.
163. MORT: Perhaps. But she’s messing with the ritual, sabotaging it. I think it’s our best shot.
164. LILLY: Well, if you get us killed, I’m going to rip you apart.
165. MORT: (AMUSED) Oh, really?
166. LILLY: Oh, shut up. (STARTS COUGHING)
167. MORT: Jake? You there?
168. JAKE: I’m here.
169. MORT: Jake? Where…? Oh. What are you doing in the floor?
170. JAKE: If I pushed my face through a wall, I’d be far more noticeable.
171. MORT: Uh… fine. Listen, I want you to get out of here.
172. JAKE: What? You just called me.
173. MORT: I mean it. Go. Now. There’s going to be so much wild energy flying around in here soon that if you are a real ghost, there’s a good chance it’ll destroy you.
174. JAKE: Nothing doing, boss.
175. MORT: What?
176. JAKE: I’m sticking with you. It’s time you got your proof, one way or the other.
177. MORT: Jake…
178. JAKE: If I’m not real and you get offed tonight, then that’s curtains for me anyway, right?
179. MORT: But…
180. JAKE: No, I’m not going anywhere.
181. MORT: Damnit. Years of sneaking about, and tonight you decide to grow a spine.
182. JAKE: Yeah, I love you too, Mort. See ya.
183. LILLY: (PANTING SLIGHTLY) Talking to one of your ghosts again?
184. MORT: Maybe.
185. SOUND: CLOCK STARTS STRIKING MIDNIGHT – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
186. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: It’s time. Witch! Let the ritual begin.
187. SOFIA: Little girl, begin reading your part now, if you want your mother to live. Master? You must join in too.
188. CLAUDETTE, SOFIA, AND OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (CHANTING) Zinnia, Alstroemeria, Trachelium, Cyclamen, Ranunculus, Hypericum, Phalaenopsis, Dee.
189. SOUND: BAMF! – LET IT FINISH.
190. MORT: Something’s happening.
191. LILLY: A circle of blue light is opening up in one of the mirrors.
192. MORT: It’s a portal. They’re coming through.
193. SOUND: WHOOSHING – LET IT CONTINUE UNDER.
194. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Witness my victory, mortals. I bring my kind back to your world as conquerors. (EVIL LAUGH) Muahahahaha! See how they pour through into the circle.
195. TRAPPED OUTWORLDER LEADER: You have done well, minion.
196. SOUND: ELECTRICAL ZAP! – LET IT FINISH.
197. TRAPPED OUTWORLDER LEADER: But what is this barrier? Remove it so we can renew our ties of loyalty. Great reward I bring you for completing this service.
198. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I think not, “former” master. I am free and you are fenced behind that wall of power. If you ever wish to know freedom yourself, you will promise fealty to me and to my brood.
199. TRAPPED OUTWORLDER LEADER: (OUTRAGED) You dare to seek MY enslavement?
200. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Yours and that of those other masters who follow you. I control this gate and the barrier that surrounds it. I can keep you enclosed here for eternity.
201. TRAPPED OUTWORLDER LEADER: Think you so? When enough of us are here we will be able to break through.
202. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I don’t doubt it, but it will take millennia. And you will be forced to feed off each other in the mean-time, reducing our already depleted numbers to a level our race may never recover from.
203. TRAPPED OUTWORLDER LEADER: You threaten starvation?
204. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I do. And meanwhile there is an entire world out here full of tasty souls for the taking. I am happy to wait. I doubt if these creatures will even exist in another ten thousand years – without us to farm them properly.
205. TRAPPED OUTWORLDER LEADER: And you think I will be swayed by the short term gain?
206. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Yes, I do. Why play the long game, when a simple promise of fealty will grant you freedom? You won’t even lose your supremacy over your broods.
207. TRAPPED OUTWORLDER LEADER: So, you are determined to enslave your betters.
208. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I will hold ultimate sway, but I will leave you your bases of power. And all in exchange for a simple little… (BEAT) Wait, what is that? A second portal is opening in the remaining mirror. It’s…
209. SOUND: BAMF! – LET IT FINISH.
210. SOUND: RUSHING WIND SOUND INCREASES
211. SOFIA: (TRIUMPHANT) It’s dragging those who are coming through the first portal out and into another plane. A stronger one. Where the walls between our worlds are not so thin. Mort, Claudette, now!
212. MORT, CLAUDETTE AND SOFIA: Narcissum, Ranunculous, Protea, Trachelium!
213. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You… cannot do this! The girl! The girl is powering this spell, but her flesh is… weak and tired! I am going to destroy her!
214. CLAUDETTE: Mort!!!?
215. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: No. (STRUGGLING) No. I will not be…
216. SOUND: TEARING AS CAESAR AND THE OUTWORLDER SEPARATE. – LET IT FINISH.

*The two voices outworlder spokesbeing and Caesar are separate once more from this point.

217. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: Why can’t I raise my gun?
218. CAESAR: You’re growing weaker and I won’t let you, that’s why. We’re separating, monster. No more will you rule over the body of Caesar Cordova!
219. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: You may be strong, insect, but the same cannot be said for your minions and they are still under my control. (TO OUTWORLDER MINIONS) Destroy the girl.
220. OUTWORLDER MINION: I am close enough to finish the male off, master. I will kill him for you.
221. LILLY: Not if I can trip you up, you won’t.
222. OUTWORLDER MINION: Ugh!
223. SOUND: POSSESSED GANGSTER TRIPS AND FALLS WITH A THUD – LET IT FINISH
224. CLAUDETTE: Mom! The rest of them are almost on top of me!
225. SOFIA: (HURRIEDLY) Be dispossessed of these mortal bodies, fiends. Begone. Mort… Claudette… help me finish the ritual.
226. MORT, CLAUDETTE, AND SOFIA: Trachelium, Cyclamen, Hypericum, Dee.
227. SOUND: BAMF AND WOOSH OF DISPOSSESSION – LET IT FINISH.
228. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: No! I am betrayed! Aaaa-aaargh!

*The voices of outworlders and Cordova’s henchmen separate from this point on.

229. OUTWORLDERS: (AD LIB) Master! We have been cast out! We are loose! Etc.
230. GANGSTERS: (AD LIB) Boss! What’s happened? Are we okay? Etc.
231. CORDOVA: You men, get out of here, now!
232. GANGSTERS: (AD LIB) Sure. You got it. Yeah. I ain’t gonna argue with that. Etc.
233. SOUND: DEPARTING FEET – LET IT FINISH.
234. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: You have cast me out, but if I am free of this body, I am also free once more to kill the girl.
235. CLAUDETTE: Mort, help!
236. MORT: Run for it, Claudette!
237. CLAUDETTE: I can’t. I’m powering the portal spells. I can’t leave the circle’s edge.
238. MORT: I’ll grab the swords.
239. SOUND: SWORD BEING DRAWN – LET IT FINISH.
240. MORT: You’re not getting past me, monster.
241. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: You may be able to halt me for a moment, but what about the rest of us? Can you prevent my minions from overwhelming you?
242. SOFIA: Barrethion Formis!
243. SOUND: BAMF – LET IT FINISH.
244. OUTWORLDERS: Master, the witch has trapped us. She has placed a wall of force in our path. We cannot get through.
245. SOFIA: They cannot approach and aid you now, monster. You are alone.
246. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: You think I am trapped in here with you? No, mortal. You are trapped in here with me. I’m not a physical part of this reality. But I can still affect it… like this…
247. SOUND: RIPPING OF FABRIC – LET IT FINISH.
248. MORT: SCREAMS IN PAIN. Aaargh!
249. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: Is it worth it? Protecting the weak little girl? Suffering like this?
250. MORT: Ugh! Toying with me, monster? She’s worth 20 of you and you’ll regret giving me the chance to get this close to you. Take that…
251. SOUND: FLESHY SQUELCH OF SWORD DRIVEN INTO MONSTER – LET IT FINISH.
252. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: (GASPS)What? It… penetrates. It… hurts.
253. MORT: More importantly… Ugh…
254. SOUND: SWORD BEING RIPPED FREE – LET IT FINISH
255. MORT: It’s a polished iron weapon and it kills your kind… but right now it can… (GRUNTS) force… (GRUNTS) you back… (GRUNT) into the circle.
256. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: The portal has me in its grip!
257. MORT: Why isn’t it sucking you through?
258. LILLY: (COUGHING) It’s still anchored to its brood. The barrier that kept them from attacking you is holding them in place and their connection to the one you’re fighting is keeping it from being sucked into the portal.
259. SOFIA: That’s easily fixed. Barethium Terminus!
260. SOUND: BAMF – LET IT FINISH
261. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: No! Nooooo! (FADING WAIL)
262. LILLY: That’s it! They are all being pulled through.
263. OUTWORLDER MINION: No. I’m being dragged. But I can still take one of you with me, mortal.
264. LILLY: No!
265. SOUND: TEARING – LET IT FINISH
266. LILLY: It’s got me! Ugh! Its claws are cutting into me.
267. CORDOVA: Hang on. I have you! I won’t let go.
268. OUTWORLDER MINION: Can you anchor her against the combined pull of my brood, mortal?
269. MORT: Cordova, the sword. Catch! (GRUNTS) Ungh!
270. CORDOVA: (GRUNTS AS HE CATCHES IT) Ugh. Here, monster… take this!
271. SOUND: THRUST OF SWORD INTO SOMETHING SOFT AND WET – LET IT FINISH.
272. LILLY: (RELIEF AS IT LETS GO) Ahh.
273. OUTWORLDER MINION: (SCREAMS – FADING WAIL) Aaaaaaaargh.
274. SOUND: TEARING SOUND WITH SPLASHING DRIPS – UNDER.
275. SOUND: MAGICAL BAMF – LET IT FINISH.
276. MORT: (IN PAIN BRIEFLY) Ugh! What now?
277. SOFIA: Everyone get back. Some of Lilly’s blood has fallen inside the circle.
278. MORT: And–
279. SOFIA: Blood changes magic. The circle is starting to expand and suck things from our world through.
280. LILLY: But Claudette’s on the circle’s edge.
281. CLAUDETTE: Granny, the portal’s got me! MORT: Hang on Claudette. Here I come.
282. CLAUDETTE: (SCREAMS WITH FRIGHT) Argh!
283. MORT: (BEAT) Ugh! Got you!
284. SOUND: BODIES THUMP TO FLOOR! – LET IT FINISH
285. CLAUDETTE: Mort, you’re bleeding. Are you okay?
286. MORT: I’m fine, but your mom needs help and the portal is widening. Get back!
287. SOUND: ROARING WIND INCREASES – UNDER
288. SOFIA: (SHOUTING ABOVE WIND) Wait. We have to close the portal. Turn over the paper. You and Claudette need to read the ritual on the back with me.
289. SOUND: FLUTTER OF PAPER – FADES
290. MORT: (CALLING BACK) No! Damn it. It’s gone. It got ripped from my hand and went through.
291. CLAUDETTE: What does that mean?
292. MORT: It means we have to run for it.
293. SOFIA: You can’t run. That portal will continue to expand. It will swallow the entire planet.
294. MORT: Then what? Stay here and die?
295. SOFIA: I… I don’t know. I…
296. MORT: Call out the words. We’ll repeat them after you.
297. SOFIA: But…?
298. MORT: We have to say the words, right? It’s the best chance we’ve got!
299. SOFIA: Alright, here goes… The first three words are Felis, Gerridae, Acynonix!
300. JAKE: Mort! I’m caught in the pull of the portal. I can’t… Aaaargh! (FADING WAIL)
301. MORT: Wait. No! Jake got pulled through.
302. SOFIA: Mort, we don’t have time. Felis, Gerridae, Acynonix.
303. MORT: We need to keep the gate open. I have to get Jake.
304. SOFIA: We can’t, Mort.
305. SOUND: RIPPING, TEARING, SQUEALCH OF PREDATOR COMING THROUGH.
306. LILLY: What the hell is that?
307. SOFIA: It’s the thing from the mirror dimension. The one that has been destroying the outworlders.
308. LILLY: It’s huge and it’s trying to get in.
309. CLAUDETTE: Stop it! It’s tearing at my brain. (IN PAIN) Aargh!
310. SOFIA: Mort, there’s no time. Say the words; Felis, Gerridae, Acynonix. (BEAT) Mort, say them!
311. MORT: Alright, damnit!
312. MORT, CLAUDETTE, SOFIA: Felis, Gerridae, Acynonix.
313. SOUND: EVERYTHING STARTS RUMBLING AND CRASHING – UNDER
314. SOFIA: Quickly! The last words are Gliridae, Chilopoda, Esox.
315. MORT, CLAUDETTE, AND SOFIA: Gliridae, Chilopoda, Esox!
316. SOUND: SHOOP NOISE ENDING THE STORM OF NOISE – LET IT FINISH – ESTABLISH THE SILENCE FOR A MOMENT
317. LILLY: (LONG BEAT) Is that it? Is it over?
318. MORT: Yes. The compulsion is broken. I’m free of Jenny’s blood debt. But Jake… Jake’s gone. (BEAT) He was real.
319. SOUND: CLAUDETTE’S RUSHING STEPS – LET IT FINISH
320. CLAUDETTE: (HAPPY TEARS) Granny! I knew you were good. I knew it!
321. SOFIA: Easy, little one. These old bones aren’t used to being crushed in a bear hug.
322. CLAUDETTE: Sorry, Granny!
323. LILLY: You two know each other?
324. SOFIA: Um… Yes… well…
325. CAESAR: I hate to interrupt your revels, but Lilly is hurt.
326. LILLY: The wound’s bloody, but it’s not deep. I’ll be fine once I get a bandage on it. (TO CORDOVA) Why’d you have to be the one to (STARTS COUGHING) save me. I still want to kill you for threatening Claudette.
327. MORT: (TO CORDOVA) You! This was all your fault, Cordova.
328. SOUND: GUN COCKS – LET IT FINISH
329. CAESAR: Easy, Mr. Flintwich. This gun is a precaution. I’d hate for you to do something stupid now that you’ve helped save the world.
330. MORT: Damn you. What do you intend to do with us?
331. CAESAR: I do not intend to do anything with you. Stay still. No, don’t be afraid. All I really want is to ask you to leave my house and never come back.
332. LILLY: Huh?
333. CAESAR: I owe you a debt. Rescuing me from the control of that thing… I am grateful.
334. SOFIA: You have what you wanted, Caesar. As I promised. Your rivals are gone.
335. CAESAR: Are you going to take credit for this… catastrophe, Sofia?
336. SOFIA: In a way, yes. The world behind the mirrors was leaking into our own. It was a matter of time before they found their way here in force.
337. LILLY: But if you…
338. SOFIA: The barrier between our worlds was too weak. They had to be sent… somewhere else, somewhere stronger.
339. LILLY: The second portal.
340. SOFIA: Exactly. But the rituals required were strong and needed powerful active individuals to enact them.
341. LILLY: You set Cordova after my daughter?!
342. SOFIA: To save the world? Yes. Yes, I did.
343. LILLY: Why you–?
344. CLAUDETTE: Mom, don’t. Granny wouldn’t have hurt me.
345. SOFIA: Er… no… I guess I wouldn’t have. But that’s not a good thing, Claudette. I can’t let myself… feel… for anyone. Not if I’m going to do what I need to.
346. CLAUDETTE: But you do feel something for me, don’t you, Granny? I can tell.
347. SOFIA: Yes, I guess I do, sweetie.
348. CLAUDETTE: Me too.
349. MORT: How could you stage-manage all this? It’s not possible.
350. SOFIA: I can’t stage-manage anything. I see the pathways of the future. That’s my gift.
351. MORT: But that’s not enough. I’m nobody’s puppet.
352. SOFIA: All the possible futures and roads spread out before me. I try to arrange things so that particular paths are followed and others are excluded.
353. MORT: But even so?
354. SOFIA: Most paths were converging on the destruction and enslavement of the human species to those Outworlders. I tried to tip the scales.
355. MORT: And you could see our futures?
356. SOFIA: No. I see the futures of mundane people, those who don’t have magical gifts. I could see the futures available to the mob bosses (Tommy Boscone and Dillon Tremere)… my apologies, you prefer to refer to each other as businessmen, yes?
357. CAESAR: Yes.
358. SOFIA: I could see their futures. But the futures of the rest of you were a blur and where theirs intersected with yours, that blurred things further. Much of what I have done was based on guess work and hope.
359. CLAUDETTE: In the end, you saved us.
360. CAESAR: You have taken many risks, and the price has been… high.SOFIA: I’m sorry, Caesar. But your choices were behind your biggest losses (your men… your eyes…) but you would be dead now without them. They were… necessary.
361. CAESAR: I cannot deny that I owe you a debt. But I also cannot stand the sight of you. Others who have tried to use me in the past have paid a high price for their presumption.
362. SOFIA: Do not think there isn’t a price I will have to pay for my meddling… but yes, you are right. I have manipulated all of you. It is my burden.
363. CAESAR: (DISMISSIVE) The burden of a meddlesome old woman!
364. SOFIA: And Caesar, for you it is not yet over. The sight you now have, along with your position as the leader of the city’s crime syndicates now that Boscone and Tremere are dead, puts you in a unique position.
365. CAESAR: I am not going to be your plaything, Sofia.
366. SOFIA: Your debt to me will be paid with interest, since I am making you this city’s guardian.
367. CAESAR: Debt? What rubbish is this? By what authority do you presume to direct my actions?
368. SOFIA: I don’t presume. The things which have happened in recent weeks have weakened the barriers between worlds, we have prevented one threat from coming through, but there are others and it will be your job to meet and neutralize them. The price, you might say, of being a survivor.
369. CAESAR: Bah! I will repair the ruins of my mansion. I will dispose of all these bodies. I will even threaten your lives so that this is never spoken of again. And, though I am better for this city than the bosses that are gone, I remain a criminal. I operate outside the law for my own enrichment and… now that I have sole control of the city… I am beholden to no-one, least of all you, witch.
370. SOFIA: As you wish. But when the time comes, you will be ready to stand. (BEAT) As for the rest of us, we should go. You are going to have a lot to do.
371. LILLY: Madame Sofia?
372. SOFIA: Yes?
373. LILLY: There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask. It’s about… my magic. Everyone says I’ve got some.
374. SOFIA: Mmmm. You do. But…
375. LILLY: But?
376. SOFIA: Not all magic is beneficial. Sometimes, if it is not controlled, it can have terrible results.
377. LILLY: I don’t understand.
378. SOFIA: When was the last time you were ill (before this recent business, I mean)?
379. LILLY: I don’t know.
380. CLAUDETTE: I don’t remember mom ever being sick.
381. SOFIA: (TO CLAUDETTE) Perhaps you should go have a talk with Mort while I discuss this with your mother.
382. MORT: (TO CLAUDETTE) Come on sweetie. It’ll be alright.
383. CLAUDETTE: Okay.
384. LILLY: This seems a little ominous.
385. SOFIA: I thought you would prefer not to talk about the fact you are dying in front of your daughter.
386. LILLY: How is it that everyone seems to know that…
387. SOFIA: I’m guessing you haven’t been ill since your daughter was born.
388. LILLY: I haven’t had time to be sick. There was just me to look after her. Wait, are you saying this has something to do with magic?
389. SOFIA: You’ve been suppressing illness magically for at least twelve years.
390. LILLY: I’ve been what?
391. SOFIA: It’s your gift. But you haven’t known how to use it. All you’ve done is suppress the symptoms, while the illnesses themselves have remained trapped in your body – unable to be processed.
392. LILLY: I don’t understand.
393. SOFIA: The doctor told you he’d never seen so many pathogens in a living person, didn’t he.
394. LILLY: Yes, but… How did you know that?
395. SOFIA: You’ve been collecting them, suppressing them with your magic. They’ve become so numerous that your body, and your magic, can’t contain them anymore.
396. LILLY: (HOPEFUL) But if it’s magical, can’t I…?
397. SOFIA: I’m sorry, no. There is too much damage and the realisation of what’s happening has come too late. No-one can prevent you from dying at this point.
398. LILLY: But…
399. SOFIA: I’m sorry, Lilly.
400. LILLY: (BITTER) Yeah, well. Everybody’s sorry about something.
401. CLAUDETTE: (APPROACHING) Mom?
402. LILLY: (PULLING HERSELF TOGETHER) Yes, sweetie.
403. CLAUDETTE: This must all have seemed pretty strange to you; the magic and monsters and everything, I mean.
404. LILLY: You’ve no idea.
405. CLAUDETTE: And I know you try your best. That you want to keep me safe.
406. LILLY: Honey?
407. CLAUDETTE: I want you to know that I love you… and that I’m grateful… and that I understand and don’t care that you’re not perfect. You’re my mom and you always will be.
408. LILLY: Oh, sweetie, what brought this on?
409. CLAUDETTE: We all could have died , and I wanted to make sure…
410. LILLY: I love you too, kid. Come on, let’s get out of here. (TO MORT) Mort, can we stay at your place for a little while?
411. MORT: Huh? Sure. And you’re right. It’s time we went. Cordova, are we good?
412. CAESAR: Is our agreement still in place?
413. MORT: So long as you don’t go off half-cocked and assume I’ve broken it.
414. CAESAR: Then, yes. We are… “good”.
415. MORT: Then I’ll arrange for Jesse to be returned to her hospital.
416. CAESAR: No.
417. MORT: What?
418. CAESAR: Jesse stays here. I will see to her care. Don’t worry, it will be the best that money can buy. But you are too unpredictable and I think it would be best for everyone if she remains under my protection.
419. MORT: After everything we’ve… You bastard!
420. CAESAR: We are not friends, Mort. Brief allies at best. Whatever the case right now, I know you ache to see me put in a cage. I am protecting my interests.
421. LILLY: (COUGHING) Leave it, Mort. He will look after her. Whatever else he does, he keeps his word.
422. CAESAR: I will let you know what hospital I place her in… so you can visit.
423. MORT: You win for now. But this isn’t over, Cordova.
424. CAESAR: I wouldn’t imagine so. But we’ll see. The care that I can provide your Jesse will exceed your own and, though you won’t believe it, I owe you something for your part in ending the invasion.
425. MORT: (UNIMPRESSED) Hmpf. (BEAT) What about you, Sofia? There’s some food at my place.
426. SOFIA: Er… no!
427. CLAUDETTE: Pleeeease. Mom’s a great cook.
428. SOFIA: Hmpf! (GRUFFLY) I guess I could use a hot meal.
429. MORT: Okay, let’s go.
430. SOFIA: Oh, and Mr. Cordova?
431. CORDOVA: Mmmm?
432. SOFIA: I’m leaving you your cat.
433. SOUND: CAT’S MIAOW – LET IT FINISH.
434. SOFIA: Feed her. She’s hungry.
435. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 33: INT – KITCHEN OF THE SAFE HOUSE – PRE-DAWN
(MORT, SOFIA, LILLY, AND CLAUDETTE)

436. SOUND: CUTLERY, PLATES ETC. – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
437. CLAUDETTE: Did you like it, Granny?
438. SOFIA: It’s food. You learn not to be too picky.
439. CLAUDETTE: I helped Mort make it.
440. MORT: And a good job you did too.
441. SOFIA: (PETULANT) You said your mother would cook.
442. CLAUDETTE: We can do lots of useful things like that, can’t we mom?
443. LILLY: Claudette…
444. SOFIA: And I bet you’d be pretty comfortable here too, wouldn’t you Granny? There’s lots of room.
445. MORT: Claudette…
446. CLAUDETTE: I’m sure Mort wouldn’t mind, would you Mort?
447. MORT: Now, Claudette, Madame Sofia might have other things she needs to do.
448. LILLY: You can’t invite a bunch of strangers into Mort’s life, Claudette.
449. CLAUDETTE: Why not? We all get along. And we make a good team. Why can’t I invite us all to be together?
450. LILLY: Well… it’s…
451. SOFIA: It’s alright, Lilly. I can’t stay, Claudette. I can’t.
452. CLAUDETTE: Don’t you want to, Granny?
453. SOFIA: Oh, child. You don’t know how much I want to.
454. CLAUDETTE: But…
455. SOFIA: You’re too young to understand, but I’ll try to explain. I can’t stay because I want to. Because I’m old and tired of being alone and not having somewhere to call home. Because I want to stay with you and enjoy your smiles and heart-aches and watch you grow.
456. CLAUDETTE: But that’s great…
457. SOFIA: But if I stay, I’ll be tempted to neglect my other job… an important job. And maybe I won’t neglect it right off, but over time I’ll start to be scared of the risks, of what I might have to lose if I did what I have to do.
458. CLAUDETTE: No.
459. SOFIA: I’d tell myself I was doing it out of love for you, Claudette. But actually, I’d be acting selfishly.
460. CLAUDETTE: No, Granny. That’s not true.
461. SOFIA: You’re saying that because you want it to be a lie. But the truth isn’t like that. It isn’t what we want it to be. It just is.
462. LILLY: If Sofia’s going to do her job, she has to go.
463. SOFIA: And I have to do my job, Claudette. A lot of people – more than you could count – need me to.
464. CLAUDETTE: But…
465. SOFIA: Give me one of your flowers, Claudette.
466. CLAUDETTE: Um… okay. Here.
467. SOFIA: I’m going to keep it with me, alright. To remember you.
468. CLAUDETTE: I’m going to miss you, Granny.
469. SOFIA: It will be all right, Claudette. You’re going to be fine. (TO MORT) Won’t she, Mort?
470. MORT: Huh? I’m sorry… I was thinking about…
471. CLAUDETTE: Were you thinking about Jake, Mort?
472. MORT: Yeah, I guess I was. I saw him get sucked through that portal.
473. SOFIA: No, you didn’t.
474. MORT: What?
475. SOFIA: You were right all along. Jake was something your brain came up with to help you deal with shutting down and repressing your gifts.
476. MORT: But I thought…
477. SOFIA: Even though some ghosts are invisible to some folks, we should all have been able to see and hear him during the casting of that spell. The magic was too strong for him to remain invisible, but you were the only one who could see him.
478. MORT: How do you even know about my gifts and how I use them?
479. SOFIA: I picked you, Mort. There’s not much I don’t know about you. Jake was in your head and now that you’re using your gifts again, he’s gone… like I need to be. Can I put Claudette to bed on my way out Lilly?
480. LILLY: Uh, sure.
481. SOFIA: Come on Claudette. Say goodnight. You need some sleep.
482. CLAUDETTE: Goodnight mom. Goodnight Mort.
483. SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES – LET IT FINISH
484. MORT: You’ve been pretty quiet since we got back Lil. I hate to say it, but it’s 4:15 in the morning and you look done in. Maybe we should hit the hay too.
485. LILLY: In a minute, Mort. There are things to talk about.
486. MORT: It’s okay, Lil. You and Claudette can stay here as long as you like.
487. LILLY: No, I need to know something, Mort. I need to know if you think you could love Claudette?
488. MORT: (ANNOYED) Look, Lil, I know you’re afraid of her getting hurt. And I can see how quickly she attached herself to Madame Sofia, but you need somewhere to stay and you can’t…
489. LILLY: It’s not that. It’s… I’m dying, Mort. You know that. And I’ve got nowhere else to turn. Claudette needs someone who understands her, understands her and her gifts.
490. MORT: Hang on, Lil.
491. LILLY: She needs someone who will be willing to take care of her in good times and bad. And, Mort, my time’s coming soon. Sofia told me she can’t see my path but it’s clear I haven’t got long. I know I’ve got no right to ask… not after what I kept from you about… what I did to you over Lilly, the real Lilly.
492. MORT: Lil, it’s okay. I…
493. LILLY: But that’s part of the reason I’m asking. You’ve always been looking out for me. Even during those years that I was gone. In all the years since you thought you found me. Please, Mort. There’s no one else to…
494. MORT: Lilly, stop.
495. LILLY: I’m sorry. It’s not a grift, I swear. I… I had to ask, that’s all.
496. MORT: No, you don’t understand, Lil. Jesse’s gone. She’s been gone a long time. She died in that house they took you to. She died there and transformed into Lilly. She had to become Lilly to survive. And you have. You survived it all.
497. LILLY: (STARTS TO SOB) Don’t look at me!
498. MORT: But Jesse…, Jesse would know deep down. She’d know that you never have to ask. Not me. Don’t be so sure I don’t have my own Lilly. My own mask hiding the eight year old Mort who lost you all those years ago. Jesse would never have to ask the boy under that mask.
499. LILLY: What? But?
500. MORT: We’ve changed Lil. A lot of water has passed under the bridge, but you don’t have to ask about this. I’ll take care of her. I’ll love her. And I’ll protect her and help her.
501. LILLY: Oh, Mort. Thanks.
502. MORT: But we don’t have to face this yet, do we? I mean, can’t the doctors do something for you. Treatment or…
503. LILLY: Sure. But I don’t want it. It would mean a long time in hospital and in the end it wouldn’t work. I don’t want to put Claudette through that. I don’t want her to see that.
504. MORT: She loves you, Lil. It’s not brave to hide it and try to face it alone. It’s…
505. LILLY: I know that, damnit! (BEAT) And I’m not brave. I haven’t got the courage to share this with her. I haven’t got the courage to fight a losing battle. I can’t. I won’t. (STARTS COUGHING)
506. MORT: Easy, Lil. Easy. We can talk about this in the morning.
507. LILLY: (COMPOSING HERSELF) No wait. Here, I’ve got some paper work. I’ve been carrying it around with me… not knowing how I was going to…
508. MORT: Paperwork? What kind of paperwork?
509. LILLY: Guardianship papers.
510. SOUND: PAPER UNFOLDING – LET IT FINISH
511. LILLY: I have to put your name here.
512. SOUND: PEN SCRATCHING – LET IT FINISH
513. LILLY: And get you to sign it… here.
514. MORT: (BEAT)
515. LILLY: Don’t get cold feet now, Mort. Not after you made that pretty speech.
516. MORT: I won’t. I… Promise me you won’t give up Lil. We can go through this together.
517. LILLY: Mort, it’s always been easy for you to see the right thing to do. You play at being above right and wrong. But underneath you’re such a boy-scout. Let’s not talk about this until tomorrow, huh? For tonight, sign the papers so I can rest easy.
518. MORT: Alright, Lil.
519. SOUND: SCRATCHING OF PEN – LET IT FINISH
520. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH
521. SOFIA: She’s in bed and asking for you, Lil.
522. LILLY: Did you say goodbye?
523. SOFIA: She’ll cry herself to sleep for a bit, but yes, I did. I think she’ll understand.
524. LILLY: Okay. Look after yourself. I’ve never met a real Romany before.
525. SOFIA: Not many have. The true Romany are rare and getting rarer.
526. MORT: You know you would be welcome to stay.
527. SOFIA: That’s nice of you to say Mort, but you’ve got enough on your plate if that document on the table is what I think it is. Goodnight to you both.
528. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 34: INT – KITCHEN – MORNING
(MORT, CLAUDETTE)

529. SOUND: FRYPAN, COOKING NOISES – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
530. CLAUDETTE: (YAWNING) Good morning.
531. MORT: Morning. I hope you like flapjacks. We’re pretty much out of everything else.
532. CLAUDETTE: Yum. Is mom up yet?
533. MORT: I haven’t seen her. But we should let her sleep.
534. CLAUDETTE: Okay. What’s this?
535. MORT: Hmmm?
536. CLAUDETTE: There’s a letter on the table. It’s addressed to me.
537. MORT: I don’t know. It must have been put there during the night. Did Sofia leave it behind?
538. CLAUDETTE: No. It’s mom’s handwriting.
539. SOUND: ENVELOPE BEING TORN OPEN – LET IT FINISH
540. SOUND: LETTER BEING UNFOLDED – LET IT FINISH.
541. CLAUDETTE: Oh, no!
542. SOUND: RUNNING CLAUDETTE FOOTSTEPS – FADE.
543. CLAUDETTE: (AT A DISTANCE) Mom! Mom! Oh, no! Please! Mom!
544. MORT: What? Claudette?
545. CLAUDETTE: (RETURNING) She’s gone. Really gone. She’s left her flower behind. She’s left us.
546. MORT: Let me see that letter…
547. LILLY: (FILTERED ECHOING) Dear Claudette,
     I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to tell you to your face. I’m sick. So sick that I can’t take care of you anymore. So sick that I have to leave. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve this. Sometimes life is cruel.
     I have to go, but I’ve left you with Mort and he’ll take care of you. He won’t understand why I’ve gone either. But he’s a good man and he cares about you and won’t let you down.
     Please believe me when I say this isn’t your fault. I love you so much. Too much.
     I hope you can forgive me, one day.
     – Mom.
     P.S Tell Mort this isn’t his fault either.
548. MORT: Damn it, Lil! (BEAT) Claudette!
549. CLAUDETTE: Mort?
550. MORT: (GENTLY) Come here. Oh, Claudette. I’m so sorry.
551. CLAUDETTE: We’ve got to find her.
552. MORT: We’ll try.
553. CLAUDETTE: Don’t leave me alone.
554. MORT: I won’t. Your mom asked me to take care of you, and I will. She signed papers making me your guardian.
555. CLAUDETTE: Did you know she was going to do this?
556. MORT: No. I knew she was sick, and that it was going to get worse. I knew she was dying…
557. CLAUDETTE: Dying!!?
558. MORT: She should have told you, Claudette. And she was scared. (BEAT) But I promise you, I didn’t know she was going to leave.
559. CLAUDETTE: She kept saying she was fine. But I didn’t believe her. She always says things are fine when they aren’t. (BEAT) Are you going to leave?
560. MORT: No.
561. CLAUDETTE: Promise.
562. MORT: Yes. If you want to stay with me. Do you?
563. CLAUDETTE: Do I have to call you Dad?
564. MORT: No. Mort’s fine.
565. CLAUDETTE: Good. That would feel weird. (BEAT) Okay, yes. I want to stay with you. When do we start looking for mom?
566. MORT: As soon as you’ve had some breakfast. She’s only got a couple of hours head start.
567. CLAUDETTE: Where will we look?
568. MORT: Can you feel where she is? Get a vision?
569. CLAUDETTE: No. Granny told me all those things I said I saw with visions. She made me promise not to say where I learned them so I pretended I had visions to convince mom she needed to trust you.
570. MORT: Oh. (BEAT) Claudette, this is important. If this is going to work, you can’t lie to me. Not ever. Do you understand?
571. CLAUDETTE: Alright.
572. MORT: As for finding your mom. I think there’s someone I can see, but it’s going to cost me a favour or two. And there are some things I have to sort out.
573. CLAUDETTE: To stop from being placed under a spell?
574. MORT: Yeah.
575. CLAUDETTE: It worked out last time. Can’t we go right away?
576. MORT: No. It nearly didn’t work out last time. So, we’re going to do this right.
577. CLAUDETTE: Okay. Do it right. But I want to go, now.
578. MORT: After breakfast. (BEAT) Eat!
579. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 35: EXT – STREET – MORNING
(MORT, CLAUDETTE)

580. SOUND: TRAFFIC, ETC. WALKING – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
581. SOUND: DOOR CLOSING – LET IT FINISH.
582. MORT: Well that didn’t go well.
583. CLAUDETTE: Huh?
584. MORT: The bank thinks I’m dead – that I died in the explosion at my office. All my accounts have been frozen. They wouldn’t give me any money.
585. CLAUDETTE: What’s that mean?
586. MORT: It means I’ve got nothing except the seventy-five cents in my pocket until I can prove I’m alive.
587. CLAUDETTE: How do you do that?
588. MORT: It’s not something I’ve ever had to do before, so I’ve got no idea. We’ll have to wing it, I guess.
589. CLAUDETTE: We’ll be fine.
590. MORT: I’m glad you think so.
591. CLAUDETTE: It’s always like this… after a war.
592. MORT: Huh?
593. CLAUDETTE: I’ve read books.
594. MORT: Uh-huh.
595. CLAUDETTE: Yeah, there’s always a price paid by the people who fight it. (BEAT) The people who stay behind… they don’t realise. But the ones who fight… and live… they pay a price. They always pay a price.
596. MORT: You’re a wise kid, Claudette. Do you think it’s ever worth it? The price?
597. CLAUDETTE: Yeah, when it’s about survival. Maybe some people don’t deserve the chances they get, but lots of people are just people, trying to live and get by as best they can.
598. MORT: And it doesn’t bother you that they don’t know?
599. CLAUDETTE: They mightn’t ever know what we did or be grateful… but it was still worth it. And on some days, when the sun’s out, you can’t help feeling a bit hopeful; like, maybe, people are worth saving.
600. CHARITY WORKER: (APPROACHING) Donations! Donations! Anything for charity, Mister. The soup kitchens could use anything you can spare.
601. MORT: Here.
602. SOUND: MONEY BEING DROPPED IN TIN – LET IT FINISH.
603. CHARITY: Bless you, Mister. (FADES)
604. CLAUDETTE: How much did you give them.
605. MORT: My last seventy-five cents.
606. CLAUDETTE: But…
607. MORT: Like you said, we’ll be fine.
608. CLAUDETTE: Hey I know how we could make some money… once we get mom.
609. MORT: Yeah, how’s that?
610. CLAUDETTE: Mom taught me the ring hustle… and the friendship bracelet. We could lift a few wallets that way?
611. MORT: Sheesh, kid. You should be in school, not running hustles on the street.
612. CLAUDETTE: Mom gave up sending me to school two years ago. I kept getting kicked out.
613. MORT: Why’s that?
614. CLAUDETTE: I kept reading my teachers’ minds. It scared them too much.
615. MORT: I get that. I think it’d scare me too if you could read mine. But I’m going to talk to your mom about putting you back in school when we find her.
616. CLAUDETTE: Why? I can read, and I’m good at numbers.
617. MORT: There’s more to an education than reading and arithmetic. I want you to get a proper chance in life.
618. CLAUDETTE: Ugh. School. (BEAT) I don’t know why I can’t read your mind. It’s weird not knowing what you think.
619. MORT: Maybe it’s like Madame Sofia said. Maybe our gifts only work on ordinary people.
620. CLAUDETTE: What’s your gift, Mort?
621. MORT: I can talk to dead people.
622. JAKE: You most definitely can.
623. MORT: Jake! (TO CLAUDETTE) Jake’s back.
624. JAKE: Still think I’m a figment of your imagination?
625. MORT: I saw you get sucked through that portal, and here you are. Not a scratch on you. So, yeah. I think you’re in my head.
626. JAKE: And I saw you put your last couple of quarters in that charity tin. Nothing’s ever what it looks like. If I’m not real, why am I back?
627. MORT: I don’t think I need you anymore, Jake. I think… I think this is goodbye. I’m pretty sure I won’t be seeing you again after this.
628. JAKE: You think so, huh? We’ll see. For now I’m gonna stick around and watch over the little one with you. I think your gonna need my help. At least until we find her mother.
629. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH

SCENE 36: EXT – A DIMENSION FAR FAR AWAY – SOME TIME
(SCRAT, SCRUG)

630. SOUND: SORTING THROUGH RUBBLE. FLAMES AND PAIN FILLED WAILING IN BACKGROUND – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
631. SCRAT: I hate this place. It’s colder and darker than even the last world. There aren’t even stars.
632. SCRUG: The walls are thicker, too. There are no windows here. No way to see into other worlds.
633. SCRAT: And we are still slaves, doing the bidding of our masters.
634. SCRUG: Be careful what you say. See the way the rebels have been dealt with?
635. SOUND: BRIEFLY FADE UP THE WAILING AND BACK DOWN – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
636. SCRUG: They are being carved up to create music for our masters, a symphony of pain designed to last a thousand years.
637. SCRAT: Bah! Why should I care? They were stupid and have received the compensation they were due. There is no food here. No souls to feed on. It won’t be long before we are eating each other again, like in the worst of times past.
638. SCRUG: It is our way. To the strongest of us go the spoils.
639. SCRAT: And today our task is gathering up the elements of “contamination” that came through the portal with us on behalf of our “betters”.
640. SCRUG: A task you would do well to concentrate on more fully.
641. SCRAT: Bah! Gathering trinkets to burn for our “fearful” leaders, so embarrassed by their failures that they wish to gather and destroy the evidence against the possibility that future generations might know of their humiliation.
642. SCRUG: (FEARFUL) Lower your voice!
643. SCRAT: We should be sifting this material. Trying to learn what we can so that we can one day return and be revenged on the mortals who put us here.
644. SCRUG: Pretty words. But nonsense. Do your job.
645. SCRAT: Hmmm. What’s this?
646. SCRUG: Some paper. Throw it on the fire.
647. SCRAT: Paper. Yes. A paper with words on it. Words of power. Ritual words.
648. SCRUG: We have our orders.
649. SCRAT: You are a fool. This paper is too valuable to burn. It might be the very thing we are looking for.
650. SCRUG: It’s going on the fire.
651. SOUND: PAPER IGNITES AND BURNS – LET IT FINISH
652. SCRAT: You imbecile. Do you have any idea what you have done?
653. SCRUG: I’ve done my job.
654. SCRAT: Your job? You’ve doomed us all. I am going to kill you.
655. SCRUG: No. No! You are not… Aaaargh!
656. SOUND: WET SLICING NOISE FOLLOWED BY CHOMPING NOISES – LET IT FINISH.
657. SCRAT: Delicious.
658. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.
659. NARRATOR: And so, gentle listener. Our story comes to an end… for now. We do hope you’ve enjoyed it.
660. MUSIC: CLOSING THEME – LET IT FINISH.

THE END.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Philip Craig Robotham grew up in a house full of books and has held numerous jobs as a teacher, computer programmer, graphic and web designer, an e-learning consultant and, most recently, writer. He currently lives in Victoria, Australia with his wife and two sons. When he was younger and fitter he enjoyed martial arts, but in recent years his hobbies have tended towards more sedate fare (board games, movies, books, and role-playing games).

He is extremely grateful for the encouragement he receives from his biggest fans — his wife and two boys — all of whom read and enjoy his scripts and, in general, make his life worth living.

You can contact the author regarding performance rights (or simply to say hello) through his website: https://www.weirdworldstudios.com.

THE END

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This post and all its content is copyright © 2013 Philip Craig Robotham and has been released under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) license. This play cannot be reproduced, shared, or performed commercially without the written permission of the author.  The production of derivative content, merchandise, or creative works and materials is expressly forbidden under this agreement. However you may share, reproduce, and perform this play freely so long as authorship is acknowledged, no money changes hands, and the play is not modified in any way.

The post Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War – Episode 5 – Wrack and Ruin appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War

EPISODE #4 – The Center Won’t Hold

by Philip Craig Robotham

Cover illustration by Philip Craig Robotham

Copyright 2022 Philip Craig Robotham

Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) Edition.

This play is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) International license. This play may not be commercially reproduced, performed, or sold.   Non-commercial production, performance, and reproduction are allowed under this license so long as attribution is maintained.  No derivative content or use is allowed.  It can be freely shared in its current form (without change) under this license.  If you would like to purchase one or more copies of this work (for your own personal non-commercial use, or to help financially support the author) then please return to https://www.weirdworlstudios.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Episode 4: The Center Won’t Hold

Mort Flintwich considers himself a charlatan… but he can see ghosts – real ghosts. Claudette Moreland is a kid with a supernatural gift. And a gangster named Caesar Cordova wants to use her to win a gang war. Star City is getting stranger.

The Center Won’t Hold

CAST LIST

MORT FLINTWICH

JAKE SPENCER

CAESAR CORDOVA

MADAM SOFIA MALEFICENT

LILLY MORELAND

CLAUDETTE MORELAND

WU CHENG

OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING

BRUNO

JULIO

SANCHO

LITTLE GIRL IN TRAFFIC

JIMMY

STAN

CHARITY COLLECTOR

DOCTOR

RECEPTIONIST

WAITRESS

CUSTOMER #1

CUSTOMER #2

WOMAN (KNOCKED OVER BY LILLY AND SANCHO)

MRS HARGREAVES

POLICEMAN #1 (WHO DIES)

POLICEMAN #2 (AT WAREHOUSE)

POLICEMAN #3 (AT WAREHOUSE)

SCRUG

SCRAT

OUTWORLDER #3

OUTWORLDER CAESAR

OUTWORLDER (RIVAL TO THE SPOKESBEING)

OUTWORLDER MINION (KILLED WITH SWORD ON STREET CORNER)

OUTWORLDER MINION (ATTACKING LILLY)

OUTWORLDERS

GANGSTER SPOKESMAN

GANGSTERS

OUTWORLDER LEADER

SFX ARTISTS

SCENE 22: INT – CAESAR’S HEADQUARTERS – MIDNIGHT
(CAESAR, OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING/ OUTWORLDER CAESAR, BRUNO)

1. MUSIC: OPENING THEME – LET IT FINISH
2. NARRATOR: Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War, Episode 4: The Center Won’t Hold.
   It’s 1934 and Star City is a depression-era town gripped by unemployment and crime, but in its shadows a hidden but desperate war for the future of the human race has begun.
   Previously:
   Mort Flintwich, a medium-for-hire who pretends to be a charlatan, finds Lilly and Claudette Moreland, two women hunted by the crime-boss Caesar Cordova, and takes them to his safe-house.
   Cordova attempts to summon monsters – outworlders – from another dimension to help him win the gang war he is embroiled in and sends them after his enemies.
   Mort, Lilly and Claudette, escape the outworlder attack and the outworlders prepare to hunt down Cordova himself.
   Meanwhile, Cordova waits with some trepidation for news regarding the progress of his war.
3. SOUND: MURMUR OF GANGSTER VOICES IN BACKGROUND AT CORDOVA’S HQ – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
4. BRUNO: Thanks, Javier. I’ll let the boss know.
5. SOUND: PHONE HANGING UP – LET IT FINISH
6. BRUNO: Boss, the phones are running hot. I’ve got reports from all over the city.
7. CAESAR: How are we doing?
8. BRUNO: Boscone and Tremere… Their whole operation… It’s falling apart. The bosses themselves are confirmed dead. We are mopping up their men.
9. CAESAR: It sounds like victory is approaching.
10. BRUNO: Boss, you did it. We’ve won.
11. CAESAR: Not yet, we haven’t. This is good, but the creatures we set loose in the city–?
12. BRUNO: What do you mean?
13. CAESAR: If they can do this to Boscone and Tremere’s organisations in one night, what else will they do when they are free?
14. BRUNO: But they’re doing what you want, right?
15. CAESAR: I haven’t tested my power to control them yet. I think it would be better to send them back, instead.
16. BRUNO: I’d rest easier without things like that in the world. Can it be done?
17. CAESAR: Maybe. You heard the gypsy woman. Without the girl, Claudette, we don’t have the power we need to control them. We’ve got to push them back through that door we created.
18. BRUNO: But that door’s gone. It collapsed.
19. CAESAR: I know. We have to open it again. And this time I have to push the ones that came here back while making sure no others come through at the same time.
20. BRUNO: Sounds tricky, boss. What do you need?
21. CAESAR: I always could rely on you, Bruno. Get those mirrors set up again. And make sure the candles are lit.
22. BRUNO: Anything else?
23. CAESAR: Marble’s too easy to scuff, so we need to check that the magical circle is still complete – no gaps. I need to make sure I get the words right, too. They will start arriving back here soon.
24. BRUNO: Sure boss.
25. SOUND: WHOOSHING, HOWLING APPROACHING – ESTABLISH UNDER AND STOP AT 27
26. CAESAR: Too late. Here they come.
27. SPOKESBEING: Oh, human. You disappoint me.
28. CAESAR: Why’s that, monster?
29. SPOKESBEING: It took a Chinese emperor with three times your power and ability to banish us from the earth the first time… and you’re trying to do it here?
30. CAESAR: Lets just say we’re highly motivated.
31. SPOKESBEING: I can’t work out whether you’re brave, reckless, or too ignorant and stupid to be allowed to live. Perhaps you’re all three.
32. BRUNO: Hey, monster, you can’t talk to the boss that way.
33. SPOKESBEING: I’ll speak any way I want to. In fact, the only thing I can’t do is this. I can’t abide mewling meat-sacks that don’t know their place.
34. BRUNO: (GASPS) Urk.
35. SPOKESBEING: (TO CORDOVA) Do you think you’ll miss this man when I kill him? Hmmmm? Let’s find out–
36. CAESAR: No!
37. SOUND: WET TEARING NOISE – LET IT FINISH
38. SOUND: TWO WET THUMPS – LET IT FINISH
39. CAESAR: Bruno!
40. SPOKESBEING: Oh, you will miss him. I guess you feel it’s a pity I tore him apart. Well, it’s too late now.
41. CAESAR: I’m going to kill you monster. I’m going to… urk!
42. SPOKESBEING: You’re going to hold your tongue, weakling. And if you don’t, I may take it for a trophy. There are far worse things I can do to you than kill you, you know?
    In fact, can you feel that? That’s me sliding into your brain–
43. CAESAR: No–
44. SPOKESBEING: …taking over this ridiculous piece of meat you call a body–
45. CAESAR: (WEAKENING) No–
46. SPOKESBEING: Possessing you.
47. CAESAR: (LAST DITCH EFFORT) No! I… must… resist. I must… call for… (FILTERED WITH REVERB) Help!
48. SOUND: MAGICAL BAMF! – LET IT FINISH
49. OUTWORLDER CAESAR*: Oh, you did have some power, didn’t you? But almost no idea of how to use it. Minions?

*(THE TWO VOICES – CAESAR AND THE SPOKESBEING – SPEAK SIMULTANEOUSLY AS ONE TO CREATE THE OUTWORLDER CAESAR’S SPEECH)

50. SCRAT: Master!
51. SCRUG: Yes, Master!
52. OUTWORLDER #3: What is your bidding?
53. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: This weakling is more interesting than I thought.
54. SCRAT: Master?
55. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I’m looking around inside his head and… oh my… he’s a leader, with lots of troops at his command. He’s fighting me but… perfect!
56. SCRAT: What have you found?
57. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: He has a family he wants to protect. If you want them to survive long enough to be eaten last, human… Well, then you had better stop fighting me. (BEAT) Ah! That’s more like it. I see you understand.
58. SCRUG: What are your orders, master?
59. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (TO SCRAT) There is a woman upstairs and unconscious. She is being kept as leverage over that human who vanished. Keep her for now – her usefulness is not yet over.
60. SCRAT: Is there anything else of use to us?
61. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (BEAT) Oh yes, we can use this Caesar Cordova… and… Oh, dear! This is too delicious. He sent out a powerful summons across the city for aid. Everyone in the city who has abilities will have received it. BWAHAHAHAHA!
62. SCRUG: Why are you laughing, master?
63. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Most of the weak ones will come. They won’t be able to help themselves.
64. OUTWORLDER #3: But master–
65. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Idiots! Don’t you see. They are weak. And they are coming right to us. The most delicious food in the city is coming right to us!
66. OUTWORLDERS: (LAUGHING) BWAHAHAHAHA!
67. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 23: EXT – STREETS OF STAR CITY – PRE-DAWN
(MORT, LILLY, CLAUDETTE, JAKE)

68. SOUND: HUM OF STREET LAMPS, DISTAT SIRENS, OCCASIONAL DISTANT CARS – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
69. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS (MORT, LILLY, AND CLAUDETTE) HURRYING ALONG STREET – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
70. LILLY: (COUGHING) It sounds like the city’s on fire.
71. MORT: Something’s wrong. Those sirens are everywhere, not just the warehouse.
72. LILLY: Where do those things come from?
73. CLAUDETTE: The outworlders? They come from somewhere else. Somewhere not our world.
74. LILLY: (SCOFFING) Like another planet?
75. CLAUDETTE: No. More like another space. A cold place. Dark… and scary.
76. LILLY: This isn’t the time to let your imagination run wild, Claudette.
77. MORT: No, I think she’s right. They’ve been arriving for a while… growing in numbers.
78. CLAUDETTE: There have never been this many of them before?
79. MORT: Ah-huh. Like I said, I think this is Cordova’s doing. He’s done something to let them in. I hope he can send them back once they’re done.
80. CLAUDETTE: He can’t.
81. MORT: How do you know?
82. CLAUDETTE: Remember what they said at the warehouse? About being too powerful to send back. I don’t know how I know, but I know they’re right.
83. LILLY: Mort, you can’t take everything Claudette says at face value.
84. MORT: Huh?
85. CLAUDETTE: Mom!
86. LILLY: She never lies deliberately. But she does convince herself of things that aren’t true and then–
87. CLAUDETTE: Mom… I’m not–
88. SOUND: MAGICAL BAMF – LET IT FINISH.
89. MORT, LILLY, AND CLAUDETTE: (GROAN IN SUDDEN SIMULTANEOUS PAIN)
90. MORT: Not again!
91. CLAUDETTE: Mr Cordova’s trying to send them back.
92. MORT: I don’t think it’s working, though.
93. LILLY: Your noses. They’re bleeding again!
94. MORT: Yours too.
95. CORDOVA: (ECHOING) Help!
96. CLAUDETTE: We have to go!
97. MORT: Claudette, no!
98. LILLY: What? What’s happening?
99. CLAUDETTE: (URGENT) We have to go! Now!
100. MORT: No, Claudette. Resist the summons.
101. LILLY: (GETTING ANGRY) Claudette, stop this!
102. CLAUDETTE: (PANICKED) No, I have to go.
103. SOUND: CLAUDETTE STARTS RUNNING – UNDER
104. MORT: Stop! Damnit!
105. SOUND: MORT RUNS – UNDER UNTIL [107].
106. SOUND: STRUGGLE – UNDER UNTIL [108]
107. MORT AND CLAUDETTE: (AD LIB) GRUNTS, No! Got you! Etc.
108. SOUND: BODY DROP – LET IT FINISH
109. MORT AND CLAUDETTE: (GRUNT).
110. LILLY: You crash tackled my daughter!
111. MORT: Stay still, Claudette. The urgency will pass.
112. CLAUDETTE: But I have to–
113. MORT: Ow! My face.
114. CLAUDETTE: Get off… you–
115. LILLY: Claudette! What’s happening?
116. MORT: The compulsion. It’s fading. (TO CLAUDETTE) Easy, now. Are you okay?
117. CLAUDETTE: (BREATHING HEAVY) Yes. I think so. It’s easing off.
118. LILLY: What’s easing off? Someone tell me what’s going on?
119. MORT: Sorry, Lil. Cordova sent out a… a kind of psychic summons. Claudette wasn’t able to resist.
120. LILLY: He tried to take my little girl– magically?
121. MORT: Sort of. I don’t think it was targeted. I got it too.
122. LILLY: So why weren’t you–?
123. MORT: I’m older, and we’re a fair way away from its source… and I’m more practiced at resisting.
124. LILLY: And me? I didn’t feel anything.
125. MORT: Are you sure about that?
126. LILLY: Of course, I’m–
127. MORT: You’re bleeding again.
128. CLAUDETTE: Um… and you’re pretty heavy.
129. MORT: What? Oh, sorry Claudette. Here, let me help you up.
130. LILLY: Oh, Mort. Your face. Claudette scratched you.
131. MORT: Hmmm? Wow. Blood. You want to do something about those nails, kid.
132. CLAUDETTE: (MORTIFIED) I’m so sorry.
133. MORT: Don’t worry about it. I can give you a pass. You saved our bacon back in the sewers after all… but I’m glad you missed my eyes.
134. LILLY: I’m getting too old for this! All I want is a shot at Cordova – one clear shot… And you… You’re not what I thought. I’ve been expecting you to take off. Instead you let my daughter gouge a hole in your face.
135. MORT: Yeah, well. I can afford the makeover. My looks have never been my strong point.
136. LILLY: (HEAVY COUGHING)
137. MORT: Easy, Lil. Chinatown isn’t much further.
138. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 24: INT – WU CHENG’S HOUSE – MID MORNING
(MORT, CLAUDETTE, LILLY, JAKE, WU)

139. SOUND: WINDOW RAISES – LET IT FINISH
140. LILLY: (COUGHING) Seriously, Mort? Going in by the window?
141. MORT: No-one was answering the door. Besides, Claudette can barely stand up. We need to get off the street.
142. LILLY: I told you we should have rested.
143. MORT: Yeah, yeah. Come on. (BEAT) Claudette, give me your hands honey.
144. CLAUDETTE: Yawns.
145. MORT: That’s it. In you come. (BEAT) Now you, Lil.
146. LILLY: I can climb in myself, thank you.
147. MORT: I never said you couldn’t.
148. SOUND: CRASH – LET IT FINISH.
149. LILLY: Ugh! Ouch. (BEAT) If either of you so much as smile, I’m gonna rip your throats out. And I don’t care if I did give birth to one of you.
150. MORT: Never crossed my mind.
151. CLAUDETTE: Swear.
152. LILLY: (GETTING UP) What the hell happened here?
153. MORT: What do you… oh!
154. CLAUDETTE: This place is trashed.
155. LILLY: It still looks more like a medium’s den than your office did, Mort. Tapestries, masks hanging on the wall, candles. The wreckage of that table’s even got a crystal ball in it.
156. MORT: Damn. It looks like those things must have hit here too. (BEAT) But that doesn’t make sense.
157. LILLY: How so?
158. MORT: Well, from what we’ve been able to figure out, those creatures were sent after Cordova’s enemies. I doubt he’s ever even heard of Wu!
159. SOUND: MUFFLED CRASHING AND BANGING – LET IT FINISH
160. LILLY: What the?
161. CLAUDETTE: Mom? Mort? I’m scared.
162. MORT: It’s all right. It came from over here. (BEAT) Does this wall seem a little… dense to you?
163. LILLY: (COUGHS) I’m pretty sure it’s not normal for a doorway to be a foot and a half thick.
164. MORT: Tug on that candle holder for me, would you?
165. LILLY: This?
166. MORT: Yeah, that?
167. SOUND: SQUEAK THEN GRINDING OF WALL OPENING – LET IT FINISH
168. WU CHENG: (EXAGGERATED ACCENT) Ah, honorable one’s, I am your humble servant, Wu Cheng. How may I help you?
169. MORT: Well, well. Fancy finding you here, Wu… and drop the showmanship, we’re not tourists.
170. WU: (DROPPING THE ACCENT) Hmmm. Mort Flintwich. Good to see you. (BEAT) Are those shoes around your shoulders covered in… blood?
171. MORT: Uh-huh. Long story. What’s with the hidden compartment in the wall?
172. WU: Meh. I was hiding. What does it look like?
173. MORT: It looks like the kind of thing us charlatans use to listen in on, and observe, our clients before we begin a session.
174. WU: What can I say? Real ghosts have been getting more and more scarce. I have to pay the bills. (BEAT) And I know that you’re no charlatan, by the way, Flintwich. No matter what you say.
175. MORT: Yeah, well. Do me a favour and keep it under your hat. I won’t mention this to anyone and we’ll call it even.
176. LILLY: Well, it’s nice to see you boys know each other. (COUGHING) But I need to give Claudette somewhere to sit down.
177. WU: And you don’t look too well yourself, Ma’am.
178. LILLY: Hey!
179. WU: But I don’t have any furniture handy… having broken most of mine up. Feel free to scrape some aside and sit on the floor.
180. MORT: Ever the gracious host.
181. WU: Hey, you broke into my house, not the other way around.
182. MORT: And why’s it look like this?
183. WU: You felt the summons. And you must have felt those things flying all over the city. I thought I’d make it look like one of their groups got me, and try to get out of town.
184. MORT: Not a stupid thing to do.
185. WU: I thought, maybe, it would buy me a bit of time. I was about to leave when you rang the damn doorbell.
186. MORT: Sorry to mess with your plans, Wu, but I need your help.
187. WU: (INTERESTED) Really? What’s the job pay?
188. CLAUDETTE: I could give you one of my paper flowers?
189. LILLY: Not now, Claudette.
190. WU: Thanks little girl, but that’s not the kind of currency I’m interested in. Maybe another time.
191. MORT: How’s a big favour sound?
192. WU: Not as good as cold hard cash. You have some for me?
193. MORT: Easy, Wu. I’m not a rich man, and what I’ve got, I need to keep for a rainy day.
194. WU: If that was your office that was blown up earlier today – yesterday now, I guess – I’d say it’s raining pretty hard.
195. MORT: Maybe, so. But wait ’til you hear what I want before you start negotiations, huh? I might even be offering you the chance to become a hero.
196. WU: Hah! Do I look like a hero, to you?
197. LILLY: He’s got a point, you know? We did find him hiding inside a wall. (TO CLAUDETTE) Here, Claudette. Sit down and rest.
198. MORT: (SARCASM) Thanks for that, Lil. (BEAT) Alright, I’ll stick to appealing to your self-interest.
199. WU: Always a good policy.
200. MORT: Uh-huh. (BEAT) Well, here goes. Here’s the theory: Caesar Cordova has started dabbling in some dangerous juju. He was being rubbed out by his rivals and decided to try and summon some supernatural artillery. I got dragged into this because he wants Claudette, the little girl–
201. CLAUDETTE: (YAWNING) I ain’t so little?
202. WU: She’s powerful, yes?
203. MORT: Yes. But she’s not in full control of her abilities yet. And Caesar wants her to power a spell or incantation.
204. WU: And you have her because?
205. MORT: I’ve been helping keep her safe. Cordova couldn’t find her. He attempted his spell without enough juice. The things he summoned have got loose in the city… and we think this book–
206. SOUND: HEAVY BOOK BEING PUT DOWN – LET IT FINISH
207. MORT: …might be the key to sorting this mess out.
208. WU: Those are a lot of guesses and surmises, Mr Flintwich. And you haven’t gotten to what you think I can contribute, yet. (BEAT) (ASTOUNDED) Where did you get this?
209. MORT: Claudette. She was led to it by a vision she had.
210. WU: A vision?
211. CLAUDETTE: (EMBARRASSED) Well, sort of–
212. WU: Hmmm. Let me look.
213. SOUND: BOOK BEING OPENED. PAGES TURNING – UNDER
214. WU: Yes, this is… astonishing. Do you know what this book is?
215. MORT: I recognize the text, but I can’t read it. That’s what I want from you… a translation. Anything that might help us reverse what is going on.
216. WU: Reverse? This isn’t like you Flintwich. You stick your neck out for nobody.
217. MORT: Yeah, well. Let’s say I’m compelled by circumstances.
218. WU: Compelled by… let me take a proper look at you? (BEAT) Hmmm. You’re under a compulsion. A binding pact of some kind… but that’s not all of it. Well, well. You believe in what you’re doing don’t you? I think these women have woken up your inner boy-scout. It’s been a while.
219. MORT: Wu, so help me–
220. WU: (IMPATIENT) Shhhh! Let me look at your book. Yes… Yes… this is a copy of an ancient text. The original from which this book was copied was supposed to have belonged to the first of the great Chinese Emperors.
221. MORT: And–
222. WU: You should hear the legend. It explains much. And I am willing to tell it to you… on one condition–
223. MORT: (SUSPICIOUS) Uh-huh?
224. WU: You must admit to me that I am the better medium.
225. MORT: What?
226. WU: That is my price.
227. MORT: (GROANS) Oh for crying out… (BEAT) Right. If that’s what it takes. (BEAT) Oh mighty Wu Cheng, you are by far the greatest of all living mediums upon the face of the earth.
228. WU: (SULKING) But that wasn’t even remotely satisfying. You didn’t mean a word of it.
229. MORT: Wu, so help me… I did what you asked, now do what you promised.
230. WU: Hmpf. Next time I stick to asking for cash.
231. MORT: Wu–?
232. WU: Alright. In the time of the first great emperor, a great invasion occurred. But not of men. Things came into the world and laid waste to much that was beautiful, noble, and strong.
233. MORT: Pretty standard folklore so far.
234. WU: The emperor gathered magicians and sorcerers from far and wide, a coalition, to fight against the invaders and together they worked great magic, inventing new and dangerous spells that were able to withstand the encroachment of these beings.
235. LILLY: That sounds more encouraging.
236. WU: At last they developed a way to banish them from the earth altogether into another plane, a place of howling cold and darkness. The emperor opened a gateway into the mirror realm and the creatures poured through and were sucked into the darkness.
237. MORT: Hang on. What do you mean by the “mirror realm”?
238. WU: Behind mirrors there is a place… a plane into which the invaders have been locked. But the barrier is weak.
239. MORT: How so?
240. WU: It is said that if you stare into a mirror or a still body of water for long enough, you can see them. Your own reflection will give way to that of a monster.
241. LILLY: Nice.
242. WU: And if mirrors are set up facing one another a temporary and unstable gate can be created that will allow one or two of them to come through.
243. MORT: And?
244. WU: The secret to creating a stable gate, however, was, with many other rituals, recorded in a book the emperor had inscribed upon the bones of the many dead who sacrificed their lives in the war. The book was thought lost. But this claims to be a copy of it.
245. CLAUDETTE: It does? (BEAT) I mean, I told you.
246. MORT: Then translate it for us. We can stop Cordova before this gets any worse.
247. LILLY: Hang on a minute. I don’t understand. If these things are locked away in some other… place, how is it that they are showing up here? Does this mean that Cordova knows the gate ritual?
248. MORT: That’s a good question.
249. WU: I think that if there is one copy of the book, then there may be others. But I do not understand how an ordinary gangster came to possess one.
250. MORT: Is it possible someone else is helping him?
251. WU: Maybe. As for how and why they have been coming through before this, I believe I have a theory, or at least a working hypothesis.
252. MORT: Yes?
253. WU: Mirrors.
254. LILLY: Mirrors?
255. WU: When mirrors are placed face to face, creating an infinite line of reflections, unstable gates are created. They last moments but outworlders can re-enter our world through them.
256. LILLY: (CATCHING ON) And mirrors have been rare throughout human history, but in our modern age they’re everywhere. Reflections can be seen in glass and chrome and steel.
257. WU: Everywhere from houses to handbags. There are numerous opportunities for the creation of unstable, short term gates.
258. MORT: And that explains how more and more of these things have been seen?
259. WU: Yes. And why ghosts have become so scarce. The outworlders feed on the souls of human beings, both the living (if they are weak enough) and the dead, but the dead are easier to hunt and have less protection than the living.
260. CLAUDETTE: That’s awful.
261. MORT: Can you translate the rituals… give us a means to fight these things?
262. WU: Of course, I can. Am I not Wu Cheng? (BEAT) Fifty bucks.
263. MORT: What?
264. WU: My going rate for translating impossible ancient books is fifty bucks.
265. MORT: I don’t believe this!
266. WU: I am a business man. You can’t blame me for wanting to make a reasonable stake in exchange for my skills.
267. MORT: Even in the face of Armageddon? The world could end!
268. WU: Ah, yes. But you may succeed in stopping it. I mean, that is your intention, yes? And if you do stop Armageddon from happening… well, it seems fitting that my contribution earns me a few groceries at the least.
269. LILLY: Yeah, right. I oughta–
270. MORT: It’s okay, Lil. (TO WU) You’ll get your fifty, but only if your translation contains something worthwhile.
271. WU: Then you’d best let me work.
272. MUSIC: TIME PASSING SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH

SCENE 25: INT – WU CHENG’S HOUSE – LATER
(MORT, CLAUDETTE, LILLY, JAKE, WU)

273. SOUND: SNORING (LILLY AND CLAUDETTE)
274. WU: It’s a miracle I can do anything with those two buzz-saws in the room.
275. MORT: Leave them be, Wu. They haven’t slept in over thirty-six hours.
276. WU: As you say. I take it you know that the mother is dying, yes?
277. MORT: What? No. I mean, I knew she was sick, but–
278. WU: She doesn’t have much time left. The illness is advancing. Her aura indicates she is in a great deal of pain.
279. MORT: Aw hell.
280. WU: I’m sorry. But I thought you knew. She should not be running around the city. She needs to rest.
281. MORT: She won’t rest while Claudette’s in danger. And her desire to get even with Cordova is the only thing keeping her going right now. But she’ll be able to rest soon. What have you got, Wu?
282. WU: There are two rituals that may be of use to you. One is, of course, the banishing ritual, but it takes three sorcerers of, not insignificant power, to make it work.
283. MORT: Sounds perfect.
284. WU: The other is an exorcism that will dispossess a host body that has been taken over by one of them.
285. MORT: I didn’t know they could possess people.
286. WU: They can if they are gathered in sufficient numbers.
287. MORT: Is that all?
288. WU: No. It also talks about enchanted weapons. Weapons of polished iron that can be used to destroy the creatures in their incorporeal state.
289. MORT: Wait. You mean, they can be harmed by physical weapons even when they’re not in a physical form?
290. WU: If the weapon is made of polished iron… yes.
291. MORT: That’s great! But… no. Where can we find some polished iron?
292. WU: As it happens, I have two fine polished-iron swords. One thousand dollars.
293. MORT: Are you nuts? Where am I going to get a thousand dollars?
294. WU: (DEFENSIVE) They are antiques, dating back to ancient China. It is a fair price.
295. MORT: Come on Wu. We’re talking about the fate of the world.
296. WU: Cash up front.
297. MORT: I got through telling you–
298. LILLY: (WAKING UP) Ugh! Oh, I must have been sleeping funny. I’ve got the worst pain in the neck.
299. WU: I think she’s talking about you.
300. MORT: You’re a funny man, Wu!
301. CLAUDETTE: (YAWNS) Mom? Have we been asleep?
302. LILLY: What’s all the commotion about?
303. MORT: Wu wants a thousand dollars for some swords that might help us.
304. LILLY: So?
305. WU: See? She understands!
306. MORT: I don’t have a thousand dollars.
307. LILLY: I’ll tell you what, Wu. We’ll rent them from you.
308. WU: Rent?
309. LILLY: Uhuh. With a promise to bring them back to you in good condition. How about it? Do you agree?
310. WU: Three hundred dollars.
311. LILLY: Two hundred.
312. WU: Two seventy-five.
313. LILLY: Two hundred, plus the fifty for the translation.
314. WU: Done.
315. LILLY: (TO MORT) Pay the man.
316. MORT: It’s everything I have!
317. LILLY: Now who’s quibbling over money in the face of Armageddon?
318. MORT: (ANNOYED) Okay, I give in.
319. WU: Here are the ritual translations. I will go and get the swords.
320. MORT: Can the girls stay here while you and I go and deal with Cordova?
321. WU: (SIMULTANEOUS OVER LILLY) What? I’m not going to face Caesar Cordova. You’re on your own for that.
322. LILLY: (SIMULTANEOUS OVER WU) No way. You are not leaving us behind. We are coming with you if you are going to take Cordova down.
323. MORT: Whoah. I’m not even sure Cordova is still alive. That cry for help we received–
324. LILLY: Look, if he’s an ongoing threat to Claudette, we can’t ignore him. I’ve come too far to miss out on delivering some payback.
325. MORT: Well, he may have been attacked and killed. We don’t know.
326. WU: I know.
327. MORT: What?
328. WU: I know. I have been keeping an eye on him. (BEAT) (DEFENSIVE) What? You think I’d hang around here if I didn’t have a way to tell whether he was coming for me or not?
329. MORT: But we found you hiding in the wall.
330. WU: That was before you came and filled in the blanks. I didn’t know who was behind it at that stage. Knowing who to watch makes all the difference.
331. MORT: And–
332. WU: Cordova is alive and he is playing host to one of the creatures that came through when he attempted to make a gate.
333. MORT: Then all the more reason why you and I should–
334. WU: (EMPHATIC) No! I will not.
335. MORT: But I don’t have enough power to push them back through the gate alone.
336. WU: You don’t have enough power with me, either.
337. MORT: But–
338. CLAUDETTE: What about with me? I could do it.
339. WU: (APPRAISING) Maybe. For a little while.
340. MORT: No. That is not an option.
341. WU: It is an option. She wants to help. And with her it’s possible you might succeed.
342. MORT: But together–
343. WU: No. You and I, our abilities are negligible. The girl, however, her aura glows like a sun. Beside it we barely flicker. She could dispossess Cordova and his minions while you destroy them with my swords.
344. LILLY: Then that settles it. (COUGHING) If I understand things properly, and those things come through en masse, we’re all dead anyway. If you’re going to confront Cordova, we’re coming too.
345. MORT: Wu seems to be gambling on being able to hide.
346. WU: It’s a big world. Some few will survive.
347. LILLY: I don’t care about myself. Cordova must pay!
348. MORT: But why would you risk Claudette this way?
349. LILLY: What’s the bigger risk? Almost guaranteed destruction if we hide, verses at least a small chance of removing the threat if we come with you.
350. CLAUDETTE: I want to try.
351. MORT: But… but… Aw, hell.
352. WU: Give in. It is happening no other way.
353. MORT: Get the damn swords. But, I’m taking the book with me. And as for you two… you can come with me, but you’re going to have to do what I say and, if things get bad, you need to get the hell out of there – no waiting around for me, capiche?
354. LILLY AND CLAUDETTE: Sure Mort. Whatever you say.
355. MORT: No, I mean it. You have to do everything I say.
356. LILLY: Absolutely.
357. CLAUDETTE: You’re in charge, Mr Flintwich.
358. MORT: (DISBELIEVING) Argh!
359. LILLY: (BEAT)So why are you sticking your neck out? You like to think you’re as risk-averse as Wu here. (BEAT) Well?
360. MORT: (MUMBLING) I’m under a spell.
361. LILLY: What?
362. MORT: (CLEARLY) I’m under a spell. I traded a magically binding favour to a ghost in exchange for finding you in that alley. The price was to try and get rid of the Outworlders.
363. WU: (LAUGHING) You are inept at the art of bargaining, aren’t you?
364. MORT: I didn’t know what she was going to ask when I made the deal.
365. WU: (LAUGHING MORE) Even worse.
366. CLAUDETTE: Shut up! (TO WU) You’re a coward. You don’t have the right to speak to him that way. (TO MORT) And you… you’re just pretending you don’t care. You pretend we don’t matter… you… (BREAKS DOWN CRYING)
367. LILLY: Now look what you’ve done.
368. MORT: Claudette… Claudette, I’m sorry. It’s this place… this city. The older you get, the uglier it seems; the more you want to protect yourself from it. I’m not doing this just because of the spell. Really.
369. CLAUDETTE: (SNIFFING) I know. I can see when you’re lying – even when it’s to yourself. I thought, maybe, you were trying to hurt us – to force us away.
370. MORT: (BEAT) Your mom told me you make attachments fast, kid. Truth is, it turns out you’re not the only one. (BEAT) Are we okay?
371. CLAUDETTE: (GETTING HERSELF TOGETHER) Sure, Mr. Flintwich. We’re okay.
372. MORT: (SIGHS) Alright… (BEAT) There’s a way into Caesar’s HQ through the basement from the sewers.
373. LILLY: How’d you know?
374. MORT: I was brought in that way years ago, when I first made my deal with Cordova. Once inside, we can take a little used stairway up to a balcony that will give you line of sight for any magic that’s needed.
375. LILLY: And you?
376. MORT: I’ll have to be on the ground for my part. Whatever happens to me, I want you to stay hidden and get away at the first opportunity.
377. LILLY: (COUGHING) You’re a good soul Mort.
378. MORT: And you’ll need to do something about that cough. If you let one of those out at the wrong moment we’ll all be dead.
379. WU: Here are the swords. Be careful with them. They are valuable.
380. SOUND: CLANKING – LET IT FINISH
381. WU: Keep them in their sheaths for now.
382. MORT: Alright, it’s nine A.M. We’ll be on our way. Thanks Wu.
383. WU: Aren’t you forgetting something, Flintwich?
     MORT: Huh?
384. WU: The money.
385. MORT: Oh, right. Um. Here.
386. SOUND: MONEY CHANGING HANDS – LET IT FINISH
387. WU: A pleasure doing business with you.
388. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH

SCENE 26: INT – CAESAR’S HEADQUARTERS – MORNING
(OUTWORLDER CAESAR, THUGS)

389. SOUND: CHOMPING SLURPING NOM-NOM NOISES – ESTABLISH AND LET FINISH.
390. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Ah! That was delicious.
391. SOUND: BODY DROP – LET IT FINISH.
392. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Do we have another?
393. OUTWORLDER #1: Yes, master. Here. She’s blindfolded.
394. NAOMI WALKER: What? What are you? What do you want?
395. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: We want you, my dear little medium. I believe your name is… Naomi Walker? You’ve come here in response to our… my… summons. (TO OUTWORLDER #1) Remove her blindfold and make her comfortable.
396. NAOMI: Thank you. I… Oh! So many bodies… So much death.
397. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: The combination of fear and surprise gives the soul such a delicate flavour.
398. NAOMI: No… leave me alone. Stay away! Aaaargh (SCREAMS)
399. SOUND: CHOMPING SLURPING NOM-NOM NOISES – ESTABLISH AND LET IT FINISH
400. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Urk…
401. CAESAR: No! I will not… let you… Urk!
402. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You are proving more resilient than I thought, pesky human. But you cannot (SLURP CHOMP) resist me. You grow weaker each time you try.
403. SOUND: CHOMPING NOISES – LET IT FINISH.
404. SOUND: BODY DROP – LET IT FINISH.
405. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Mmmm. They are delicious. But ten minutes later, you want another one.
406. OUTWORLDER MINIONS: (LAUGHTER)
407. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (BEAT) Bring in the lieutenants. If they cooperate they will make excellent tools… and they’ll be easier to control than this mortal frame I am using – though he still has his uses.
408. SCRUG: Why not cast him aside?
409. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: There’s too much useful information rattling around in this brain. Despite the way he struggles to unseat me, I doubt a more useful host could have been chosen.
410. SOUND: DOORS OPEN – LET IT FINISH.
411. GANGSTERS: (MUTTERING AS THEY ENTER) Get your claws off me. What’s this all about? When I get my hands on you–
412. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Gentlemen. You’ve had time to think about it, and now I want your answer. Will you pledge your loyalty to me?
413. GANGSTER #2: Go on Joey! Tell him.
414. GANGSTER #1: Boss, we always done what you said. And you always led us good. Nice paydays. No sucker jobs. And you kept the cops off our backs. And we’re grateful.
415. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Yes?
416. GANGSTER #1: But this? Some of us was altar boys. We don’t keep with this “magic” stuff you’re doing. We don’t want to be swearing no pacts or nothing. We’re happy to collect our pay as always, but we gotta say “no” to this.
417. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You dare! You defy me! (BEAT) (TO THE OUTWORLDERS) Rip him apart!
418. SOUND: RUSHING WIND – UNDER UNTIL [420]
419. GANGSTER #3: (SCREAMING) Aaaaargh!
420. SOUND: WET TEARING AND DROP OF TWO BODY SECTIONS – LET IT FINISH
421. GANGSTER #4: He was torn in half.
422. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: And he will not be the last. Your spokesman is dead. I suggest you reconsider my offer.
423. GANGSTER #4: Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever you want. I pledge loyalty.
424. GANGSTER #5: Yeah, loyalty. I pledge it.
425. GANGSTER #6: You bet.
426. OUTWORLDER: You heard them, my brothers. Take control.
427. GANGSTERS: (ADLIB) What? Huh? Etc.
428. SOUND: RUSHING WIND – UNDER UNTIL 395
429. GANGSTERS: GROANS AND GRUNTS AS THEY ARE TAKEN OVER GANGSTER
430. OUTWORLDERS: We have control of these bodies.
431. *Voices are layered together.
432. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Good! Now I have some jobs for you. This city is stratified. There are those in power and those who follow orders.
433. SCRUG: Not unlike our hives.
434. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: If my plans are to be brought to fruition, then we must control those who control the people. Politicians, judges, officials in law enforcement and captains of industry.
435. SCRAT: Your orders?
436. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You are to go out and find our brethren and you are to use them to take over as many of these leaders as possible. If we control the population we can secure this city as a staging ground for the return of our people… and they will be easier to control and use for food.
437. GANGSTER OUTWORLDERS: Yes, master!
438. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: And one more thing… bring me the mortal called Madame Sofia. She is interesting to me. Interesting indeed! She knows how to open a gate to our plane of existence… and, she knows how to power it so that it remains open.
439. GANGSTER OUTWORLDER #1: Didn’t she come with these others?
440. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: She is strong and resisted the summons. But this mortal body knows where she can be found.
441. GANGSTER OUTWORLDERS: We obey!
442. SOUND: RUSHING WIND, HOWLS ETC. – FADE
443. MUSIC: TIME PASSING SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 27: INT – CAESAR’S HEADQUARTERS – MORNING
(OUTWORLDER CAESAR, SOFIA, GANGSTER OUTWORLDER)

444. SOUND: DOORS OPEN – FOOTSTEPS – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
445. SOFIA: GRUNTS
446. GANGSTER OUTWORLDER: Bow before the master, witch!
447. SOFIA: Ugh. I am no witch! And you should have better manners.
448. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I see that my minions found you.
449. SOFIA: And I see you survived… somewhat. I take it that Caesar Cordova is no longer in control of that body?
450. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You are as perceptive as his memories led me to believe.
451. SOFIA: What should I call you?
452. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You may call me… Master.
453. SOFIA: Mmmm. No. I do not think so.
454. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Pride? From a woman who lives in poverty and by her wits upon the streets of this uncaring city? (BEAT) I believe I will enjoy breaking you.
455. SOFIA: Many have tried. (BEAT) What do you want?
456. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You would do better to adopt a less insolent tone, mortal. You have knowledge that I need. A means of opening a permanent gate to the place we have been banished to.
457. SOFIA: Banished? So the legends are true. And what makes you think I will give you what you seek?
458. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I don’t believe you will give it to me. Instead I intend to take it. (BEAT) One of my minions has not yet gained a body to possess. You shall be his.
459. OUTWORLDER: Let me enter her, master. I am so hungry!
460. SOFIA: That thing there? Ha! Let him try!
461. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (BORED) She is yours.
462. SOUND: WOOSH – LET IT FINISH
463. SOUND: MAGICAL CHIME – LET IT FINISH
464. OUTWORLDER: Master, she resists me!
465. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: What? Impossible.
466. SOFIA: My spirit is well warded against the likes of you. None of you could take me over.
467. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Insolent! You will obey me! Or I will…
468. SOFIA: You will what, oh mighty leader?
469. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: You dare mock me? If I cannot have you taken over then I will have you killed. Your body has little protection.
470. SOFIA: And if you kill me, then what will you do? You need me.
471. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Do you think so? We are ageless. And you must have seen that in this era of glass and steel, my kind have been finding their way back into this world.
472. SOFIA: Slowly. In dribs and drabs.
473. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Your “assistance” will speed up a process that is already under way. I do not “need” you. (BEAT) And don’t be so sure that death is the only card I have in my hand to play. There are worse things than death.
474. SOFIA: More empty threats.
475. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: I can inflict pain upon you such as you cannot begin to imagine. I can keep you on the edge of life in such agony that death will seem like the greatest of blessings rather than a threat.
476. OUTWORLDER: (LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY)
477. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Or I can give you to my minion here to torment and torture physically. He might not have the same finesse as I… but he would enjoy it.
478. SOFIA: And if I agree? What then? Torment and death, but delivered later?
479. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: What do you suggest?
480. SOFIA: I want to survive. I don’t care about this world or the people in it. I have wanted my revenge upon them for more years than I care to count. I have seen the future and it doesn’t belong to this worthless race of beings.
481. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: Oh, but the petty malice of your species never fails to surprise me. And so?
482. SOFIA: Promise me that I will be left free to live my life in peace. You will want to farm those you conquer. To rule and feed off them. Promise me that I will never be enslaved and the world is yours to take.
483. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: A world of billions of souls made accessible to my kind against one soul left free? That is acceptable. And you will perform the ritual?
484. SOFIA: I will, but we still require the girl.
485. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (ROARING) Then our agreement is worth nothing. (TO OUTWORLDER) Kill her. Tear her apart.
486. SOFIA: Wait. She will come. Today. This very night. Search Cordova’s memory. He is exchanging the woman upstairs for the girl. The woman is leverage and the ritual will be far easier to perform with willing participants than not. Spare me and you will see… master.
487. OUTWORLDER CAESAR: (LAUGHS) Broken already? Then I will wait a little. If she does not come, you will know pain that few mortals have ever experienced.
488. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 28: EXT – STREET – MID-MORNING
(MORT, LILLY, CLAUDETTE)

489. SOUND: STREET AND PEDESTRIANS – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
490. MORT: …That’s the plan. You’ll have to follow it to the letter. Are you sure you still want to come with me?
491. LILLY: (COUGHING) You’re not doing it without us. In fact, it won’t work without us.
492. CLAUDETTE: Yeah.
493. LILLY: (BEAT) Weird isn’t it?
494. MORT: What?
495. LILLY: Look at all these people, going about their lives as if nothing’s happened… while we–
496. MORT: We wander around the streets with bloody boots dangling from our necks, a pair of magic swords wrapped up in a carpet, an ancient spell-book, and a bunch of guesses about a sorcerous mob-boss and an inter-planar invasion?
497. LILLY: (ARCHLY) Well, when you put it like that… (BEAT) What are we doing now?
498. MORT: Going back to the house so we can wash our boot soles, eat something, and get a little more shut-eye.
499. LILLY: Seriously?
500. MORT: Don’t forget, while you two got a couple of hours sleep at Wu’s place, I still haven’t closed my eyes for more than a few seconds during the last thirty six hours. And even with the little you’ve had, you and Claudette look like you could use some more rest.
501. LILLY: Thanks, Mort. I… I appreciate everything you’ve been doing for us.
502. MORT: Quiet. Quick into the doorway.
503. CLAUDETTE: What is it?
504. MORT: Those are some of Cordova’s guys… talking with a homicide detective with a small cloud of outworlders hovering nearby.
505. LILLY: What are they doing?
506. MORT: I’m not sure… Great Scott!
507. LILLY: What? What is it?
508. MORT: They’re recruiting.
509. LILLY: What?
510. MORT: One of the outworlders dived into the detective. He’s possessed.
511. LILLY: They’re taking people over?
512. MORT: Looks like. Hang-on. Duck!
513. CLAUDETTE: One of them’s sniffed something. He’s looking for us.
514. MORT: Stay still. Don’t even breathe.
515. LILLY: Look, the thugs and cop- They’re moving on.
516. MORT: (BREATHES) The outworlders are going with them, but that last one isn’t moving. (BEAT) Uh-oh. It’s coming this way.
517. OUTWORLDER: (APPROACHING) You think you can hide from me, mortals? Ha!
518. MORT: Stay back!
519. SOUND: MORT DRAWS SWORD – LET IT FINISH.
520. OUTWORLDER: You can see me! And you think that little pig sticker will do anything to deter me? Step aside, little man. It’s not you I’m after. I want the girl. You can walk away.
521. MORT: Like hell. Take that, monster! (GRUNTS WITH EFFORT) Ungh!
522. SOUND: FLESHY RIPPING NOISE – UNDER TO 524
523. OUTWORLDER: (SCREAMS) Aaargh! But how? How have you killed me? (FADES OUT)
524. LILLY: What? Is it gone?
525. MORT: It’s gone. The sword worked.
526. CLAUDETTE: I’m scared, Mort.
527. MORT: Don’t be, kid. This is the first encouraging thing that’s happened.
528. LILLY: (BEAT) Mort, I need to tell you something. It’s important. I feel like I owe it to you.
529. CLAUDETTE: (WARNING) Mom–?
530. MORT: It’s okay, Lil. I think I know. And you don’t have to–
531. LILLY: You know? How long–
532. MORT: A couple of hours. Wu was able to read your health from your aura and he told me that–
533. LILLY: (HURRIEDLY – TO PREVENT MORT SPILLING THE BEANS IN FRONT OF CLAUDETTE) No. I mean, that’s not it, and… that’s my business…
534. CLAUDETTE: Mom? What are you?–
535. LILLY: It’s okay, Claudette. No, Mort. It’s not that. It’s–
536. MORT: Is it about my office, then?
537. LILLY: How’d you even–?
538. MORT: Someone let Cordova know you’d come to see me. He hasn’t got a permanent watch on my place and you left my office pretty sore.
539. LILLY: Mort, I’m–
540. MORT: It’s okay. I was pretty angry before – about Jesse – and maybe I still am, but the building was insured and we’ve got much bigger problems now.
541. LILLY: I keep underestimating you, Mort. But that’s not it either. It’s about Jesse.
542. CLAUDETTE: Mom, don’t do this–?
543. MORT: About Jesse? What about Jesse?
544. LILLY: I… When… Back at that house you helped close down years ago. There was a girl who was brought in about the same time as me.
545. MORT: Jesse, right?
546. LILLY: We were friends. The owner was brutal and would beat us for the smallest mis-step. She took the blame for something I did and ended up in a coma. I’ve always felt I owed her.
547. MORT: Yeah, Jesse was like that. It’s why I’ve been looking after her all these years. I owe her from my days in the orphanage too.
548. LILLY: Mort. (STARTS COUGHING) The girl you’ve been looking after isn’t Jesse.
549. MORT: What?
550. CLAUDETTE: Mom, don’t. Please!
551. LILLY: Her name’s Lilly. I’m Jesse.
552. MORT: She’s not… But you’re… Aw, hell!
553. LILLY: Think about it a minute. You know it’s true. You’ve always suspected. Deep down.
554. MORT: (DEEPLY UPSET) What are you doing? Why’d you have to go and tell me this now?
555. LILLY: (COUGHING) I’m sorry Mort. If Mr. Wu told you… well, you know why. I couldn’t let you go on believing a lie. I want you to know I trust you… now.
556. MORT: Damn it, Lil… Jesse… what the hell should I call you?
557. LILLY: I’m Lilly now. Jesse’s been gone a long time.
558. MORT: (BITTERLY) Replaced by a grifter. I can’t believe you played me like this.
559. CLAUDETTE: Damn it, mom. You’re ruining everything.
560. LILLY: I’m sorry. I owed her so much. And I couldn’t help her. I had nothing. And when you didn’t recognize me right off, and you were so desperate to find Jesse, I thought you’d be able to get her some help.
561. MORT: You betrayed me.
562. LILLY: I didn’t know you were going to pay for her care yourself. And… then… once she was getting looked after… I couldn’t tell you. So I ran away.
563. MORT: (BEAT) (QUIETLY) Lil?
564. LILLY: Yeah?
565. MORT: Don’t talk to me for a while, okay?
566. LILLY: Okay.
567. CLAUDETTE: Mom, I hate you!
568. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 29: INT – THE SAFE HOUSE – EARLY MORNING
(MORT, CLAUDETTE, LILLY, JAKE)

569. SOUND: DOOR UNLOCKS AND OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
570. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS ENTER – ESTABLISH AND STOP.
571. MORT: (SUBDUED) Home sweet home. Let’s get in and off the street.
572. JAKE: Well, at least you came home – eventually. Where the hell have you been? I’ve been waiting here for hours.
573. LILLY: This place looks like a hurricane hit it. Give me a minute, Mort. I’m gonna put Claudette to bed.
574. CLAUDETTE: (YAWNING) Goodnight, Mort.
575. MORT: Goodnight, sweetie.
576. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPART – LET IT FINISH.
577. JAKE: Nice to see all of you, too. You couldn’t even acknowledge I’m here, Mort?
578. MORT: Stop it. You sound like the ex-wife I never had. Keep this up and I might start to believe you do exist when I’m not looking at you.
579. JAKE: Ha. Ha.
580. MORT: (BEAT) We were visiting a sorcerer, if you must know. You never want to be anywhere you think you might be exposed as a figment of my imagination, so don’t blame me for this. It’s how you wanted it.
581. JAKE: Hmpf!
582. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING – UNDER
583. LILLY: I’ve put Claudette to bed. She’s mad as hell at me. Wouldn’t even look me in the eye.
584. MORT: Uh-huh.
585. LILLY: (BEAT) Did I hear you talking to yourself?
586. MORT: I was thinking stuff over.
587. LILLY: (COUGHING) She doesn’t know… about my illness, I mean.
588. MORT: I guessed as much. But you’re not just ill. You’re dying, Lil. When are you going to tell her?
589. LILLY: (BEAT)
590. MORT: I thought so… You owe her, you know? She needs the truth.
591. LILLY: I said I’m sorry about keeping things quiet, didn’t I?
592. MORT: To me, sure. But sometimes sorry isn’t enough. Sometimes, sorry takes action. That little girl needs her mom. She needs a future.
593. LILLY: This is none of your business!
594. MORT: I think I’ve earned the right to–
595. LILLY: (ANGRY) What have you earned, Mort? Huh? What? (COUGHING) You’ve been involved with Claudette less than thirty six hours. You know nothing about her… about us.
596. MORT: She needs to know. 
597. LILLY: (BEAT) I can’t do it, Mort. I can’t tell her. And I can’t give her a future. But our lives aren’t yours to fix.
598. MORT: Are you sure you don’t want me to–?
599. LILLY: (ANGRY) Damn it, Mort, I told you before. I want you to stay away from Claudette. This is my business. The girl you thought you knew is long gone.
600. MORT: You want to bring that up again? Okay. It’s like you say. Jesse’s been gone a long time. (BEAT) Do what you want.
601. SOUND: MORT WALKS AWAY – LET IT FINISH.
602. LILLY: (SOFTLY, ALMOST TO HERSELF) Thanks for letting me have the bed.
603. SOUND: LILLY WALKS AWAY – LET IT FINISH.
604. JAKE: Trouble in paradise?
605. MORT: Oh, shut the hell up!
606. MUSIC: TIME PASSING – SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

 
SCENE 30: INT – THE SAFE HOUSE – LATE AFTERNOON
(MORT, CLAUDETTE, LILLY, JAKE)

607. SOUND: MORT SNORING – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
608. CLAUDETTE: (FILTERED ECHOING/REVERB) Mort! (FADE FILTER TO NORMAL) Mort, wake up!
609. MORT: Hmmm. Is something wrong?
610. JAKE: Wake up, sunshine. The day’s getting away from you.
611. CLAUDETTE: It’s getting late. The sun will go down soon.
612. MORT: Aw hell. Is Lil awake?
613. CLAUDETTE: Mom’s sleeping. I didn’t want to wake her up. Her breathing doesn’t sound so good.
614. MORT: We’ll let her rest a little longer. I still gotta think things through.
615. CLAUDETTE: You don’t know whether you want to help us anymore, do you?
616. MORT: Aw, honey, it’s not–
617. CLAUDETTE: But if Mom’s Jesse, and you’ve been spending all these years looking after Lilly instead–
618. MORT: Yeah, it makes it hard to know why I should keep going. Nothing’s like I thought it was.
619. CLAUDETTE: (ANGRY) Why does she have to mess everything up?
620. MORT: Claudette?
621. CLAUDETTE: (STARTING TO CRY) Whenever we meet someone who’s good or kind, she has to mess it up by starting a fight.
622. MORT: (GENTLY) Hey… Claudette, take it easy. She’s got a lot on her mind.
623. CLAUDETTE: Don’t make excuses for her. She lies and uses everyone in her life.
624. MORT: Except you. You mean everything to her.
625. CLAUDETTE: That’s not true. She lies to me too. And she gets so angry… and she always puts getting even ahead of me.
626. MORT: I know you’re mad at your mom, but–
627. CLAUDETTE: Can you forgive her?
628. MORT: Honey,… I–
629. CLAUDETTE: See? She messes up everything.
630. MORT: Listen to me for a minute, Claudette. We’ve talked about this before. Your mom’s been through a lot, more than I know… and more than she’s willing to tell you.
631. CLAUDETTE: But people who care about each other shouldn’t have secrets.
632. MORT: Everyone’s got secrets. Your Mom thinks she’s protecting you.
633. CLAUDETTE: She says. (BEAT) But maybe you’d stay… for me. If I needed you enough–
634. MORT: Claudette… that’s unfair.
635. CLAUDETTE: Everything. She messes up everything. But wait, I remember what Wu said, something about a compulsion and how you believe in what you’re doing.
636. MORT: Don’t believe everything you hear, kid.
637. CLAUDETTE: You’re doing this ’cause it’s the right thing to do, though. That’s right, isn’t it?
638. MORT: Claudette, we don’t have time for this right now. Your mom and I will sort things out later.
639. CLAUDETTE: But–
640. MORT: Right now I need you to get focused. I’m relying on you to make this work tonight. If you can’t face Mr. Cordova… if you’re too distracted–
641. JAKE: What the hell? You’re not going to confront that lunatic are you?
642. CLAUDETTE: I can do it. Honest. (BEAT) We sneak into Mr Cordova’s mansion. We go upstairs and, when I can see him, I read the words from the page Mr Wu gave you.
643. MORT: And then you and your mother run for it – back the way you came. I’ll take care of the rest.
644. CLAUDETTE: Got it.
645. MORT: Good girl. I knew I could rely on you. (BEAT) Let’s see what we can rescue from the kitchen to eat. There must be a can of something that survived the outworlder attack, then we’ll wake up your mom.
646. JAKE: Hey. You’re not thinking of leaving me behind again, are you? (BEAT) Jake? (ANNOYED AND SLIGHTLY HURT) Okay, I’ll stay here, shall I?
647. MORT: I’m getting my shoes from the bathroom. They’re ruined, but they’re all I’ve got.
648. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES – LET IT FINISH.
649. JAKE: Aw, Hell. (BEAT) (CALLING OUT) Wait up, damn it. I’m coming with you!
650. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.
651. NARRATOR: Can Mort, Claudette, and Lilly successfully take the fight to Caesar Cordova? Can the plans of the outworlders be thwarted? Can the gate be closed and the world made safe from invasion? Tune in to episode 5 for the finale.
652. MUSIC: CLOSING THEME AND CREDITS – LET IT FINISH

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Philip Craig Robotham grew up in a house full of books and has held numerous jobs as a teacher, computer programmer, graphic and web designer, an e-learning consultant and, most recently, writer. He currently lives in Victoria, Australia with his wife and two sons. When he was younger and fitter he enjoyed martial arts, but in recent years his hobbies have tended towards more sedate fare (board games, movies, books, and role-playing games).

He is extremely grateful for the encouragement he receives from his biggest fans — his wife and two boys — all of whom read and enjoy his scripts and, in general, make his life worth living.

You can contact the author regarding performance rights (or simply to say hello) through his website: https://www.weirdworldstudios.com.

THE END

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This post and all its content is copyright © 2013 Philip Craig Robotham and has been released under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) license. This play cannot be reproduced, shared, or performed commercially without the written permission of the author.  The production of derivative content, merchandise, or creative works and materials is expressly forbidden under this agreement. However you may share, reproduce, and perform this play freely so long as authorship is acknowledged, no money changes hands, and the play is not modified in any way.

The post Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War – Episode 4 – The Center Won’t Hold appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Those Who are Lost

EPISODE #1 – Navigating the Web of Lies

by Philip Craig Robotham

Cover illustration by Philip Craig Robotham

Copyright 2022 Philip Craig Robotham

Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) Edition.

This play is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) International license. This play may not be commercially reproduced, performed, or sold.   Non-commercial production, performance, and reproduction are allowed under this license so long as attribution is maintained.  No derivative content or use is allowed.  It can be freely shared in its current form (without change) under this license.  If you would like to purchase one or more copies of this work (for your own personal non-commercial use, or to help financially support the author) then please return to https://www.weirdworlstudios.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Episode 1: Navigating the Web of Lies

Thomas Kerrigan, hard-nosed private detective, is hired to find a missing scientist, a harder job than expected. But with Kerrigan, you get two operatives for the price of one – though he tries hard to keep the second locked away – and this case has the largest fee of his career.

Navigating the Web of Lies

CAST LIST

NARRATOR

THOMAS KERRIGAN

SANDRA EAMES

TWO CHILDREN (BOBBY AND BETTY EAMES)

CONSTABLE MITCH TASKER

THE DARK PASSENGER

JOHN CARSWELL (NEWSREADER)

JEMMA DOUGLASS (JOURNALIST)

ROB UNDERHILL (CAMERAMAN)

GEORGE MILLS

JESS WALTERS (THOMAS’ RECEPTIONIST)

ALF BORSCHT (CUSTODIAN)

TINA ROEBUCK (PTI RECEPTIONIST)

RICHARD CAST (PTI SECURITY CHIEF)

MR. BARTHOLEMEW LANSING (CEO AND OWNER OF PTI)

SFX ARTISTS

SCENE 1: INT – POLICE STATION – DAY
(NARRATOR, THOMAS KERRIGAN, SANDRA EAMES, MITCH TASKER, DARK PASSENGER)

1. MUSIC: OPENING THEME – LET IT FINISH
2. NARRATOR: Those Who are Lost, Episode 1, Navigating a Web of Lies.
   Private Detective Thomas “If the fee is there, I just don’t care” Kerrigan may not be the nicest of guys, but he can always be relied on to fulfill his contracts. Still, sometimes a detective needs to question the wisdom of accepting a fee sight unseen, even if it is the largest payday of his career.
3. SOUND: MURMUR OF COPS, TYPEWRITERS CLACKING, AD-LIB COP CONVERSATIONS – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
4. THOMAS KERRIGAN: Hey Mitch, look what I got for you?
5. SANDRA EAMES AND TWO SOBBING CHILDREN: (AD-LIB) Let go of us! We didn’t do anything! Let go! etc.
6. MITCH TASKER – DESK SERGEANT: Come on, Kerrigan, this is a police station. What have you done this time?
7. THOMAS: Me? Nothing. Got a guest for Her Majesty’s finest, though. She missed her court date. Child custody, I think.

• NB. The dark passenger is a voice in Thomas Kerrigan’s head. Use a reverb filter to communicate this.

8. DARK PASSENGER: Heh. Even Mitch thinks it’s a little penny-ante for you. Why didn’t you go after a drug-dealer, huh? At least I’d get some exercise.
9. SANDRA: (THROUGH TEARS) Let me go!
10. MITCH: And the kids? What am I supposed to do with them?
11. THOMAS: Call social services.
12. SANDRA: You bastard!
13. DARK PASSENGER: Oh, no, lady. I’m the bastard. But he won’t let me out. Will you, Tom?
14. MITCH: Did Kerrigan give you that shiner, Ma’am?
15. THOMAS: Course not.
16. MITCH: I wasn’t talking to you, Kerrigan. (BEAT) Ma’am?
17. SANDRA: No. It was my husband.
18. MITCH: (DUBIOUS) Uh-huh.
19. DARK PASSENGER: Look at that. Mitch doesn’t trust you. Do you think he’s become too familiar with my handiwork?
20. THOMAS: (BORED) Can you hurry this up? I want my money.
21. MITCH: Is that why you missed your court date, Ma’am? You were trying to get the kids away from your husband?
22. SANDRA: (SMALL VOICE) Yes.
23. MITCH: Don’t you have a soul, Kerrigan? Sometimes, I swear–
24. THOMAS: Like I should have just thrown the fee away?
25. MITCH: You’re a private detective, not a bounty hunter, and this isn’t the wild west. We don’t do bounties in the U.K.
26. THOMAS: The husband’s paying. It helps keep me in the squalor to which I’m accustomed.
27. MITCH: But…
28. THOMAS: Just process her, Mitch. If the fee is there, I just don’t care.
29. MITCH: She’s right, you know? You are a bastard.
30. THOMAS: Nope, I’m a professional. The rest is for the court to figure out.
31. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 2: EXT/INT – BEDROOM – NIGHT
(NEWS READER JOHN, JOURNALIST JEMMA, CAMERAMAN, GEORGE MILLS, THOMAS, DARK PASSENGER)

32. SOUND: PHONE RINGING – FADE UP THEN DUCK UNDER AND MAINTAIN.
33. NEWSREADER (JOHN): And the new year has opened in terror. Casualty estimates are rising exponentially and we can’t get any information out of Whitehall. It is uncertain at this stage how widespread the event is, but citizens are urged to… hang on, this just in. We’re crossing live to our correspondent in London. Jemma, what can you tell us?
34. JEMMA (JOURNALIST): Can you hear me, John. I’ve no way to tell if we’re still broadcasting. I’m going to press on all the same and hope the signal reaches you.
    Behind me you can see the ruins of parliament. Explosions have been ripping through central london as, what appears to be, fiery meteors have rained down on the city. More concerning still are reports that the meteors contain–
35. CAMERAMAN: What the bloody hell is that?
36. JEMMA: Keep shooting! Behind me, out of the rubble there appears to be… it’s huge. I can just see the shadow of something… something enormous. Wait there’s a light. It’s…
37. SOUND: DINOSAUR-LIKE ROARING – LET IT FINISH.
38. JEMMA: Oh my–
39. SOUND: RINGING BEAM NOISE SWEEPS IN THEN STATIC – LET IT FINISH.
40. JOHN: Jemma? Jemma? Are you still with us? (BEAT) Ladies and Gentleman we’ve just lost our live feed. The studio is now running on back-up generators as I’m informed that most of the electrical grid from Nottingham through to Plymouth (including Wales) and all of greater London has been experiencing large outages. We’ll try to keep… Who the hell are you?
41. SOUND: GUN BEING READIED/COCKED – LET IT FINISH.
42. GEORGE MILLS: Out of the way.
43. SOUND: SOUND OF CHAIR BEING KNOCKED OVER
44. JOHN: What do you think you’re–
45. GEORGE: Shut up, or I’ll blow your head off right here, on live TV. (BEAT) Thomas? Thomas, I hope you’re hearing this. You’ve got to save the scientist. Understand? Karen. You have to save her. You can stop all this. You can–
46. SOUND: STATIC – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
47. THOMAS: (GRUNTS AWAKE) Ugh. Same damn dream… again. Looks like I left the telly on, too. (YAWNS) Was that you?
48. DARK PASSENGER: We talking again? I thought you’d decided to give me the silent treatment after what you did last time.
49. THOMAS: That was you, not me.
50. DARK PASSENGER: I am you, Tom. I’m the side of you you’d like to pretend doesn’t exist. But I’m still one hundred percent you. And you need to let me out. (BEAT) I get cranky, if I don’t get a little exercise from time to time.
51. THOMAS: (TIRED) Just shut up.
52. SOUND: CLICK OF TV TURNING OFF – FADE UP THE UNDERLYING PHONE RINGING NOISE – UNDER
53. THOMAS: Now, what?
54. SOUND: RUSTLING OF PAPERS – UNDER AND STOP.
55. THOMAS: Where is it? Ah!
56. SOUND: RINGING STOPS.
57. THOMAS: Hello.
58. JESS: Tom, where the hell are you?
59. THOMAS: Jess? This is a little early, isn’t it? Even for you?
60. JESS: Kerrigan, the office has been open for an hour.
61. THOMAS: What? Oh, hell.
62. JESS: Are you drunk?
63. THOMAS: No. Bad dreams. I just had a rough night.
64. JESS: Well, get yourself in gear, Tom. We’ve got a client in here.
65. THOMAS: I’ll be there in fifteen. How’s it look?
66. JESS: Interesting. Expensive suit and shoes. Bespoke, or I’m no judge.
67. THOMAS: Better and better. Hey, he’s not a lawyer is he?
68. JESS: Not as far as I can tell. But get down here fast and see for yourself.
69. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH

SCENE 3: INT – PRIVATE DETECTIVE’S OFFICE – DAY
(THOMAS, JESS, GEORGE, DARK PASSENGER)

70. SOUND: DOOR CRASHES OPEN – LET IT FINISH.
71. THOMAS: Jess, I’m here.
72. JESS: Uh, Mr. Wills, this is Thomas Kerrigan, private detective.
73. GEORGE: How do you do.
74. THOMAS: Hi. I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.
75. GEORGE: Not at all. I assume you’ve been out… on “a case”, as they say.
76. THOMAS: Do they?
77. JESS: (WARNING) Tom.
78. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH
79. THOMAS: Please, Mr. Wills. Come into my office.
80. GEORGE: Would you mind having your girl bring us some tea. I’ve been sitting for some time.
81. JESS: What?
82. THOMAS: Uh, sure. Jess?
83. JESS: Huh?
84. THOMAS: Tea.
85. JESS: Tea?
86. THOMAS: Thanks. As quick as you can manage.
87. SOUND: MEN’S FOOTSTEPS DEPART TO THE INNER OFFICE – LET IT FINISH.
88. JESS: (AD-LIB GRUMBLING)
89. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES – LET IT FINISH.
90. THOMAS: Have a seat. What can I do for you, Mr. Wills?
91. GEORGE: You’re not quite what I expected.
92. THOMAS: Oh?
93. DARK PASSENGER: Heh. He don’t know the half of it.
94. GEORGE: I’ve always thought your kind were grubby little men who made a living skulking around bedroom windows.
95. THOMAS: (ANGRY) If you’re about to tell me you’re a lawyer after all–
96. GEORGE: No. No. Nothing like that. I’m really rather pleased by the impression you make. And I apologize if I caused offense. My wife tells me I’m terribly prone to speaking my mind.
97. THOMAS: For those who have one, it’s an admirable trait.
98. GEORGE: I’m sorry? Did you just give me some… “sass”?
99. DARK PASSENGER: Oh, please. Let me kill him, Tom? Just a little?
100. THOMAS: You came here for a reason, Mr. Wills. And you’ve already had to wait.
101. GEORGE: Ah, of course. It’s my sister.
102. THOMAS: Your sister?
103. GEORGE: Is there an echo in here?
104. THOMAS: What about your sister, Mr. Wills.
105. GEORGE: She’s missing and I want you to find her.
106. THOMAS: Isn’t this a matter for the police? The boys in blue tend to frown upon private citizens who engage in this sort of thing.
107. GEORGE: You have a reputation, Mr. Kerrigan. I didn’t realize it included fear of the police.
108. DARK PASSENGER: You’d enjoy watching me peel him, wouldn’t you? I know you would?
109. THOMAS: Don’t try to press my buttons, Wills. If you know my reputation, then–
110. GEORGE: Mr. Kerrigan, I want to hire you to find my sister. Your reputation is, frankly, concerning – spooky, even. If you didn’t come very highly recommended indeed, I wouldn’t be here in this… “establishment”. It is said you find missing things. This is a service I need rather badly. It is also said that you have a temper. I have rather a temper myself, but if someone has taken my sister, I would like her to be rescued and that will probably not require a light touch.
111. THOMAS: Just what services do you think you are purchasing here?
112. GEORGE: I did my research before coming here. You were let go by the Metropolitan police because of a tendency towards excessive force. I wish to hire both your brains and your brawn to find, and if necessary, rescue my sister.
113. THOMAS: And if she doesn’t want to be found?
114. GEORGE: That’s hardly relevant. I believe you have a saying… “If the money’s there, you just don’t care”. Am I right?
115. THOMAS: True enough. But I’ll need to know a few things, first. She hasn’t been reported missing, has she?
116. GEORGE: No. Not as such.
117. THOMAS: Not as such.
118. GEORGE: Are you calling me a liar, sir?
119. THOMAS: Not as such.
120. DARK PASSENGER: Well, you should. I can smell the lies on him. This one has turned it into a profession.
121. GEORGE: That’s good. (BEAT) Her name is Karen Wittington.
122. THOMAS: She doesn’t share your last name, either.
123. GEORGE: (DRILY) Well spotted.
124. THOMAS: I’ll also need some other details; Place of residence, employment, etc. Anything else you can tell me. People she knows. Places she frequents. Enemies.
125. GEORGE: She’s a scientist and has no enemies. I think you’ll find everything you need in this envelope.
126. SOUND: UNFOLDING PAPER – LET IT FINISH.
127. THOMAS: Looks like you came prepared. (BEAT) Has there been any truth in what you’ve told me today?
128. GEORGE: Do you care?
129. THOMAS: Not particularly. But there’s the little matter of the fee. I like to know that I’m going to be paid. And liars… well, lets just say they aren’t always scrupulous about paying their bills.
130. GEORGE: Be assured, you will be well compensated.
131. THOMAS: How well?
132. GEORGE: This well.
133. SOUND: A WAD OF NOTES LANDING ON THE DESK – LET IT FINISH.
134. GEORGE: A suitable retainer, yes?
135. DARK PASSENGER: Well, that’ll keep you in clover for a while.
136. THOMAS: (WHISTLES) Yes. And enough of a retainer that the “dubiousness” of your case isn’t going to bother me much. How do I contact you?
137. GEORGE: Here’s my card. You can reach me at that number when you have news.
138. SOUND: CHAIR SCRAPES AS WILLS GETS UP – LET IT FINISH.
139. THOMAS: Uh, Mr. Wills?
140. GEORGE: Yes.
141. THOMAS: I haven’t agreed to take you on as a client, yet.
142. GEORGE: Don’t play coy, Mr. Kerrigan. We both know you’re going to take the job.
143. THOMAS: Uh-huh. But I’ll need three weeks in advance.
144. GEORGE: That’s outrageous!
145. THOMAS: That’s the cost of business. Particularly, if you’re expecting to make use of the “benefit” of my… reputation.
146. GEORGE: (GROANS) Very well.
147. THOMAS: (BEAT) Alright, that just leaves the contract. Sign here.
148. SOUND: PAPER RUSTLING – SCRIBBLE OF PEN ON PAPER – LET IT FINISH.
149. GEORGE: I think we understand each other. But, Mr. Kerrigan…?
150. THOMAS: Hmmm?
151. GEORGE: I’m not a man you want to cross. Money has changed hands. Don’t fail me.
152. DARK PASSENGER: You really should have let me kill him, you know?
153. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 4: INT – PRIVATE DETECTIVE’S OFFICE – DAY
(JESS, THOMAS)

154. JESS: I don’t think you should have taken this job, boss.
155. THOMAS: You’re just mad he made you bring us tea.
156. JESS: It’s not that. It’s just… I don’t know really.
157. THOMAS: It ain’t like you to turn squirrelly on me Jess. If the money’s there–
158. JESS: “You just don’t care”. Yeah, I know. And I know we’ve crossed a lot of lines. But even you must be startin’ to worry a bit these days. You take too many risks. Eventually, it’s gotta come back and bite you.
159. THOMAS: Don’t start. I fulfill my contracts. I work within the letter of the law. What’s it matter if I bend a few rules along the way.
160. DARK PASSENGER: Just so, partner.
161. JESS: I’ve just got a bad feeling about this one, Tom. Maybe its time your philosophy got a little more… I don’t know, nuanced?
162. THOMAS: Seriously, Jess? Who taught you a big word like that.
163. JESS: Word of the day calendar.
164. THOMAS: Sure. But listen. We need the fee, and its the largest I ever got.
165. JESS: And that doesn’t bother you… We’d have taken this job for a third of what you’re gettin’ paid.
166. THOMAS: Yeah, but Wills seems to think we’re worth it. Hey, you haven’t seen him before somewhere have you?
167. JESS: No. Why?
168. THOMAS: I don’t know. He just seems mighty familiar.
169. DARK PASSENGER: Seriously? Heh.
170. JESS: Well, don’t go trying to track him down through your… contacts. At least not while I’m here. You know how much they give me the creeps.
171. THOMAS: Keep your shirt on. You know I only let “him” out on special occasions.
172. DARK PASSENGER: And I’m getting impatient. If you don’t let me out for a run soon, I’m likely to take it a mite personal.
173. JESS: Where are you going to start looking?
174. THOMAS: She was working for PTI.
175. JESS: Para-technologies Inc.? You’re kidding, right? Weren’t they the mob who had you arrested?
176. THOMAS: That’s them.
177. JESS: You never did say how you got out of that?
178. THOMAS: They’d heard I could talk to ghosts and had some charges trumped up so they could get their mits on me. They tested me for a few days but, as its my alter-ego who has the power to talk to spooks, they discovered nothing. As far as they’re concerned, I’m a charlatan and they cut me loose.
179. JESS: I’m never going to get used to that.
180. THOMAS: What?
181. JESS: You having an alter-ego. It’s nuts.
182. THOMAS AND DARK PASSENGER: (TOGETHER) Tell me about it.
183. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 5: EXT – PARA-TECHNOLOGIES INC. – DAY
(THOMAS, DARK PASSENGER)

184. SOUND: STREET AMBIANCE – LET IT FINISH.
185. THOMAS: (HESITATING) I forgot how much I hate this place.
186. DARK PASSENGER: Hate is good.
187. THOMAS: Anyone we know nearby?
188. DARK PASSENGER: You gonna let me out?
189. THOMAS: Nope.
190. DARK PASSENGER: Figured. We do seem to have picked up a tail. Not a ghost I recognize, though.
191. THOMAS: Is it deliberate or did we just pick up a spook that’s curious about the dual aura?
192. DARK PASSENGER: Can’t deny we stand out… but no, I think it’s a deliberate tail.
193. THOMAS: Thanks a bunch.
194. DARK PASSENGER: Are you just gonna stand out here all day?
195. THOMAS: Nah. I guess I gotta go in.
196. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 6: INT – PARA-TECHNOLOGIES INC. – DAY
(THOMAS, RECEPTIONIST, DARK PASSENGER, CUSTODIAN, SECURITY, MR. BARTHOLEMEW LANSING)

197. SOUND: DING OF ELEVATOR – LET IT FINISH.
198. SOUND: DOORS OPEN – LET IT FINISH.
199. SOUND: LOTS OF MOVEMENT, PAPER RUSTLING, BOXES BEING FILLED, SHREDDERS BEING USED – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
200. CUSTODIAN: Look out, mate. Heavy equipment coming through.
201. DARK PASSENGER: (SUDDENLY SERIOUS) Step back! Do it!
202. THOMAS: What’s up?
203. CUSTODIAN: Equipment from the labs. Being transferred.
204. SOUND: EQUIPMENT RATTLING AND WHEELING BY – FADE PAST.
205. DARK PASSENGER: Equipment? Yeah, I guess. Cages would be a better description.
206. THOMAS: What do you mean?
207. DARK PASSENGER:
     Those cylinders were surrounded by wards. They’ve got spirits in them.
208. THOMAS: Ghosts?
209. DARK PASSENGER: Maybe. Or other things. Best not to speculate.
210. SOUND: ELEVATOR BUTTON PRESS – LET IT FINISH.
211. SOUND: DOORS CLOSE – WHIRR OF ELEVATOR DEPARTURE – LET IT FINISH.
212. THOMAS: We need to hurry this up.
213. DARK PASSENGER: Reception’s over there.
214. SOUND: DING OF RECEPTION – BELL
215. THOMAS: Things look a little busy today.
216. RECEPTIONIST: (RUDE) What do you want?
217. THOMAS: You always respond to clients like that?
218. RECEPTIONIST: Today I do. And we don’t have any clients. Not any more.
219. THOMAS: (SURPRISED) What’s going on?
220. RECEPTIONIST: We’ve all been given our walking papers. The entire building. For all I know, every branch of the entire company.
221. THOMAS: What?
222. RECEPTIONIST: Tell me about it. The suits arrived when the doors were being opened. They told us we’re all through. Handed each of us a tiny check and told us to pack our things… so, if you’ll excuse me–
223. THOMAS: Wait, I need to find your personnel department.
224. RECEPTIONIST: Good luck with that. But don’t expect me to help you. I don’t work here anymore.
225. DARK PASSENGER: At least no-one’s going to stop us from snooping around.
226. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS WALKING – UNDER
227. THOMAS: Let’s go back to the elevator.
228. DARK PASSENGER: I’d prefer we take the stairs.
229. THOMAS: Why’s that?
230. DARK PASSENGER: All this bitterness and resentment. It’s like a fine wine. I’d like to wallow in the atmosphere for a bit.
231. THOMAS: Not a chance. If even the receptionist is shredding paper, I hate to think what’s happening in Personnel.
232. SECURITY: Mr. Kerrigan? Please come this way.
233. DARK PASSENGER: Uh-oh.
234. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS UNDER – ESTABLISH AND FADE.
235. THOMAS: Am I expected.
236. SECURITY: Most of the building has been laid off, Mr. Kerrigan. If you think that means no one is watching, you’re very much mistaken. Too many bruised egos and bitter personalities to just let people have the run of the place. Who knows what might go missing?
237. THOMAS: You haven’t lost your job?
238. SECURITY: I’m a… contractor. My paycheck is taken care of by the receivers.
239. THOMAS: So the company has gone broke?
240. SECURITY: You’d best talk to Mr. Lansing.
241. DARK PASSENGER: Can I at least hurt this one? Just maim him a little, maybe.
242. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
243. SECURITY: Mr. Lansing. I have Mr. Kerrigan for you.
244. MR. BARTHOLEMEW LANSING: Thanks, Richard. Mr. Kerrigan, do come in.
245. DARK PASSENGER: Not another polite rich man with no conscience. Let me tear out his throat with my teeth… Pretty please?
246. THOMAS: Mr. Lansing, I presume.
247. LANSING: Quite right. I’m glad you came quietly. Richard’s a bit disappointed of course. He does enjoy a scuffle.
248. THOMAS: I wouldn’t recommend it. I have a… dark side.
249. LANSING: So I’ve heard.
250. THOMAS: And what have you heard, exactly?
251. LANSING: Don’t let it bother you, old boy. This meeting’s not about you. I believe you were a guest here some years ago. The results were inconclusive. No hard feelings I hope?
252. THOMAS: Get to the point.
253. LANSING: You’re here about Miss Wittington, yes?
254. THOMAS: How’d you–?
255. LANSING: Three days ago, Miss Wittington didn’t present herself for work. She’s quite extraodinary, you know. Nearly every breakthrough and technology this company has pioneered was largely due to her research.
256. THOMAS: (SARCASM) And I’m clearly very impressed.
257. LANSING: Yes, well. The same day she failed to appear, I was informed that I was receiving a rather large bequest.
258. THOMAS: I’m sorry?
259. LANSING: Don’t be. Let’s just say that a rich uncle has passed away and that I am now independently wealthy. So wealthy, in fact, that my investors have instructed me to mothball the whole company.
260. THOMAS: Your investors?
261. LANSING: Well, it wouldn’t do to go calling them Whitehall now, would it?
262. THOMAS: And the rich uncle?
263. LANSING: Funny thing about that. As far as I know, I have no uncles, rich or otherwise.
264. THOMAS: I see. So you’ll help me find her then? Give me some leads?
265. LANSING: Quite the opposite, dear boy. I’m here to warn you. Well, threaten you, more precisely.
266. DARK PASSENGER: (OUT LOUD – NO FILTER) (IN PAIN) Ungh! (ANGRY) No-one threatens me!
267. LANSING: Oh my! Was that him? Just poking out for a minute?
268. THOMAS: (PANTING) Take my word for it, you don’t want to see any more of him.
269. LANSING: He even looks a bit different. Is he a little taller than you?
270. THOMAS: (WARNING) Lansing–
271. LANSING: Quite right. Let’s not get distracted. I still need to deliver my message; (BEAT) Leave the girl alone.
272. THOMAS: Leave the girl alone?
273. LANSING: Yes, leave Miss Wittington alone.
274. THOMAS: What makes you think I even want her?
275. LANSING: You are, in the parlance of our time, a peeper, are you not?
276. THOMAS: I don’t know if I’d–
277. LANSING: And as such you are on an investigation. It would be more than coincidental for a private detective, one with your history, to turn up here today, and for it not be related to the events of the last week.
278. THOMAS: So you’ve been instructed to tell me nothing, is that it?
279. LANSING: I suspect it wouldn’t be healthy.
280. DARK PASSENGER: (ANGRY) Let… Me… (UNFILTERED) OUT!
281. THOMAS: No! (PANTING)
282. LANSING: He really does want to come out to play doesn’t he. How did you hide him from us when you were last here?
283. THOMAS: Ungh! You don’t seem at all surprised by this.
284. LANSING: Our results were inconclusive last time. We thought something was there, some indication of power, but you kept him hidden, didn’t you. Is he a completely separate personality?
285. THOMAS: Yes.
286. LANSING: Well, that explains it. Why is he so hard to hide right now?
287. THOMAS: I haven’t let him out for a while. Without regular exercise, he’s–
288. DARK PASSENGER: Much harder to control!
289. THOMAS: No! I’m not letting you out! So, cut it out. (PANTING)
290. LANSING: Hmmm. I think we’d best bring this interview to a close, Mr Kerrigan. Here, I want you to take this. It’s Miss Wittington’s severance check. Give it to her, if you see her.
291. SOUND: BUZZ – LET IT FINISH.
292. LANSING: Richard? Please escort Mr. Kerrigan out of the building… to the alley, I should think.
293. SECURITY: (THROUGH SPEAKER) Yes, sir.
294. LANSING: And Richard, make sure you persuade him of how seriously, we’d like him to take the message I have given him.
295. SECURITY: (DARKLY) Yes, sir.
296. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 7: EXT – ALLEYWAY – DAY
(SECURITY, THOMAS, DARK PASSENGER)

297. SOUND: SQUEAKY IRON DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
298. SOUND: CITY AMBIANCE – DISTANT CARS, A CAR HORN, TRASH CANS, A DOG BARKS – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
299. SOUND: SHUFFLE OF SOMEONE BEING PUSHED HARD – LET IT FINISH.
300. SECURITY: You heard Mr. Lansing. It’s time you left. But before you go, we were asked to–
301. THOMAS: Wait. Just wait.
302. SECURITY: To be honest, I didn’t expect you to be the kind to beg for mercy.
303. THOMAS: It’s not that. Your boss doesn’t like you very much, does he?
304. SECURITY: He’s not my boss.
305. THOMAS: Ah. So you’re shutting him down as well, then.
306. SECURITY: I guess so.
307. THOMAS: That would explain why he’s about to get his revenge on you. (BEAT) You don’t happen to beat up kids in your spare time, do you?
308. SECURITY: What?
309. THOMAS: Hurt women? Or puppies?
310. SECURITY: What is this?
311. THOMAS: It’s just that I’m looking for a way to ease my conscience… while I still have one.
312. SECURITY: I think I’ve had enough of this.
313. THOMAS: Putting innocent people out of a job and throwing your weight around like a bully will have to be enough, then. Just one more thing?
314. SECURITY: Yes?
315. THOMAS: I’m not talking to you? (TO DARK PASSENGER) No killing. All right. I mean it. No killing!
316. DARK PASSENGER: Done!
317. SECURITY: What on earth? Did you just get bigger?
318. DARK PASSENGER: I’m Tom’s dark side. And it’s nice to have a chance to hurt you.
319. SECURITY: I hope you enjoy being hit by a truncheon!
320. SOUND: WHOOSH, CATCH – LET IT FINISH.
321. DARK PASSENGER: Uh-uh, uh! Naughty, naughty. Trying to hit me with your little stick. Good thing I can catch, hmm? (GRUNTS) Now that I have your little weapon–
322. SECURITY: What the–?
323. DARK PASSENGER: Let me see. Tom said, “no killing”. He can be very boring sometimes. But he didn’t say I couldn’t break your knee.
324. SOUND: CRUNCH OF BONE – UNDER.
325. SECURITY: (SCREAMS)
326. DARK PASSENGER: Or that I couldn’t toss you into the wall. (GRUNTS)
327. SOUND: WHOOSH, THUD, BODY DROP – LET IT FINISH.
328. SECURITY: (GRUNTS) Ugh!
329. DARK PASSENGER: Now, now. Don’t pass out. I want you to stay with me while I have a little fun. How about a broken finger to bring some clarity.
330. SOUND: CRUNCH OF SMALL BONE – LET IT FINISH.
331. SECURITY: (SCREAMS)
332. DARK PASSENGER: More awake now? That’s quite the girlish scream you’ve got there. A bit embarrassing if you don’t mind my saying so. I’d keep it hidden if I were you. Actually, I’ll do you a favor. I’ll pull out your tongue.
333. SOUND: SQUEALCHING TEARING NOISE – LET IT FINISH.
334. SECURITY: (MUFFLED STRANGLED BUBBLING SCREAM)
335. DARK PASSENGER: Isn’t that so much better, hmmm? Now, (BEAT) what shall I do next?
336. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.MUSIC: CLOSING THEME AND CREDITS – LET IT FINISH.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Philip Craig Robotham grew up in a house full of books and has held numerous jobs as a teacher, computer programmer, graphic and web designer, an e-learning consultant and, most recently, writer. He currently lives in Victoria, Australia with his wife and two sons. When he was younger and fitter he enjoyed martial arts, but in recent years his hobbies have tended towards more sedate fare (board games, movies, books, and role-playing games).

He is extremely grateful for the encouragement he receives from his biggest fans — his wife and two boys — all of whom read and enjoy his scripts and, in general, make his life worth living.

You can contact the author regarding performance rights (or simply to say hello) through his website: https://www.weirdworldstudios.com.

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The post Those who are Lost – Episode 1 – Navigating the Web of Lies appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

I’m going to state the obvious; writing audio drama is not the same as writing a novel, short story, screenplay, or stage play.  One of the most obvious ways this is true relates to setting.  In a narrative, the setting can be described and brought to life for the reader.  In a play or film, the setting is created visually.  But in an audio drama, setting is conveyed, almost exclusively, through sound and dialog (and neither of these allow for a great deal of clarity and detail).

How important, then, is setting in an audio drama?  How do we communicate it effectively?  And how do we (and to what extent should we) research and develop the setting?

Setting is built cooperatively

The audio-dramatist has one of the finest set designers in the world available to him or her; the mind of the audio listener.  It is possible to create a complete and thoroughly authentic detective’s office through a handful of words such as “I walked into my office and sat down behind my desk.”  The audience on hearing those words builds a complete set for the character to inhabit, and each audience member’s set will be different from every other’s.  Some will imagine a comfortable leather chair, invent a desk of teak or mahogany, and will cover the walls in academic looking bookshelves.  Others will invent an uncomfortable high backed wooden chair, construct a rickety pine desk, and place some mismatched filing cabinets against the wall with some half-empty bottles perched atop them.  The same story will play out in the minds of each audience member in a thousand different, yet similar sets.

Does that mean we don’t have to think as hard about our setting as other writers’ do?  No, of course not.  In fact, we face some challenges that other writer’s do not.  We can’t, for example, rely on the visual sense to communicate for us.  We also don’t have access to long narrations to build the setting (unless we are writing an audio-book – which I maintain is not an audio-drama, even if it involves a full cast).  Since we cannot readily resort to the techniques used by other media, we need to find ways to communicate and bring our settings to life indirectly through sound and dialog.

Setting has a huge impact on audience interest

Firstly, we all wish to be transported by the stories we listen to.  We want to be taken away to another time and place.  Stories that capture popular interest and attention all have this in common, they take us out of our own existence and immerse us in a world that is unfamiliar to us.  Most of us do not want a carbon copy of our own existence presented to us, instead we seek out that which is exotic.

For this reason alone, the choice of setting is important.

As well as wanting to be presented with a new and unfamiliar world (whether that’s an alien planet, or the experience of immigrant kitchen staff in the competitive world of five-star dining) we need to create a huge variety of individual scene-settings within that world.  A good rule of thumb is to avoid using the same scene setting twice.  Is it a hotel?  Then create scenes in the staff break room, changing room, lobby, kitchen, dining room, elevator, bathroom, street entrance, car park, reception, state room, accountant’s office, meeting room, laundry, rubbish skips, janitorial closet, etc.  A stage-play, governed by the limited space available for story-telling, might only have a handful of scene-settings, but an audio-play can have dozens and dozens.  If they show us something unique (and interesting) that we haven’t seen before and attracts us, they will succeed in adding to the audience’s interest.

Our settings should be designed to be intriguing and compelling.  Whether we are presenting a post-apocalyptic desert world, or a snap-shot of urban family life, the setting should invite interest.  The details we supply, though limited in an audio drama, should be compelling.  A snap-shot of urban family living could be quite boring on its face but, set in Hawaii during a dangerous typhoon, could be made quite compelling.  A girl staring out the window, dreaming about boys, can lack interest, but if it is the fifteenth century and her thoughts turn to boys while she is looking down upon the burning of a heretic, the setting becomes much more compelling.

Setting also defines character

The opportunities and obstacles characters face are often defined by the setting.  A headstrong young woman in an Amish community faces a different set of obstacles and opportunities to that of a headstrong young woman from Harlem who faces a different set of obstacles and opportunities to the wealthy scion of Boston blue-bloods.

Four kinds of exotic setting

Exotic settings are of four types; historical, contemporary, futuristic, and fantasy.

It is easy to see how historical, futuristic, and fantasy settings can immerse us in an exotic/different and exciting new world, but how is this achieved with a contemporary setting?  By shifting culture, geography, environment, and by showing us the side of the world usually hidden to us we are introduced to a new environment.

Bringing the setting to life

To bring a setting to life, it needs to feel lived in.  It needs a sense of history or past, a present, and the possibility of a future.  The characters must relate to the setting emotionally.  They must love or hate the place and these feelings must be expressed in action related to the location (attempts to escape or put down roots etc.). 

The setting also comes to life when we activate the senses in regard to it; sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste.

Visualise the setting

Imagine the items, objects, furnitiure, vehicles, etc. that exist in the location.  How str

Diagram/Map the setting

Don’t trust your memory.  Record where locations and scenes are in relation to each other and the surrounding geography.  This will be an invaluable resource as you write over time, particularly if you reuse and of your settings.

Invent location names that have poetry.

Put words together that sound good and have a strong resonance.  Place names need to evoke curiosity and evoke associations (the name sounds like something else that communicates menace or safety etc.).  Choose locations that are inherently interesting and evocative; places that an audience would want to visit.

Addressing character and setting

What barriers and opportunities does the setting create for the characters?  Are the characters rebels?  How does the society in which they live respond to rebels?  To those who conform?  How do people see the world?  What ideologies and beliefs do they cling to?  How are they challenged by the setting?  What conflicts grow out of the setting naturally?  What conflicts could potentially arise from the setting?

Creating an imaginary world

When designing a setting it is helpful to consider the vast array of elements that make up our society; language (and its history), politics, geography, biology and evolution, science, technology, systems of magic, cosmology, astronomy, geology, resources, economy, specialist knowledge, customs, societal rules, and laws.

Specificity

A setting should be as specific as possible.  Where does your story take place?  At the broad level, it might take place in 19^th Century Africa, but Africa is a huge place and the 19^th century was 100 years long.  Does it take place in Nairobi, or on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro, in Tangiers, or in Cairo?  What day, month, and year does it begin?  What was happening in the world at that time that was having an impact on that time and place?  Be as specific as possible.

Research

Research should be specific.  Generally speaking, a writer needs to do more research than will be used in the play.  Libraries and bookstores, coffee table books, paintings, tour and travel guides, cook books, poetry and literature from the times, works of sociology, educational tv, and even google can supply images and information that can help us to bring a setting to life.  But nothing quite beats the experience of the sights and smells, feel, sounds, and taste of a real place.  The aim of the research is to explore a setting well enough that we feel we live in it.  However, research has a point that transcends the accumulation of information.  You want to research a setting with a view to bringing it to life.  The setting must be alive enough to transport your audience into it.  The purpose of research is to find those salient details that will make that transport possible.

Setting is a character

Setting is a character of sorts.  It must be revealed a little at a time and it must live and breathe and provide helps and hindrances to our cast of characters.  To write a setting well in an audio-drama, we need to drip-feed the details via the dialogue.  Our characters, aided by sound effects, must comment on and live in a world in ways that hint at both its history and unwritten rules.  A “fish out of water” character (or stranger) to this world is often particularly useful.  They can overtly ask questions that, as an audience, we are looking for the answers to.  By revealing only a little at a time questions can be raised that keep the audience engaged and interested.

Example setting

In this example I try to convey a little bit of information about an ancient stone circle and the rules of magic in an invented world.

SCENE: STONE CIRCLE

JENNY GREENTEETH: Alright.  Ye’ve brought me here.  Far from water and under the full moon.  What is it ye want?

MARGARET: Jenny Greenteeth, I want you to explain the purpose of these standing stones to me.

JENNY: Explain what? Ye might as well ask me to explain the movement o’ the stars.

MARGARET: The standing stones are no mystery to you.

JENNY:  Why say you?  They are far from my country.  I know nothing of them.

MARGARET: I can feel them.  They hum and vibrate.  They call to me and they terrify me.  Rough stone, shivering, cold.  The scent of honeysuckle and rich earth.  What were they for?

JENNY: I’m a water spirit.  What do I know of stones that stand on the hilltops?

MARGARET: You were here when the stones were laid.  You knew the people of the hills.  Surely you have answers.

JENNY: That was long ago.  I don’t remember.

MARGARET: I didn’t call you forth to bandy empty words.  I want to know.  Tell me, their purpose.

JENNY: No.  I shan’t.  Ye put yer trust in yer book-learning and know nothing of the old ways.

MARGARET: I knew enough to summon you.  And I know you must answer a question put to you thrice.  So, I ask you again, Jenny Greentree, explain the purpose of the stones to me.

JENNY: Root and bough, but ye are impudent and persistent.  What little I know, I will tell ye, then.  But I doubt any of it will do ye any good.  Ye or yer ark-ee-ology.

The post Thoughts on Setting appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War

EPISODE #3 – Don’t Stare Too Long

by Philip Craig Robotham

Cover illustration by Philip Craig Robotham

Copyright 2022 Philip Craig Robotham

Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) Edition.

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Episode 3: Don’t Stare Too Long

Mort Flintwich considers himself a charlatan… but he can see ghosts – real ghosts. Claudette Moreland is a kid with a supernatural gift. And a gangster named Caesar Cordova wants to use her to win a gang war. Star City is getting stranger.

Don’t Stare Too Long

CAST LIST

MORT FLINTWICH

JAKE SPENCER

CAESAR CORDOVA

MADAM SOFIA MALEFICENT

LILLY MORELAND

CLAUDETTE MORELAND

WU CHENG

OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING

BRUNO

JULIO

SANCHO

LITTLE GIRL IN TRAFFIC

JIMMY

STAN

CHARITY COLLECTOR

DOCTOR

RECEPTIONIST

WAITRESS

CUSTOMER #1

CUSTOMER #2

WOMAN (KNOCKED OVER BY LILLY AND SANCHO)

MRS HARGREAVES

POLICEMAN #1 (WHO DIES)

POLICEMAN #2 (AT WAREHOUSE)

POLICEMAN #3 (AT WAREHOUSE)

SCRUG

SCRAT

OUTWORLDER (RIVAL TO THE SPOKESBEING)

OUTWORLDER MINION (KILLED WITH SWORD ON STREET CORNER)

OUTWORLDER MINION (ATTACKING LILLY)

OUTWORLDERS

GANGSTER SPOKESMAN

GANGSTERS

OUTWORLDER LEADER

SFX ARTISTS

SCENE 15: INT – BACK ALLEY – TWILIGHT
(MORT, JAKE, JULIO)

1. MUSIC: OPENING THEME
2. NARRATOR: Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War, Episode 3: Don’t Stare too Long.
   It’s 1934 and Star City, a depression-era town gripped by unemployment and crime, is gripped by the rumblings of a hidden but desperate war for the future of the human race.
   Previously:
   Lilly Moreland and her powerfully magical daughter, Claudette are being hunted by the crime-boss, Caesar Cordova. He wants to use Claudette to summon monsters from another dimension as allies in the gang war he is currently losing.
   The two women seek the aid of Mort Flintwich, a medium-for-hire who only pretends to be a charlatan, but he turns them away because of a prior agreement not to interfere in the business of the Cordova gang. Furious, Lilly arranges for Cordova to receive an anonymous tip that Mort has violated his agreement.
   Cordova sends his thugs after Mort, kidnapping a friend of his for leverage, and blowing up his office. Mort then makes a deal with a ghost to find where Lilly and Claudette are in exchange for a magically binding favour.
   As Mort sets out to find the women he discovers that the favour requires him to attempt to close the dimensional gate Cordova plans to open (by killing Claudette if necessary).
3. SOUND: (WALLA) STREETLAMP HUM – CAT – NIGHT AMBIANCE – ESTABLISH, FADE UNDER AND OUT.
4. JAKE: Mort? Come on, Mort? You can’t do this!
5. MORT: For Pete’s sake, Jake. Since when have you believed I could kill children?
6. JAKE: Oh, I don’t know. Since you made a binding magical deal with a psycho spirit in a sewer, maybe?
7. MORT: And, maybe, you should pay more attention. She didn’t override my conscience, remember?
8. JAKE: You mean you don’t have to kill the little girl?
9. MORT: For a manifestation of my own neuroses, sometimes it’s like you don’t know me at all.
10. JAKE: Oh, shut up. And why are we creeping around this back alley? Your women are at least two alleys over.
11. MORT: Cordova’s boys are looking for Lilly and Claudette. And we don’t want ’em to be found, right? But they’re hiding out in an alley full of trash because the whole area’s crawling with gangsters.
12. JAKE: Yeah, and why is that? They shouldn’t have any more of an idea where the women are than we did.
13. MORT: My guess is Cordova’s put some sort of general magical trace on the kid.
14. JAKE: Well, when you put it like that…
15. MORT: At least we’ve got one advantage, here. This is where I grew up. The kids at the orphanage used to play all through these alleys and buildings.
16. JAKE: Weird that Lilly would pick this area to hide in then.
17. MORT: Weird, but useful. But what we need right now is a distraction. Something to lead Cordova’s thugs away from here.
18. JAKE: And how do you propose to accomplish that?
19. MORT: Like this. (CALLING OUT) Hey, peanut-brain. You, tryin’ to grab Lilly Moreland? You ain’t got a chance.
20. JAKE: Aw, hell!
21. JULIO: Oh, that ain’t you down there is it, Flintwich? When I get my hands on you you’re gonna wish you was deader ‘n dog meat. C’mon boys.
22. THUGS: (AD LIB) Let’s get him. Kill that mug. We’re gonna make you hurt so bad. Etc.
23. SOUND: RUNNING FEET – UNDER TIL NEXT SOUND.
24. MUSIC: TIME PASSING TRANSITION – LET IT FINISH
25. JAKE: You weren’t kidding about knowing your way around these streets, were you?
26. MORT: Nope. And it’s gonna take those goons an age to find their way back to where Lilly and Claudette were hiding. Now all we’ve got to do is pick ’em up first and get ’em to that safe house o’ mine.
27. JAKE: Assuming they’re even still there.
28. MORT: They’re still there. See.
29. CLAUDETTE: Mom, your nose is bleeding again.
30. LILLY: (COUGHING) What? Don’t worry about it. C’mon. It’s dark enough to try and get out of here.
31. CLAUDETTE: But mom… You sound sick.
32. LILLY: I said don’t worry about it. It’s the stink of all this garbage.
33. CLAUDETTE: (UNOCONVINCED) Okay, but where are we gonna go? I’m cold… and hungry.
34. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS APPROACH – LET IT FINISH
35. MORT: I’m gonna suggest my place.
36. LILLY: Don’t come any closer.
37. SOUND: HAND GUN COCKS – LET IT FINISH
38. LILLY: (SURPRISED) Mort? What the hell are you doing here? Planning to turn us over to your friend, Cordova? A little gift to shore up that cosy little agreement you have?
39. MORT: Cordova got it into his head that I was helping you. He blew up my office. I don’t think that agreement’s worth anything anymore.
40. CLAUDETTE: Mom, put the gun away.
41. LILLY: (COUGHING) Quiet, Claudette. Why should I believe you?
42. MORT: How about because I could have brought a dozen goons with me, but instead I led ’em away and came back to get you alone?
43. CLAUDETTE: Mom, he’s here to help.
44. LILLY: No, he’s not. He had the chance to help this morning. He turned us down. What’s in this for you, Mort?
45. MORT: We don’t have time for this, Lilly. We’ve got to get out of here. Now.
46. LILLY: I’m not going anywhere with you and I’m quite prepared to put a bullet in you to prove it.
47. CLAUDETTE: Mom, he can help us. I’ve seen it.
48. MORT: Please, Lilly, I’m sorry about this morning. I should’ve helped you. But I didn’t know if you were on the level. And now, we’re all in the same boat. You can trust me. You know me.
49. SOUND: GUN UNCOCKS – LET IT FINISH.
50. LILLY: People change, but alright. I’m only agreeing because Claudette thinks I should. And if you betray us, I’ll make it my mission in life to kill you.
51. MORT: Fair enough. (TO CLAUDETTE) I’m grateful to you, kid. But we need to head over two blocks and through an old warehouse.
52. LILLY: (SUSPICIOUS) A warehouse? Why?
53. MORT: I think Cordova’s been trying to track Claudette magically. The warehouse is iron. By going through it, any enchantments will be broken. We’ll head to the safe house from there.
54. LILLY: Oh, you are NOT talking that magic mumbo-jumbo again?
55. CLAUDETTE: He’s magic too, mom. I can see it.
56. LILLY: Looks like everyone’s magic but me.
57. CLAUDETTE: I keep telling you, mom. You’ve got magic too.
58. LILLY: I’ve had enough of this rubbish. You know things sometimes, don’t ask me how, but it ain’t magic.
59. CLAUDETTE: But-
60. LILLY: I once saw a guy at a carnival cold read an entire crowd, so stop with the arguments.
61. CLAUDETTE: Mom, it’s true. We’ve-
62. LILLY: Stop it! I’m not looking for membership in your make-believe club. I want to get us through the day alive. (STARTS COUGHING BADLY).
63. MORT: Are you okay?
64. CLAUDETTE: She’s sick.
65. LILLY: It’s nothing. A bit of a cough. Let’s go.
66. MORT: Alright.
67. JAKE: I’ll meet you on the other side of the warehouse. You know I can’t go through there.
68. MORT: (STAGE WHISPER) Still trying to pretend you’re real, huh?
69. LILLY: What’s that?
70. MORT: Nothing. We need to go this way.
71. OUTWORLDER: (HISSING) Oh, and what is this? There is weakness here. Easy prey?
72. CLAUDETTE: Mom? Something’s here.
73. MORT: Oh, hell!
74. OUTWORLDER: The little one hears me. Will it be sad if I eat its mother?
75. CLAUDETTE: Mom, there’s something near us.
76. LILLY: Claudette, we don’t have time for this.
77. CLAUDETTE: I can’t see it, but I can hear-
78. MORT: It’s okay, Claudette, I can see it. You and Lilly get behind me.
79. OUTWORLDER: He sees me! The medium who lost his gifts sees? (REALISATION) Deceiver!
80. MORT: Damn it!
81. LILLY: What is this, I can’t see-?
82. OUTWORLDER: Perhaps I should show myself. Here, woman. See and despair. Your life-force is weak. You are no longer safe from attack.
83. CLAUDETTE: There it is. It’s made itself visible.
84. LILLY: What the hell is that thing? It’s all teeth and arms.
85. MORT: It’s an outworlder. A predator that likes to pretend it’s a ghost. They’re not usually dangerous.
86. OUTWORLDER: Except to those who know our secrets… and those who are weak and nearing-
87. LILLY: Get away from me.
88. MORT: You must be sicker than you know, Lilly. It wouldn’t see you as prey otherwise.
89. CLAUDETTE: Can’t we keep it back?
90. MORT: Just one alone? I think so. Hold Lilly’s hand.
91. OUTWORLDER: Hmpf! Sharing life force is a cheap trick. But you’ve stopped me… for now. Things are changing mortals. I can feel it. My people are coming soon.
92. MORT: Stop whining. I’m tired of the sound of you.
93. OUTWORLDER: (TO LILLY) Goodbye for now, woman. There are other places to hunt, but I’ll be back. (TO MORT) And as for you, Mort Flintwich… word will spread. You wont be ignored any more.
94. SOUND: WHOOSH OF OUTWORLDER’S DEPARTURE – LET IT FINISH
95. LILLY: What the hell?
96. MORT: Damnit! I’ve been trying to keep off their radar forever… (BEAT) Come on. We’re going, before anything else can happen.
97. LILLY: But-
98. MORT: You can tell me about how you don’t believe in any of this stuff later. Right now, let’s move!
99. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPART – LET IT FINISH.
100. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 16: INT – SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT TIME
(MORT, LILLY, CLAUDETTE, JAKE)

101. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
102. MORT: Okay, this is the place. Home sweet home. At least, for the next few days. Pardon the dust. I gave the maid the last couple o’ years off. Let me hang up my coat and I’ll show you around… there we go!
103. SOUND: A SHEET OF PAPER LANDS ON THE FLOOR – LET IT FINISH.
104. JAKE: Mort, I think you dropped-
105. LILLY: Hmpf. I wouldn’t have picked you for a place like this.
106. JAKE: What do you mean?
107. LILLY: It’s homey, aside from the dust. Comfortable chairs. Warm colors. A functional kitchen. Almost has a woman’s touch about it. Doesn’t seem like you at all.
108. MORT: It came furnished. None of this is my doing.
109. LILLY: Expensive too. How’d you manage it?
110. MORT: I had some savings from… well, a time when I wasn’t quite as honest as I am now.
111. LILLY: Well, don’t worry about us settling in. (COUGHING) We won’t be staying long. We’ll be leaving in the morning.
112. MORT: Where will you go?
113. LILLY: I want to get Claudette out of the city. Then I want to fix Cordova’s wagon. I was thinking of trying the docks. There’s always someone down there who’ll ferry you if the pay’s right.
114. MORT: You got any cash?
115. LILLY: It doesn’t always take cash. Why? You looking to get paid for helping us?
116. MORT: Easy Lil. I’m not your enemy and I don’t take advantage of damsels in distress.
117. LILLY: Hmpf!
118. MORT: I think Cordova will have canvassed the docks with your pictures by now. There’s no telling who’ll be waiting for you.
119. LILLY: Yeah, well. We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it. Meanwhile, I’m keeping this gun loaded and one eye on you, buster-
120. MORT: Sheesh! Claudette, let me show you your room, okay? Your mom and I have to talk.
121. CLAUDETTE: Please don’t fight.
122. MORT: What makes you think we’re going to do that?
123. LILLY: Me. She knows me too well (COUGHING).
124. MORT: Well, I’m hoping it won’t come to that. Come on, I’ve got some great books in there you can read.
125. CLAUDETTE: (EXCITED) Like what?
126. MORT: I’ve got Winnie the Pooh, The Wizard of Oz, Doctor Dolittle, Treasure Island, The adventures of Sinbad the Sailor, Peter Pan. Take your pick.
127. CLAUDETTE: Any of them?
128. MORT: Sure thing. I take it you like books?
129. CLAUDETTE: I love books!
130. MORT: Well they’re all on the shelf. In you go.
131. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
132. CLAUDETTE: Thank you!
133. MORT: Whoah! Okay. (LAUGHING) She’s a hugger.
134. CLAUDETTE: Goodnight, mom.
135. LILLY: Goodnight, honey.
136. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES – LET IT FINISH
137. LILLY: (BEAT) I want you to stay away from her.
138. MORT: What?
139. LILLY: She likes you, so stay away.
140. MORT: Hang on, I don’t-
141. LILLY: I mean it, Mort. I know you mean well, but she makes attachments fast, and she gets heart-broken easy. (BEAT) I wouldn’t have picked you for having kids’ books around.
142. MORT: They came with the place. I never thought I’d have a use for ’em. Can I get you a-
143. JAKE: (INTERRUPTING) Uh, Mort. This doesn’t look good.
144. MORT: What?
145. SOUND: GUN COCKS – LET IT FINISH
146. MORT: Oh!
147. LILLY: I think you better keep your hands where I can see ’em, Mort.
148. MORT: What’s with the cannon? I thought we were starting to get along.
149. LILLY: You dropped this when you let us in. It’s a letter from Caesar-
150. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH
151. CLAUDETTE: Mom? I forgot to-
152. LILLY: Go back into your room, honey.
153. CLAUDETTE: But Mom?
154. LILLY: Now, Claudette.
155. CLAUDETTE: (ANGRY) You’re messing everything up!
156. LILLY: Claudette! Do as I say.
157. CLAUDETTE: (PEEVISH) Ugh!
158. SOUND: DOOR SLAMS – LET IT FINISH.
159. MORT: Now don’t go jumping to conclusions, Lil.
160. LILLY: Don’t “Lil'” me. To think I almost started to trust you. You’ve been intending to hand us over all along. Are his men on their way here already, or were you gonna wait until we were asleep?
161. MORT: You got it all wrong, Lil. I could have turned you over to Cordova twice already.
162. LILLY: Don’t lie to me!
163. JAKE: Come on, Mort. You’ve got to convince her.
164. MORT: Think it through. Drawing off Cordova’s men? Breaking the magical trace? These aren’t the actions of someone who’s going to double-cross you.
165. LILLY: Sure they are. You’d do anything for Jesse, and, according to this note, Cordova’s got her. Maybe you’re delaying while you negotiate a better price.
166. MORT: You already know what happens to guys who try to negotiate with Cordova, Lil. They end up mailed home in pieces. I’m not that stupid. You know it.
167. LILLY: So explain it to me.
168. MORT: Alright. (BEAT) Cordova wants to find you. He wants to find you bad. And he did offer me a deal. That letter was left at my apartment. But I turned him down, Lil, I swear it. I turned him down and I’m trying to buy some time to figure this out.
169. LILLY: You know I love Jesse too, but if it came down to a choice between her and Claudette-
170. MORT: He blew up my office, for crying out loud. That’s how bad he wants you. And I brought you here because I’m in his crosshairs now too. I need answers, Lil. And you’ve got ’em.
171. LILLY: No. We’re leaving.
172. JAKE: Damnit!
173. MORT: Lil, c’mon? Where are you gonna go?
174. LILLY: Somewhere else. It’s not safe here. I can’t trust you. And I won’t risk my daughter. Cordova’s gonna pay for doing this to us.
175. MORT: Okay. Okay. I can’t stop you, but point that thing somewhere else for a bit, will you?
176. LILLY: If you give me a reason to, I’ll shoot you where you stand. (BEAT) Claudette? Claudette, come out here now, sweetie. We’ve got to go.
177. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS TO DOOR – LET IT FINISH.
178. SOUND: DOOR OPENING – LET IT FINISH.
179. LILLY: Claudette? (BEAT THEN CALLING FROM OTHER ROOM) Oh no. The window’s open. She’s gone.
180. MORT: I swear this had nothing to do with me.
181. LILLY: (APPROACHING) Damnit. She’s run off. (STARTS COUGHING CONVULSIVELY)
182. MORT: Lilly, are you okay?
183. LILLY: (COUGHING) I’m… I’m-
184. SOUND: BODY DROP – LET IT FINISH
185. JAKE: She collapsed.
186. MORT: Aw hell. This is all I need. Lilly? Lilly, wake up! Lilly!
187. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH

SCENE 17: INT – SOFIA’S PLACE – NIGHT
(SOFIA, CLAUDETTE, JULIO)

188. SOUND: MATCH BEING LIT – LET IT FINISH.
189. SOFIA: There. Some candle light makes the place less dark. What do you think, cat?
190. SOUND: CAT MEOWS – LET IT FINISH.
191. SOFIA: I know. It leaves a lot to be desired. Half the ceiling’s missing. It smells of rot and mould. And it’s cold as an ice box. But it’s easy for Mr. Cordova to find us here and he’ll want to see me tonight, so we need to be ready. (BEAT) First I need to take another look at the ritual.
192. SOUND: PAGE TURNS – LET IT FINISH
193. SOUND: CANDLESTICK BEING KNOCKED OVER – LET IT FINISH
194. SOFIA: (ALARMED) Who’s there?
195. CLAUDETTE: (ON THE EDGE OF TEARS) It’s me, Granny. Sorry for knocking things over. I couldn’t find the door so I climbed in the window.
196. SOFIA: Claudette? How did you get here?
197. CLAUDETTE: I’m good at finding people. I think it must be one of my abilities. I think about someone and I know where they are… at least I do if they aren’t on the other side of running water. For some reason I can’t find people if there’s running water in the way.
198. SOFIA: Yes, but…
199. CLAUDETTE: Oh. Yeah, I can’t find magical people either. I found your cat, though.
200. SOFIA: Ah, I see. (TO THE CAT) Why is it that it’s always the ones you care about that betray you? Hmmm? (BEAT) (TO CLAUDETTE) Your timing couldn’t be worse, child. I’m expecting some dangerous visitors any minute.
201. CLAUDETTE: (BREAKING INTO TEARS) Please don’t send me away. Mom’s gotten into a big fight with Mort. She’s messing everything up and wants to take me out of the city tomorrow.
202. SOFIA: Oh, child. Don’t cry. You got her to ask for Mort’s help then?
203. CLAUDETTE: (THROUGH TEARS) Yes, but Mort said “no”. And then Mom told Mr. Cordova’s men that he knew where to find us. And Mr. Cordova blew up Mort’s office. And then Mort did find us. But mom doesn’t trust him. And they were having a big argument because Mr. Cordova kidnapped a friend of his and gave him until tomorrow midnight to hand us over. But Mom won’t believe him when he says he won’t do it. And Mort is nice. But mom’s afraid. And I don’t know what to do. And… And…
204. SOFIA: Easy child. Everything is going to plan. They’ve already made friends again and are worried about where you’ve gone.
205. CLAUDETTE: How do you know?
206. SOFIA: I don’t know much at all, really. I can’t see magically active people well.
207. CLAUDETTE: You’re lying?
208. SOFIA: I’m guessing. But it’s a reasonable guess that whatever they have been fighting about will be forgotten once they realise you’ve run away.
209. CLAUDETTE: You know Mort and Mom are magical, too?
210. SOFIA: Mmmm. But your mother’s gift is something subtle. Something she doesn’t even realize she does. (BEAT) Mr. Cordova’s men are coming here and you can’t be seen when they arrive. (BEAT) I’m sorry, but I have to send you away. Right now.
211. SOUND: KNOCKING ON DOOR – LET IT FINISH
212. JULIO: You there, witch?
213. SOFIA: (STAGE WHISPER) You have to trust me, Claudette. I can’t let them find you yet. Not all the pieces are in place.
     Get in the cupboard. After you hear me leave, wait a few minutes, then go out the window.
214. CLAUDETTE: (FIERCELY) You have to help us. Promise me you’re on our side.
215. SOFIA: Haven’t I helped you so far? Aren’t I helping you now? You haven’t been caught yet, have you? Now hide in the cupboard! And don’t hug me, girl. You don’t know anything about me.
216. SOUND: LOUD BANGING ON DOOR – LET IT FINISH
217. JULIO: Witch! Are you in there? (BEAT) C’mon, we’re running late, already.
218. SOFIA: (YELLING) Keep your hair on. I’m coming. (TO CLAUDETTE) Now go!
219. SOUND: CUPBOARD OPENS AND CLOSES – LET IT FINISH.
220. SOFIA: (YELLING) It isn’t easy for someone my age to get up and get to the door. You ought to have a little more respect.
221. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
222. JULIO: Yeah, well. The boss wants to see you. And, like I said, I’m already running late. We don’t have much time.
223. SOUND: SOMETHING CRASHES INSIDE – LET IT FINISH
224. JULIO: What’s that?
225. SOFIA: Your boss’s cat. He gave her to me to look after. She’s a bit curious.
226. JULIO: Maybe we should check.
227. SOUND: MEOW – LET IT FINISH.
228. SOFIA: Here she comes. (BEAT) Here, into my pocket little one. What did you knock over this time?
229. JULIO: This place is a ruin – even for a squatter’s residence. You’re lucky it’s stood up this long. But we haven’t got time for anything else.
230. SOFIA: Well, I’m ready. Let’s go!
231. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES – LET IT FINISH.
232. SOUND: (BEAT) THEN CUPBOARD OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
233. CLAUDETTE: They’re gone. I need to… what’s this?
234. SOUND: MAGICAL HUM – LET IT FINISH.
235. CLAUDETTE: It’s a book. It feels… I’m taking it with me.
236. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 18: INT – CAESAR’S HQ – NIGHT
(CAESAR, GANGSTERS, OUTWORLDER-SPOKESBEING)

237. SOUND: LOTS OF BUSTLE AND SETUP – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
238. CAESAR: The foyer’s the only space large enough for this, so put those candles over there. And spread them out along the edges of the circle.
239. BRUNO: Why are we doing this, boss? It makes no sense.
240. CAESAR: I’m going to put an end to this war. (TO OTHERS) Make sure you don’t smudge the lines. Your lives may depend on it.
241. BRUNO: But Boss-
242. CAESAR: Trust me. As soon as the old witch gets here we’ll have everything we need.
243. BRUNO: But she said you needed the girl for this to work.
244. CAESAR: I know what she said. But we’re out of time.
245. SOUND: RUNNING FEET APPROACHING – LET IT FINISH.
246. JOEY: Boss? Boss!
247. CAESAR: Over here.
248. JOEY: There you are, Boss. The gambling houses just fell. Boscone and Tremere have everything. The last of our gang’s on the run.
249. CAESAR: (TO JULIO) I told you. We’ve run out of time.
250. BRUNO: But the witch ain’t here, boss.
251. CAESAR: We’re out of time. Boscone’s on his way. He’s won. I’ve got nothing left but my family and these last few men who stayed loyal.
252. BRUNO: So, what now?
253. CAESAR: I am not going to lose anyone else. Put those mirrors in place, facing each other behind the circle, then clear everyone out.
254. BRUNO: But Boss, this is dangerous. Remember what happened last time. It’s not like you to make these choices; trying to kidnap a kid, playing with dark forces.
255. CAESAR: Are you questioning my orders, Bruno?
256. BRUNO: You’re breaking your own rules and I’m worried about you, boss. We should run for it. There are other towns. Other cities. We could…
257. CAESAR: We wouldn’t make it outside the city limits. And when it comes to saving my family, the rules don’t apply. Besides, if this doesn’t work we’ll all be dead soon enough anyway.
258. BRUNO: Okay, Boss. But I’m staying.
259. CAESAR: Bruno…
260. BRUNO: Nu-uh. You’ll have to shoot me.
261. CAESAR: Alright, it’s fitting that my right-hand man be by my side. Stay.
262. BRUNO: You heard the Boss. Put those last items in place and vamoose. If we’re still alive tomorrow, you’ll all have jobs to come back to. If not, good luck.
263. SOUND: FEET EXITING – DOORS BEING CLOSED – LET IT FINISH.
264. BRUNO: Okay, Boss. It’s you and me. What now?
265. CAESAR: There’s an army of things on the other side of those mirrors. They used to be part of this world (though I don’t think they were natural to it, even then). They got banished in ancient times.
266. BRUNO: For real? Monsters?
267. CAESAR: If we bring them back and can keep them under our control, we’ll have all the help we need to put down Boscone, Tremere, and anyone else that tries to stand in our way.
268. BRUNO: So how’s it work?
269. CAESAR: It’s pretty simple. Don’t step inside the circle while I read this out… Varshna, Vishnaya, Varisvaya. Nintook palambiel marathusiel dy-et. Murusamiel, Darvidaya, Marishna!
270. SOUND: REVERBERATING MAGICAL BAMF! – LIKE AN EMP GOING OFF. POWER UP AND HUM UNDER.
271. BRUNO: Aargh! Boss! Boss, your nose. You’re bleeding.
272. CAESAR: It’s alright. It’s the portal opening.
273. SOUND: SHOOP OF PORTAL OPENING – LOTS OF CHITTERING-GROWLING NOISES – UNDER.
274. BRUNO: What are those things?
275. CAESAR: Outworlders.
276. BRUNO: I’ve never seen anything like them.
277. CAESAR: They’re invisible to ordinary people unless they want to show themselves. The reason you can see them is that you were part of the ritual.
278. BRUNO: Ugly… and so many of them. All teeth and arms and long tails. They’re like black salamandars with extra limbs and way too many teeth. (DISGUSTED) Animals.
279. SOUND: ELECTRICAL CRACKLE. APPROACHING CHITTERING. – UNDER AND STOP
280. OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING: Animals? We are not animals. (BEAT) Who summons us back to our home?
281. OUTWORLDERS: Yes, who? Who? Etc.
282. SOUND: ZAP – LET IT FINISH.
283. SPOKESBEING: What is this barrier? Magical energy?
284. SOUND: ZAP – LET IT FINISH
285. SPOKESBEING: Ugh! Why are we contained? Have we escaped one threat only to face another?
286. CAESAR: What threat do you speak of monster?
287. SPOKESBEING: My race is being exterminated. In the mirror realm, something has awoken. Something hungry.
288. CAESAR: And you have been looking for a way out?
289. SPOKESBEING: We have been working to break down the walls between our worlds and it has been attracted by the weakening of the barriers.
290. CAESAR: How have you survived?
291. SPOKESBEING: We have hidden ourselves from it underground. But, as we grow closer to freeing ourselves, its power grows too.
292. CAESAR: Then I think I can help you.
293. SOUND: ZAP – LET IT FINISH
294. SPOKESBEING: Ungh! Set us free!
295. CAESAR: You will be free… When you have met your obligation.
296. SPOKESBEING: What obligation?
297. CAESAR: I have enemies. Kill them and you will be free.
298. SPOKESBEING: Pah! Thousands of years, we have been gone, and still you think only of killing one another.
299. CAESAR: What do you care?
300. SPOKESBEING: We don’t. We find you pathetic.
301. CAESAR: Then you will do what I ask?
302. SOUND: BAMF. POWER DOWN – LET IT FINISH.
303. SPOKESBEING: Pathetic. Your summoning is imperfect. You couldn’t keep the portal open. Not enough power. Weakling.
304. CAESAR: (PANTING) Perhaps. But the barrier remains. I can hold you, and those who came through with you, here forever.
305. SPOKESBEING: No, not forever. Your lifetime is the blink of an eye. We could outlast you… and when you die we would be free regardless. But we will perform this service for you. Killing humans is… fun! Who do you wish us to kill?
306. CAESAR: Tommy Boscone and his minions. Dillon Tremere and his minions. Those men of my own who abandoned me to go over to their side. And Mort Flintwich, who betrayed me.
307. SPOKESBEING: Consider it done.
308. SOUND: POWER DOWN – LET IT FINISH.
309. SOUND: WHOOSHING – FADING UNDER.
310. OUTWORLDERS: TRIUMPHANT HOWLS AND CACKLES – FADING.
311. SPOKESBEING: We will return when they are dead, weakling. Bwahahahahaaha… (FADE)
312. CAESAR: (EXHAUSTED) They’re gone.
313. BRUNO: Boss, what were those things? They had too many arms and way too many teeth.
314. CAESAR: They are the tools needed to win this war.
315. BRUNO: I don’t know, boss. I don’t think things like this were meant to be messed with by the likes of us.
316. SOUND: KNOCK ON DOOR – LET IT FINISH
317. JULIO: Boss, you in there? I brought the witch.
318. CAESAR: Open the door.
319. BRUNO: Sure, boss.
320. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH
321. SOFIA: What have you done?
322. CAESAR: Your nose is bleeding.
323. SOFIA: What have you done?!
324. CAESAR: I couldn’t wait.
325. SOFIA: Idiot. You didn’t have the power to create a stable gate. And I’m guessing you are too stupid to have bound the ones that came through.
326. CAESAR: They are doing my bidding, witch. And all without your help.
327. SOFIA: How many? How many came through?
328. CAESAR: About twenty or thirty.
329. SOFIA: Too many.
330. CAESAR: You wanted to let in an entire army.
331. SOFIA: Yes, but one you could command.
332. CAESAR: As I said to you, the ritual worked. They are doing my bidding.
333. SOFIA: Ha. They are paying the price of entry, but as soon as they complete the task, they will be free, and will return… for you!
334. CAESAR: They are under my control.
335. SOFIA: No. You didn’t have sufficient power to control them. You have set them free. And I am leaving.
336. CAESAR: No. You will stay. You promised me an army.
337. SOFIA: I promised you an army if you followed my directions, but instead you may have doomed us all.
338. CAESAR: What?
339. SOFIA: Those things are far more dangerous than you realise, and vindictive. They will return here looking for revenge.
340. CAESAR: For what?
341. SOFIA: For daring to bind them to your will. If you survive this, call upon me and I will come. It’s possible that, once free, they may choose to disperse and bother you no more. We will see.
342. BRUNO: Boss?
343. CAESAR: Let her go. We don’t need her. For now.
344. BRUNO: But what will we do if they come back?
345. CAESAR: I am strong enough. Whatever she says.
346. SOFIA: For what it’s worth I hope you survive. Still, I fear that you won’t. This changes everything.
347. CAESAR: (SARCASTIC) Sorry to mess with whatever agenda you had in all this, witch, but I was never going to be your play thing.
348. SOFIA: Hmpf. (BEAT) We will see. (CALLING AS SHE LEAVES) Farewell.
349. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 19: INT – SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
(MORT, LILLY, CLAUDETTE, JAKE)

350. MORT: Damnit, I don’t have time for this. I need answers and a plan if I’m to save Jesse.
351. LILLY: (GROANS)
352. JAKE: Mort! Lilly’s coming around.
353. MORT: I can see that for myself, Jake.
354. LILLY: Ugh. What? What happened?
355. MORT: You started coughing and passed out, Lil. Are you okay?
356. LILLY: (PANICKING) Where’s Claudette?
357. MORT: She’s still not here. You’ve been out for about an hour and a quarter and you’re running one hell of a fever. Lil, I’m worried. Are you okay?
358. LILLY: (COUGHING) I’m fine.
359. MORT: I don’t think so. I think you’re sick.
360. LILLY: I’m fine. (REALIZING) And you haven’t turned us in to Cordova? But that’ll have to wait. We’ve got to find Claudette.
361. MORT: (WRYLY) Apology accepted. (BEAT) But I’ve got no idea where Claudette is.
362. LILLY: You found us before.
363. MORT: That was kind of a one-time deal. I had to call in some… er… “magical” favours. I can’t afford to do it again.
364. JAKE: You’re telling me.
365. LILLY: Are you serious? You’re still talking about that mumbo-jumbo? She’s out there, alone. And Cordova’s goons are combing the city for her.
366. MORT: Well, there’s some chance they are looking for both of you and, unless they’ve seen Claudette up close, won’t expect to find her alone… (SUDDENLY IN PAIN) Argh!
367. LILLY: (ALSO IN PAIN) Ungh!
368. LILLY: What’s happening? Your nose started bleeding.
369. MORT: Yours too. (GRUNTS) Oh, that hurt!
370. LILLY: What? What hurts?
371. JAKE: Someone in the city made use of some bad juju. I think we’ve got a problem.
372. MORT: Hang on a second, Lil. I need to-
373. SOUND: MAGICAL CHIME – LET IT FINISH.
374. MORT: (BEAT) (RELIEVED) Ah, that’s better. I think something else happened too.
375. JAKE: Huh?
376. MORT: The pact I made with Jenny Mulrooney. I think it activated.
377. LILLY: Mort, you’re not making any sense.
378. JAKE: Aw Hell! That means the outworlders are breaking through. But Cordova’s on the other side of town.
379. LILLY: Mort, did you hear me?
380. JAKE: Something on that scale, well… If that hit you and Lil all the way out here, Mort, it probably hit Claudette as well. She’s gonna need some-
381. SOUND: THUMP FROM OTHER ROOM – DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
382. LILLY: Claudette? Is that you?
383. CLAUDETTE: (IN PAIN) It’s me, momma.
384. LILLY: (FORGETTING MORT) Claudette! What were you thinking? You can’t run away like that. Don’t you realise what could have… Your face! Claudette, what happened?
385. MORT: It’s okay. She’s “active”. The nose bleed means she got hit by the same thing we did. C’mere Claudette.
386. CLAUDETTE: It hurts.
387. MORT: I know. Look at me. (BEAT) Okay, now I want you to center your thoughts. Think of something good. Something that you enjoy. A place or a memory, maybe a book. Got it?
388. CLAUDETTE: Yes.
389. MORT: Okay, now build a wall around that place. Feel the pain being blocked out. Can you do that?
390. CLAUDETTE: Yes. I think so. It-
391. SOUND: CHIME – LET IT FINISH
392. CLAUDETTE: It’s gone.
393. LILLY: (COUGHING) It must have been physical… or like radio waves or something.
394. MORT: It was magic, Lil. The sooner you accept that…
395. LILLY: I don’t. I won’t. Why’d it effect us differently? Why’d it effect me at all?
396. MORT: I know you don’t think you’ve got any magic, but it’s clear you do. The nosebleed-
397. LILLY: Could be a coincidence. I’ve had at least three already today.
398. MORT: Maybe. But I can see the magic in you – it’s faint, but it’s there. And you saw that thing when it revealed itself earlier today. We’re like antennas. You’ve got less receptivity because your powers-
399. LILLY: I don’t have powers!
400. MORT: Because your powers, whatever they are, are subtle. Claudette was overcome by it because she’s a powerful receiver. (TO CLAUDETTE) How are you feeling, now, honey?
401. CLAUDETTE: Much better, I think.
402. LILLY: Then it’s high time you explained yourself, miss. What were you thinking?
403. CLAUDETTE: Mom, I’m sorry. I-
404. LILLY: That’s not good enough. Do you have any idea how scared we were? What could have happened to you-?
405. CLAUDETTE: Mom, it’s okay… I… I went to get us a book.
406. LILLY: A book?
407. CLAUDETTE: Yes, I think it will help us.
408. LILLY: Claudette? Look at me, baby. Are you telling me the truth?
409. CLAUDETTE: Um… Of course.
410. LILLY: Where did you find this book?
411. CLAUDETTE: Oh… um… I kind of saw it… in a vision.
412. LILLY: Like the one you had of Mort?
413. CLAUDETTE: Yeah. Exactly.
414. LILLY: Claudette, is this on the level? You never used to have visions… I’m not sure…
415. MORT: Claudette’s powerful, Lilly. She may be coming into new abilities.
416. LILLY: I… I’m sorry, but this is all so-
417. MORT: Yeah, it must taste like ashes.
418. LILLY: What?
419. MORT: Me being right, twice in one day, about something like magic. (TO CLAUDETTE) Come on over to the sink, kiddo. We’ll wash the blood off your face.
420. CLAUDETTE: Yours too.
421. MORT: What? Oh, yeah. I forgot. (BEAT) Then we’ll take a look at that book.
422. SOUND: WATER RUNNING. SPLASHING.
423. MORT: Okay. There we go. That’s better now, isn’t it?
424. CLAUDETTE: (WHISPERING) Mom keeps messing everything up. She’s so… boring.
425. MORT: (QUIETLY, JUST FOR CLAUDETTE) I think the word you want is “mundane”. And I also don’t think you’re being fair. She’s trying to keep you safe, and, running off like that…
426. CLAUDETTE: She doesn’t understand.
427. MORT: Nobody’s perfect, Claudette. She’s doing her best – but she’s also got her own demons to fight. And her top priority is protecting you. You didn’t do her any favors running away. Why did you go?
428. CLAUDETTE: I heard you fighting. Mom wanted to leave… and we need you. I had to do something so that she’d-
429. LILLY: (AT A DISTANCE) Is this the book you brought back Claudette?
430. CLAUDETTE: Yeah, that’s it. But I don’t think we should…
431. LILLY: I can’t make head or tale of this.
432. MORT: Let me take a look.
433. CLAUDETTE: But…
434. LILLY: It looks like Japanese to me.
435. MORT: Chinese. And an ancient version.
436. LILLY: You read Ancient Chinese?
437. MORT: No, but I recognize some of the characters. See, here… and here. I don’t know what they mean.
438. CLAUDETTE: (RELIEVED) Good… I mean… um-
439. LILLY: How come you know so much anyway?
440. MORT: Believe it or not, I used to study magic. I don’t use my abilities much these days, but I used to… and back then, I tried to learn everything I could about using ’em well.
441. LILLY: You think you can really talk to the dead, don’t you?
442. MORT: (SLIGHTLY EMBARASSED) Yeah.
443. LILLY: But if you believe this stuff, why’d you stop? It’s not like you’ve got a reputation to protect.
444. MORT: Cute. There are a handful of genuine mediums in town. We don’t get along but we cooperate from time to time.
445. LILLY: Like who?
446. MORT: Naomi Walker works up-town and poaches my customers when she can, Wu Chang sticks to himself over in China town, working the tourist dollar. There are a handful of others.
447. LILLY: So?
448. MORT: We’ve all noticed something weird has been happening to the ghost population. And to people who were too open about their ability to see real ghosts.
449. LILLY: That sounds ominous.
450. MORT: I guess it does. I hate that the one we saw today realised I can see ’em. Can we changed the topic now?
451. LILLY: But… Well you understand, about what Claudette’s going through, I mean?
452. MORT: A little, yeah. I think so. She’s way more powerful than me, but I get what’s going on for her.
453. LILLY: Explain it to me.
454. MORT: Even as a little kid I could hear and see ghosts. Jesse was like you in lots of ways. She didn’t like me talking about it. It made me different. Claudette reads minds, right?
455. LILLY: Yeah. (BEAT) Mort, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thought you were going to hurt us. And I get how hard this must be for you, with Jesse in Cordova’s hands… It’s… we’ve had to be so careful…But, about the book… if you can’t read this, then it can’t be much help to us, right?
456. MORT: There’s someone I know who might be able to read it. If Claudette’s right, then this might have the answers we’re looking for.
457. CLAUDETTE: (GUILTILY) Um-
458. LILLY: (COUGHS)
459. MORT: It’s okay, Lil. I haven’t given you much reason to trust me. Not after the beginning. But I think Claudette may have brought us what we need.
460. SOUND: DISTANT HOWL – LET IT FINISH
461. CLAUDETTE: Mort?
462. LILLY: Did you-?
463. MORT: Yeah, I heard it too.
464. CLAUDETTE: I think they’re coming this way.
465. LILLY: What? What are coming this way?
466. MORT: I think you’re right. I can feel them. We have to get out of here.
467. LILLY: Damn it, Mort. What can you feel? I’m sick of being an outsider in my own daughter’s life. Tell me what’s going on.
468. MORT: Lilly, you have to trust me. I don’t know what’s coming, but it’s bad and I can feel it. So can Claudette. And we have to leave. Now.
469. JAKE: Mort. This is bad. I have to get out of here.
470. MORT: Find us at the warehouse.
471. JAKE: Alright. I’ll see you later.
472. SOUND: SHOOMPF OF GHOST DISAPPEARING – LET IT FINISH.
473. LILLY: What warehouse? Who are you talking to?
474. MORT: No-one. A ghost. It doesn’t matter. We have to go. Are you able to travel?
475. LILLY: (COUGHING) Don’t worry about me.
476. CLAUDETTE: No. Stop. It’s too late!
477. SOUND: WINDOWS SMASH – LET IT FINISH
478. SOUND: RUSHING WIND – APPROACHES AND FINISHES
479. SOUND: HOWLING – UNDER
480. OUTWORLDERS: (AD LIB) Prepare to Die. Be afraid. We will crush you. We will eat you. Etc.
481. LILLY: Something brushed past me. (PAIN) Argh! It’s got claws. (BEAT) It’s grabbed me!
482. MORT: I see them. They’re outworlders, alright! Damnit, they’re going for Lilly first.
483. CLAUDETTE: You leave my mom alone!
484. SCRUG: Tasty little treat, aren’t you. Are you ready to die? Or shall I kill your mother first?
485. CLAUDETTE: Leave… us… (SHRIEKED, ECHOING) ALONE!
486. SOUND: MAGICAL BAMF! – LET IT FINISH
487. OUTWORLDERS: (SHRIEKING) (AD LIB) Flee! It hurts! Etc.
488. SOUND: RUSHING WIND (FADES OUT)
489. LILLY: (BEAT) (GASPING) What happened?
490. MORT: They’ve retreated. But they’ll be back again, soon.
491. LILLY: What was that? It felt…
492. MORT: It was an intrusion into the physical world of something else. They’re outworlders. We saw one earlier. They pretend to be ghosts but they’re altogether alien.
493. LILLY: Is this because they know you can see them now?
494. MORT: No. This is something different. Quick, grab the book, we have to go.
495. LILLY: Got it.
496. CLAUDETTE: (PASSING OUT) Ugh!
497. SOUND: BODY DROP – LET IT FINISH.
498. LILLY: Claudette! Are you okay?
499. MORT: She’s passed out. That mind blast came from her. It’s exhausted her reserves. She’ll be all right, but I need to carry her. Leave her to me.
500. LILLY: All right. Which way?
501. MORT: Down. To the cellar. We’re going to use the sewers.
502. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 20: INT – THE SEWERS – NIGHT
(MORT, LILLY, CLAUDETTE)

503. SOUND: DRIPS, PIPE NOISES, OCCASIONAL STEAM – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
504. SOUND: HOWLS IN THE DISTANCE – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
505. LILLY: They sound angry.
506. MORT: They are. They can’t find us.
507. LILLY: Why not? It can’t be the smell.
508. MORT: No. It’s the iron pipes. They interfere with supernatural tracking. But they know we’re here somewhere.
509. CLAUDETTE: (GROANS) Mmmmm.
510. MORT: I think she’s coming around.
511. LILLY: Claudette? Are you okay, honey?
512. CLAUDETTE: It’s so dark.
513. LILLY: (COUGHING) We’re in the sewers with Mort. We’re hiding.
514. MORT: But we can’t stay here. We’ve got to move on.
515. LILLY: Why? I thought you said they can’t find us because of the iron.
516. MORT: No. The iron down here interferes with their tracking, but there isn’t enough of it to stop them for long.
517. LILLY: But if it…
518. MORT: They’ll soon figure out where we’ve gone and the chase will be on again.
519. LILLY: But now she’s awake can’t Claudette, or you, chase them off again?
520. MORT: It takes a huge amount of power. I’m not strong enough. I think Claudette’s power is off the charts, but she’s more likely to kill herself than achieve another win.
521. LILLY: (STARTS COUGHING) Why… am I even… listening to you? (COUGHS MORE) We… should… take our chances.
522. CLAUDETTE: Mom, stop it! You know Mort’s right. We need to listen to him.
523. LILLY: (COUGHING BUT RECOVERING) He’s not saying anything. We can’t run. We need a plan.
524. MORT: I’ve got a plan. Remember how we broke Cordova’s trace on Claudette? Iron doesn’t just interfere with their tracking ability. If we surround ourselves with it, we can break it.
525. CLAUDETTE: Mom, you’ve got to listen. Please!
526. LILLY: Easy, Claudette. I’m convinced.
527. CLAUDETTE: You are? But… okay then.
528. LILLY: But how far is it? And how long will it take to get there?
529. MORT: Too damn long. Every minute makes it harder to get Jesse back.
530. LILLY: Mort…
531. MORT: Okay, Alright. There are some offices attached to a warehouse a couple of blocks away that are made of iron. The warehouse area isn’t (and that’s where we’ll come out) but those offices will be impenetrable to magic.
532. CLAUDETTE: What about your friend?
533. MORT: (SURPRISED) You’ve seen him?
534. CLAUDETTE: No. But I’ve heard you talking to him.
535. MORT: Hmmm. Yeah, well. He’s gone for now. Let’s not talk about him, okay?
536. CLAUDETTE: If you like.
537. LILLY: (TEASING) Are you being haunted, Mort?
538. MORT: It’s complicated, and we don’t have time right now. We’ve got to get moving.
539. LILLY: Okay. Lead the way.
540. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 21: INT – BOSCONE’S WAREHOUSE -MIDNIGHT
(MORT, LILLY, CLAUDETTE)

541. SOUND: SCRAPING OF METAL DOOR OPENING.
542. SOUND: DISTANT SIRENS – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
543. MORT: Okay, we’re here. This is the warehouse. Lilly, you’re first. Head up those stairs but keep your head down. There shouldn’t be anyone here at midnight, but you never know.
544. LILLY: Okay. Here I go.
545. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS ON METAL STAIRS – LET IT FINISH
546. LILLY: Oh, Hell. Mort! Don’t send Claudette up here.
547. MORT: What? Why not?
548. LILLY: Trust me. Don’t bring her up.
549. MORT: We’ve got no choice, Lil. We’ve got to get up into the offices.
550. LILLY: Something bad happened here. There are bodies. Lots of bodies.
551. MORT: What?
552. SOUND: MORT AND CLAUDETTE ON METAL STAIRS – LET IT FINISH
553. MORT: Claudette, don’t look sweetie. Oh my…
554. LILLY: Damn it, Mort. I said don’t bring her up.
555. MORT: I couldn’t leave her there.
556. LILLY: Well, keep your hand over her eyes.
557. CLAUDETTE: Mom, what…?
558. LILLY: Believe me, honey. You don’t want to see this.
559. MORT: I wish I couldn’t. I think I’m gonna be sick.
560. LILLY: Some tough guy you turned out to be. What could’ve happened here?
561. MORT: It’s the outworlders.
562. LILLY: They got here ahead of us?
563. MORT: I don’t think so. The ones that are chasing us are still behind us… and will be coming through soon. We need to get up into those offices up there.
564. LILLY: Are they all this savage?
565. MORT: I never thought so, but I do know they can kill. On their own they’re fairly harmless, so maybe they get stronger in a pack. I don’t want to find out first hand.
566. LILLY: But who are these dead guys?
567. MORT: Come on keep moving. I’ll explain as we go. Try not to step in anyone.
568. CLAUDETTE: Mom, I’m scared.
569. MORT: Sorry honey. Keep your eyes closed. We’ll guide you.
570. SOUND: WET SQUEALCHING FOOTSTEPS (PUDDLES ETC.) – ESTABLISH AND FADE
571. CLAUDETTE: I didn’t think it could smell worse than the sewers.
572. LILLY: Like copper.
573. MORT: Try not to think about it. We’re going to have to clean your shoes off later.
574. LILLY: So who are these men?
575. MORT: They belong to Tommy Boscone. (BEAT) I didn’t expect anyone to be here… and I guess no-one is anymore. There must be at least thirty of them. We’re lucky.
576. LILLY: How so?
577. MORT: If they were alive, and here, when we arrived, they’d have heard us coming in and we’d have a tricky bit of explaining to do. As it is…
578. LILLY: No-one’s ever going to explain anything to them again. (BEAT) But why’re they dead? Is it an invasion?
579. MORT: Maybe. But more likely the things that did this were summoned using bad magic and sent after specific targets. That puts Caesar Cordova at the top of my list of suspects.
580. LILLY: (COUGHING) You think Cordova ordered this?
581. MORT: I’m almost sure of it. He’s at war with Boscone and Tremere. I’m willing to bet he’s got teams of outworlders doing this all over town. Also there’s the pact I made.
582. LILLY: What?
583. MORT: I made a pact with a ghost named Jenny Mulrooney to find you and Claudette. The deal was that I would try to close a gate – a kind of magical doorway – that Cordova was planning to open. The pact activated a few minutes before we were attacked.
584. LILLY: I’ve never pictured Cordova as a monster. As bad guys go, he’s always had principles. But he came after Claudette, and now this? I want to hurt him bad.
585. MORT: (DISTRACTED) Uh-huh. (BEAT) (PUZZLED) There’re no ghosts here.
586. LILLY: What?
587. MORT: This much death and not a single ghost.
588. LILLY: I don’t…
589. MORT: Sorry. It’s a theory. I’ve been wondering why ghosts have been disappearing while the outworlders have been getting more common.
590. LILLY: And-
591. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS CLIMBING METAL STAIRS – UNDER UNTIL NEXT SOUND.
592. MORT: And, I don’t know. They’ve been finding their own way through from wherever their world is in small numbers without help.
593. LILLY: So what’s changed?
594. MORT: There have been more and more of them coming through. And I think they are feeding on ghosts when they get here. I think these things drink our souls when they get detached from our bodies.
595. LILLY: And you’ve reached this conclusion because?
596. MORT: There should be at least a handful of ghosts associated with a massacre like this. It makes no sense that there are none.
597. SOUND: HOWLS – LET IT FINISH.
598. MORT: They’ve found us. We’ll be next if we don’t get inside those offices. Here let me get the door open.
599. SOUND: KEYS – DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH
600. MORT: Inside. Quick.
601. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES – HOWLS ARE MUFFLED – LET IT FINISH.
602. CLAUDETTE: (WHISPERING) Now what?
603. MORT: Get your heads down out of sight. This should break the connection.
604. SOUND: BAMF – LET IT FINISH.
605. MORT: Now, we have to wait.
606. CLAUDETTE: But why would Mr. Cordova be doing this? Didn’t he want me alive?
607. MORT: I don’t think it’s you they’re after. I think they want me. You’re in danger because you’re with me.
608. LILLY: I knew it! Mort… (COUGHING) I can’t…
609. MORT: Put a hand over your mouth, Lilly. Now the connection is broken we’ll be okay so long as we don’t attract their attention…
610. SOUND: HOWLING INCREASES – THEN FADE UNDER AND OUT.
611. SPOKESBEING: The connection has been broken.
612. OUTWORLDER: They have gone. We cannot sense them.
613. SPOKESBEING: Our obligation has been met. We are free!
614. OUTWORLDER: What will we do?
615. SPOKESBEING: We will return to the human.
616. OUTWORLDER: (SUSPICIOUS) What are you up to, brood-brother? You have always wanted freedom, and we can now be free.
617. SPOKESBEING: Do you wish to challenge my directions?
618. OUTWORLDER: We are not in our own lands now. The rules of caste and supremacy need not apply here… unless you wish to apply them.
619. SPOKESBEING: I do.
620. OUTWORLDER: You always were ambitious.
621. SPOKESBEING: We have combined our powers here to great effect. We can affect this world in new and powerful ways when our powers are combined. We can bring our people through…
622. OUTWORLDER: You talk of rescue. You are free from the hive consciousness. But I think you wish to rescue our people from that thing that seeks our destruction only to enslave them.
623. SPOKESBEING: It is our way. The masters draw upon the weaker castes and feed upon their power to assert their will. Alone we are scavengers. Together, we can shape reality.
624. OUTWORLDER: But we can’t all rule. We are absorbed into the hive consciousness of the masters. In this world we could start again. We can be free.
625. SPOKESBEING: I only wish to…
626. OUTWORLDER: You wish to re-establish our slavery, but we are few, far too few to oppose even one of the smaller hives.
627. SPOKESBEING: I have a plan. One that will work. Why should I not rule?
628. OUTWORLDER: Because I wish to be free. And so I must oppose you.
629. SPOKESBEING: You can try. (ATTACKING) Aaargh!
630. OUTWORLDER: No. No! I will not let you… Aaaargh!
631. SOUND: WET SLICING NOISE FOLLOWED BY CHOMPING NOISES – ESTABLISH AND FINISH.
632. SPOKESBEING: It appears you will remain free after all. If death can be called freedom. (TO THE OTHERS) Who of you will join yourselves to my consciousness?
633. OUTWORLDERS: (AD LIB) We will. Yes. Master. Etc.
634. SPOKESBEING: Then we return to the human who summoned us.
635. SOUND: EXULTANT HOWLS, THEN FADE.
636. LILLY: (COUGHING) Those things are crazy!
637. MORT: You could hear them too? They’re way more physical when they are in groups. (BEAT) I think they’ve gone. But right now, I’m more worried about you, Lil. Are you sure you’re all right?
638. LILLY: I think so. Don’t fuss, I’m fine. But what do we do now?
639. MORT: Now? I think we may have caught a break. If Cordova thinks I’m dead, and it looks like that’ll be their line when they return, then there’ll be no need for him to hurt Jesse. 
640. LILLY: That’ll get you off the hook as far as Cordova goes – at least for now, but what about us? If those things go back and kill Cordova, maybe that’ll fix our problem as well.
641. MORT: I don’t think so. The one who ended up in charge was saying they still want to bring the rest through. For that they need Cordova and, I’m guessing, they will also want to grab Claudette.
642. LILLY: (COUGHING) So, is this where you cut and run?
643. MORT: Um… what?
644. LILLY: A fresh start? Maybe another city? Mort?
645. MORT: Damnit. I-
646. CLAUDETTE: Please, Mort, don’t go!
647. MORT: Aw, hell. What kind of guy do you think I am?
648. CLAUDETTE: But-
649. MORT: I’m seeing this through. I can’t shake that pact for a start. But right now, there’s someone I need to see.
650. CLAUDETTE: Who?
651. MORT: I think he might be our best chance of finding a way through this. Put the book you’ve been carrying on the table, Lil.
652. LILLY: Over here? There’s not much space. You’d think the office’d be a little less cluttered. And less dusty.
653. MORT: I was forgetting you used to be an accountant of sorts.
654. LILLY: Some habits are hard to shake.
655. MORT: Gangsters are pretty particular about tracking the money, even if they aren’t tidy. The police’d love to get their hands on those notebooks, for example.
656. LILLY: We don’t have time for that, now, though. Can’t we get out of here and put Claudette to bed. She’s been up all night.
657. CLAUDETTE: (YAWNING) I’m not tired, Mom. Honest.
658. MORT: Sorry, Lil. We’re not staying long. I need to confirm something and then we’re out of here.
659. CLAUDETTE: You don’t need to rush on my account.
660. MORT: There’s somewhere I think we need to go. Claudette, you’ll have to come as well. We’ll all get some sleep a little bit later, but right now… let me see that book.
661. LILLY: Alright. Here it is.
662. SOUND: PAGES TURNING – UNDER AND LET IT FINISH.
663. LILLY: So?
664. MORT: Don’t rush me. (BEAT) It’s like I thought. Unreadable.
665. LILLY: (DISGUSTED) You idiot.
666. MORT: I’m pretty sure I know someone who can translate it for us,
667. CLAUDETTE: (WORRIED) What?
668. MORT: Another medium. Aside from Naomi Walker, he’s my biggest rival and the most gifted spiritualist in the city. His name is Wu Cheng.
669. LILLY: He’s one of those mediums you mentioned earlier, right?
670. MORT: Yeah. He works out of China Town – tourist dollars and Chinese speaking clients.
671. LILLY: And you think he can read this?
672. MORT: Yeah, I do. If it’s as important as Claudette says, he may be our only hope of figuring this mess out.
673. CLAUDETTE: (NERVOUS) I don’t know. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea showing this to a stranger.
674. MORT: We can’t read it ourselves, Claudette. Not without help. And he may not want to help us. But I’m hoping I can convince him.
675. SOUND: BOOK CLOSING – LET IT FINISH
676. MORT: Come on. I’ll bring the book. We’ve got to hurry.
677. LILLY: Where, though?
678. MORT: We’ll go back to what’s left of the safehouse later, but for now… we’re going to Chinatown.
679. SOUND: SIRENS APPROACHING – THEN HALT.
680. CLAUDETTE: What’s that?
681. MORT: Damnit! The police. We can’t afford to be found here.
682. LILLY: Could this day get any worse?
683. MORT: You had to ask, didn’t you?
684. SOUND: DOORS CRASH IN – LET IT FINISH
685. POLICEMAN: (AT A DISTANCE) What the hell happened here?
686. POLICEMAN #2: (AT A DISTANCE) It’s another massacre. I’ll call it in.
687. POLICEMAN: (AT A DISTANCE) The whole city’s gone mad. I’ve never seen carnage like this.
688. POLICEMAN #2: (AT A DISTANCE) Cordova’s found a way to hit back. Maybe he brought in some out-of-towners.
689. POLICEMAN: (AT A DISTANCE) Maybe, but this is so far beyond his style. I don’t get it.
690. POLICEMAN #2: I’ll be right back.
691. SOUND: RUNNING FEET DEPARTING – FADE OUT
692. MORT: Come on. We’ve got to get out of here.
693. LILLY: How?
694. MORT: See up there? There’s a hatch. If we’re quick, we can get through before they come up.
695. LILLY: But that’ll put us on the roof.
696. MORT: That’s right. There’s a ladder down the back into the alley. (BEAT) But we better take our shoes off before we go. Lace them and hang ’em round your necks.
697. CLAUDETTE: Why?
698. MORT: That blood we walked through getting here is going to make a trail that even Star City’s finest can follow. I’m still hoping we can be gone before anyone’s the wiser.
699. LILLY: Okay. Let’s go. But Jake, if that book lets you take the fight to Cordova, remember I still want a piece of him.
700. MORT: You haven’t changed a bit, have you?
701. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.
702. NARRATOR: Can Mort protect Claudette and Lilly from Caesar Cordova? Will Lilly ever be able to trust Mort? Will the Outworlders that Caesar summoned succeed in turning the tide of the gang war and will Caesar be able to maintain control over them? Tune in to episode 4 and find out.
703. MUSIC: CLOSING THEME AND CREDITS – LET IT FINISH.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Philip Craig Robotham grew up in a house full of books and has held numerous jobs as a teacher, computer programmer, graphic and web designer, an e-learning consultant and, most recently, writer. He currently lives in Victoria, Australia with his wife and two sons. When he was younger and fitter he enjoyed martial arts, but in recent years his hobbies have tended towards more sedate fare (board games, movies, books, and role-playing games).

He is extremely grateful for the encouragement he receives from his biggest fans — his wife and two boys — all of whom read and enjoy his scripts and, in general, make his life worth living.

You can contact the author regarding performance rights (or simply to say hello) through his website: https://www.weirdworldstudios.com.

THE END

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This post and all its content is copyright © 2013 Philip Craig Robotham and has been released under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) license. This play cannot be reproduced, shared, or performed commercially without the written permission of the author.  The production of derivative content, merchandise, or creative works and materials is expressly forbidden under this agreement. However you may share, reproduce, and perform this play freely so long as authorship is acknowledged, no money changes hands, and the play is not modified in any way.

The post Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War – Episode 3 – Don’t Stare Too Long appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War

EPISODE #2 – Never Send to Know

by Philip Craig Robotham

Cover illustration by Philip Craig Robotham

Copyright 2022 Philip Craig Robotham

Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) Edition.

This play is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) International license. This play may not be commercially reproduced, performed, or sold.   Non-commercial production, performance, and reproduction are allowed under this license so long as attribution is maintained.  No derivative content or use is allowed.  It can be freely shared in its current form (without change) under this license.  If you would like to purchase one or more copies of this work (for your own personal non-commercial use, or to help financially support the author) then please return to https://www.weirdworlstudios.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Episode 2: Never Send to Know

Mort Flintwich considers himself a charlatan… but he can see ghosts – real ghosts. Claudette Moreland is a kid with a supernatural gift. And a gangster named Caesar Cordova wants to use her to win a gang war. Star City is getting stranger.

Never Send to Know

CAST LIST

MORT FLINTWICH

JAKE SPENCER

CAESAR CORDOVA

MADAM SOFIA MALEFICENT

LILLY MORELAND

CLAUDETTE MORELAND

WU CHENG

OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING

BRUNO

JULIO

SANCHO

LITTLE GIRL IN TRAFFIC

JIMMY

STAN

CHARITY COLLECTOR

DOCTOR

RECEPTIONIST

WAITRESS

CUSTOMER #1

CUSTOMER #2

WOMAN (KNOCKED OVER BY LILLY AND SANCHO)

MRS HARGREAVES

POLICEMAN #1 (WHO DIES)

POLICEMAN #2 (AT WAREHOUSE)

POLICEMAN #3 (AT WAREHOUSE)

SCRUG

SCRAT

OUTWORLDER (RIVAL TO THE SPOKESBEING)

OUTWORLDER MINION (KILLED WITH SWORD ON STREET CORNER)

OUTWORLDER MINION (ATTACKING LILLY)

OUTWORLDERS

GANGSTER SPOKESMAN

GANGSTERS

OUTWORLDER LEADER

SFX ARTISTS

SCENE 7: INT – MORT’S OFFICE – LATE MORNING
(MORT, JAKE, LILLY, CLAUDETTE)

1. MUSIC: OPENING THEME
2. NARRATOR: Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War, Episode 2: Never Send to Know.
   It’s 1934 in Star City and crime-boss, Ceasar Cordova wants to kidnap Lilly Moreland’s magical daughter, Claudette, at the behest of the double dealing witch, Madame Sofia. Somehow Mort Flintwich, a small time huckster and fake medium currently preparing for his first client of the day, is their only hope of escape.
3. MORT: Can I get a little quiet from the voice in my head, please? I’ve got things to do.
4. JAKE: It’s just I don’t understand why you keep this office, Mort. You don’t need to pretend to be a medium. You could do anything.
5. MORT: (SNORTS WITH DERISION) Hmpf.
6. JAKE: You were a good cop once. And you’re a decent grifter. (BEAT) Cheap theatrics don’t seem your style. And taking lumps for it? Don’t it make you question your life choices?
7. MORT: My life’s not so bad.
8. JAKE: Says the guy who got beat up over a 35 buck fee.
9. MORT: Hey, I got bills, okay. Besides, one step too far out of line and my old buddies at the precinct will have me playing room-mates with a serial murderer on cell-block D. There are people who rely on me.
10. JAKE: Like your bar-tender.
11. MORT: You know exactly who I mean.
12. JAKE: Yeah, I know about Jesse’s hospital bills.
13. MORT: Hey!
14. JAKE: Yeah, yeah. We don’t talk about Jesse. But she’s one of the reasons I don’t buy that heart of stone routine you’re so fond of.
15. MORT: You’re not going to start all that again are you? Even if I did get beat up, at least I got my sandwich. It coulda been worse.
16. JAKE: I don’t understand you at all sometimes.
17. MORT: For a manifestation of my unconscious neuroses, you sure can play stupid.
18. JAKE: I’m as real as you are… well, for a ghost.
19. MORT: You’re not a ghost.
20. JAKE: Are too.
21. MORT: Really, that’s the level of discourse you rise to. “Are too”?
22. JAKE: Hey, if I’m supposed to be a manifestation of your brain, then…
23. MORT: Aw, save it. (BEAT) You ever wonder why there are so few real ghosts around?
24. JAKE: Besides me, you mean?
25. MORT: You’re not real. But I’ve been dealing with real ones all my life. Not like those imposters I see now. There used to be more of ’em, too. Lots more.
26. JAKE: Huh?
27. MORT: Yeah. When I was a kid, there used to be plenty o’ real ghosts. Now, not so much.
28. JAKE: What’s your theory? Grown-ups can’t see ’em?
29. MORT: Funny. I think they’ve been driven out by the tricksters, or maybe the imposters ate ’em. Your guess is as good as mine.
30. JAKE: Ate ’em? Come on.
31. MORT: Yeah, well. It’s not as ridiculous as you might think. You’ve never seen one, but I’ve seen plenty. Those things have teeth, a mouth full of six-inch-long needles.
32. JAKE: Yeah, right.
33. MORT: They used to be real rare… and they’d hang around in the background. But then there were more of them, and fewer real ghosts, and then the ghosts became rare, and the tricksters’d pretend to be ghosts in their place… like it was funny. Most mediums can’t see ’em. Most. Most mediums can only hear ’em.
34. JAKE: You’re pulling my leg.
35. MORT: I’m not. I’ve told you before. They’re dangerous. You remember Holzman?
36. JAKE: Before my time.
37. MORT: He was a friend of mine. Not a partner, but he threw work my way. He could see ’em too. Most of the time we pretended we couldn’t, but he decided he was going to let ’em know he knew they weren’t ghosts. He got thrown down a lift shaft.
38. JAKE: Come on!
39. MORT: It’s the truth. It’s also the reason I faked the accident.
40. JAKE: Faked?
41. MORT: Okay, so things got a bit more real than I intended. But I was able to convince those… things… that I’d lost my abilities. You don’t see ’em hanging about me anymore, do you?
42. JAKE: According to you, they’d eat me if they did.
43. MORT: Yeah, but you’re not a real ghost.
44. JAKE: What? You think I’m a trickster?
45. MORT: Nah. I think you’re what happened when I hit my head in the car accident.
46. SOUND: DISCREET TAP ON DOOR
47. LILLY: Hello?
48. MORT: Saved by the bell. (LOUDER) Come in.
49. SOUND: DOOR OPENS
50. LILLY: Hi Mort. It’s been years.
51. MORT: Lilly? Lil Moreland?
52. LILLY: In the flesh. (BEAT) You busy? It sounded like you were talkin’ to someone in here.
53. MORT: (DISMISSIVE) Meh. The local ghosts. Come in. It’s been, what, a decade? Longer? How goes the grifting?
54. LILLY: Don’t start. What’d you do to your eye?
55. MORT: You should see the other guy. (BEAT) I hear you’ve been branching out into second-storey work.
56. LILLY: You’ve got good ears. But that’s not something I want to talk about. Especially not with an ex-copper. (BEAT) You’re looking sour, Mort. What’s up?
57. MORT: You. Turning up here like this. You took off, Lil. We could’ve used you on the witness stand.
58. LILLY: A courtroom would have taken my testimony apart. You know what I was in that place.
59. MORT: Yeah. You were a victim.
60. LILLY: That’s not how it would’ve looked once a lawyer got hold of me. Besides, I left you the books they’d been cooking. There was more than enough physical evidence to put an end to that place.
61. MORT: Yeah. But we coulda done so much more. Gotten some real justice for Jesse.
62. LILLY: That was a pipe dream, Mort. You know who was protecting that place. You got the girls out. No-one coulda done more. Certainly not me.
63. MORT: Ah, forget it. Too much water under that bridge now anyway. What do you want?
64. LILLY: Who says I want anything?
65. MORT: I don’t see you for years and you turn up in my office. I’m gonna assume it isn’t a social call.
66. LILLY: (STALLING) This isn’t what I pictured a fortune teller’s office would look like.
67. MORT: Putting aside that I’m not a fortune teller… why’s that?
68. LILLY: I don’t know. Outside of your rugs I thought there’d be a crystal ball; a bunch of statues from India – that sort of thing. An otherwise bare office with a desk and a small coffee table in the corner? That wasn’t what I expected.
69. MORT: I sell myself as having a more scientific approach. I get out a bunch of lab junk when the rubes come in and mix it with some statues and stuff to give it an exotic air. I haven’t dressed the set yet.
70. LILLY: Seriously?
71. MORT: It’s kind of an East meets West sort of thing. Makes for a good selling point. Otherwise the office stays like you see it. (BEAT) Who’ve you got shuffling outside the door?
72. LILLY: Oh, sorry. That’s my daughter, Claudette. Come in honey.
73. CLAUDETTE: Hello, Mr. Flintwich. This is for you.
74. MORT: Hello, sweetie. What’s this? A paper flower? It’s pretty, thanks.
75. CLAUDETTE: I’ll put it in your button hole. (BEAT) There.
76. MORT: (TO LILLY) She’s lovely – but you still haven’t answered my question.
77. (BEAT) Why are you here?
78. LILLY: We need your help.
79. MORT: You need my help? It can’t be to put up some shelves and you know this place isn’t the real deal, right?
80. LILLY: Yeah, you’re a grifter now.
81. MORT: Please. I’m a charlatan. I haven’t run a con in years.
82. LILLY: Too much cop in you?
83. MORT: Something like that.
84. CLAUDETTE: That’s not true!
85. MORT: Ouch! I’m serious, kid. No cons. Not for years.
86. CLAUDETTE: No, I mean, you’re not a charlatan. I can see it. You’ve got magic.
87. MORT: Huh? (CURIOUS) Let me take a look at you. Say, you’re glowing like a beacon, kid. (TO LILLY) And Lil, you’ve got a little too (though it’s hard to detect). I never looked for it in you way back when.
88. LILLY: What rubbish are you talking about?
89. MORT: Magic. Both of you have some, but Claudette especially.
90. CLAUDETTE: See, mom. I’ve been saying you’re…
91. LILLY: Stop it. We don’t have time for games. It’s hard enough coming here without you laughing at us. (COUGHING) We’re in trouble Mort. We’ve got nowhere else to turn.
92. MORT: Is this even on the level? ‘Cos I know all the dodges and if you need money, you don’t need to try and scam…
93. LILLY: It’s for real. We’re in trouble, deep, and need help as bad as can be.
94. MORT: I’m not sure what I can do for you, but…
95. CLAUDETTE: Mr. Cordova is after us… well, me… and…
96. MORT: Cordova? Caesar Cordova? The crime boss?
97. LILLY: (SARCASTIC) No, Caesar Cordova, the interior decorator. Who else could she mean?
98. MORT: (SUDDENLY SCARED) Are you kidding? (BEAT) Sorry, but I can’t be party to whatever you two have got mixed up in. Not if it means you’ve gotten on the wrong side of Cordova.
99. LILLY: What? Why?
100. MORT: You’ve got to go. Now.
101. LILLY: But…
102. MORT: Look, Lil. I have an arrangement with Cordova. Whatever mess you’re in, I can’t help you with it. You’re putting yourselves in danger by coming here… and me too.
103. LILLY: Come on, Mort. Rumour has it you’ve got some pull with Cordova – a deal of some kind. He tried to snatch Claudette off the street this morning. I want to pay him back for…
104. MORT: Lilly, no! You’re nuts.
105. LILLY: Coward!
106. CLAUDETTE: Mom!
107. LILLY: You damned coward. (COUGHING) This is my daughter’s life we’re talking about. Cordova wants Claudette.
108. MORT: Lil…?
109. LILLY: You know what that means. I’m not going to let her be forced into the life I escaped from. And we’re already on the run. Cordova will kill me to get to Claudette now.
110. MORT: Lil, what did you expect from me? You’ve never spoken the plain truth to me once in all the time I’ve known you. I’ve got no way of knowing if this is even for real… But I’ve got a very real deal with Cordova, one where we don’t interfere in each other’s business.
111. CLAUDETTE: But…
112. MORT: He’s never been into the stuff you’re talking about. Stealing kids? Prostitution? They aren’t his style. I can’t help you, Lil. I can’t.
113. LILLY: C’mon, Claudette. You heard the man. He won’t help us.
114. CLAUDETTE: No, mom. We’ve got to convince him…
115. LILLY: We’re leaving. Now.
116. CLAUDETTE: Mom, he’s our best hope. Without him we’ll be…
117. LILLY: Enough! We’re going.
118. MORT: I’m sorry, Lil.
119. LILLY: Go to hell.
120. SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND LILLY AND CLAUDETTE DEPART. SLAM’S SHUT.
121. JAKE: Well, that went well.
122. MORT: Don’t you start.
123. JAKE: You could have at least heard her out.
124. MORT: You know why I couldn’t. Cordova knows about Jesse and I know about him. I don’t pull the trigger on what I’ve got on him and he doesn’t pull the trigger on… well, you know what I mean.
125. JAKE: Yeah, I know.
126. MORT: Besides. Lil’s always been a grifter, and crazy vindictive to boot. There’s no telling what she was trying to get me into. Coming here after all these years? She’s never said two true words to me since she ran out on the court date. No, I’m betting she was playing some kind of angle. I had a close call is all.
127. JAKE: She was scared and you know it. But… whatever lets you sleep at night.
128. MORT: I haven’t got time for this. I need to finish the set-up for Mrs Hargreaves. She’ll be here soon.
129. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 8: EXT – STREET – LATE MORNING
(LILLY, CLAUDETTE, WAITRESS, STRANGER #1, STRANGER #2)

130. SOUND: STREET AMBIANCE – ESTABLISH AND FADE
131. CLAUDETTE: Mom! We have to go back.
132. LILLY: No. We don’t! That son of a… That man isn’t worth our time. He’s a coward. He’s a… (COUGHS HEAVILY, WHEEZES FOR A BIT)
133. CLAUDETTE: Please stop! Mom, you need to rest for a minute.
134. LILLY: No! (BEAT) Hang on. Let’s duck in here.
135. CLAUDETTE: The Diner?
136. LILLY: Sure. It’s got a phone.
137. CLAUDETTE: (HOPEFUL) You’re gonna call him?
138. LILLY: No. I’m gonna get even. And then I’ll find a way to hurt Cordova. This world works one way. You either bite or get bitten.
139. CLAUDETTE: But Mom!
140. LILLY: C’mon.
141. SOUND: DOOR OPENS, BELL JINGLES, DOOR CLOSES, STREET SOUND MUFFLES.
142. SOUND: LOW-RENT RESTAURANT AMBIANCE – ESTABLISH AND FADE
143. LILLY: Smell that, kid? That’s the smell of fried grease and despair. Cheap tables, cheaper food, and cheapest of all… the clients. I’ve bussed tables in more cheap dives like this than I care to count.
144. WAITRESS: (FRIENDLY) ‘Morning. Can I get you something?
145. LILLY: Thanks, but I haven’t had all my shots this month. I’m looking for your phone.
146. WAITRESS: (INSULTED) Over on the wall. We don’t give change though, (SNEERING) sorry.
147. LILLY: Figures.
148. CLAUDETTE: Mom, don’t do this. We need Mort’s help.
149. LILLY: We don’t need anyone, least of all him. The thing I want right now is to see him with a shiner on both those eyes
150. CLAUDETTE: Mom, please! Don’t mess this up! If you do this, he might never help us.
151. LILLY: We don’t want his help!
152. CLAUDETTE: But we do. We need it.
153. LILLY: Have I ever led you wrong? Haven’t I always looked after you?
154. CLAUDETTE: (HESITANT) Well, yeah, but…
155. LILLY: But what?
156. CLAUDETTE: Well… you lose your temper and it always makes things worse. This time it could be really bad.
157. LILLY: Don’t be ridiculous. (COUGHS HEAVILY) Sit quiet for a minute and let me work. (BEAT) (SULTRY) Well, hey fella!
158. STRANGER #1: Well hey, yourself.
159. LILLY: I was hoping you could do me a favour.
160. STRANGER #1: Anything you want, doll.
161. LILLY: (AMUSED) Uh-huh. Okay, so I was wondering if you’d make a phone call for me.
162. STRANGER #1: Huh?
163. LILLY: You did say “anything I want”.
164. STRANGER #1: Yeah, but…
165. LILLY: Here, I’ll write it out for you.
166. SOUND: SCRATCHING ON PAPER
167. LILLY: There. (BEAT) Here’s who to ask for… and this is the number.
168. STRANGER #1: Hey, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but this? No, I ain’t interested.
169. LILLY: (COUGHS AGAIN) Coward.
170. STRANGER #1: You always insult the people you’re attempting to manipulate? Cos if you do, then sister, you’re nuts.
171. LILLY: I could make it worth your while.
172. CLAUDETTE: Mom, he said “no”. Let’s go, okay.
173. STRANGER #1: Listen to the girl, sister. She’s got sense.
174. CLAUDETTE: I wasn’t talking to you.
175. LILLY: (COUGHS) Claudette, I told you to sit down.
176. STRANGER #1: Wanting someone to call that name and number? C’mon, the kid knows it’s crazy.
177. CLAUDETTE: You shut up, mister. You can’t call my mom names.
178. STRANGER: Really? You want to defend her, even when you know she’s wrong? Maybe you want to open your eyes a bit more.
179. LILLY: Why you…
180. STRANGER #2: (INTERRUPTING) I couldn’t help overhearing…
181. LILLY: What? (TRYING TO BRUSH HIM OFF). This has nothing to do with you.
182. STRANGER #2: …but I’d be happy to make your call for you… for a couple o’ bucks
183. LILLY: Ha! God bless capitalism.
184. STRANGER #1: D’ya know who it’s to? If you take my advice, you’ll steer clear, bub. But it’s your funeral.
185. STRANGER #2: Hey, times are tough. (BEAT) Well? You want me to make the call?
186. LILLY: Hang on a sec.
187. SOUND: JANGLING CROCKERY AND SPILLAGE
188. STRANGER #1: Hey!
189. LILLY: Oh, sorry! Was that your soup?
190. STRANGER #1: You crazy broad! That soup’s hot.
191. LILLY: (COUGHING – THEN SWEETLY) I said sorry.
192. STRANGER #1: Yeah, right. Dammit.
193. SOUND: WAITRESS AND STRANGER FUSSING IN BACKGROUND – ADLIB. UNDER.
194. STRANGER #2: (STAGE WHISPER) Heh. I saw you take his wallet, by the way. And he’ll be too busy getting cleaned up to notice it’s gone for a few minutes.
195. LILLY: I figure he can afford it. Here’s your two bucks.
196. STRANGER #2: Thanks.
197. SOUND: PHONE PICK UP AND HANDLE TURN. DIALS NUMBER.
198. STRANGER #2: (BEAT) Yeah, is this Cordova’s joint. Word is you’re looking for Lilly and Claudette Moreland?
199. CLAUDETTE: Mom!
200. STRANGER #2: Yeah? Well I seen ’em coming out o’… Mort Flintwich’s place up on 43rd. You might still be able to get to ’em if you hurry.
201. (BEAT) Yeah. You’re welcome.
202. CLAUDETTE: (DESPAIRING) You’re ruining everything.
203. SOUND: PHONE HANG UP.
204. STRANGER #2: Well sister, it was nice doing business with you. If that number really belongs to Caesar Cordova, you’ve dumped this Flintwich guy into a world o’ hurt.
205. LILLY: Maybe. But it wouldn’t do for you to get too curious, okay?
206. STRANGER: It’s not my circus so these ain’t my monkeys. See you around.
207. LILLY: Come on Claudette.
208. CLAUDETTE: (MUTTERING) You shouldn’t have done that! You want to get even, more than you want to keep me safe.
209. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 9: INT – MORT’S OFFICE – LATE MORNING
(THUG #1, THUG #2, MORT, JAKE, MRS. HARGREAVES)

210. MORT: [CUE] (FALSELY EFFUSIVE) Mrs Hargreaves, how wonderful to see you again. I hope you’ve been well.
211. JAKE: Oh, for Pete’s sake.
212. MRS HARGREAVES: (LOFTILY) Oh, Mr Flintwich. One does one’s best in trying circumstances.
213. JAKE: Such a chore to lift that silver spoon, isn’t it, Mrs.?
214. MORT: Indeed, Mrs Hargreaves. Indeed. And have you been practicing the exercises I gave you.
215. MRS HARGREAVES: Oh, yes, Mr Flintwich I have. Those sensitivity exercises you gave me have been doing wonders. I can feel myself sitting on the threshold of the supernatural, and oh, the wonder of it. It takes my breath away. Do you feel you can truly help me to make contact with the other side?
216. JAKE: He can make contact with your wallet.
217. MORT: (AHEM) There are no guarantees, but you have been showing a rare aptitude. I have been reluctant to take private students as you know.
218. MRS. HARGREAVES: Yes?
219. MORT: And if it weren’t for my recent financial reversal, I would never part with the secrets that my master, Satipu Feng, entrusted to me so long ago.
220. MRS HARGREAVES: Oh, I’m sure he would approve of your actions if he knew of your poor sister.
221. JAKE: Seriously, Mort? The sick sister routine?
222. MORT: Your sympathy is such a comfort, dear lady. I am fortunate that it is you and not someone less worthy on whom I must bestow these gifts.
223. MRS. HARGREAVES: Oh thankyou, Mr. Flintwich.
224. MORT: Er. I take it you have brought your payment…
225. SOUND: DOOR CRASHES OPEN – LET IT FINISH
226. MRS. HARGREAVES: (CRIES OUT IN FRIGHT) Aaah!
227. JULIO: Don’t anybody move. You? Are you Mort Flintwich?
228. MORT: (CALMLY) Gentlemen. You could have just knocked?
229. JULIO: Says you. We’ve had some troublesome packages to pick up today.
230. MORT: Going by the black eye you’re sporting, I’d say people have been a little… uncooperative?
231. JULIO: You can talk. That’s quite the shiner you got, yourself.
232. MRS HARGREAVES: (SCARED) Do you know these men, Mr Flintwich?
233. JULIO: Us? No. He don’t know us. But he knows our boss, Mr Cordova.
234. MORT: (HASTILY) And I think perhaps this conversation should be held in private. (TO MRS HARGREAVES, BUT WITH EXAGGERATED POLITENESS) Mrs Hargreaves, I’m sorry for the interruption but the men with the guns appear quite insistent that I speak with them.
235. MRS HARGREAVES: (NERVOUSLY) Uh, yes… er…
236. MORT: (CONTINUING CALMLY) Would you mind if we rescheduled your appointment for a more suitable time? Gentlemen, I’m sure you don’t need Mrs Hargreaves here during our chat?
237. JULIO: (MOCKING) During our “chat”? Why no, not at all. (TO MRS H. ) Lady, you can scram.
238. MRS. HARGREAVES: Thank you Mr. Flintwich. Er… I can see myself out. But, um, I don’t think I’ll be needing another appointment, if it’s all the same to you.
239. MORT: Oh?
240. MRS. HARGREAVES: No. I think that I… er, goodbye, Mr. Flintwich.
241. SOUND: DOOR SWINGS OPEN AND BROKENLY CLOSED
242. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) You think she’ll squawk?
243. JULIO: Her? Nah. She’s one o’ those society dames. She’ll have forgotten about Flintwich by the time she hits the ground floor.
244. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) I could still…
245. JULIO: No, you couldn’t. You know what the boss’ rules are. No civilian casualties.
246. SANCHO: (DISAPPOINTED) Sure, Julio.
247. MORT: You know, you boys have done more in two minutes to cost me business than the paid bruisers who jumped me this morning.
248. SANCHO: Huh?
249. MORT: Doesn’t matter. So, what’s going on? Mr. Cordova and I have an arrangement. I don’t mess with his business and he stays out of mine.
250. JULIO: Yeah, well. You’ve been seen meddling in Mr. Cordova’s business and he’s a bit put out. That means Mr. Cordova no longer feels he needs to honour your agreement. Now where’s the girl?
251. MORT: What? Come on fellas, you gotta give me more than that? We can talk this over, civilized like, can’t we?.
252. JULIO: We’re looking for Lil Moreland and her kid, Claudette. We know they was here.
253. MORT: Oh, you do, huh? Well I ain’t hiding it. They were here. About an hour ago. They asked me for some money to get out of town.
254. JULIO: Why’s that? Who’re you to them?
255. MORT: I know Lil from, well, from back-a-ways. She said she had some trouble with Mr. Cordova and… If you’re here then I guess that must be true. Anyway, I stuck to my agreement and sent ’em packing.
256. JULIO: And you didn’t think to send Mr. Cordova a message.
257. MORT: Lil’s a grifter from way back. I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t some kind of con. A variation on the old “knight in shining armour” gag.
258. JULIO: So?
259. MORT: So I wasn’t going to bother Mr. Cordova over something like that. Like I said, I stuck to my agreement and sent them on their way. (BEAT)
260. JULIO: What if we don’t believe you?
261. MORT: Well, I can’t help that, but it doesn’t bother me much. When you boys first burst in here, I gotta admit, I was worried. I thought someone was fixing to put me on the spot.
262. SANCHO: Someone still might.
263. MORT: But now I know what it’s about, I can see this can be cleared up easy enough. I need to talk to Mr. Cordova. (BEAT) He does want to see me in person, right?
264. JULIO: Yeah. Sure. In person.
265. MORT: So, I can explain everything and it’s all gonna be fine. But I’d feel better about it if you’d have a drink with me. I got a bottle of pretty good rye in my pocket.
266. SOUND: CLINK OF BOTTLE.
267. JULIO: Any glasses?
268. MORT: Sure. On that shelf behind you.
269. SOUND: CLINK OF GLASSES.
270. SOUND: POURING THREE GLASSES
271. MORT: Salute. Here’s to sorting things out. (GULPS)
272. COP: (AMAZED – AT A DISTANCE) What the hell’s happened here? Mr. Flintwich? Are you there?
273. SOUND: GUNS BEING COCKED.
274. JULIO: (STAGE WHISPER) It’s a flat foot. (TO MORT) Get rid of him.
275. MORT: (SOTTO VOCE) Uh, yeah. (BEAT – NORMAL VOLUME) Oh, hello officer. I didn’t see you there.
276. COP: Your door’s taken some damage, Mr. Flintwich. Is everything okay?
277. MORT: Uh, sure. There was an attempted break-in over-night. Nothing taken, so it looks like it’s vandalism. I’ve got a locksmith on the way.
278. COP: Is that right? Maybe I should come in.
279. MORT: Oh, it’s no big deal…
280. COP: Only, I saw a Mrs. Hargreaves on the street while I was doing my beat, and she seemed to think that…
281. JULIO: Well, I guess you’d better come in after all, Copper. And put your hands up.
282. SANCHO: I told you.
283. MORT: Easy fellas…
284. COP: I know you, you’re Cordova’s guys.
285. JULIO: Yeah, and we know you too. You’re outta the eighth precinct. That makes you on the payroll of the Boscone gang. It was a bunch of you guys that provided the muscle for the hit on our distillery a couple ‘o nights back.
286. COP: That was business. You don’t want to do anything stupid here. It don’t matter who’s side you’re on if you get labelled a cop killer.
287. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) Don’t go threatenin’ us. Some good friends died cos’ a you bums.
288. COP: Yeah, well, you should be more careful who you associate with.
289. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) Why, you…
290. SOUND: GUNSHOT. BODY DROP
291. MORT: Aw, hell! You just shot a cop in the head.
292. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) A dirty cop. (BEAT) Yeah, I shot him. What of it?
293. MORT: You’ve made me an accessory, for one thing.
294. JULIO: Damn it, Sancho. You never think.
295. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) You should have let me deal with the dame in the first place.
296. MORT: Hell. I’ve got the guy’s blood on my face. Let me go splash some water on.
297. JULIO: That your bathroom back there?
298. MORT: Yeah.
299. JULIO: Sancho, wait here while I check it before he goes in. And drag the body out of the doorway. I don’t want anyone else gettin’ plugged if we can help it. Maybe roll it up in one o’ these rugs.
300. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS
301. SOUND: DOOR OPENS
302. SANCHO : (STUTTERING) Well? Any other exits?
303. JULIO: (AT A DISTANCE – APPROACHING) Nah. There’s a window, but he ain’t leavin’ that way unless he can fly. (BEAT) Alright. I guess you can go wash your face. That shiner’s lookin’ none too pretty. Who give it to you? The girl?
304. MORT: I think she woulda liked to, after I told her I wouldn’t help, but no. I got that this morning when I was picking up a late breakfast.
305. JULIO: You’re a popular guy.
306. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS – UNDER.
307. MORT: (AT A DISTANCE) Tell me about it.
308. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) Are we gonna just walk him out o’ here?
309. JULIO: If he’s willing to come on his own…
310. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) Then he’s dumber ‘n paint…
311. JULIO: …but it’s all the better for us.
312. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) Cordova ain’t gonna let him live after this.
313. JULIO: And whose fault is that? The boss ain’t gonna be too happy about you killing the copper.
314. SANCHO: (STUTTERING) He was workin’ fer the other side. We woulda had to do something about him at some time, anyway.
315. JULIO: Bah! The boss had a reason for keepin’ Flintwich alive. This complicates things.
316. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

SCENE 10: INT – BATHROOM
(MORT, JAKE)

317. SOUND: WATER IN TAP – UNDER.
318. MORT: (BARELY HOLDING HIMSELF TOGETHER) Damnit! They shot a cop.
319. JAKE: You gotta get outta here Mort.
320. MORT: (PANIC SETTING IN) They shot a cop!
321. JAKE: Snap out of it and think!
322. MORT: I could try going with them. See if I can find an opportunity to…
323. JAKE: No. You don’t get it. Cordova’s not gonna be happy with a simple “chat”. He’s gonna wanna be certain you don’t know where those girls are.
324. MORT: And he won’t be any too gentle putting the questions to me. Even if he believes me, I’ll end up with some broken bones.
325. JAKE: And he can’t let you go if you’re a witness to a cop-killing. When the “chat’s” over, they’ll be taking you out into the woods and putting you in a shallow grave.
326. MORT: I know, damnit!
327. JAKE: So what are you gonna do?
328. MORT: Um…, there’s a ledge below the window. It’s hard to see, so Julio missed it.
329. JAKE: Yeah, I see it.
330. MORT: I’ve used it before and it leads round the side of the building to the fire escape.
331. JAKE: Looks dangerous.
332. MORT: Sure, but if I’m lucky, I’ll be half a block away before Cordova’s goons realize I’m gone.
333. JAKE: Well, you better move quick is all I can say.
334. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 11: EXT – ALLEYWAY – MID-DAY
(MORT, JAKE)

335. SOUND: ALLEY AMBIANCE (DISTANT CARS AND STREET NOISES) – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
336. JAKE: Damn, but those two women must be in some genuine hot water. This is the second time today you’ve ended up in an alley full of stinking garbage. At least it’s on purpose this time.
337. MORT: Shut up, Jake. (BEAT) It looks like those goons are coming out of the building now. Damned if they don’t look mad. We need to keep right out of their way.
338. JAKE: At least they’re carrying that rug with ’em. They’re not leaving a body up in your office. What are you gonna do?
339. MORT: For a start, I’m gonna sneak back in and get some of my stuff. Then I’m gonna see about negotiating with Caesar Cordova from a safe distance. He knows I’ve got enough on him from the old days to make his life real…
340. SOUND: DISTANT EXPLOSION – LET IT FINISH
341. JAKE: What the hell? That was your office. (BEAT) Those girls must be in way more trouble than you thought.
342. MORT: Son of a… What the hell has Lilly dropped me in?
343. JAKE: Nothing smelling like roses.
344. MORT: Aw, hell… Jesse!
345. JAKE: Huh?
346. MORT: Cordova knows all about Jesse… at the hospital. She’s the leverage on his side of the agreement. He’ll be sending his goons for her… if he hasn’t already.
347. JAKE: I thought we didn’t talk about Jesse.
348. MORT: Jake, so help me… If he’s hurt a hair on her head, I’m going to see he goes to the electric chair.
349. JAKE: Only if you can avoid getting snuffed yourself. How’d this agreement work between you two?
350. MORT: I don’t spill what I know to the cops and he lets Jesse live.
351. JAKE: Then he isn’t gonna kill her… at least not right away. He’ll send his boys to collect her and ensure your cooperation.
352. MORT: We’ve got to get to the hospital. Fast.
353. MUSIC: RAPID TIME PASSING SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH

SCENE 12: (INT) HOSPITAL – EARLY AFTERNOON
(NURSE, MORT, JAKE)

354. NURSE: [CUE] Mr. Flintwich! This is a hospital. You can’t rush in to… Mr. Flintwich?
355. MORT: Where is she?
356. NURSE: That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I thought you knew. Some men arrived half an hour ago to transfer her to City Central Hospital. They had papers with your signature on them.
357. MORT: Call City Central now. Find out if they have any record of a transfer.
358. NURSE: Uh. Yes, sir. *(UNDER FROM HERE AND FADE) Yes. Operator. Give me City Central hospital, please. This is urgent.
359. JAKE: Chances are, City Central won’t know anything about this transfer. You know that, right?
360. MORT: Yeah. (BEAT) Damn I hate the smell of hospitals. It gives me the creeps being here.
361. JAKE: Is that why you never seem to visit?
362. MORT: (DEFENSIVE) Hey, I visit.
363. NURSE: Mr. Flintwich, you were right. City Central Hospital have no record of the transfer. Should I call the police?
364. MORT: Yeah. Do it now. (BEAT) Damn and hell! Think… Think! I can’t fight Cordova. He’s too big. If I run, he’ll kill Jesse – but that’ll guarantee his own end, won’t it?.
365. JAKE: You don’t have enough information and this whole situation is spiralling out of control. You need to find Lilly and the kid and figure out what’s behind all this.
366. MORT: Jake, I’ve got a new plan. There’s a safe house that I set up, years ago – when Caesar and I weren’t such good friends. We’ll stop by my apartment on the way.
367. JAKE: You know, your place is being watched, right?
368. MORT: One thing at a time.
369. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 13: (INT) MORT’S APARTMENT – MID AFTERNOON
(MORT, JAKE)

370. SOUND: WINDOW SILL RAISING
371. JAKE: Windows again? You can’t seem to keep away from ’em today.
372. MORT: Shut up. The good news is those goons sitting out the front mean there’s no one inside.
373. JAKE: And climbing in through the window means you get to avoid ’em while keeping most of your teeth. (BEAT) They sure did look sore didn’t they?
374. MORT: Yeah, well. Caesar Cordova isn’t great with failure, so I figure they’re pretty motivated to find us right now.
375. JAKE: So what’s in here that made all that climbing worthwhile?
376. MORT: I figure I’m not coming back for a few days. I’m going to need some clothes. And I’ve got a little money in the safe.
377. JAKE: I guess it’s worth a little risk to make sure you’ve got some dough in your pockets. (BEAT) Sheesh, you could clean the place up a bit. It’s not like a one-room apartment needs a lot of effort to keep tidy.
378. MORT: The place has been tossed, smart guy.
379. JAKE: How can you tell?
380. MORT: Funny.
381. JAKE: Did they get into your safe?
382. SOUND: KEY AND SAFE DOOR
383. MORT: Doesn’t look like it. I’ve got about two hundred and fifty in here, plus some change. Hey, keep away from my bed. I sleep there, you know?
384. JAKE: What? You afraid I’ll get a look at the magazines you keep under it?
385. MORT: Only if you think there’s something scandalous about model trains. Aw hell, look what they did to my ice box? The doors been ripped off.
386. JAKE: I wouldn’t want to be in here in a day or two. That food is gonna smell ripe.
387. MORT: Not much I can do about it now. Not without tipping them off to my having been here. Hey, what’s that?
388. JAKE: What?
389. MORT: It’s an envelope. It’s been left under the door.
390. JAKE: It’s addressed to you.
391. SOUND: ENVELOPE TEARING
392. MORT: Damn!
393. JAKE: Who’s it from?
394. MORT: It’s from Cordova. Who else? At least I know why he doesn’t have his goons camping in my kitchen now.
395. JAKE: So, come on. What’s he want?
396. SOUND: UNFOLDING NOTE
397. MORT: Ha. He says all will be forgiven if I hand over the girls… and that he’ll return Jesse to the hospital… unharmed. He’s given me until tomorrow midnight.
398. JAKE: Hey, Mort. You wouldn’t really…
399. MORT: Nah. I may be all kinds of heel, but I still wouldn’t turn them over to Cordova… at least, not without knowing what this is about.
400. JAKE: And besides, if Cordova’s got it into his head that you’ve betrayed him, then there’s no way he’s gonna honour a deal like this, even if you do comply.
401. MORT: (MUSING) Tomorrow midnight. That’s not long.
402. JAKE: No kidding.
403. MORT: He’s probably gonna want me dead.
404. JAKE: And you still have no idea where those women have gone.
405. MORT: Well, I’m about to remedy that.
406. JAKE: How?
407. MORT: You’re forgetting who I am. Once I’ve got my gear, I’m going to get some help… this time from a real ghost.
408. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

ACT 2

SCENE 14: INT – THE SEWERS – AFTERNOON
(MORT, JAKE, JENNY – THE GHOST)

409. SOUND: DRIPS AND SPLASHES OF A TUNNEL
410. SOUND: APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS SPLASHING THROUGH WATER
411. JAKE: I know you want to avoid Cordova’s guys, but this? Is travelling by sewer necessary?
412. MORT: (SLIPS) Whoa. Aw hell.
413. JAKE: What?
414. MORT: I leaned against the damn wall. Slime. As if the smell wasn’t bad enough.
415. JAKE: So why are we here?
416. MORT: I’m looking for someone.
417. JAKE: Down here? You can’t see your hand in front of your face.
418. MORT: All the same. I’m looking for Jenny Mulrooney. She was murdered last century and her body was dumped down here.
419. JAKE: Hang on. You mean you weren’t kidding about looking for a ghost?
420. MORT: I think she haunts the sewers somewhere right about…
421. JENNY – THE GHOST: ‘Oy! What the ‘ell are you doin’ down ‘ere, Mort Flintwich?
422. MORT: Jenny! There you are. I’ve been looking for you.
423. JENNY: Well, you found me. What do you want?
424. MORT: Straight to the point as usual. You need to get in touch with your humanity from time to time, you know that? And it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.
425. JENNY: Oh, but I’m not ‘uman, am I? And getting less so. It’s why you check up on me.
426. MORT: Uh-huh. And if you won’t give in and let me help you find your rest, one day you’ll lose what’s left of your humanity and become a spectre… and then I’ll have to banish you.
427. JENNY: I don’t think you’ll be around long enough for that to ever be a problem, even if you live to be an ‘undred. And given your lifestyle choices, I doubt you’ll make ‘alf that.
428. JAKE: It’s probably true, but she still shouldn’t say it.
429. JENNY: Have you still got that voice in your ‘ead, Mort?
430. MORT: Yep.
431. JENNY: And you still don’t think it’s a genuine ghost?
432. MORT: Do you?
433. JENNY: ‘ard to say. It’s rare, but there are some ghosts what the rest of us can’t ‘ear. ‘e could be one o’ them.
434. MORT: He’s not.
435. JENNY: Suit yerself. But you ‘aven’t come all the way down ‘ere fer a chat? I’ll ask again, and you’ll answer sharpish or I’m off. What do you want?
436. MORT: I want a favour.
437. JENNY: You’re jokin’?
438. MORT: No. I need someone found. And I know you can do it.
439. JENNY: Oh, I can do it all right. But you also know why I ‘ang about down ‘ere instead of up ‘igher. I’m not riskin’ a trip topside for you or anybody. I don’t care ‘ow close to bein’ friends we might be.
440. MORT: It’s important.
441. JENNY: The answer’s “no”. There are things up there – you know what I’m talkin’ about – that’ll eat the likes of me for supper. It’s too risky.
442. MORT: You know Caesar Cordova’s on my trail?
443. JENNY: You know I’ve got no interest in the world of the living.
444. MORT: (FRUSTRATED) Then what do you have an interest in, Jenny. Tell me?
445. JENNY: Since you ask. What I’m interested in, is being owed a favour by Mort Flintwich.
446. JAKE: Oh, hell no!
447. JENNY: I can see you’re in a tight spot, Mort. If this is as urgent and important as you say, I’ll consider it… for a blood service.
448. JAKE: Don’t even think about agreeing to this, Mort.
449. MORT: A blood service?
450. JENNY: Uh-huh. You’ll owe me a service, sealed in blood. An irrevocable bindin’ service. A favour that, when it comes due, you won’t be able to refuse.
451. MORT: No.
452. JENNY: It won’t be anything you would… object to.
453. MORT:
454. It could be anything you damn well choose and you know it.
455. JENNY: No, we’ll make a pact. It might be risky, maybe even very risky, but it won’t be anythin’ you’d find morally objectionable. I’ll even leave you the option of refusing the task if it offends yer… sense of honour.
456. MORT: You think I don’t have one.
457. JENNY: Oh, but I know you do, buried… deep… down. So, what do you say? ‘ow important to you is finding ‘oo-ever it is yer lookin’ for.
458. MORT: And you expect me to agree, without knowing what it is you want?
459. JENNY: Fer now. All I want is a promise to keep in my pocket.
460. MORT: You know, it won’t stop me from banishing you if you turn into a spectre, don’t you? Not if you leave my conscience free of the binding?
461. JENNY: I know. So, ‘ow much is my ‘elp worth to you?
462. JAKE: Mort, you can’t be considering this!
463. MORT: It’s worth a lot, Jenny. I’m in a mess that I don’t understand. Cordova’s taken Jesse and I need to know why. (BEAT) If you can help, I’ll do what you ask.
464. JENNY: (CACKLES WITH GLEE) You always were a reckless one, Mort. It’s why you’ve always been my favourite. Among the mediums, that is. Who do you need me to find?
465. MORT: A woman and her daughter. Lilly and Claudette Moreland. You’ll sense the daughter long before you see her. She’s active.
466. JENNY: Active ‘ow?
467. MORT: I’ve no idea. But there’s power there. And a criminal named Caesar Cordova wants it.
468. JENNY: Interesting. But what’s that got to do with Jesse?
469. MORT: Cordova has Jesse and he wants me to find the women. Like I said, I’ve got to untangle the threads of this thing before I can fix it, and these two women are at the heart of it all. I’ve got to find them for a start.
470. JENNY: Alright, did you bring anything they’ve ‘andled?
471. MORT: I’ve got this from the girl. It’s a paper flower.
472. JENNY: It’ll do and then some. That flower reeks of power. Put it down on that brick over there. Try not to ‘andle it too much. It’s already been in your button-hole longer than is good. I don’t want the residuals to get any more contaminated than they already are. (BEAT) Yeah, that’s it. Now prick your finger and leave a drop of blood on it.
473. MORT: You agree to the condition that my conscience remain unfettered?
474. JENNY: I do. And you agree to provide me with one service in exchange for this help… or die trying?
475. MORT: I do.
476. JENNY: Good. Now step away. I think I can find ‘er easy enough. Do you ‘ave anything from this “Cordova” character with you as well?
477. MORT: I’ve got a letter he sent me, but what’s that to you?
478. JENNY: It’s not important; just a ‘unch, but let me ‘ave a look at it as well.
479. MORT: And this has no bearing on the pact or the service?
480. JENNY: No. Consider this a bit o’ good will. No charge.
481. MORT: Alright. I’ll put it here, beside the flower.
482. JENNY: Ooh, did you know he was active as well? There’s a distinct trace of power on it.
483. MORT: (SURPRISED) No, I didn’t. And I’d have noticed. We’ve met on more than one occasion.
484. JENNY: It’s new. ‘e’s still learning ‘is way around it. You’re gonna want to be careful, Mort. (BEAT) Alright, I’ll be back in a jiffy.
485. MORT: Wait. He’s holding a friend of mine. Jesse. If you’re going to poke around his place, can you see what you can find out about her too?
486. JENNY: That wasn’t part of our bargain.
487. MORT: But as you’re planning to look around anyway?
488. JENNY: Heh. I’ll see what I can do. Wait ‘ere.
489. SOUND: WHOOSHING NOISE
490. JAKE: Is it my imagination, or did she affect the air in here with her departure?
491. MORT: When a ghost’s been around long enough they can have a small impact on the world around them. Jenny was active when she was alive, so she’s more powerful than most.
492. JAKE: By “active” you mean…
493. MORT: Powerful. Magical. Supernaturally gifted. Whatever term you like.
494. JAKE: I think you’re going to regret the deal you made with her.
495. MORT: Oh, I know I will.
496. JAKE: So why’d you do it then?
497. MORT: I think I should have agreed to help Lilly and her girl right from the start.
498. JAKE: I hate to say I told you so…
499. MORT: No you don’t. It’s one of your favourite things.
500. JAKE: Okay, that’s true. But if you’d listened to me in the first place…
501. MORT: Yeah, yeah. Save it. Between the cold, the sewer stink, and you, I’m not sure what’s worse.
502. JAKE: Hmpf!
503. MORT: I better grab those bits and pieces I put out for Jenny while I’m thinking about it. I’m not sure I want them falling into the hands of anyone who might come across them down here.
504. MUSIC: TIME PASSING TRANSITION – LET IT FINISH.
505. SOUND: DRIPS SPLASHES IN A TUNNEL
506. MORT: (SNORING) FADE UP.
507. SOUND: WHOOSH
508. JENNY: Well, ‘ello again. ‘aving a nice little kip are we?
509. SOUND: DULL THUMP ON WALL
510. MORT: (WAKES WITH A START) Ow! Damn it. I must have fallen asleep.
511. JENNY: That or they built a train line through ‘ere while I was out.
512. JAKE: You’ve just arrived. You should have been here for the whole recital.
513. MORT: I’m cold and wet and I smell foul. I’m not in the mood for what passes for ghost humour. What did you find?
514. JENNY: Poor baby. Things are worse up there than I remember. There are more o’ them things roamin’ about. I ‘ad to work pretty ‘ard to avoid ’em.
515. MORT: Ahuh. What did you find?
516. JENNY: Now ‘oo’s straight to the point, eh?
517. MORT: Jenny?
518. JENNY: Alright, alright. ‘ere it is. The women are ‘iding out in an alley way, back o’ “Smith’s” on North Avenue. Their waitin’ fer it to get dark enough to make a run for it.
519. MORT: Thanks. That’s what I needed to know.
520. JENNY: ‘ang on a minute. That’s not all. I ‘ad a look into this Caesar Cordova and you need to ‘ear this. ‘e’s active alright, active and scared. You didn’t tell me there’s a war going on up there.
521. MORT: Yeah, well. You said you weren’t interested in the world ‘o the living.
522. JENNY: No, but I am interested when powerful magic starts getting thrown about by amateurs… and Cordova’s an amateur. A powerful one too.
523. MORT: Wait. Did you see Jesse? Tell me about that first.
524. JENNY: Alright. ‘E’s got an unconscious woman upstairs in a bed. There’s a guard on the door. ‘Is men were talking about ‘ow no-one’s allowed to go near ‘er.
525. MORT: Well that confirms that. Do you know what he wants?
526. JENNY: ‘E’s got some nasty rituals and spells in ‘is office. It looks like ‘e’s been workin’ some dangerous stuff. ‘Is eyes are gone and ‘e was able to see me.
527. MORT: What?
528. JENNY: That’s right. ‘e’s got some kind o’ magical vision. It’s creepy. I got outta there quick smart, but not before I saw some things you’re gonna be interested in.
529. MORT: Okay, I’ll bite. What’d you see?
530. JENNY: The mansion’s got a marble foyer ‘e’s done up with a summoning circle for conducting rituals. I saw the text ‘e’s using. It’s a ritual to open a gate to… somewhere else.
531. JAKE: Could she be any more cryptic?
532. JENNY: You and I both know that there ‘ave been more and more o’ them outworlders finding their way into our world from beyond. I think ‘e intends to open a gate and let ’em all through in a flood.
533. JAKE: You gotta be kiddin’ me?
534. MORT: And what’s that got to do with him wanting Claudette?
535. JENNY: This ritual can’t be done alone. It needs at least two more powerful practitioners to ‘elp it ‘appen.
536. MORT: But Claudette’s only one.
537. JENNY: And that’s what’s got me worried the most. Cordova’s an amateur. But someone’s been feeding ‘im this stuff. Someone ‘oo does know what they’re about.
538. MORT: How do you mean?
539. JENNY: I think there’s someone at back o’ this ‘oo’s more dangerous than anyone you’ve dealt with so far.
540. MORT: Well, that’s a problem for later. Right now, I’m interested in finding the two women and getting Jesse back.
541. JENNY: Then, I think I’ve got some bad news for you. See…
542. JAKE: Don’t do it…
543. JENNY: I think I’m going to cash in that favour almost right away.
544. JAKE: Damn it!
545. MORT: What?
546. JENNY: Yeah. If that gate is opened, this city’s gonna be flooded with them monsters and there’s gonna be nowhere that’ll be safe from ’em. In fact, I’m gonna bet that the entire ‘uman species is gonna be in danger. You’re gonna ‘ave to stop ’em Mort.
547. MORT: What???
548. JENNY: You ‘eard me. That’s your task, your service. You ‘ave to stop Cordova. If’n ‘e opens ‘is gate… you ‘ave to close it as quickly as possible and drive the monsters back out.
549. MORT: Just that? I’m glad you didn’t want to set me something impossible.
550. JENNY: You can’t refuse… and the pact will activate within a few seconds of ‘im opening that gate.
551. MORT: But this is…
552. JENNY: This doesn’t violate your conscience in any way. And… it’s bound up with your current objective of finding the girl. If you get to that alleyway sharpish, you can find ‘er and stop Cordova from ever using ‘er in ‘is ritual.
553. MORT: And assuming I find her, how do you suggest I manage that?
554. JENNY: Why, kill ‘er of course.
555. JAKE: Oh, you idiot, Mort!
556. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.
557. NARRATOR: Can Mort survive long enough to rescue Jesse from Cordova without selling out Claudette and her mother? Can he find a way to close the gate without killing the little girl? Tune in to episode 3 and find out.
558. MUSIC: CLOSING THEME AND CREDITS.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Philip Craig Robotham grew up in a house full of books and has held numerous jobs as a teacher, computer programmer, graphic and web designer, an e-learning consultant and, most recently, writer. He currently lives in Victoria, Australia with his wife and two sons. When he was younger and fitter he enjoyed martial arts, but in recent years his hobbies have tended towards more sedate fare (board games, movies, books, and role-playing games).

He is extremely grateful for the encouragement he receives from his biggest fans — his wife and two boys — all of whom read and enjoy his scripts and, in general, make his life worth living.

You can contact the author regarding performance rights (or simply to say hello) through his website: https://www.weirdworldstudios.com.

THE END

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The post Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War – Episode 2 – Never Send to Know appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War

EPISODE #1 – No Good Deed

by Philip Craig Robotham

Cover illustration by Philip Craig Robotham

Copyright 2022 Philip Craig Robotham

Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) Edition.

This play is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) International license. This play may not be commercially reproduced, performed, or sold.   Non-commercial production, performance, and reproduction are allowed under this license so long as attribution is maintained.  No derivative content or use is allowed.  It can be freely shared in its current form (without change) under this license.  If you would like to purchase one or more copies of this work (for your own personal non-commercial use, or to help financially support the author) then please return to https://www.weirdworlstudios.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Episode 1: No Good Deed

Mort Flintwich considers himself a charlatan… but he can see ghosts – real ghosts. Claudette Moreland is a kid with a supernatural gift. And a gangster named Caesar Cordova wants to use her to win a gang war. Star City is getting stranger.

No Good Deed

CAST LIST

MORT FLINTWICH

JAKE SPENCER

CAESAR CORDOVA

MADAM SOFIA MALEFICENT

LILLY MORELAND

CLAUDETTE MORELAND

WU CHENG

OUTWORLDER SPOKESBEING

BRUNO

JULIO

SANCHO

LITTLE GIRL IN TRAFFIC

JIMMY

STAN

CHARITY COLLECTOR

DOCTOR

RECEPTIONIST

WAITRESS

CUSTOMER #1

CUSTOMER #2

WOMAN (KNOCKED OVER BY LILLY AND SANCHO)

MRS HARGREAVES

POLICEMAN #1 (WHO DIES)

POLICEMAN #2 (AT WAREHOUSE)

POLICEMAN #3 (AT WAREHOUSE)

SCRUG

SCRAT

OUTWORLDER (RIVAL TO THE SPOKESBEING)

OUTWORLDER MINION (KILLED WITH SWORD ON STREET CORNER)

OUTWORLDER MINION (ATTACKING LILLY)

OUTWORLDERS

GANGSTER SPOKESMAN

GANGSTERS

OUTWORLDER LEADER

SFX ARTISTS

ACT 1

SCENE 1 : EXT – STREET – MORNING
(MORT, JAKE, GIRL, CHARITY COLLECTOR, STAN, JIMMY)

1. MUSIC: OPENING THEME – LET IT FINISH.
2. NARRATOR: Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War, Episode 1: No Good Deed.
   It’s Morning on a gray day in 1934. The grimy streets of Star City are full of the exhaust fumes of morning traffic.
3. SOUND: STREET AMBIANCE (CARS, PEOPLE, ETC.) – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
4. SOUND: MORT’S FOOTSTEPS – ESTABLISH AND FADE.
5. MORT FLINTWICH: For a hallucination, Jake, you’re quite the nag. I just want a sandwich.
6. JAKE SPENCER: It’s 9.00 am! You keep filling up like this and you’re gonna end up like me.
7. MORT: Non-existent and neurotic?
8. JAKE: Funny guy. No, big as a house instead of your current skinny shape.
9. MORT: (DISMISSIVE) Pah!
10. JAKE: And I’m not the neurotic here. You’re the one who thinks he’s talking to himself in the middle of a busy street.
11. MORT: Hey, a little odd behavior is good for business. I’m a medium, remember?
12. JAKE: Yeah sure – Mort Flintwich, medium for hire. Freelance charlatan to the rich and famous. How’s that working out for you?
13. MORT: Meh!
14. JAKE: (SNORTS) Uh-huh.
15. MORT: People get a good show when they come to me, even if I do cost.
16. JAKE: For someone who tells lies for a living, you’re your own best customer.
17. MORT: Not this again.
18. JAKE: You’re not a charlatan, Mort. You can talk to ghosts. The real deal. And I should know.
19. MORT: (WEARILY) Here we go.
20. JAKE: ‘Cos I’m a ghost and you’re talking to me in the middle of a crowded city street.
21. MORT: I’ve spoken to plenty of ghosts, Jake, and you’re not one. You’re the result of head trauma.
22. JAKE: Bah!
23. MORT: (PETULANT) My scrambled brain made you up.
24. JAKE: Rubbish. You’re not that creative.
25. MORT: (STUBBORNLY) You’re NOT a ghost.
26. JAKE: Uh-huh. Have it your own way. (BEAT) Why do you pretend to talk to ghosts when you could be doing it for real?
27. MORT: Ghosts have been getting scarce. These days I end up dealing with… other things. Tricksters. Some folks call them outworlders.
28. JAKE: (SKEPTICAL) Tricksters, Mort? Seriously?
29. MORT: I don’t know what they are underneath, but they ain’t spirits. I’d rather be an old-fashioned charlatan than deal with those things.
30. JAKE: (STILL SKEPTICAL) Uh-huh.
31. MORT: And they look wrong too. Four arms, a tail, a head full of evil looking teeth. They’re something else, something alien.
32. JAKE: (SCOFFING) Pfffft! Maybe you are damaged in the head.
33. MORT: (RAISING VOICE IN EXASPERATION) That’s what I’ve been saying.
34. JAKE: Hey, keep it down. People will stare.
35. MORT: Like anyone pays attention in this city? Break a leg in front of this lot and they’ll trample each other to get away from you. People gave up caring about each other here… years ago.
36. JAKE: Like you’re any different?
37. MORT: But that’s my point. I’m not. It’s what this city teaches you. You learn it’s a dog-eat-dog world and, once you realize it, you leave the dogs to it.
38. JAKE: Aw, come on. It ain’t that bad.
39. MORT: Yeah, it is. (BEAT) Hey! Hey kid, watch out!
40. GIRL: Hey!
41. SOUND: HORN BLARING. SCREECHING TYRES. TRUCK COMES TO HALT.
42. MORT: Sheesh, kid! You coulda been killed.
43. GIRL: Let go of me, Jerk!
44. MORT: Nice! Next time, maybe I’ll let you walk under the truck.
45. GIRL: Aw, go soak your head.
46. SOUND: GIRL RUNS OFF
47. MORT: See. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
48. JAKE: Yeah, right. Cos’ getting yelled at by a nine-year-old proves it woulda been better to watch her get flattened.
49. MORT: Aw, shut up.
50. JAKE: Snappy.
51. MORT: In forty minutes I’m going to be back in my office getting ready to fleece Mrs Hargreaves with a new show.
52. JAKE: So?
53. MORT: If you think I’m gonna grow a conscience about it, you’re talking to the wrong guy.
54. JAKE: Sure, sure. Your heart’s made o’ stone. (BEAT) You ain’t foolin’ anyone.
55. JIMMY: (INTERRUPTING) Hey. You’re Mortimer Flintwich ain’t you?
56. MORT: What now?
57. STAN: Yeah, that’s him. Get him into the alley.
58. SOUND: SOUND OF STRUGGLE – FADE UNDER TRAFFIC ETC.
59. MORT: Hey… What the…?
60. JIMMY: Shut up. We’ve been looking for you, charlatan.
61. MORT: Look I don’t know you guys. You can’t possibly have a beef with me.
62. STAN: Yeah, well… our employer does.
63. JIMMY: See, we been paid to “encourage Mort Flintwich to drop Mrs Laura Hargreaves as a client”. Her son’s not keen on you chipping at his inheritance.
64. MORT: Seriously? Hargreaves can afford it. And hell, most of these pigeons don’t even believe in what I do. They just come for the show. You should see it sometime.
65. STAN: Funny guy. My ma got taken by one o’you hucksters for a couple o’ C’s.
66. MORT: Yeah, and I’m guessing your ma couldn’t afford it. But she isn’t my kind of mark. I bilk the rich and stupid. (BEAT) Come on fellas. We don’t have to do this.
67. JIMMY: It’s nothing personal, bub-
68. STAN: Speak for yourself.
69. JIMMY: …but we’ve been paid.
70. STAN: Yeah, you know how it is?
71. JIMMY: We saw you save that kid before, so maybe keep the wise-cracks to yourself and we’ll go a little easy on you. Whattaya say?
72. MORT: Yeah, sure. (BEAT) (TO STAN) You know, I think I met your mother once.
73. JAKE: (WARNING) Mort-
74. STAN: How’s that?
75. JAKE: (WARNING) Mort… don’t-
76. MORT: Yeah. She was so ugly she was scaring blind children.
77. STAN: Why you…
78. SOUND: BODY BLOWS, GRUNTS, RATTLE OF TRASH CANS (GIVE IT A FEW SECONDS)
79. STAN: Not so smart now, are you?
80. CHARITY COLLECTOR: Hey! Hey! What’s going on down there? Hey, Police. Someone’s being mugged.
81. JIMMY: Come on, time to go. We’ve mussed him up enough for now.
82. STAN: Heh. Yeah.
83. SOUND: THUGS WALK AWAY – UNDER.
84. MORT: (GROANS).
85. JAKE: Aw, Mort! (BEAT) Anything broken?
86. MORT: Don’t sweat it. I’ve got a split lip, some bruised ribs, and my eye feels tenderized, but that’s the price you pay. (SPITS) Damn, I hate the taste of blood.
87. JAKE: At least you didn’t lose any teeth this time. Seriously, Mort. What’re you gonna do?
88. MORT: I could lie here for a while… you know embrace the feel of the concrete beneath my back.
89. JAKE: Yeah? Well don’t roll to your left. There’s some nasty looking run-off beside you.
90. MORT: Funny. (GROANS) Ugh.
91. JAKE: What about Mrs. Hargreaves? You gonna let her go?
92. MORT: That’s a fat fee I’d be giving up if I did.
93. JAKE: It’s your funeral.
94. MORT: (GROANING) C’mon. Let’s get back on the street. I still want that sandwich.
95. SOUND: HURRIEDLY APPROACHING FEET.
96. CHARITY COLLECTOR: Hey mister. You okay?
97. MORT: Yeah, fine.
98. CHARITY COLLECTOR: That’s gonna be a nasty shiner. Those fellas did you over pretty good.
99. MORT: (GRUNTS AS HE GETS UP) Yeah, thanks for chasing them off like that.
100. CHARITY COLLECTOR: No problem. (BEAT) Listen, can you spare some change? It’s for the soup kitchens. Lots of people out of work.
101. MORT: Are you kidding me? (CALLING OVER HIS SHOULDER AS HE WALKS AWAY) Charity collecting? Beat it, sis. People gotta stand on their own two feet.
102. JAKE: You know Mort, I take it all back. You’re a jerk!
103. MORT: Glad we see eye to eye.
104. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 2: INT – MOBSTER’S OFFICE – MORNING
(CAESAR CORDOVA, MADAME SOFIA MALEFICENT, BRUNO)

105. MUSIC: FADE UP SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC ON A PHONAGRAPH.
106. SOUND: CAT MEOWS – LET IT FINISH
107. MADAME SOFIA MALEFICENT: (SOFTLY) Look at you, cat. Living in luxury; silken drapes, velvet-upholstered chairs, soft and expensive rugs… (BREATHES DEEPLY) and fresh cut flowers.
108. SOUND: CAT MEOWS AGAIN –
109. SOFIA: Oh, but you’re hungry, aren’t you? Come here.
110. SOUND: CAT PURRS.
111. SOFIA: Do you know what manner of monster holds you, cat?
112. SOUND: CAT MEOWS A QUERY
113. SOFIA: Hmpf! Today, cat, I’m orchestrating the world’s end, but I can’t see the finish. Too many magical people involved. It… unnerves me.
114. SOUND: CAT MEOWS
115. SOFIA: Oh, quiet. Your owner will be here shortly.
116. SOUND: TWO SETS OF MUFFLED MALE FOOTSTEPS APPROACH OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
117. BRUNO: I’m sorry Mr. Cordova, but they’ve hit us up north.
118. CAESAR CORDOVA: Again, Bruno? What does that leave us?
119. BRUNO: The bootlegging operation is gone. This raid destroyed our supplies. We lost a bunch of torpedoes too. Some of ’em are dead, the rest have gone over to Boscone and Tremere.
120. CAESAR: Damn those cowards!
121. BRUNO: We’ve still got the gambling houses so I think the bookies are likely the next target.
122. CAESAR CORDOVA: What’s our man-power like?
123. BRUNO: Our allies are getting thin. We can’t rely on the mayor’s office, and the fifth precinct will flip on us soon.
124. CAESAR: (DISGUSTED) Such a waste. We’ve got to hit back or they’ll roll us up like a carpet.
125. BRUNO: Boss, we haven’t been in a position to hit back for weeks. I think we need to consider…
126. CAESAR: No! I have obligations. To my family. To my employees. I will not abandon them.
127. SOUND: DOOR OPENS. FOOTSTEPS ENTER
128. BRUNO: But…
129. CAESAR: I said “No”! That is my final word.
130. BRUNO: Boss, some o’ the guys who flipped have been hiding under your wing for years. Now they’ve turned their backs on you. They’re not worth it.
131. CAEASAR: I give loyalty. I will not betray myself. I have already sacrificed too much. My health… My eyes…
132. BRUNO: Boss… you know I don’t…
133. CAESAR: It’s okay, Bruno. I know it makes you uncomfortable. The old witch was right, though. The power is there, if you’re willing to seize it… and pay the price.
134. BRUNO: I was raised an altar boy, boss. Some things should be left alone. Some deals have too high a price.
135. CAESAR: Higher than what I have already paid? You’re a good man Bruno. You speak your mind and I have always respected this, but…
136. SOFIA: Hello again, Caesar. Sorry to interrupt.
137. CAESAR: You! What are you doing in my office, witch? How do you keep getting past my guards?
138. SOFIA: (DISMISSIVE) Meh. I like to visit your cat.
139. SOUND: CAT MEOWS.
140. BRUNO: Boss? You want I should…?
141. CAESAR: No. I think “Madame Sofia” and I need to talk.
142. BRUNO: But…
143. CAESAR: Leave us for a few minutes, Bruno. I’ll be fine.
144. BRUNO: (RELUCTANT) Yes, Boss.
145. SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.
146. CAESAR: Ok, witch. What do you want?
147. SOFIA: Have you thought about my offer?
148. CAESAR: After what happened last time?
149. SOFIA: The power is real, as you have learned.
150. CAESAR: My eyes? Yes, they are gone. You tricked me, witch.
151. SOFIA: I did not. When I gave you the ritual, I warned you what might happen. Do you want pity?
152. CAESAR: No. But you knew I didn’t believe, and you gave it to me anyway.
153. SOFIA: And it worked. You have a second sight that is far more effective than your first.
154. CAESAR: And this should please me how?
155. SOFIA: You can look into the hearts of the people around you and see who they really are. You can see who you can trust and who is going to betray you.
156. CAESAR: But the price…
157. SOFIA: The price was what I said it would be. I did not lie.
158. CAESAR: My family cannot look me in the face unless I wear these glasses. Eyeless sockets are… not pretty.
159. SOFIA: You were warned.
160. CAESAR: And you are dangerous! Why should I even let you live?
161. SOFIA: Because my offer still stands. I can give you an army that can win this petty gang war of yours.
162. CAESAR: Monsters?
163. SOFIA: Yes, monsters. But monsters that will do your bidding, destroy your enemies, and let you take control of the entire city.
164. CAESAR: I have never wanted that kind of power.
165. SOFIA: I know. But you know what will happen if Boscone and Tremere win?
166. CAESAR: They have no principles beyond their wealth. (BEAT) Yes, I know what will happen to this city if I stand aside.
167. SOFIA: So? Do you want my help?
168. CAESAR: No. I do not. Bruno is right. The price is too high. I cannot afford to risk…
169. SOFIA: (AGITATED) You need to see the bigger picture, Caesar.
170. CAESAR: You do NOT get to call me Caesar. I am Mr. Cordova to you. And I already see this so-called big picture.
171. SOFIA: (SNORTS) Hmpf!
172. CAESAR: Cities always have crime. But crime can be controlled. I keep the drugs out. I make sure only people who can afford it are robbed. I stop the violence from spilling over into the streets – no civilian casualties. I am good for this city.
173. SOFIA: (DRILY) I’m sure knowing that will be a comfort when they put you in the ground…
174. CAESAR: We will see… But I don’t trust you, witch, with good reason. You are too dangerous to tolerate. (CALLING OUT) Bruno!
175. SOUND: DOOR OPENS
176. BRUNO: Yes, boss?
177. CAESAR: I’ve decided. Take this… woman… down to the docks. Dump her body in the river.
178. BRUNO: (WITH ENTHUSIASM AND RELIEF) Yes, boss.
179. SOFIA: Ha! You can’t harm me. I’m tempted to sit back and watch your world burn. It’s about what you deserve. But more is at stake here than your little kingdom “Mr.” Cordova.
180. SOUND: TELEPHONE RINGS – UNDER
181. CAESAR: Wait a moment, Bruno…
182. SOUND: TELEPHONE PICKUP
183. CAESAR: Report! (PAUSE) What’s happened? My wife? My children? (PAUSE) Where are you now? (PAUSE) Take them to the safe house. Send our surviving men to ground. Don’t tell anyone where my family is. Understood? (PAUSE) Good. Thankyou Juan. Stay with them.
184. SOUND: PHONE HANGS UP.
185. BRUNO: (BEAT) Boss…?
186. CAESAR: Boscone attacked my family but Juan got them out. My daughter watched one of my men die in front of her.
187. (TO SOFIA) It seems there are worse things than you in this world, witch. Tell me what you want in exchange for this army of yours?
188. BRUNO: Boss, no!
189. SOFIA: Ah, so we ARE agreed! We will need a few things to make this work.
190. CAESAR: (SUSPICIOUS) Such as?
191. SOFIA: I believe you have a thief working for you; goes by the name of Lilly Moreland?
192. CAESAR: She’s a contractor.
193. SOFIA: She has a daughter, a magically active girl of about twelve. We’re going to need her.
194. CAESAR: I don’t threaten children.
195. SOFIA: Then don’t threaten her. Get her away from her mother for a day or two. The ritual requires the participation of three awakened individuals.
196. CAESAR: What ritual?
197. SOPHIA: I have the directions here, don’t worry. The monsters sit behind an ancient dimensional gate. You and I will not be able to open it on our own, but the girl is one of the strongest active individuals in the city.
198. CAESAR: And she won’t be harmed?
199. SOFIA: I didn’t say that. There is always risk. But it’s her or your family.
200. CAESAR: I thought you couldn’t see my future?
201. SOFIA: Your family are mundane. I can see their end, even if I can’t see yours. Boscone will fillet them himself, just for the fun of it.
202. CAESAR: I hate this. But… damn it… I will get the girl.
203. SOFIA: Good. Then I will see you soon. Feed your cat. She’s hungry.
204. SOUND: CAT MEOWS
205. CAESAR: Wait! (BEAT) My cat… um, she is… er… that is… my house… it is not safe for her right now. Perhaps you could…
206. SOFIA: (AMUSED) Are you asking me to look after your cat?
207. CAESAR: You seem to get along.
208. SOFIA: You never fail to surprise me, “Mr.” Cordova.
209. CAESAR: Bah! Do what you want.
210. (TO BRUNO) Bruno! I need you to go pick up Claudette Moreland (Lilly’s girl). Bring her here in one piece, but leave the mother behind.
211. BRUNO: Kidnapping, boss?
212. CAESAR: Do what I ask. And escort this witch out of my… She’s gone!
213. BRUNO: Your cat’s gone too. Just those “instructions” left on your desk. Damn! How does she do that?
214. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 3: INT – GANG WAREHOUSE – MORNING
(JULIO, SANCHO, BRUNO, VIGO)

216. SOUND: SMACK OF FISTS (THREE OR FOUR).
217. JULIO: Alright, that’s enough, Sancho. Vigo’s unconscious again.
218. SANCHO: (GRUNTS) Pity.
219. JULIO: I thought you and Vigo were friends.
220. SANCHO: We worked together.
221. JULIO: Yeah. There ain’t no lasting friendships in this job, huh? (BEAT) Grab the bucket and douse him again.
222. SANCHO: Sure.
223. SOUND: SPLASH OF WATER THROWN OVER VIGO
224. VIGO: (COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING, SPEAKING SLOWLY AND IN SIGNIFICANT PAIN) Ugh. Looks like I’m still alive. Can’t you get it over with, already.
225. JULIO: We’re following the boss’s orders, Vigo. It’s nothing personal.
226. SANCHO: Heh. Yeah.
227. SOUND: SMACK
228. VIGO: (GRUNTS)
229. JULIO: The boss said he wanted you to suffer before we put you in the ground, so…
230. SOUND: SMACK.
231. VIGO: Go… to Hell!
232. SOUND: SMACK.
233. VIGO: (GRUNTS)
234. JULIO: This ain’t our doing, Vigo. It’s your own fault. You should never have betrayed the boss.
235. VIGO: Switching sides was the smart thing. You’re gonna die if you stick with Cordova.
236. JULIO: You think? That’s pretty funny.
237. SOUND: SMACK.
238. VIGO: (GRUNTS) How’s that?
239. JULIO: Well, here’s you, trying to avoid dying by joinin’ t’other side. And here’s us, killin’ you for the exact same thing. Who’s the smart one now?
240. SOUND: SMACK
241. VIGO: (GRUNTS)
242. SOUND: PHONE STARTS RINGING
243. JULIO: Hang on a sec.
244. SOUND: PHONE PICKS UP
245. JULIO: Yeah, this is Julio talkin’. (BEAT) Yeah, Bruno, Sancho’s here too. What? Okay. Who do you want us to pick up? (BEAT) A kid? (WRITING IT DOWN) Claudette Moreland. Is that Lilly’s kid? (BEAT) If you say so. Yeah, yeah. No civilian casualties. Got it.
246. SOUND: PHONE HANGS UP.
247. JULIO: Pack it up, Sancho. We’ll come back to this later.
248. SANCHO: Yeah?
249. JULIO: I know you’re just gettin’ started. But he’s goin’ nowhere. And the boss needs us to do a little snatch and grab. A priority job, grabbing a kid off the street; Lilly’s kid.
250. SANCHO: Lilly’s kid?
251. JULIO: I don’t make the policy, but that was Bruno, so it’s on the level.
252. SANCHO: D’ya think Lilly’ll be a problem?
253. JULIO: No civilian casualties, Sancho. Don’t forget what happened last time.
254. SANCHO: She ain’t no civilian.
255. JULIO: You’ve had plenty of fun today. Go wash your hands. Besides Vigo’s out cold again. We’ll leave him tied to the chair ’til we get back.
256. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 4: INT – DOCTOR’S OFFICE – MORNING
(DOCTOR, LILLY MORELAND)

257. SOUND: JANGLE OF INSTRUMENTS IN TRAY. FOOTSTEPS ON HARD FLOOR.
258. DOCTOR: I like your flower, Lilly.
259. LILLY MORELAND: What’s that, Doctor?
260. DOCTOR: The paper flower in your button-hole. I like it.
261. LILLY: Oh. Right. Claudette makes them. She gave me one this morning.
262. DOCTOR: She’s a talented little girl. (AWKWARD BEAT)
263. LILLY MORELAND: (JOKING) So, Doc, you’ve had some fun and, um… poked around. It’s time to put your books to good use. How long have I got?
264. DOCTOR: (BEAT)
265. LILLY: Doc? (BEAT) This the part where you explain how I’m going to live a long and… vigorous life. You know? It’s our banter.
266. DOCTOR: Lilly, I’m sorry… but…
267. LILLY: (HEAVY COUGHING) Ugh. I hate that taste – like bitter copper. It’s a few bloody noses and a cold, right?
268. DOCTOR: No. It’s not. I… I hate giving bad news to my patients, but… Lilly, you’re dying.
269. LILLY: What??! I haven’t been properly sick in twelve years – not since Claudette was born – and the first time I get so much as a blood-nose you tell me this?
270. DOCTOR: I know it’s a surprise. The disease advanced quickly. Your immune system turned on itself. I’ve never seen so many active pathogens in one body.
271. LILLY: Pathogens?
272. DOCTOR: You’re riddled with bacteria and your cells are essentially shredding. There’s nothing I can do.
273. LILLY: But…
274. DOCTOR: You’ve got maybe a month, maybe less. Frankly, I’m amazed you’re still alive.
275. LILLY: This is crazy. The bloody noses and coughing only started a week ago. They’re annoying, but…
276. DOCTOR: I’m sorry. I wish I had better news. But it’s important you think about the future… your daughter’s future. (BEAT) What will you tell her?
277. LILLY: What? Um… I don’t know. I need time to… This can’t be happening. (COUGHS AGAIN).
278. DOCTOR: I can give you the name of a priest or minister… if that would help?
279. LILLY: No… I mean, thank you. (BEAT) I can’t concentrate in here. It smells too much like antiseptic.
280. SOUND: CHAIR SCRAPES
281. DOCTOR: Please, wait. There are things that have to be arranged. If only for your daughter’s sake.
282. LILLY: Claudette can’t know about this. She already takes on too much responsibility.
283. DOCTOR: You’re dying Lilly. Your daughter deserves a chance to prepare herself.
284. LILLY: No! I’ll figure something out, but I’m not telling her before I have to.
285. DOCTOR: Lilly, I’ve seen this before. She’ll hate you for it. It’s better to get it out in the open as soon as possible.
286. LILLY: I said no!
287. DOCTOR: Alright, I won’t push. But you’re going to need help, and someone to look after Claudette. What about her father?
288. LILLY: He’s long gone. And even if he wasn’t, I wouldn’t leave her with him.
289. DOCTOR: Okay. What about state care? I have some contacts in local orphanages. Maybe I could…
290. LILLY: No. Absolutely not! She’s never going into an orphanage.
291. DOCTOR: Lilly, you can’t ignore this. You’re going to need care yourself, and soon…
292. LILLY: I’m not ignoring it. I’ll figure something out. I need… time… to think.
293. DOCTOR: Alright, but at least take these guardianship papers with you.
294. SOUND: PAPERS CHANGE HANDS
295. LILLY: Um…
296. DOCTOR: They’ll let you put Claudette somewhere that you choose. And before you go, I want you to make another appointment.
297. LILLY: But…
298. DOCTOR: This disease will get nasty towards the end. There are medicines that can help with the pain.
299. LILLY: Uh… thankyou, doctor.
300. DOCTOR: I’ll walk you out.
301. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 5: INT – DOCTOR’S RECEPTION – MORNING
(SOFIA, CLAUDETTE, RECEPTIONIST, DOCTOR, LILLY)

302. SOUND: TYPING – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
303. SOFIA: There she is, talking to the receptionist while her mother’s in with the doctor. She looks like a boy in those overalls and bob-cut.
304. SOUND: MEOW OF QUERY
305. SOFIA: Quietly, cat. She can’t see or hear us yet, but I don’t want to stretch my magic too much covering up your noise.
306. RECEPTIONIST: You’re quiet. Watcha doing?
307. CLAUDETTE MORELAND: Making paper flowers.
308. RECEPTIONIST: A bit ugly, aren’t they?
309. CLAUDETTE: You can have one if you want. The waiting room needs some decorations.
310. RECEPTIONIST: (DEFINITE) No thanks! They’d look tacky, like everything else. I guess that’s what you get in a cheap clinic. (POINTEDLY AND WITH DISDAIN) The clients down here rarely pay.
311. CLAUDETTE: So, why don’t you like my mom?
312. RECEPTIONIST: I never said that.
313. CLAUDETTE: But you don’t like her. I can tell.
314. RECEPTIONIST: I like everyone who pays their bills.
315. CLAUDETTE: Uh-huh?
316. RECEPTIONIST: In the five years she’s been bringing you here, your mother’s never once paid the bill. And the Doctor’s too tender hearted to make an issue of it.
317. CLAUDETTE: You’re a liar. My mom always pays her debts.
318. RECEPTIONIST: You think so, huh? Well, I think your mom’s a dead-beat whose gonna get what’s coming to her.
319. CLAUDETTE: What do you know, you ugly cow?
320. RECEPTIONIST: How dare you! You think I don’t know what you are? What your mother is? No job. No man. It doesn’t take a genius to join the dots.
321. CLAUDETTE: What are you saying?
322. RECEPTIONIST: Your mom ain’t home much after dark, is she? Or maybe she’s home too much. Lots of uncles come visiting, do they?
323. CLAUDETTE: You take that back. My mom takes jobs where she can get them, and she works hard.
324. RECEPTIONIST: What would you know? You’re a silly little girl.
325. CLAUDETTE: Oh, and how respectable are you? Your husband’s off with the Grocer’s wife every time you turn your back.
326. RECEPTIONIST: (HORRIFIED) How’d you…? Who told? You’re making things up, you little…
327. CLAUDETTE: Don’t hit me!
328. SOFIA: (INTERRUPTING) Arkash Mishpak Narosh!
329. SOUND: MAGICAL CHIME
330. CLAUDETTE: (LONG BEAT) Um… you’re frozen. (BEAT) Are you dead?
331. SOFIA: She’s not dead, Claudette.
332. CLAUDETTE: (GASPS) Who are you? Where’d you come from?
333. SOFIA: I’d say she’s pretty angry judging by that backswing. Still, she won’t be able to bother you for a while.
334. I, um… stopped her for a moment. It won’t last.
335. CLAUDETTE: I guess I shouldn’t have read her mind and said that mean stuff. She made me really mad. Are you here to hurt me? Are you a witch?
336. SOFIA: (LAUGHS) No, though some folks think so. I’m a Romany. People often call us gypsies.
337. CLAUDETTE: I can’t read you. That’s unusual. I can read most people, except my mom, unless they are like me. Are you? Like me, I mean?
338. SOFIA: Do you mean, can I read minds? No. But I can do other things. So could you, if you were trained. People who are magically active are usually impossible to read.
339. CLAUDETTE: Why can’t I read my mom?
340. SOFIA: She has magic. She doesn’t know what her gift is, though.
341. CLAUDETTE: Really? She doesn’t like to talk about people having abilities. She probably needs some training. Is that why you’ve come? To train me, or mom?
342. SOFIA: No. Time’s passing and this spell will attract outworlders if we aren’t quick.
343. CLAUDETTE: Outworlders? What are they? Is that one in your pocket?
344. SOFIA: In my pocket?
345. CLAUDETTE: Your pocket’s moving.
346. SOFIA: Oh. No, that’s Cat. She’s moving around.
347. SOUND: MEOW.
348. CLAUDETTE: She’s beautiful. You’ve only just got her, haven’t you?
349. SOFIA: Are you reading her?
350. CLAUDETTE: Uh-huh.
351. SOFIA: Clever. With some luck you’ll… no, it’s too late and I’ve used far too much power creating this time bubble. We need to talk quickly, dear.
352. CLAUDETTE: What do you want?
353. SOFIA: (WITH SUDDEN FEROCIOUS URGENCY)I need you to do something, Claudette. I know you don’t know me, but it’s important. You need to ask your mother to find Mortimer Flintwich. Can you remember that name?
354. CLAUDETTE: You’re scaring me a little.
355. SOFIA: I’ve been told I’m a scary woman. But I’m no threat to you Claudette. Not at the moment.
356. CLAUDETTE: Good.
357. SOFIA: But I know someone who is. You’ve heard of Caesar Cordova, haven’t you? Your mother works for him.
358. CLAUDETTE: Yes. He’s scary. I can’t read him either, and his eyes… there is something wrong with them. He looked at me and he…
359. SOFIA: I know, Claudette. He can see your abilities. And he wants them… wants you. He’s sending men to get you, but Mortimer Flintwich can protect you.
360. CLAUDETTE: But how can he…?
361. SOFIA: He may be the only one who can. Caesar mustn’t get you before the appointed hour.
362. CLAUDETTE: The appointed…?
363. SOFIA: Trust me, Claudette. It’s more important than you could possibly…
364. CLAUDETTE: But you’ll protect us, right?
365. SOUND: RUSHING WIND
366. SOFIA: (ALARMED) Wait! They’re here.
367. CLAUDETTE: Who? Who’re here?
368. SOUND: HISSING SCUTTLING NOISES
369. SCRAT (OUTWORLDER): (HISSING WHISPER) Can you smell it, brother? Wild magic. Magic that drains. Magic that weakens.
370. SCRUG (OUTWORLDER): Yes, yes. Magic that weakens. Fool’s magic. The magic of one who wants to be fed upon.
371. SOFIA: You’ll find no easy prey here, outworlder.
372. SCRAT: It’s you. Do you think you can stop us? And a child? She’ll be delicious.
373. SOFIA: You are few enough, and I have a few tricks up my sleeve, yet.
374. SCRUG: Think so? Your spell is a beacon. The few who come now are nothing. Many will soon arrive.
375. SOFIA: I don’t think you’re just talking about my spell are you?
376. SCRUG: The barrier is growing thin. It will break. And then your world become our world.
377. SCRAT: Yes.
378. SOFIA: Really? And why are you so keen to make yourselves at home here?
379. SCRUG: Your ancestors drove us out of this world. Now something has found us. A horror. And we are being destroyed
380. SOFIA: Good!
381. SCRUG: You dare! We are hunted. But we will soon break through. More of us are finding a way. And you cannot stop us.
382. SOFIA: I can still do this, monsters. (BEAT) Incendiaré Conflagraté!
383. SOUND: WHOOSH OF FLAME
384. SCRUG: Flames. Pain.
385. SCRAT: It burns. It… Flee!
386. SOUND: SMALL EXPLOSION OF AIR
387. CLAUDETTE: (EXCITED) You saved us!
388. SOFIA: Easy girl. No need for hugs.
389. CLAUDETTE: I’m going to call you Granny from now on.
390. SOFIA: There’s no need to call me anything. In fact, don’t mention my part in this to anyone… ever.
391. CLAUDETTE: (CONFUSED) Alright.
392. SOFIA: Convince your mother to find Mortimer Flintwich. Promise me?
393. CLAUDETTE: Why?
394. SOFIA: It’s a matter of survival. You must survive and you won’t, and your mother won’t, without Flintwich’s help. So promise me. Find Mort Flintwich.
395. CLAUDETTE: Okay. I promise.
396. SOFIA: Good girl. Now I have to ask you to do something hard. Go stand by the desk. That woman is going to hit you.
397. CLAUDETTE: I can do it, Granny. (BEAT) No, wait. Take this…
398. SOFIA: A paper flower? You keep it, ok? (BEAT) I’m dropping the spell… now!
399. SOUND: DOOR OPENS – LET IT FINISH.
400. DOCTOR: Goodbye Lilly. Come back and see me when… What’s that smell…? It’s like… burning dust.
401. SOUND: FACE BEING SLAPPED.
402. RECEPTIONIST: …you little beggar!
403. CLAUDETTE: (STARTS CRYING – CONTINUE UNDER)
404. LILLY: (SHOCKED) Claudette! (COUGHING) Are you alright? What the hell kind of place are you running here, doctor!
405. DOCTOR: (ALSO SHOCKED) Mrs Atkins, you struck a child!
406. RECEPTIONIST: Doctor, I…
407. DOCTOR: There is absolutely no excuse, Mrs Atkins. You’re fired. Mrs. Moreland, I can only offer you my sincerest apologies.
408. RECEPTIONIST: But Doctor, she…
409. LILLY: You are not blaming this on my daughter…(TO THE DOCTOR) and it’s “Miss”. (COUGHING) Come on Claudette. We’re leaving.
410. SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES – LET IT FINISH.
411. SOFIA: (DISTANTLY ECHOING) Well done girl. (BEAT) (LAUGHING) And you gave your mother a way to avoid settling her account – again.
412. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 6: EXT – ON THE STREET – MORNING
(CLAUDETTE, LILLY, JULIO, SANCHO)

415. SOUND: BUSY STREET AMBIANCE (CARS, PEOPLE ETC., OCCASIONAL CAR HORNS) – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
416. LILLY: I can’t believe that woman hit you.
417. CLAUDETTE: It’s all right, mom. It wasn’t as hard as it sounded.
418. LILLY: That’s not the point. (COUHGING) I’m gonna sue. I’m gonna…
419. CLAUDETTE: Are you okay Mom? What did the doctor say?
420. LILLY: It’s nothing. What matters is that woman and what she…
421. CLAUDETTE: Mom, stop! I’ve got something really important to tell you… about Mr. Cordova.
422. LILLY: What? How do you know about Mr. Cordova?
423. CLAUDETTE: C’mon ma. We live in the same apartment. I know you work for him sometimes.
424. LILLY: You do, huh?
425. CLAUDETTE: Sure. I see the notes and letters you get.
426. LILLY: Then you know he’s not an easy man to work for (STARTS COUGHING AGAIN) and you also know it’s important you don’t mention me working for him to anyone else.
427. CLAUDETTE: Why not?
428. LILLY: Never you mind. But it’s important alright?
429. CLAUDETTE: Okay. But he’s coming for me.
430. LILLY: What?
431. CLAUDETTE: You know how I can tell things sometimes?
432. LILLY: Claudette, we’ve talked about this?
433. CLAUDETTE: (PETULANT) We’ve talked about how you never want to talk about this. And you don’t believe you’ve got a gift too, but you do.
434. LILLY: Honey, this isn’t the time or place.
435. CLAUDETTE: But it is. You have to know. And you have to know now. Mr. Cordova is looking for me. He wants me because of my ability.
436. LILLY: You’re not playing games with me, are you Claudette? Because, if this is real, then we need to get off the street. Now.
437. CLAUDETTE: There’s more. We have to find someone to stay safe.
438. LILLY: What? Who?
439. CLAUDETTE: All I know’s his name; Mortimer Flintwich.
440. LILLY: (SHOCKED) Good grief! Where did you hear about him?
441. CLAUDETTE: BEAT
442. LILLY: Claudette? Where did you hear that name? You haven’t been snooping have you? Like with Mr. Cordova?
443. SOFIA: (ECHOING IN MEMORY) Don’t mention my part in this to anyone… ever.
444. CLAUDETTE: You know I know things, mom. I don’t know how, but I do. Who’s Mortimer Flintwich?
445. JULIO: (AT A DISTANCE) Hey! That’s them.
446. LILLY: (DISTRACTED) Oh no! Baby, I think we’re in trouble.
447. CLAUDETTE: Why..? (REALIZING) Oh…
448. LILLY: Yeah. There’s two of them. We need to run.
449. SOUND: PILE OF PAPER FALLING
450. CLAUDETTE: No, wait. I dropped my flowers.
451. LILLY: Claudette, we don’t have time.
452. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS – JULIO AND SANCHO APPROACH
453. JULIO: (FALSELY POLITE AND CHEERFUL) Good morning ladies. Are these flowers yours?
454. CLAUDETTE: Um…
455. JULIO: You won’t mind if Sancho picks ’em up for you.
456. SOUND: PAPER SCOOPED UP AND CRUMPLED (BEAT).
457. SOUND: RIPPING OF PAPER.
458. SANCHO: (SNICKERS) Heh.
459. JULIO: (FALSELY REPROVING) Sancho! (BEAT) Was that nice? I wanted you to help the young lady.(TO CLAUDETTE – FALSELY CONTRITE) I’m truly sorry, miss. (BEAT) But we’re not actually here for the flowers. We was wondering if we could offer you a lift up-town to visit with Mr. Cordova. He’d like to talk.
460. LILLY: That’s mighty kind of you, Julio. Does Mr. Cordova have another job for me?
461. JULIO: Sorry, Lil, the invitation ain’t for you. It’s for the little one… alone.
462. CLAUDETTE: I’m not going with you!
463. JULIO: Now, don’t make a fuss. We don’t want to hurt you.
464. LILLY: (COUGHING) Yeah, no civilian casualties, right? I’m an employee too. I know Cordova’s rules. Is that why the big, silent one’s here? In case we don’t cooperate?
465. JULIO: That’s about the sum of it.
466. LILLY: There aren’t a lot of uses that a gangster could have for a young girl. And none that I’d want my daughter exposed to.
467. JULIO: Sorry, Lil. I’m doing my job.
468. LILLY: And I’m guessing, if we run, Cordova’ll have a contract out on us before we can blink.
469. JULIO: This only ends one way, Lil, so cooperate. Sancho’s here to bring the hurt only if it’s needed.
470. LILLY: Really?
471. JULIO: You don’t want to end up face down in one of those trash cans over there. And, I gotta tell you, Lil,… Sancho enjoys smacking women around.
472. LILLY: (SULTRY) Oh, I don’t believe that. (TO SANCHO) A big guy like you. I bet underneath all that muscle, you’re a pussycat. Afterall, most men are easy to handle if someone knees them (GRUNTS) here…
473. SANCHO: (GRUNTS IN PAIN) Ugh!
474. SOUND: PARTIAL BODY DROP (TO KNEES).
475. LILLY: Or (TO JULIO) gets in a sucker punch to the throat like this… (GRUNTS)
476. JULIO: (ALSO GRUNTS IN PAIN) Ugh!
477. SOUND: SMACK AND BODY DROP.
478. LILLY: C’mon, kid. Run!
479. JULIO: (GETTING UP, CHOKING IN PAIN) Oh, you better run. You’re gonna pay for that Lil’. On your feet Sancho. We’ve gotta get after ’em.
480. SANCHO: (GRUNTS) She’s gonna pay. (BEAT)I think I’ve got a clear shot.
481. SOUND: GUNSHOT
482. SANCHO: Missed.
483. JULIO: Put the gun away, idiot! You know the rules.
484. SANCHO: But she…
485. BYSTANDER (LADY): (AT A DISTANCE) Police! Police! He’s got a gun. Police!
486. JULIO: That tears it. We gotta move.
487. SOUND: RUNNING FEET.
488. MUSIC: TIME PASSING TRANSITION
489. SOUND: STREET AMBIANCE (AT A DISTANCE)
490. LILLY: (BREATHING HARD)
491. CLAUDETTE: Mom…
492. LILLY: (TRYING TO STIFLE HER COUGHING) Shh! Stay quiet.
493. JULIO: (AT A DISTANCE) Damn it! I think we’ve lost ’em. Sancho, you go that way.
494. SANCHO: (GRUNTS AFFIRMATIVELY)
495. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPART – FADE
496. LILLY: (RELIEVED) Okay. I think they’re gone… for now.
497. CLAUDETTE: See. I told you.
498. LILLY: Claudette…?
499. CLAUDETTE: Mom, who’s Mortimer Flintwich?
500. LILLY: He’s… someone I knew a long time ago.
501. CLAUDETTE: Mom?!
502. LILLY: Alright, alright. But I’m only explaining because we can’t ask him for help.
503. (BEAT) (WEARY) We were in the same orphanage. When I was little. Younger than you.
504. CLAUDETTE: You never talk about when you were my age.
505. LILLY: (COUGHING) Yeah, well. (BEAT) Anyway, we were friends. He was older than me, by a little, but, well he was like my little brother. I was the one who looked after him.
506. CLAUDETTE: Did you get adopted?
507. LILLY: No. I was sold to a house in town. The man who ran the orphanage wanted to make a little extra money and… well, I was pretty…
508. CLAUDETTE: I don’t understand. Were you a slave?
509. LILLY: Yeah, sort of. But I don’t want to talk about that either, okay?
510. CLAUDETTE: Okay.
511. LILLY: Anyway, Mort never stopped looking for me.
512. CLAUDETTE: Are you hiding from him?
513. LILLY: Sort of. He thinks he found me, only it wasn’t me, and I’ve let him go on thinking that. I was called Jesse, back then.
514. CLAUDETTE: I don’t understand.
515. LILLY: It’s complicated, honey. The place I lived… the house I was in… there were other girls there. I had a friend named Lilly. We looked a little bit similar.
516. CLAUDETTE: Like twins.
517. LILLY: Or sisters. One day I got in trouble and she took the blame. The people who ran the house beat her. They beat her real bad. So bad that she went to sleep and never woke up.
518. CLAUDETTE: Didn’t they take her to the hospital?
519. LILLY: No. They didn’t. She was more use to them unconscious. (BEAT) Some of their “customers” liked girls who didn’t move around.
520. CLAUDETTE: I don’t under…
521. LILLY: Years later we were rescued from that place, and Mort had a lot to do with it. He was a policeman then. But it didn’t stick.
522. CLAUDETTE: Did he arrest the bad guys?
523. LILLY: He wanted to. I wanted him to. But he couldn’t. Some important people were customers at that house. Other important people were protecting them. He stopped being a cop after that.
524. CLAUDETTE: So, why can’t we see Mort? He seems nice.
525. LILLY: He was, sort of. He’s changed a lot. But he was so desperate to help the little girl he’d known at the orphanage, and I owed Lilly so much… I swapped identities with her.
526. CLAUDETTE: What?
527. LILLY: You have to understand. No-one was going to help Lilly. Life’s hard and you can’t trust people. The only people who are safe are the ones with power and money, and she had neither.
528. CLAUDETTE: So the bad people won?
529. LILLY: Yeah. But Mort… He wanted to help. When he discovered her name was Jesse, and when all the other details fit, he got her into a hospital where she’s cared for properly. He pays her bills, and so do I… when we’ve got any money to spare. But he doesn’t know she isn’t me. (BEAT) Now do you see?
530. CLAUDETTE: Why didn’t you tell him the truth?
531. LILLY: At first, it was just a way to help Lilly. But then the court case fell apart and… Mort was a cop.
532. CLAUDETTE: Didn’t you trust him?
533. LILLY: No, I… I had something to do. Something Mort wouldn’t understand.
534. CLAUDETTE: What did you…?
535. LILLY: It doesn’t matter… (FIERCLY) But the man who ran that house got justice in the end… (THEN WITH UNCERTAINTY) in the end.
536. CLAUDETTE: But, if it’s over now… Don’t you know where Mort is?
537. LILLY: (SIGHS) Sure, I’ve kept track. He’s a small-time hustler now. He cons people with some fortune teller routine. Like I said, he’s changed, even if he does look after my friend.
538. CLAUDETTE: I’m sorry, but he has to help us. We’ve got to go see him. And he’s the only one who can. I’ve seen it.
539. LILLY: Like you saw that Mr. Cordova would be sending someone to get you.
540. CLAUDETTE: Yes.
541. LILLY: (COUGHING) Oh, this isn’t happening. (BEAT) We could run. We could leave town.
542. CLAUDETTE: Do you think Mr. Cordova would let us go?
543. LILLY: (DEFEATED) No. He’ll have men at the train stations, docks, and the airport, before we can get away. We can’t go back to our apartment either.
544. CLAUDETTE: Then what will we do?
545. LILLY: I’m gonna make Cordova pay. No-one is ever going to get the best of me – not ever again. Only… Cordova will keep sending men until he finds us, won’t he?. (BEAT) (DEFEATED) Okay, we’re gonna go see Mort.
546. MUSIC: SCENE ENDER – LET IT FINISH.
547. NARRATOR: Why does Mort insist on working as a fortune teller? What mysterious agenda is the double-crossing Madam Sofia pursuing? Can Lilly protect her daughter from Cordova’s goons and get the help she needs from Mort? Tune in to episode two and find out.
548. MUSIC: CLOSING THEME AND CREDITS

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Philip Craig Robotham grew up in a house full of books and has held numerous jobs as a teacher, computer programmer, graphic and web designer, an e-learning consultant and, most recently, writer. He currently lives in Victoria, Australia with his wife and two sons. When he was younger and fitter he enjoyed martial arts, but in recent years his hobbies have tended towards more sedate fare (board games, movies, books, and role-playing games).

He is extremely grateful for the encouragement he receives from his biggest fans — his wife and two boys — all of whom read and enjoy his scripts and, in general, make his life worth living.

You can contact the author regarding performance rights (or simply to say hello) through his website: https://www.weirdworldstudios.com.

THE END

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This post and all its content is copyright © 2013 Philip Craig Robotham and has been released under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) license. This play cannot be reproduced, shared, or performed commercially without the written permission of the author.  The production of derivative content, merchandise, or creative works and materials is expressly forbidden under this agreement. However you may share, reproduce, and perform this play freely so long as authorship is acknowledged, no money changes hands, and the play is not modified in any way.

The post Mort Flintwich and the Outworlder War – Episode 1 – No Good Deed appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Robert W. Chambers
(1895)

Public Domain License – This story is in the public domain and may be reproduced and shared freely.

Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink behind the lake,
The shadows lengthen
        In Carcosa.

Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies
But stranger still is
        Lost Carcosa.

Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
        Dim Carcosa.

Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
        Lost Carcosa.

Cassilda’s Song in “The King in Yellow,” Act i, Scene 2.

The post Cassilda’s Song appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Finally, I present the rather anti-climactic end to my look at Aristotle’s Poetics.  Here Aristotle explores a few ancillary topics before giving some final advice on what constitutes a good drama.  By finishing this final summary, though its value to writers is, I think, limited, it does give this project some sense of closure..

Chapter 19 – Diction and Thought

According to Artistotle, diction is more properly dealt with under the heading of rhetoric.  It is the element of the play generally referred to as performance and he passes over it.  I will do the same, but I am curious as to whether Artistotle’s surviving work on Rhetoric has anything to say to the voice actors of our own era.  It might be interesting to find out, but I am happy to leave that investigation to others.

With regard to thought, however, Aristotle’s meaning is a bit more difficult to fathom.  He defines thought as “every effect that has to be produced by speech” and lists examples such as “proof and refutation”, “the excitement of feelings”, and “the suggestion of importance and its opposite”.  

Thought is a strange term to use for it, but seems to refer to the impact of what happens on stage in the mind of the audience.  For the audio audience, of course, the stage on which the play is performed is that of the mind.  As a result, it seems to me, that this is referring to the success with which the writer creates the drama in the minds of the audience and evokes understanding and emotion.

Aristotle goes on to say that events should speak for themselves – probably the earliest formulation of “show, don’t tell” ever expressed.

One way to think of show don’t tell is to rephrase it as “describe, don’t explain”.  Sound, music, and dialog combine in audio drama to complete a picture in the mind of the audience.  On stage we can “see” the play unfold, but audio drama must convey what is seen via these other tools.  Music is one of the most useful tools in the audio-dramatist’s repertoire for “showing” and amplifying the emotion in  a scene – but it is largely the preserve of production rather than writing.  Sound is often ambiguous and cannot be trusted to “show” an audience anything in many cases without context.  This context is often created by dialog and it is to dialog that we must turn to “show” rather than “tell”.  But since dialog is verbal, the question naturally arises as to how this is achieved?

Let’s imagine a character, Bob, who is angry.  Bob might say, “I am angry.”  This is “showing” or “explaining”.  But it is very unsatisfying for the audience.  Far better for Bob to express his anger more obliquely and allow the audience to infer his emotion.

SOUND: BUSY OFFICE – MURMURS, TYPING, ETC.

SOUND: DOOR SLAMS.  ALL GOES SILENT.

BOB: (LOUD AND IMPATIENT) Where’s the Rotchester Report? (BEAT) Well? (BEAT) What the hell do I pay you people for.  Find it!

SOUND: FLURRY OF ACTIVITY.

In narration it is even easier to see.  If the narrator says “Bob is angry” we are being “told” and Bob’s behavior is being “explained”.  Instead his behavior should merely be described (“shown”) to us (though in the example below the narrative description is redundant and unnecessary).

NARRATOR: Bob is searching everywhere for the Rotchester Report.

SOUND: BUSY OFFICE – MURMURS, TYPING, ETC.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS, BEAT, DOOR SLAMS.  ALL GOES SILENT.

BOB: (LOUD AND IMPATIENT) Where’s that damned report got to? (BEAT) Well? (BEAT) What the hell do I pay you people for.  Find it!

SOUND: FLURRY OF ACTIVITY.

Chapter 20 – Grammar

Since Aristotle largely treats of Ancient Greek grammar (and I have written a series of five articles on English grammar) I am not going to deal with this subject here.

Chapter 21 – Words

In this chapter, Aristotle explores the types of words used to express a play.  He argues for a general reliance on commonly used words that will allow the meaning of the play to be accessible to the greatest number of people in the audience (more on this in the next chapter).

He also spends some time classifying different ways in which words can be used to paint pictures in the the mind of an audience; in particular through what he refers to as metaphor.  This discussion is not, strictly speaking, about metaphors as we would understand them (at least at first).  The discussion seems to have more in common with our idea of analogy expressed as a kind of (mathematical) set theory.

The relevance of these classifications to the modern writer are a little hard to fathom, but for the sake of completeness, here’s a quick rundown of how Aristotle sees them.

If I say “my ship lies at anchor”, I am employing an instance “lies at anchor” of a greater set of “things which lie still”.

If I say “there lies my ship”, I am employing the greater set of “things which lie still” to describe the specific instance of “lying at anchor”.

If I say “the sword clove the air and separated his head from his body” I am using two specific instances (“cleaving” and “separating”) of the greater set of “things which are split”.

When Aristotle moves on to discuss the impact of metaphor, his advice becomes more practical in nature.

Concepts can also be related to one another through analogy even in apparant contradiction.  “A cup of alcohol is the shield of a drunkard.  A shield is the cup of a warrior”.  The apparent falsehood of the analogy forces the audience member to think and come to see a new meaning.  Alcohol makes the drinker dull to pain, in a way, acting as a shield.  Arms and armor are intoxicating and exciting to the warrior, in a way, acting as a cup.

In English, metaphor refers to analogies where one thing is identified with another (“he is a fox”) and simile refers to analogies where on thing likened to another (“he is like a fox”).  

Whether in the form of a simile or a metaphor, an analogy creates interest for the audience and paints a picture in the mind that can be invaluable in communicating ideas (particularly abstract ideas) through drama.

SIR DAVIS: The honorable member has her snout in every opportunity for graft that our community presents.

WALTER: When Marcus goes to his dance class he looks like a hippo in a leotard.

Artistotle spends some time talking about new words also.  These are words invented to help the author communicate his/her thought.  It is often stated that Shakespeare invented some 1700 words.  This is actually a bit of a myth, since what is true is that he is the first recorded user of 1700 words that had previously not appeared in print.  That said, he did, in fact, invent at least 420 words of his own.  He would conjoin words, change verbs into adjectives, use nouns as verbs, add prefixes to words, add suffixes to words, and shorten words.  Authors and dramatists have always done this.  The science fiction writer, William Gibson has invented words such as “channel-zap” and “neuromancy” as a shorthand to express ideas that were otherwise difficult  or clumsy to communicate.  The important thing to remember about introducing a new words is that it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, but the context must make the meaning clear.  Otherwise confusion results.

Chapter 22 – Style

In chapter 22, Aristotle deals with style.  His preference is for “startling simplicity”.  He argues in favor of using simple, familiar words, but warns against using them in a conventional (and cliche) way.  He warns against jargon and employing common phrases that are so familiar they slide past us without really entering our minds.  Phrases such as “at the end of the day…” have become so worn out by use in our own time that they can be dropped altogether without harming a piece of dialog in any way.  Instead, Aristotle suggests that simple language be used to create attention grabbing phrases (without, of course, drawing unnecessary attention to themselves).  A writer wants the attention of the audience, but does not want the audience to focus that attention on the words themselves.  It is a fine line to walk and, as discussed above, he suggests metaphor  is the best way to be startling while being simple.

BOB: I walked in on Steve and his girlfriend this afternoon.  You never really notice how much kissing sounds like a cow pulling it’s foot out of the mud until you’re forced to listen to a pair of teenagers going for it in the next room.

Complex, large, and rare words are not to be rejected altogether, of course.  They are still useful for characterization.  Shakespeare would commonly put large and rare words, wrongly applied, into the mouths of characters he wished to suggest were ridiculous, pompous, or ignorant.

ELSIE: One day I want to be effluent, mom.

MOTHER: I think you mean affluent, darling.

ELSIE: Yeah.  That’s what I said.

Chapter 23 – Drama vs. History

Aristotle uses chapter 23 to discuss the differences between a series of events being recounted (such as a history) and a dramatic work.  Historical happenings are not necessarily connected.  The real world is like that.  I might do a dozen unconnected things in any given day.  A history of my day, however true or accurate, would not be a good subject for drama.  

Drama presents a series of unified events with a beginning, middle, and end that tend to be connected causally and feel unified (around a theme or character goal).

For Aristotle this is a matter of selection and exclusion.  He advises us to only select what is essential to the telling of the story and exclude all else.

With regard to the connections between events that form a story and provide a story with unity, I imagine he would likely have approved of Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s oft-quoted advice that story episodes should avoid being connected by “and then” but instead be made up of connections such as “but”, “so”, “therefore”, and occasionally “meanwhile”.

Chapter 24 – The Epic

In chapter 24, Aristotle turns his attention to the epic.  In our own time, the epic is best thought of as a series.  Series’ come in several types; the episodic series, the anthology series, and the serial.  At present we are living in a golden age of serial story telling, but the other forms are still alive and kicking.  

The episodic series concerns itself with a telling a single story in each episode with all plot lines resolved by the time the credits are reached.  It is unified by the presence of recurring characters around whom each episode concentrates.

An anthology series tells stories that are self-contained yet unconnected.  Presenting different characters, locations, and events in each episode.  Anthologies tend to be unified around a particular theme (tales with a twist, tales of adventure, ghost stories, science fiction stories, etc.)

The serial follows a particular set of characters through numerous connected episodes that, like the tragedy, unfold as a single large tale.  This larger scale of the epic allows greater development of character and and a broader exploration of incident, but in most other regards, must follow the same rules that apply to all other drama.  It must be unified.  It must have a beginning, middle, and end.  It must be populated with characters who we can identify with.  It must involve turns of fortune that are believable and engage our emotions. 

The main distinction of the epic (or serial in modern terms) is that it can achieve a grandeur as a result of its scale that is often out of reach in the stand alone play.

Having discussed the value of long-form story-telling, Aristotle takes a slight digression to discuss how believability is achieved in drama.  He suggests that probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities.  What this means is that an impossibility that has the appearance of believability is more convincing than something that could really happen but doesn’t seem likely.

We will happily accept a talking cat in a story if the cat demonstrates a consistent and realistic character, far more readily than we would someone winning twenty consecutive games at the roulette wheel.  While a talking cat is impossible, it feels believable if all other elements are grounded.  Barring some manner of plausible explanation for the unusual coincidence (cheating, or magic, etc.), the random winning of 20 spins of the roulette wheel (while technically possible) is not plausible and will not easily be believed by an audience.  

Chapter 25 – Imitation

In this chapter, Aristotle takes critics to task.  He suggests that legitimate criticism consists in a critical examination of story structure (a kind of late justification for his own writing) and not in a criticism of factual errors.  As was noted at the beginning of this series, Aristotle views art is imitation.  The dramatist imitates life as it is or was, as we imagine it to be, or as it should be.  He allows for the fantastical far less than we do today, but permits it if, in doing so, we are given insight into the reality of living (through the awakening and purging of emotion).  For this reason he considers a play failed if it doesn’t present a turn, a recognition, a reversal, a sense of unity, properly motivated action, etc.  He does not however, judge the work faulty because the writer made an error of fact (mis-labeling a medical condition for example).

He also takes aim at, what could best be described as, bad-faith criticism.  Picking on a character’s speech because of faulty yet realistic grammar, deliberately not recognizing or understanding the purpose of a metaphor, writing a heroic adventure when the critic prefers a romance, etc.

The legitimate targets of criticism in Artistotle’s view are things which are impossible, irrational, morally harmful, contradictory, or poorly expressed. 

Each of these are important to the writer of audio drama to a greater or lesser degree.  Impossibility, irrationality, and contradiction all contribute directly to a failure in believability.  Even the most fantastical of tales must be believable in this sense.  Unmotivated or ridiculous actions (the irrational) and elements of the impossible that have not been established as a consistent part of the world will destroy believability and writers must strive to present the unbelievable in a well established and consistent framework in which actions and reactions are clearly motivated.  Where contradictions exist, the audience will become confused.  We don’t want our audience asking how could Jim be breaking into the bank’s vault at mid-day while sitting having lunch with his sister in the next scene at the same time.

We are not nearly as concerned today with drama as a means of moral education, but the moral impact of a work remains a matter of significant interest in our world and authors need to be aware of this dimension of writing and take responsibility for their choices.

Of all these matters, the primary concern of the audio dramatist is expression.  Is the story clear?  Do the characters feel real?  Is the structure satisfying?  Does the dialog and action elicit emotion?  Does the story feel unified?

Chapter 26 – What is best?

In this final chapter of his Poetics, Aristotle explains his view regarding which storytelling form is best (tragedy or epic).  He comes firmly  down on the side of tragedy, feeling that the greater efficiency and selectivity of the tragedy makes it superior to the epic.

He dispenses with the idea that the acting of a play can be used to judge its worth, arguing that performance is completely in the hands of the actor.  It is easy to agree with this, in part.  A bad performance says little, logically, about the quality of the play (though it is hard not to judge the play negatively when badly performed).  However, a good performance can create a positive impression about an otherwise sub-standard story.

For this reason alone, finding decent actors for a play is important.

The power of a play is present, fundamentally, on the page.  If it is badly written, structured, and expressed, a play will never be more than mediocre.  The success or otherwise of the play, ultimately, depends upon the writer and it is the writer’s responsibility to understand to the best of his/her ability the craft of storytelling in all its technical and aesthetic detail.

And there it is, an exploration of Aristotle’s Poetics applied to audio drama as best as I can manage it.  All in all, I think it was worth the time it has taken.  I can see the value that modern dramatists such as Aaron Sorkin and David Mamet find in it, though I don’t think it is terribly accessible to the modern reader.  I hope by working through it in this way, I might make it a bit more comprehensible to myself and others.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Learning from Aristotle – The Poetics of Aristotle Applied to Audio Drama – Part 6 (final) appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Ambrose Bierce
(in Can Such Things Be? New York: Cassell, 1893)

Public Domain License – This story is in the public domain and may be reproduced and shared freely.

I

For by death is wrought greater change than hath been shown. Whereas in general the spirit that removed cometh back upon occasion, and is sometimes seen of those in flesh (appearing in the form of the body it bore) yet it hath happened that the veritable body without the spirit hath walked. And it is attested of those encountering who have lived to speak thereon that a lich so raised up hath no natural affection, nor remembrance thereof, but only hate. Also, it is known that some spirits which in life were benign become by death evil altogether.—Hali.

ONE dark night in midsummer a man waking from a dreamless sleep in a forest lifted his head from the earth, and staring a few moments into the blackness, said: “Catherine Larue.” He said nothing more; no reason was known to him why he should have said so much.

The man was Halpin Frayser. He lived in St. Helena, but where he lives now is uncertain, for he is dead. One who practices sleeping in the woods with nothing under him but the dry leaves and the damp earth, and nothing over him but the branches from which the leaves have fallen and the sky from which the earth has fallen, cannot hope for great longevity, and Frayser had already attained the age of thirty-two. There are persons in this world, millions of persons, and far and away the best persons, who regard that as a very advanced age. They are the children. To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore. However, it is not certain that Halpin Frayser came to his death by exposure.

He had been all day in the hills west of the Napa Valley, looking for doves and such small game as was in season. Late in the afternoon it had come on to be cloudy, and he had lost his bearings; and although he had only to go always downhill—everywhere the way to safety when one is lost—the absence of trails had so impeded him that he was overtaken by night while still in the forest. Unable in the darkness to penetrate the thickets of manzanita and other undergrowth, utterly bewildered and overcome with fatigue, he had lain down near the root of a large madroño and fallen into a dreamless sleep. It was hours later, in the very middle of the night, that one of God’s mysterious messengers, gliding ahead of the incalculable host of his companions sweeping westward with the dawn line, pronounced the awakening word in the ear of the sleeper, who sat upright and spoke, he knew not why, a name, he knew not whose.

Halpin Frayser was not much of a philosopher, nor a scientist. The circumstance that, waking from a deep sleep at night in the midst of a forest, he had spoken aloud a name that he had not in memory and hardly had in mind did not arouse an enlightened curiosity to investigate the phenomenon. He thought it odd, and with a little perfunctory shiver, as if in deference to a seasonal presumption that the night was chill, he lay down again and went to sleep. But his sleep was no longer dreamless.

He thought he was walking along a dusty road that showed white in the gathering darkness of a summer night. Whence and whither it led, and why he traveled it, he did not know, though all seemed simple and natural, as is the way in dreams; for in the Land Beyond the Bed surprises cease from troubling and the judgment is at rest. Soon he came to a parting of the ways; leading from the highway was a road less traveled, having the appearance, indeed, of having been long abandoned, because, he thought, it led to something evil; yet he turned into it without hesitation, impelled by some imperious necessity.

As he pressed forward he became conscious that his way was haunted by invisible existences whom he could not definitely figure to his mind. From among the trees on either side he caught broken and incoherent whispers in a strange tongue which yet he partly understood. They seemed to him fragmentary utterances of a monstrous conspiracy against his body and soul.

It was now long after nightfall, yet the interminable forest through which he journeyed was lit with a wan glimmer having no point of diffusion, for in its mysterious lumination nothing cast a shadow. A shallow pool in the guttered depression of an old wheel rut, as from a recent rain, met his eye with a crimson gleam. He stooped and plunged his hand into it. It stained his fingers; it was blood! Blood, he then observed, was about him everywhere. The weeds growing rankly by the roadside showed it in blots and splashes on their big, broad leaves. Patches of dry dust between the wheelways were pitted and spattered as with a red rain. Defiling the trunks of the trees were broad maculations of crimson, and blood dripped like dew from their foliage.

All this he observed with a terror which seemed not incompatible with the fulfillment of a natural expectation. It seemed to him that it was all in expiation of some crime which, though conscious of his guilt, he could not rightly remember. To the menaces and mysteries of his surroundings the consciousness was an added horror. Vainly he sought by tracing life backward in memory, to reproduce the moment of his sin; scenes and incidents came crowding tumultuously into his mind, one picture effacing another, or commingling with it in confusion and obscurity, but nowhere could he catch a glimpse of what he sought. The failure augmented his terror; he felt as one who has murdered in the dark, not knowing whom nor why. So frightful was the situation—the mysterious light burned with so silent and awful a menace; the noxious plants, the trees that by common consent are invested with a melancholy or baleful character, so openly in his sight conspired against his peace; from overhead and all about came so audible and startling whispers and the sighs of creatures so obviously not of earth—that he could endure it no longer, and with a great effort to break some malign spell that bound his faculties to silence and inaction, he shouted with the full strength of his lungs! His voice broken, it seemed, into an infinite multitude of unfamiliar sounds, went babbling and stammering away into the distant reaches of the forest, died into silence, and all was as before. But he had made a beginning at resistance and was encouraged. He said:

“I will not submit unheard. There may be powers that are not malignant traveling this accursed road. I shall leave them a record and an appeal. I shall relate my wrongs, the persecutions that I endure—I, a helpless mortal, a penitent, an unoffending poet!” Halpin Frayser was a poet only as he was a penitent: in his dream.

Taking from his clothing a small red-leather pocketbook, one-half of which was leaved for memoranda, he discovered that he was without a pencil. He broke a twig from a bush, dipped it into a pool of blood and wrote rapidly. He had hardly touched the paper with the point of his twig when a low, wild peal of laughter broke out at a measureless distance away, and growing ever louder, seemed approaching ever nearer; a soulless, heartless, and unjoyous laugh, like that of the loon, solitary by the lakeside at midnight; a laugh which culminated in an unearthly shout close at hand, then died away by slow gradations, as if the accursed being that uttered it had withdrawn over the verge of the world whence it had come. But the man felt that this was not so—that it was near by and had not moved.

A strange sensation began slowly to take possession of his body and his mind. He could not have said which, if any, of his senses was affected; he felt it rather as a consciousness—a mysterious mental assurance of some overpowering presence— some supernatural malevolence different in kind from the invisible existences that swarmed about him, and superior to them in power. He knew that it had uttered that hideous laugh. And now it seemed to be approaching him; from what direction he did not know—dared not conjecture. All his former fears were forgotten or merged in the gigantic terror that now held him in thrall. Apart from that, he had but one thought: to complete his written appeal to the benign powers who, traversing the haunted wood, might some time rescue him if he should be denied the blessing of annihilation. He wrote with terrible rapidity, the twig in his fingers rilling blood without renewal; but in the middle of a sentence his hands denied their service to his will, his arms fell to his sides, the book to the earth; and powerless to move or cry out, he found himself staring into the sharply drawn face and blank, dead eyes of his own mother, standing white and silent in the garments of the grave!

II

IN his youth Halpin Frayser had lived with his parents in Nashville, Tennesee. The Fraysers were well-to-do, having a good position in such society as had survived the wreck wrought by civil war. Their children had the social and educational opportunities of their time and place, and had responded to good associations and instruction with agreeable manners and cultivated minds. Halpin being the youngest and not over robust was perhaps a trifle “spoiled.” He had the double disadvantage of a mother’s assiduity and a father’s neglect. Frayser père was what no Southern man of means is not—a politician. His country, or rather his section and State, made demands upon his time and attention so exacting that to those of his family he was compelled to turn an ear partly deafened by the thunder of the political captains and the shouting, his own included.

Young Halpin was of a dreamy, indolent and rather romantic turn, somewhat more addicted to literature than law, the profession to which he was bred. Among those of his relations who professed the modern faith of heredity it was well understood that in him the character of the late Myron Bayne, a maternal great-grandfather, had revisited the glimpses of the moon—by which orb Bayne had in his lifetime been sufficiently affected to be a poet of no small Colonial distinction. If not specially observed, it was observable that while a Frayser who was not the proud possessor of a sumptuous copy of the ancestral “poetical works” (printed at the family expense, and long ago withdrawn from an inhospitable market) was a rare Frayser indeed, there was an illogical indisposition to honor the great deceased in the person of his spiritual successor. Halpin was pretty generally deprecated as an intellectual black sheep who was likely at any moment to disgrace the flock by bleating in meter. The Tennessee Fraysers were a practical folk—not practical in the popular sense of devotion to sordid pursuits, but having a robust contempt for any qualities unfitting a man for the wholesome vocation of politics.

In justice to young Halpin it should be said that while in him were pretty faithfully reproduced most of the mental and moral characteristics ascribed by history and family tradition to the famous Colonial bard, his succession to the gift and faculty divine was purely inferential. Not only had he never been known to court the muse, but in truth he could not have written correctly a line of verse to save himself from the Killer of the Wise. Still, there was no knowing when the dormant faculty might wake and smite the lyre.

In the meantime the young man was rather a loose fish, anyhow. Between him and his mother was the most perfect sympathy, for secretly the lady was herself a devout disciple of the late and great Myron Bayne, though with the tact so generally and justly admired in her sex (despite the hardy calumniators who insist that it is essentially the same thing as cunning) she had always taken care to conceal her weakness from all eyes but those of him who shared it. Their common guilt in respect of that was an added tie between them. If in Halpin’s youth his mother had “spoiled” him, he had assuredly done his part toward being spoiled. As he grew to such manhood as is attainable by a Southerner who does not care which way elections go the attachment between him and his beautiful mother—whom from early childhood he had called Katy—became yearly stronger and more tender. In these two romantic natures was manifest in a signal way that neglected phenomenon, the dominance of the sexual element in all the relations of life, strengthening, softening, and beautifying even those of consanguinity. The two were nearly inseparable, and by strangers observing their manner were not infrequently mistaken for lovers.

Entering his mother’s boudoir one day Halpin Frayser kissed her upon the forehead, toyed for a moment with a lock of her dark hair which had escaped from its confining pins, and said, with an obvious effort at calmness:

“Would you greatly mind, Katy, if I were called away to California for a few weeks?”

It was hardly needful for Katy to answer with her lips a question to which her telltale cheeks had made instant reply. Evidently she would greatly mind; and the tears, too, sprang into her large brown eyes as corroborative testimony.

“Ah, my son,” she said, looking up into his face with infinite tenderness, “I should have known that this was coming. Did I not lie awake a half of the night weeping because, during the other half, Grandfather Bayne had come to me in a dream, and standing by his portrait—young, too, and handsome as that—pointed to yours on the same wall? And when I looked it seemed that I could not see the features; you had been painted with a face cloth, such as we put upon the dead. Your father has laughed at me, but you and I, dear, know that such things are not for nothing. And I saw below the edge of the cloth the marks of hands on your throat—forgive me, but we have not been used to keep such things from each other. Perhaps you have another interpretation. Perhaps it does not mean that you will go to California. Or maybe you will take me with you?”

It must be confessed that this ingenious interpretation of the dream in the light of newly discovered evidence did not wholly commend itself to the son’s more logical mind; he had, for the moment at least, a conviction that it foreshadowed a more simple and immediate, if less tragic, disaster than a visit to the Pacific Coast. It was Halpin Frayser’s impression that he was to be garroted on his native heath.

“Are there not medicinal springs in California?” Mrs. Frayser resumed before he had time to give her the true reading of the dream—” places where one recovers from rheumatism and neuralgia? Look—my fingers feel so stiff; and I am almost sure they have been giving me great pain while I slept.”

She held out her hands for his inspection. What diagnosis of her case the young man may have thought it best to conceal with a smile the historian is unable to state, but for himself he feels bound to say that fingers looking less stiff, and showing fewer evidences of even insensible pain, have seldom been submitted for medical inspection by even the fairest patient desiring a prescription of unfamiliar scenes.

The outcome of it was that of these two odd persons having equally odd notions of duty, the one went to California, as the interest of his client required, and the other remained at home in compliance with a wish that her husband was scarcely conscious of entertaining.

While in San Francisco Halpin Frayser was walking one dark night along the water front of the city, when, with a suddenness that surprised and disconcerted him, he became a sailor. He was in fact “shanghaied” aboard a gallant, gallant ship, and sailed for a far countree. Nor did his misfortunes end with the voyage; for the ship was cast ashore on an island of the South Pacific, and it was six years afterward when the survivors were taken off by a venturesome trading schooner and brought back to San Francisco.

Though poor in purse, Frayser was no less proud in spirit than he had been in the years that seemed ages and ages ago. He would accept no assistance from strangers, and it was while living with a fellow survivor near the town of St. Helena, awaiting news and remittances from home, that he had gone gunning and dreaming.

III

THE apparition confronting the dreamer in the haunted wood—the thing so like, yet so unlike his mother—was horrible! It stirred no love nor longing in his heart; it came unattended with pleasant memories of a golden past—inspired no sentiment of any kind; all the finer emotions were swallowed up in fear. He tried to turn and run from before it, but his legs were as lead; he was unable to lift his feet from the ground. His arms hung helpless at his sides; of his eyes only he retained control, and these he dared not remove from the lusterless orbs of the apparition, which he knew was not a soul without a body, but that most dreadful of all existences infesting that haunted wood—a body without a soul! In its blank stare was neither love, nor pity, nor intelligence—nothing to which to address an appeal for mercy. “An appeal will not lie,” he thought, with an absurd reversion to professional slang, making the situation more horrible, as the fire of a cigar might light up a tomb.

For a time, which seemed so long that the world grew gray with age and sin, and the haunted forest, having fulfilled its purpose in this monstrous culmination of its terrors, vanished out of his consciousness with all its sights and sounds, the apparition stood within a pace, regarding him with the mindless malevolence of a wild brute; then thrust its hands forward and sprang upon him with appalling ferocity! The act released his physical energies without unfettering his will; his mind was still spellbound, but his powerful body and agile limbs, endowed with a blind, insensate life of their own, resisted stoutly and well. For an instant he seemed to see this unnatural contest between a dead intelligence and a breathing mechanism only as a spectator—such fancies are in dreams; then he regained his identity almost as if by a leap forward into his body, and the straining automaton had a directing will as alert and fierce as that of its hideous antagonist.

But what mortal can cope with a creature of his dream? The imagination creating the enemy is already vanquished; the combat’s result is the combat’s cause. Despite his struggles—despite his strength and activity, which seemed wasted in a void, he felt the cold fingers close upon his throat. Borne backward to the earth, he saw above him the dead and drawn face within a hand’s breadth of his own, and then all was black. A sound as of the beating of distant drums—a murmur of swarming voices, a sharp, far cry signing all to silence, and Halpin Frayser dreamed that he was dead.

IV

A WARM, clear night had been followed by a morning of drenching fog. At about the middle of the afternoon of the preceding day a little whiff of light vapor—a mere thickening of the atmosphere, the ghost of a cloud—had been observed clinging to the western side of Mount St. Helena, away up along the barren altitudes near the summit. It was so thin, so diaphanous, so like a fancy made visible, that one would have said: “Look quickly! in a moment it will be gone.”

In a moment it was visibly larger and denser. While with one edge it clung to the mountain, with the other it reached farther and farther out into the air above the lower slopes. At the same time it extended itself to north and south, joining small patches of mist that appeared to come out of the mountain-side on exactly the same level, with an intelligent design to be absorbed. And so it grew and grew until the summit was shut out of view from the valley, and over the valley itself was an ever-extending canopy, opaque and gray. At Calistoga, which lies near the head of the valley and the foot of the mountain, there were a starless night and a sunless morning. The fog, sinking into the valley, had reached southward, swallowing up ranch after ranch, until it had blotted out the town of St. Helena, nine miles away. The dust in the road was laid; trees were adrip with moisture; birds sat silent in their coverts; the morning light was wan and ghastly, with neither color nor fire.

Two men left the town of St. Helena at the first glimmer of dawn, and walked along the road northward up the valley toward Calistoga. They carried guns on their shoulders, yet no one having knowledge of such matters could have mistaken them for hunters of bird or beast. They were a deputy sheriff from Napa and a detective from San Francisco—Holker and Jaralson, respectively. Their business was man-hunting.

“How far is it?” inquired Holker, as they strode along, their feet stirring white the dust beneath the damp surface of the road.

“The White Church? Only a half mile farther,” the other answered. “By the way,” he added, “it is neither white nor a church; it is an abandoned schoolhouse, gray with age and neglect. Religious services were once held in it when it—was white, and there is a graveyard that would delight a poet. Can you guess why I sent for you, and told you to come heeled?”

“Oh, I never have bothered you about things of that kind. I’ve always found you communicative when the time came. But if I may hazard a guess, you want me to help you arrest one of the corpses in the graveyard.”

“You remember Branscom?” said Jaralson, treating his companion’s wit with the inattention that it deserved.

“The chap who cut his wife’s throat? I ought; I wasted a week’s work on him and had my expenses for my trouble. There is a reward of five hundred dollars, but none of us ever got a sight of him. You don’t mean to say——”

“Yes, I do. He has been under the noses of you fellows all the time. He comes by night to the old graveyard at the White Church.”

“The devil! That’s where they buried his wife.”

“Well, you fellows might have had sense enough to suspect that he would return to her grave some time.”

“The very last place that anyone would have expected him to return to.”

“But you had exhausted all the other places. Learning your failure at them, I ‘laid for him’ there.”

“And you found him?”

“Damn it! he found me. The rascal got the drop on me—regularly held me up and made me travel. It’s God’s mercy that he didn’t go through me. Oh, he’s a good one, and I fancy the half of that reward is enough for me if you’re needy.”

Holker laughed good humoredly, and explained that his creditors were never more importunate.

“I wanted merely to show you the ground, and arrange a plan with you,” the detective explained. “I thought it as well for us to be heeled, even in daylight.”

“The man must be insane,” said the deputy sheriff. “The reward is for his capture and conviction. If he’s mad he won’t be convicted.”

Mr. Holker was so profoundly affected by that possible failure of justice that he involuntarily stopped in the middle of the road, then resumed his walk with abated zeal.

“Well, he looks it,” assented Jaralson. “I’m bound to admit that a more unshaven, unshorn, unkempt, and uneverything wretch I never saw outside the ancient and honorable order of tramps. But I’ve gone in for him, and can’t make up my mind to let go. There’s glory in it for us, anyhow. Not another soul knows that he is this side of the Mountains of the Moon.”

“All right,” Holker said; “we will go and view the ground,” and he added, in the words of a once favorite inscription for tombstones: ” ‘where you must shortly lie’—I mean, if old Branscom ever gets tired of you and your impertinent intrusion. By the way, I heard the other day that ‘Branscom’ was not his real name.”

“What is?”

“I can’t recall it. I had lost all interest in the wretch, and it did not fix itself in my memory—something like Pardee. The woman whose throat he had the bad taste to cut was a widow when he met her. She had come to California to look up some relatives—there are persons who will do that sometimes. But you know all that.”

“Naturally.”

“But not knowing the right name, by what happy inspiration did you find the right grave? The man who told me what the name was said it had been cut on the headboard.”

“I don’t know the right grave.” Jaralson was apparently a trifle reluctant to admit his ignorance of so important a point of his plan. “I have been watching about the place generally. A part of our work this morning will be to identify that grave. Here is the White Church.”

For a long distance the road had been bordered by fields on both sides, but now on the left there was a forest of oaks, madroños, and gigantic spruces whose lower parts only could be seen, dim and ghostly in the fog. The udergrowth was, in places, thick, but nowhere impenetrable. For some moments Holker saw nothing of the building, but as they turned into the woods it revealed itself in faint gray outline through the fog, looking huge and far away. A few steps more, and it was within an arm’s length, distinct, dark with moisture, and insignificant in size. It had the usual country-schoolhouse form—belonged to the packing-box order of architecture; had an underpinning of stones, a moss-grown roof, and blank window spaces, whence both glass and sash had long departed. It was ruined, but not a ruin—a typical Californian substitute for what are known to guide-bookers abroad as “monuments of the past.” With scarcely a glance at this uninteresting structure Jaralson moved on into the dripping undergrowth beyond.

“I will show you where he held me up,” he said. “This is the graveyard.”

Here and there among the bushes were small inclosures containing graves, sometimes no more than one. They were recognized as graves by the discolored stones or rotting boards at head and foot, leaning at all angles, some prostrate; by the ruined picket fences surrounding them; or, infrequently, by the mound itself showing its gravel through the fallen leaves. In many instances nothing marked the spot where lay the vestiges of some poor mortal—who, leaving “a large circle of sorrowing friends,” had been left by them in turn—except a depression in the earth, more lasting than that in the spirits of the mourners. The paths, if any paths had been, were long obliterated; trees of a considerable size had been permitted to grow up from the graves and thrust aside with root or branch the inclosing fences. Over all was that air of abandonment and decay which seems nowhere so fit and significant as in a village of the forgotten dead.

As the two men, Jaralson leading, pushed their way through the growth of young trees, that enterprising man suddenly stopped and brought up his shotgun to the height of his breast, uttered a low note of warning, and stood motionless, his eyes fixed upon something ahead. As well as he could, obstructed by brush, his companion, though seeing nothing, imitated the posture and so stood, prepared for what might ensue. A moment later Jaralson moved cautiously forward, the other following.

Under the branches of an enormous spruce lay the dead body of a man. Standing silent above it they noted such particulars as first strike the attention—the face, the attitude, the clothing; whatever most promptly and plainly answers the unspoken question of a sympathetic curiosity.

The body lay upon its back, the legs wide apart. One arm was thrust upward, the other outward; but the latter was bent acutely, and the hand was near the throat. Both hands were tightly clenched. The whole attitude was that of desperate but ineffectual resistance to—what?

Near by lay a shotgun and a game bag through the meshes of which was seen the plumage of shot birds. All about were evidences of a furious struggle; small sprouts of poison-oak were bent and denuded of leaf and bark; dead and rotting leaves had been pushed into heaps and ridges on both sides of the legs by the action of other feet than theirs; alongside the hips were unmistakable impressions of human knees.

The nature of the struggle was made clear by a glance at the dead man’s throat and face. While breast and hands were white, those were purple—almost black. The shoulders lay upon a low mound, and the head was turned back at an angle otherwise impossible, the expanded eyes staring blankly backward in a direction opposite to that of the feet. From the froth filling the open mouth the tongue protruded, black and swollen. The throat showed horrible contusions; not mere finger-marks, but bruises and lacerations wrought by two strong hands that must have buried themselves in the yielding flesh, maintaining their terrible grasp until long after death. Breast, throat, face, were wet; the clothing was saturated; drops of water, condensed from the fog, studded the hair and mustache.

All this the two men observed without speaking—almost at a glance. Then Holker said:

“Poor devil! he had a rough deal.”

Jaralson was making a vigilant circumspection of the forest, his shotgun held in both hands and at full cock, his finger upon the trigger.

“The work of a maniac,” he said, without withdrawing his eyes from the inclosing wood. “It was done by Branscom—Pardee.”

Something half hidden by the disturbed leaves on the earth caught Holker’s attention. It was a red-leather pocketbook. He picked it up and opened it. It contained leaves of white paper for memoranda, and upon the first leaf was the name “Halpin Frayser.” Written in red on several succeeding leaves—scrawled as if in haste and barely legible—were the following lines, which Holker read aloud, while his companion continued scanning the dim gray confines of their narrow world and hearing matter of apprehension in the drip of water from every burdened branch:

“Enthralled by some mysterious spell, I stood
In the lit gloom of an enchanted wood.
⁠The cypress there and myrtle twined their boughs,
Significant, in baleful brotherhood.

“The brooding willow whispered to the yew;
Beneath, the deadly nightshade and the rue,
⁠With immortelles self-woven into strange
Funereal shapes, and horrid nettles grew.

“No song of bird nor any drone of bees,
Nor light leaf lifted by the wholesome breeze:
⁠The air was stagnant all, and Silence was
A living thing that breathed among the trees.

“Conspiring spirits whispered in the gloom,
Half-heard, the stilly secrets of the tomb.
⁠With blood the trees were all adrip; the leaves
Shone in the witch-light with a ruddy bloom.

“I cried aloud!—the spell, unbroken still,
Rested upon my spirit and my will.
⁠Unsouled, unhearted, hopeless and forlorn,
I strove with monstrous presages of ill!

“At last the viewless——”

Holker ceased reading; there was no more to read. The manuscript broke off in the middle of a line.

“That sounds like Bayne,” said Jaralson, who was something of a scholar in his way. He had abated his vigilance and stood looking down at the body.

“Who’s Bayne?” Holker asked rather incuriously.

“Myron Bayne, a chap who flourished in the early years of the nation—more than a century ago. Wrote mighty dismal stuff; I have his collected works. That poem is not among them, but it must have been omitted by mistake.”

“It is cold,” said Holker; “let us leave here; we must have up the coroner from Napa.”

Jaralson said nothing, but made a movement in compliance. Passing the end of the slight elevation of earth upon which the dead man’s head and shoulders lay, his foot struck some hard substance under the rotting forest leaves, and he took the trouble to kick it into view. It was a fallen headboard, and painted on it were the hardly decipherable words, “Catharine Larue.”

“Larue, Larue!” exclaimed Holker, with sudden animation. “Why, that is the real name of Branscom—not Pardee. And—bless my soul! how it all comes to me—the murdered woman’s name had been Frayser!”

“There is some rascally mystery here,” said Detective Jaralson. “I hate anything of that kind.”

There came to them out of the fog—seemingly from a great distance—the sound of a laugh, a low, deliberate, soulless laugh, which had no more of joy than that of a hyena night-prowling in the desert; a laugh that rose by slow gradation, louder and louder, clearer, more distinct and terrible, until it seemed barely outside the narrow circle of their vision; a laugh so unnatural, so unhuman, so devilish, that it filled those hardy man-hunters with a sense of dread unspeakable! They did not move their weapons nor think of them; the menace of that horrible sound was not of the kind to be met with arms. As it had grown out of silence, so now it died away; from a culminating shout which had seemed almost in their ears, it drew itself away into the distance, until its failing notes, joyless and mechanical to the last, sank to silence at a measureless remove.

The post The Death of Halpin Frayser appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Believable Dialog

Dialog concentrates meaning.  While speech in real life sprawls and weaves and contradicts itself and follows tangents and gets lost and sometimes finds its way to the point via a circuitous route, dialog (with appropriate allowances for characterisation) homes in on the essential meaning in what is being said.

This is, in my opinion, an essential (if contested) element of dialog writing.  It should feel authentic without being realistic.  Realistic dialog bores the audience.  It’s tendency to meander fails to hold attention.  And in audio drama, failure to hold attention is a cardinal sin.  Efficiency is the key.

As a result, the dialog must feel real while being more efficient than real speech.

So, how is this feeling of reality achieved.  Allowing that this is a subjective judgment, there are some things that automatically reduce the degree to which an audience will believe in the authenticity of our characters’ interactions.

In real life, characters do not reveal to each other what the parties to the conversation already know.  Such talk is empty and feels inauthentic.

• BILL: As you know Emily, we married young and started a family too soon, but always loved each other through it all.

While people do engage in small talk in the real world, it is best for characters in an audio drama to skip small talk and address the point (directly or indirectly) as quickly as possible.  Small talk is a distraction that holds up the story and provides an opportunity for the audience to tune out or, worse, change the channel.

• BILL: Hi.
• JEN: Hi.
• BILL: How are you?
• JEN: Good.  And you?
• BILL: Not bad, considering the weather.

Character emotion must be motivated (via the text or subtext of the scene).  If a character is expressing emotion that the audience cannot explain through the context provided by the scene, it feels inauthentic and will throw the audience out of their willing suspension of disbelief.

• BILL: Happy Birthday, Jenny.  I hope you like it.
• JEN: Oh, it’s lovely.  How did you know?
• BILL: (ENRAGED) How dare you ask that!  How dare you!  You’re nothing but a tramp.  A complete tramp!

Character external knowledge must also be reasonable.  Having characters discuss things (events, ideas, actions, etc.) that they do not have access to is automatically spotted as inauthentic.  This is not to say that a genius character will not work for an audience.  Sherlock Holmes is great fun, but he is not a realistic character and his superhuman ability to know things must be well established for us before we will accept his pronouncements as authentic.  However, when the work of establishing how a character knows something is accomplished, the knowledge expressed does feel authentic (even where it is impossible).

• BOBBY: How was your paper round tonight, Billy?
• BILLY: I didn’t get too wet.
• BOBBY: So, did you think about my question?
• BILLY: Yeah.  Your calculations involve compensating for too many neutrinos.  Reduce the number of neutrinos in your estimate and I think the equation will work.
• BOBBY: You’re a marvel, Billy.  What would I do without you?

Internal knowledge must be reasonable also.  What is true regarding external knowledge is also true regarding internal knowledge.  A character who understands their own stormy sea of internal emotion with perfect insight and expresses this superhuman insight in conversation will not seem authentic (except, as in the case of a Sherlock Holmes of the mind, where this ability has been established ahead of time).

Human beings, with few exceptions, are a mystery to themselves and rarely understand, with complete clarity, their own emotions.

• BILL:    Why are you always so angry?
• JEN:     It’s because of my father.  He always favoured my sister and I could never do enough to please him.  I grew resentful and have internalised it to the extent that I respond to all men this way, now.

Whenever a character expresses knowledge (of themselves or the external world) or emotion for which the audience cannot detect a cause, the audience will likely assume they are hearing the voice of the author speaking rather than the character.

For dialog to feel authentic, it is important to keep a clear distinction between motivation (subtext) and justification (text).  There are many things we will not say out loud, not because they are not true, but because they come from our deepest and least worthy drives.  The murderer who says “I killed him because I wanted his wife for myself” will not seem authentic to the audience (unless motivated, believably, to the admission by circumstances that make the admission less costly than its concealment).  In life people do not come out and admit such things baldly.  Instead they produce justifications.  “She is better off without him”.  “He could not provide for her”. Etc.  We recognize these as excuses, but they feel more authentic than open statements (in part because we recognize the human tendency to rationalise behaviour).  The jaded villain, who is past the point of bothering to rationalise his behaviour, needs to be established for the audience if such, typically, on the nose dialog is to be accepted as authentic.

Exaggeration (of emotion, or action) rarely feels authentic without motivation, but extremes of emotion and action, if properly motivated, will always feel authentic.

Unnecessary ostentation should be avoided.  The desire to create characters that stand out in the imagination of our audience is a worthy one, but a little restraint will help make any ostentation believable.  In the realm of clothing choice, a character might, in our modern world, be able to get away with wearing a large coat with a heavy, old fashioned, mantle.  But push the ostentation too far and believability suffers.  A male character who habitually appears in public in Elizabethan garb (doublet, pantaloons, hosiery) will strain credibility (unless the choice is established in some way to begin with – and even then there is such a thing as “too much”).  Where ostentation becomes too much, it appears to exist for its own sake – drawing attention to itself in a way that breaks the willing suspension of disbelief.

Likewise with dialog.  Dialog can fall in love with itself and draw attention to itself as ostentatious expression.  At the point it does so, we lose our belief in its authenticity.

• BILL: I apologise that I have become so intoxicated with the exuberance of my own verbosity.

The opposite holds true as well.  Language that is so sparse and spare that it has no adornment whatsoever will feel robotic and inauthentic.

• BILL: Give me drink. Give me food.  I need nutrients.

The key is to motivate what comes out of the mouths of our characters appropriately.  The audience must always feel that there is a satisfying reason for what is being said and the way it is being said.  If a character IS a robot, then robotic speech is believable.  It is motivated appropriately.  Improperly motivated dialog will always come across as inauthentic.  To fix such dialog, we must either establish suitable causes for what is being said or, where no sufficient cause can be provided, remove the offending dialog.

The Subject Matter of Dialog

As noted earlier, dialog is action.  It wants to achieve something.  Therefore, dialog starts with a desire and proceeds as a means of achieving that desire.  It adapts according to the environment (to the external obstacles to the achievement of the desire) and according to the personality (to the internal habits of mind and limits that a person places on their speech).

Internal dialogue (the monologue) is a conversation held with oneself.  The most interesting monologues are conflicts.  The personality is at war with itself because two desires are at work and they appear incompatible.

• HAMLET: To be, or not to be, that is the question:
  Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
  The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
  Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
  And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep,
  No more; and by a sleep to say we end
  The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
  That flesh is heir to: ’tis a consummation
  Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
  To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there’s the rub:
  For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
  When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
  Must give us pause—there’s the respect
  That makes calamity of so long life.

Dialog proper, or its most commonly understood form, occurs between two people with differing motivations for the action of speech.  Again the most interesting dialog occurs where the desires of the individuals are incompatible and a conflict is occurring.

• BILL: We’re running out of time.  We have to save the driver.
• KELLY: If we do, those kids will drown.

Alternatively, perhaps the characters’ desires are aligned, but the stakes are too high for direct and open speech (two potential lovers, meeting for the first time, attracted to one another, but tip-toeing around the possibility of a relationship).  In such a case, the dialog is less a game of verbal fencing than an exploration of shared desire through metaphor. Meeting in a library, our two lovers discuss the books they enjoy as a means of exploring their compatibility; the books are incidental, what matters is what is revealed about their mutual needs and expectations for a relationship partner.

• BILL:    What kind of books do you like?
• JEN: Oh, you know.  The dependable sort.  The kind you can put down and pick up again with the same enjoyment you felt the first time you read it.  What about you?
• BILL: Oh, I like a book that thrills you down to your feet.  One that makes you forget there is anyone else in the entire world.  A book that feels like it was written just for you.

The Relationship between Dialog and the Scene

There are numerous reasons why dialog fails.

1. The inner desires or external circumstances of the character do not motivate or explain the action of speech (they appear unconnected and are, as a result, confusing).
2. There is a lack of harmony or balance between the motivations of the character and their expression in dialog (the character appears to be over- or under-reacting, creating a sense that something is off).
3. The language is bland, unfocused, inefficient, and generic (ignoring the rules of expression that would sharpen it to fit its purpose).
4. The dialog ignores the needs of the scene (it fails to build, through conflict, to a turning point).

In a scene where nothing changes, no story purpose is achieved.  Such a scene should be jettisoned.  If our dialog has not contributed to a change in the circumstances of the characters then it has failed to function as action.  A lack of action (resulting in change) is a clear sign that a scene serves no purpose and it is a high crime to leave an audience with no clear answer to the question “what was the point of all that talk?”.

• Dialog must involve some level of conflict (internal, external, both).
• It must build to a climactic crisis in which a significant change occurs.
• It must result in a new goal in which the character seeks to meet their motivating need via a new strategy.

Imagine for a moment that a couple enters a restaurant.  They are having relationship problems.  They sit, eat an enjoyable meal together and go home.

Well written dialog won’t save this scene from failing.  In fact, the scene pretty much guarantees the dialog won’t be well written.  The scene itself is irrelevant, contributing nothing to the story.

• SCENE: (INT) RESTAURANT (EVENING)
  (BILL, JEN)
• SOUND: RESTAURANT AMBIANCE
• BILL: Nice place.
• JEN: Yeah.
• BILL: You want to order?
• JEN: Sure.  I like the look of the duck.
• BILL: Duck it is.
• …
• …
• JEN: Well, that was lovely.
• BILL: Sure was.
• JEN: Shall we head home?
• BILL: Yeah.  I’ll get the car.

The scene is unmotivated.  Why are they visiting the restaurant?  Is it to try to rekindle what they have lost?  Is it to thrash out the details of their separation?  Is it so that one can break the bad news to the other (in a public place where it is less likely to result in a screaming match)?

Let’s give the scene some motivation.  Our characters are trying to give their flagging relationship a boost via a romantic dinner.  They sit, eat an enjoyable meal together and go home.  It is little different from the first scene and just as much a failure.  Why?  There is no conflict.

• SCENE: (INT) RESTAURANT (EVENING)
  (BILL, JEN)
• SOUND: RESTAURANT AMBIANCE
• BILL: It’s been a rough couple of months.
• JEN: Yeah, but this kind of makes up for it.
• BILL: Does it?
• JEN: (TEASING) I’ll keep you posted.
• BILL: You want to order?
• JEN: Sure.  I like the look of the duck.
• BILL: Duck it is.
• …
• …
• JEN: Well, that was lovely.
• BILL: Sure was.
• JEN: Shall we head home?
• BILL: Yeah.  I’ll get the car.

The two characters need to be motivated in different directions.  She must want an admission of his failings, while he must be looking to put the past behind him.  Or he must be struggling with his feelings of betrayal while she is rediscovering what she loved about him in the first place.

The structure of the scene can be improved.  They enter the restaurant seeking to rekindle their flagging romance.  They sit, eat an enjoyable meal together, but every time she tries to take advantage of the romantic setting he redirects the conversation to his own feelings of betrayal.  At the end of the scene they go home.

• SCENE: (INT) RESTAURANT (EVENING)
  (BILL, JEN)
• SOUND: RESTAURANT AMBIANCE
• BILL: It’s been a rough couple of months.
• JEN: Yeah, but this kind of makes up for it.
• BILL: Does it?
• JEN: Sorry, I won’t push.  You want to order?
• BILL: Not yet.  I’m still not comfortable with playing the happy couple again.
• JEN: You remember this place.  The memories are… special.
• BILL: Don’t change the subject.
• JEN: I’m not.  You are.  We came here for this.
• BILL: This what?
• JEN: The atmosphere.  The memories.  The chance to… heal.
• BILL: I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.
• JEN: Try the duck.
• …
• …
• JEN: Well, that was lovely.
• BILL: Was it?
• JEN: I’m trying Bill.  Damnit, that’s what this whole night was supposed to be about. 
• BILL: Let’s head home.

The scene fails, regardless of the dialog, because it achieves no change.  The behavior (and dialog) is motivated, a conflict exists, but no crisis occurs to force a change.

Let’s structure the scene differently again.

• SCENE:            (INT) RESTAURANT (EVENING)
  (BILL, JEN, WAITER)
• SOUND:           RESTAURANT AMBIANCE
• BILL:                It’s been a rough couple of months.
• JEN:                 Yeah, but this kind of makes up for it.
• BILL:                Does it?
• JEN:                 Sorry, I won’t push.  You want to order?
• BILL:                Not yet.  I’m still not comfortable with playing the happy couple again.
• JEN:                 You remember this place.  The memories are… special.
• BILL:                Don’t change the subject.
• JEN:                 I’m not.  You are.  We came here for this.
• BILL:                This what?
• JEN:                 This atmosphere.  The memories.  The setting.  The chance to… heal.
• BILL:                I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.  We need to talk about what happened.  You owe me that much.
• JEN:                 I owe you… At least meet me half way.  Take a look at the menu.
• BILL:                I don’t think so.  I didn’t come here to participate in another of your stage-managed farces.
• JEN:                 But Bill…
• BILL:                I’m moving out, Jen.  I’m going back to the apartment to pack a bag.
• JEN:                 Please, Bill.  Just look at the menu.
• BILL:                Did you even hear me Jen.  I’m leaving.  We’re done.
• JEN:                 No, Bill please.  Take a look at the…
• BILL:                Goodbye Jen.
• SOUND:           BILL GETS UP AND LEAVES.
• WAITER:          (BEAT) I’m sorry, miss.  This fell out of the menu.
• JEN:                 Oh.  Uh… thanks Angelo.  The letter won’t be needed now.  Bill’s gone. He never saw it.

The couple’s relationship is flagging.  She wants to try again via a night at a restaurant.  He has been feeling betrayed.  He wants to talk about it.  She wants to take advantage of the setting to reignite the sense of romance they have lost.  Every time he tries to raise the issue, she deflects to a discussion of the setting, trying to get him to notice the menu.  He gets more frustrated.  She wants to leave the past behind.  She invites him to immerse himself in the mood of their setting, to see the effort she has gone to, to notice the menu in which she has placed a letter in which she has tried to address his issues.  But he keeps focusing on himself.  Nothing is going the way she had hoped.  At last he gets up, declaring that it is hopeless and that he is going to move out.

Now we have a scene.  The dialog in such a scene needs to build via the conflict, through what is said, and left unsaid, to the crisis that instigates a change: he moves out.  The status quo is broken.  Now she must establish a new goal or perhaps she will maintain the old goal, pursuing it via a new strategy.

We can rewrite our dialog forever and a day and we won’t save a scene that is structurally flawed.  But if our scene structure is sound, then it will be improved by careful dialog.

Characterisation

The first voice we express ourselves in is our own.  As a result, our characters tend to speak with variations of our voice as well. It is a common complaint against writers of drama (even against some of the best in the business) that characters sound too much alike.

It is not an easy thing to cure.  Characters get their unique style of speech from the world in which they are immersed (their job and home life), the people they interact with (bosses vs. friends, etc.), their up-bringing (the knowledge and experiences that shapes their expression), their personalities and traits (loud, passive aggressive, shrill, histrionic, mild, laconic, taciturn, etc.) and their own linguistic quirks (the catchphrases and habitual expressions that uniquely identify them).

Planning Character

Identity is expressed in language.

To give your character his or her unique voice start by considering the character’s background and ethnicity.

Does the character speak with an accent?  Is there no accent, but they speak with the careful precision of someone raised with another native tongue.  Is there English broken or shaped by a regional dialect?  Is their vocabulary that of someone who has been highly educated?  Do they speak in a manner that betrays little education?  What family sayings have they picked up?

Next consider the character’s personality and beliefs.

What impact do their beliefs have?  Would they swear?  Is blasphemy something they would use?  Do they employ the language of a specific subculture (Muslim, Christian, Existentialist, Budhist, Scientologist, Baseball fan, Gambler etc.)?

Is the character loud, quiet, loquacious, taciturn, thoughtful, impulsive, active, lazy, passive, enthusiastic, jaded, innocent, apathetic, etc.?  What impact does this have on how they talk?

Consider the language of the workplace.

What specific knowledge does the character have that shapes the way they think and seeps into their speech?  Accountants refer to “the bottom line”.  Sports-folk refer to “own goals”.  Detectives talk about “liking” someone for a crime.  A mechanic might refer to “blowing a gasket”.

People use different registers in different spaces.  Someone might use “sir” when addressing the boss, but “mate” when addressing their next-door neighbor.  Alternatively, they might only ever use an honorific (such as Mr. or Mrs.).  Depending on their personality, they might resent social distinctions and be at pains never to directly draw attention to them.

What specific catch-phrases does the character have that sets them apart.  Do they say “Jinkies” like Velma Dinkley or exclaim “flummery” like Nero Wolfe.  Do they refer to things as being “elementary” like Sherlock Holmes or habitually respond with the word “indeed” like Gandalf the Gray.  Of course, you want to invent something unique to your own character.  Borrowing something from another character will, of course, appear hackneyed and cliché.

Once you have the answers to these questions, it can be helpful to record the habitual but unique things that your character says.

What does your character say when they are surprised?  Hurt?  Angry?  Frustrated?  Joyful?  Happy? Sad? Etc.

Example

Gwen Ross holds a Phd. in herpetology (the study of reptiles) and speaks with a southern accent.  She’s highly educated, and quite the snob regarding it.  She speaks condescendingly to others and frequently employs sarcasm.  Her language is academic.  She uses the word “ophidian” when she means snake, in part because she thinks in the terms of her academic discipline, and in part because understanding the term is a shibboleth for determining whether others are worth her time.  She uses famous theorists in the study of reptiles to swear by (“What, in the name of Louis Aggaziz, is going on?”).  She addresses people formally (Mr. Mrs. Etc.) but only because she requires people to acknowledge her status as Dr. Gwen Ross.  She uses phrases like “balderdash” to express disagreement and expresses pleasure only in a muted manner (never wanting others to feel too happy with themselves) with terms such as “very satisfactory”.

Expressing Character

In general, nouns and verbs express a character’s intellectual life (what they know) while modifiers (adverbs, adjectives, and modalities) express the emotional life and personality (what they feel and how they express themselves).

A character who knows little about a subject will use generic nouns and refer to a surgeon’s knife rather than a scalpel.  A character with specific expertise in chemistry will refer to a Schlenk flask while someone without might refer to the same piece of equipment (incorrectly) as a narrow jar.

In the same way that nouns reveal knowledge, verbs do as well.

A character who describes someone in generic terms gives the impression of knowing less about the person than someone who is being specific.  To say someone “walked across the room” suggests that, while the action was noticed, it wasn’t given much attention.  To say someone “flounced across the room” or “slunk across the room” or even “strode across the room” suggests more attention was paid, and by implication suggests the watcher knows more.

Adjectives reveal personality.  The person who describes a zeppelin as “big” is likely to be of quite a different temperament to someone who describes it as “huge”, “enormous” or “stupendous”.

Likewise the choice of adverb reveals different things about a character.  The character who says someone spoke “loudly” is revealing a quite different personal reaction to the speech than a character who says someone spoke “ferociously”.

It is generally best to avoid the passive voice, but in terms of characterisation it can be useful as a way of revealing personality.  Someone who explains that “my wife planned the party” is likely of a different disposition to someone who explains that “the party was planned by my wife”.

In an earlier discussion on verbs (the series of articles on grammar for audio-writers) I neglected to mention modal verbs.  These also express personality.  Modal verbs are used to express possibility or necessity and include words such as “could, should, must, will, shall, might, and may”.  The character who says “people should care for one another” is likely quite different from one who says “people must learn to treat each other more kindly”.

The unique words character’s use, peppered throughout their speech in the unique way in which they use them, gives each character his/her own voice.  The character’s inner desires (what they wish to achieve) determines what they attempt to say and when they say it.

One last point worth making is that characters use shorter sentences when under pressure and longer sentences when relaxed.  You can convey a lot about the power relationships in a conversation by your choice of who gets to speak longer, more relaxed sentences and who speaks in clipped, short, terse speech.

Dialog is Motivated Action

As stated above, dialog is action.  Not in the sense of a car chase or a fight, but in the sense that speech is a means of trying to achieve a goal.  In audio drama, dialog is the primary way in which our characters express action.  But dialog is also motivated action; action (in terms of the specific verbal strategies employed) that arises from internal desires and needs (both conscious and unconscious) and the constraints (personal, and environmental) placed on that action.

Every character is motivated by over-arching, long-term, goals and in-the-moment (short-term goals).  Bob wants to secure custody of his son (long-term) and in-the-moment wants, despite his insolvency, to convince a lawyer to take him on as a client (short-term).

On top of this, every character is motivated consciously (by what they think they want) and unconsciously (by what they, most deeply, need – though they may be unaware of it).  Bob wants to provide for his son, who has been abandoned by his mother.  Bob needs to be seen, despite a long string of failures and humiliations, as a success – a responsible person, capable of raising a child; the father figure that he never had himself.

And on top of this are the constraints (environmental and internal) that are forcing and restraining action.  If Bob is non-confrontational, perhaps he will attempt to manipulate with his speech, seeking pity, or engaging in emotional blackmail (internal/personal constraints).  If Bob is afraid of looking like a bad person in his son’s eyes, he might avoid engaging in illegality or bribery to achieve his aims (external/environmental constraints).  Again this is reflected in dialog.

Scenes test the Character’s Agency (or ability and willingness to act)

Let’s suppose that Bob (from our example above) has entered the lawyer’s office.  He is hopeful that he will be able to get things underway so that he can gain custody of his son but he’s also aware that his financial resources are almost non-existant.  Let’s also suppose that the lawyer is something of a thin-skinned shark, who, when he identifies someone who can’t pay, enjoys humiliating them, safe in the knowledge they will never be his clients.  The dialog these characters engage in will test the constraints on Bob’s action that his personality and environment create.  Will Bob, when encountering the road-blocks created by the money-hungry lawyer, be able to secure his aid? Or will he be forced to compromise his principles for the sake of expediency?  Or will it all go horribly wrong?  The obstacles will test his character and the limits of his power (ability to influence the outcome).  His primary actions will be revealed in the dialog.

Given that Bob enters the encounter in a hopeful frame of mind, it goes without saying that the turn that must be embedded in this particular scene will leave him defeated regardless of the outcome.

• SCENE:            (INT) LAWYER’S OFFICE (MID MORNING)
•                         (LAWYER – MR. THORNTON, BOB, JONATHAN)
• SOUND:           DOOR CLOSES.
• LAWYER:         Is your boy comfortable in the waiting room, Mr. Webb?
• BOB:                He’s fine.  He shouldn’t hear none of our talk. 
• LAWYER:         As you wish.  He’ll be watched by my security.
• BOB:                I thought that guy looked outta place.  Big side of beef, ain’t he?
• LAWYER:         His name’s Jonathan.  This isn’t the safest of neighbourhoods.  (BEAT) Have a seat.  What can I do for you today?
• BOB:                I hear you’re a pretty good lawyer.
• LAWYER:         I earn my fee.
• BOB:                Good.  It’s about my boy that I’m here.  I need custody.
• LAWYER:         Custody, hmmmm?  It’s a lengthy and expensive business.
• BOB:                Things are pretty bad for him.
• LAWYER:         And you can pay?
• BOB:                I’d like to talk things over, at least.
• LAWYER:         We’ll come to that, Mr. Webb.  You need to know, off the bat, that I charge by the hour.
• BOB:                I was told you do work, here, on the poor side o’ town.
• LAWYER:         The “poor side of town”, as you put it, provides me with a good deal of money.
• BOB:                Uh-huh.  My boy is with his mom, officially.  But she’s always on a drunk and he spends most of his time with his Grandma.
• LAWYER:         You still haven’t told me if you can pay my fee, Mr. Webb.
• BOB:                But she’s old.  And her mind ain’t what it was.
• LAWYER:         Mr. Webb?
• BOB:                She damn near torched the house last week.
• LAWYER:         Mr. Webb.  You’re already on the clock and, whatever you’ve heard, I don’t work for free.  My rate is $160.00 an hour.  Can you meet it?
• BOB:                Ain’t you listening?  My boy’s in danger living with her.
• LAWYER:         I’ll take that as a “no” then.
• BOB:                Where’s a man s’posed to get that kind o’ money, anyway?
• LAWYER:         Borrow it.  The law’s not a charity, Mr Webb. For all I care, steal it. 
• BOB:                (SHOCKED) Steal it?  (BEAT) You’re not going to help me at all, are you?
• LAWYER:         If you think my help can be obtained without proper remuneration, then no.  You can pick up your bill on the way out.
• BOB:                Out?  Now you’re throwing me out?  I come here for help and you throw me out?
• LAWYER:         That’s about the sum of it.
• BOB:                Like garbage?  Just like that?
• LAWYER:         (SMIRKING) Stop it.  You’re embarrassing yourself.
• BOB:                It’s not the law as lacks charity, Mr. Thornton.  That’s your own shyster’s choice.
• LAWYER:         (BEAT – COLD SILENCE)
• SOUND:           BUZZER – LET IT FINISH.
• LAWYER:         (TO THE INTERCOM) Jonathan, would you come in here please?  Mr. Webb is refusing to leave.
• BOB:                Now, wait…
• LAWYER:         I don’t take kindly to insults, Mr. Webb.
• SOUND:           DOOR OPENS.
• JONATHAN:     You need me, Mr. Thornton?
• LAWYER:         Yes, Jonathan.  Mr. Webb is leaving. Now.
• BOB:                I’ll see myself out.
• LAWYER:         I’ don’t think so.  (BEAT – THEN TO JONATHAN) Jonathan, you go ahead and drag him out of here.  By the feet if you have to.  Drag him past that boy in the waiting room and dump him in the street “like garbage”.  Make sure you give him a few lumps for his trouble.  And throw the bill after him.
• BOB:                No. I… Urk…
• SOUND:           SCUFFLE – DOOR SLAMS – THEN SILENCE.

From a dramatic point of view, in a conflict between a relatively weak individual (Bob) who is trying to salvage what’s left of his pride and a powerful one (Mr. Thornton) who enjoys throwing his privilege around, getting a poke in (by calling Thornton a “shyster”), will always be met with overwhelming retaliation.  The more Bob tries to salvage some dignity, the more humiliation will be dolled out in response.  Thin-skinned sharks always smell blood in the water – and they don’t take slaps from their prey.  The dialog demonstrates this.

In the first half of the conversation, Bob wants to explain his need, to be heard, and to convince the lawyer to help.  Mr. Thornton wants only to determine Bob’s ability to pay.  It is the only thing he cares about.  When Bob realises this, he vents his frustration on an impassive Mr. Thornton who appears, despite his protests, to enjoy the sight of Bob’s humiliation.  When Bob lands an insult, Thornton’s pleasure turns to anger and he inflicts a punishing humiliation upon Bob.

The conflict and dialog grow, as action, directly out of the character’s needs (conscious and unconscious) and the strategies he is prepared to employ in their pursuit (playing the pity card, trying to salvage some pride with a – frankly weak – insult) revealed as they clash with the obstacles in the scene (the lawyer’s focus on his fee and his pettiness).  The dialog is action, an expression of the character’s strategies for gaining what he wants in the face of opposition.

The situation and relative power of the obstacles being faced and their amenability to influence by the strategies (in speech) that are employed, test the character’s agency and essential nature.  At the end of such a test, if written reasonably well, change has occurred, the plot is advanced, and we know the character more fully. This is the power of dialog.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Some Thoughts on Dialog appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Universal Style for Audio Writers

Strunk and White’s little pamphlet on style has been in use for decades and provides helpful principles for writers.  Their guide is a classic and is full of useful advice.  The advice should be followed judiciously, however.  Sometimes characterisation requires us to break these rules (some characters are meant to be pompous, overly formal, wordy, or difficult to understand) but in general, unless you have a specific reason not to, the advice should be followed.

Use the active voice

Passive sentences are weak.  Instead of a subject acting upon an object, the object is acted upon by the subject and the clarity and power of the sentence is lost.

Here is some passive dialog…

• JIM: I was given another deadline by the boss.
• BOB: Really?  I was given one too.
• JIM: I wonder if the same project was given to both of us?
• BOB: Maybe.  Projects are being handed out all over at the moment.  Too many to be unrelated.

It communicates, but it lacks immediacy.  Rewritten actively we get.

• JIM: The boss gave me another deadline.
• BOB: Really?  Me too.
• JIM: I wonder if he gave the same project to both of us?
• BOB: Maybe.  He’s been giving too many out for them to all be unrelated.

Remove small-talk and needless statements

Small talk and chat generally slows down and sucks the life out of dialog.

• BOB: Hi Jim.
• JIM: Hi Bob.
• BOB: You heading over to Macey’s?
• JIM: Yup.
• BOB: The one on fourth again?
• JIM: Nah.  The one on seventh.
• BOB: You don’t think they share their files?
• JIM: If they do, I’ll get thrown out quick smart.
• BOB: More likely they’ll call the cops.
• Dropping the small talk and clarifications immediately improves this dialog.
• BOB: You heading over to Macey’s again, Jim?
• JIM: I’m hoping the different stores don’t share their files.
• BOB: You know if they recognize you, they’ll call the cops, right?

Put statements in positive form

Negatives (indicated by the word “not”) weaken statements in dialog as well.

• BOB: You’re not honest.
• JIM: Sure.  But you didn’t pay attention to my warning.
• BOB: You’re warning wasn’t important.  It didn’t even make sense.
• JIM: Nah. You just don’t remember it.

In positive form the same dialog reads…

• BOB: You lied.
• JIM: Sure.  But you ignored my warning.
• BOB: It was pointless and confusing.
• JIM: Nah. You just forgot it.

Use definite, specific, concrete and commonly understood words.

General, indefinite, abstract and unfamiliar words take the wind out of sentences.

• JIM: Jack was disconsolate during the unfavourable weather.

Rewritten with more specific and familiar terms, the above sentence is greatly improved…

• JIM: Jack was upset during the storm.

Preference short words over long

Long words slow the pace of a sentence and tend to make lines sound pompous.

Compare

• JIM: I find brandy most efficacious for the alleviation of cerebral tribulation.

With

• JIM: Brandy eases my mind.

Omit unnecessary words

It is almost always the case that written speech can be made shorter and given more punch through the removal of unnecessary words.  Words that reflect characterisation are not unnecessary, but inefficient speech can always be tightened up without cheapening the characterisation.  Shortness is not a goal in itself but, when writing dialog, the real aim is to make every word count.

There are lots of common phrases, easy to reproduce in our writing because we hear them so often, that should be discarded as soon as they are discovered.

Compare…

• BOB:    Why are you looking so sour?
• JIM:     It’s due to the fact that I hate cheese sandwiches.

With

• BOB:    Why are you looking so sour?
• JIM:     I hate cheese sandwiches.

Or compare

• JIM: I want to talk about Maths because it is a subject which is close to my heart.

With

• JIM: I want to talk about Maths because it is close to my heart.

Unnecessary words creep in as additions to phrases as well.

Compare

• TOM: His story is a strange one.

With

• TOM: His story is strange.

Phrases such as “who is”, “which was”, and the like are often unnecessary.

Compare

• MICHAEL: Let me tell you about Jack, who is a member of the local police force.

With

• MICHAEL: Let me tell you about Jack, a member of the local police force.

Construct short direct speeches

Creating a wall of text can be intimidating, even for the best of actors.  Where possible, a writer should aim to break exposition up into shorter sections of speech.

In the film Charade (written by Peter Stone and directed by Stanley Donnen) the character of Mr. Bartholomew must deliver a long speech in a restaurant.  Below is a reworked version of the speech delivered in one long block.  Following that is the speech as it was delivered in the film.

• SCENE: (INT) FRENCH RESTAURANT (EARLY EVENING)
  (REGINA, BARTHOLOMEW)
• SOUND: RESTAURANT AMBIANCE (CLINKING CUTTLERY, CROCKERY, ETC. PEOPLE SPEAKING LOW) – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
• SOUND: FRENCH ACCORDIAN MUSIC – UNDER
• REGINA: (SCARED) Mr. Bartholomew: what is all this about? 
• BARTHOLOMEW: (TALKING IN A SLOW CONFIDENTIAL TONE) In nineteen fourty-four, five members of the O.S.S.- the military espionage unit – were ordered behind German lines for the purpose of delivering two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in gold to the French underground. The five men were, of course, your husband Charles; the three men who showed up at his funeral yesterday; and Carson Dyle.
• Instead of delivering the gold, they stole it by burying it then reporting that the Germans had captured it. All they had to do was come back after the war, dig it up, split it five ways. Quarter of a million dollars with no questions asked.
• Everything went smoothly enough until after the gold was buried. Then, before they could get out they were ambushed by a German patrol. A machine gun separated Scobie from his right hand, caught Carson Dyle full in the stomach.
• Carson Dyle was dead but Scobie was able to travel, so the others finally got back to the base and waited for the war to end, only Charles couldn’t wait quite as long as the others. He beat them back to the gold, took everything for himself, and disappeared. It’s taken Gideon, Tex and Scobie all this time to catch up with him again.
• REGINA: (DISTRESSED) But if they stole all that money, why can’t you arrest them?

Here is the version of the speech as scripted and delivered in the film…

• SCENE: (INT) FRENCH RESTAURANT (EARLY EVENING)
  (REGINA, BARTHOLOMEW, WAITER)
• SOUND: RESTAURANT AMBIANCE (CLINKING CUTTLERY, CROCKERY, ETC. PEOPLE SPEAKING LOW) – ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
• SOUND: FRENCH ACCORDIAN MUSIC – UNDER
• REGINA: (SCARED) Mr. Bartholomew: what is all this about? 
• BARTHOLOMEW: (TALKING IN A SLOW CONFIDENTIAL TONE) In nineteen fourty-four, five members of the O.S.S.- the military espionage unit – were ordered behind German lines for the purpose of delivering two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in gold to the French underground. The five men were, of course, your husband Charles; the three men who showed up at his funeral yesterday; and Carson Dyle.
• REGINA: Oh.
• BARTHOLOMEW: Instead of delivering the gold, they stole it.
• REGINA: How?
• BARTHOLOMEW By burying it then reporting that the Germans had captured it. All they had to do was come back after the war, dig it up, split it five ways. Quarter of a million dollars with no questions asked.
• REGINA: May I have a cigarette, please?
• SOUND: SOFT TEARING NOISE AS FILTER REMOVED FROM CIGARRETTE – LET IT FINISH
• BARTHOLOMEW: You tore the filter off?
• REGINA: I can’t stand those things; it’s like drinking coffee through a veil.
• SOUND: CIGARETTE LIGHTER – LET IT FINISH
• REGINA: (DRAWS IN AND BREATHES OUT)
• BARTHOLOMEW: Everything went smoothly enough until after the gold was buried. Then, before they could get out they were ambushed by a German patrol. A machine gun separated Scobie from his right hand, caught Carson Dyle full in the stomach.
• REGINA: May I have another cigarette?
• BARTHOLOMEW: What was wrong with that one?
• REGINA: Nothing, I guess. What happened then?
• BARTHOLOMEW: Have you any idea what these things cost over here?
• REGINA: Please go on, Mr. Bartholomew: what happened then?
• BARTHOLOMEW: Carson Dyle was dead but Scobie was able to travel, so… 
• WAITER: Pardon. La soupe, c’est pour qui?
• REGINA: (TO THE WAITER) Pour moi.
• SOUND: CLATTER OF CUTTLERY ETC. AS SOUP IS DELIVERED – LET IT FINISH.
• BARTHOLOMEW. Where was I?
• REGINA: Carson Dyle was dead.
• BARTHOLOMEW: Yes, Carson Dyle was dead. The others finally got back to the base and waited for the war to end, only Charles couldn’t wait quite as long as the others. He beat them back to the gold, took everything for himself, and disappeared. It’s taken Gideon, Tex and Scobie all this time to catch up with him again.
• REGINA: (DISTRESSED) But if they stole all that money, why can’t you arrest them?

In the second (actual) version of the script, the speech is broken up by interruptions of various kinds.  The interruptions turn it into a series of short speeches and make it easier to listen to (by giving the audience a rest from the exposition) and easier for an actor to speak.

Avoid a succession of loose sentences joined by conjunctions (childish speech)

Unless actually writing dialog for a child (and even then, it can feel exaggerated and unrealistic) avoid connecting clause after clause with conjunctions.

The following is flawed

• TIMMY: And Roger fell down the well and he was yelling and yelling but Mikey got scared and wanted to run away and the more scared Mikey got, the more scared the rest of us got too, and we could hear Roger splashing, trying to stay afloat but he was getting weaker so we ran to get help and I hope he’s not dead and can you please come to the well and get him out.

But the repetitive monotony of the following is worse still

• JAMES: Roger fell down the well and he was yelling for help.  Mikey got scared and the other children became frightened.  The children became more frightened while Roger grew tired of trying to stay afloat.  The children ran for help but many of them thought it might be too late.  The adults were asked to rescue Roger but the children thought Roger might be dead.

Express co-ordinate ideas in similar form (write according to the same pattern in the second idea as the first)

This is an easy error to make and quite difficult to catch.  Reading the text aloud often reveals the lack of symmetry.  Generally, we just feel that something isn’t quite right.

• BOB: In the past, science was taught by the textbook method, while now the laboratory method is used.

Rewritten so that the pattern of expression in the two clauses matches we get…

• BOB: In the past, science was taught by the textbook method, while now it is taught by the laboratory method.

Keep related words together

Rather than splitting the subject and principal verb of a clause, it is better to keep related words together.  Of course, this doesn’t apply when the writer is attempting to build suspense or a relative clause is being used.

Avoid

• JENNY: The iron, when mixed with an appropriate amount of carbon, makes steel.  For generations, in the manufacture of our swords, we’ve been employing this steel.

When you could say

• JENNY: The iron makes steel when mixed with an appropriate amount of carbon.  For generations we’ve been employing this steel in the manufacture of our swords.

Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end

We have noted that a speaker responds to the final word delivered in dialog by their conversation partner.  Likewise, we have noted that afterthoughts tend to weaken sentences.  For both these reasons, it is important when writing dialog to make the last word of every speech count.

• JENNY:  Our steel is principally used for making swords, because of its hardness.

The above line invites the next speaker to respond to the word hardness.  But it is more likely that our characters want to talk about swords and forces the conversation to pursue a different track before being brought back around to the point.  The presentation of “because of its hardness” as an afterthought also weakens the sentence.

Compare it to

• JENNY: Because of its hardness, our steel is principally used for making swords.

Let’s conclude our discussion of sentence style with three more pieces of advice about common issues.

Avoid connecting complete sentences with commas.

This is a surprisingly easy mistake to make.  The difference is subtle, but quite significant.

• BOB: Then came the jokes, some of them were very amusing, while some others failed to raise a laugh.

Bob’s speech contains two sentences.

Then came the jokes.

Some of them were very amusing, while some others failed to raise a laugh.

One way to fix the issue would be to simply correct the punctuation (adding the full stop/period between “jokes” and “some”).  Another option is a grammatical fix; turning the second sentence into a pair of dependent clauses…

• BOB: Then came the jokes, some very amusing, others failing to raise a laugh.

Watch out for ambiguous pronouns

Sometimes our writing is ambiguous because we have been unclear about what our pronouns refer to. 

Here is an ambiguous line.

• SALLY: Several members of my family have died of cancer and I didn’t know if it was hereditary so I decided to find out.

Does the pronoun “it” refer to “cancer” or “death”?  Obviously, cancer is more likely, but the sentence remains a little unclear.  The following expresses the idea more effectively by clarifying what the pronoun refers to.

• SALLY: I decided to find out if cancer was hereditary because several members of my family have died from it.

The rules are actually guidelines

Every one of these guidelines can be deliberately jettisoned for a variety of good reasons.  Dialog is often messy.  People don’t talk in neat grammatically correct forms.  Sometimes, effective characterization requires the imitation of grammatically incorrect forms of speech. That said, dialog is not a direct imitation of real life.  Rather, it is a stylised, more efficient, and focused form of expression, where every word is calculated for its contribution to the advancement of the story.  As such, with allowances made for the needs of characterisation, the writer of audio drama is still looking for the best way to communicate dialog.  And the rules of grammar, style and expression, when applied well, provide just the tools and clarity we need.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Basic Grammar for Audio Writers Part 4 – Style and Sentence Construction appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

This week we turn our attention to the practical use of punctuation and how understanding it can help improve our writing. 

Punctuation isn’t grammar.  But it does govern how we express grammar and, if we are audio dramatists, how a line and its meaning is communicated to an actor.  It is the writer’s responsibility to communicate effectively and, though typos WILL happen, a thorough understanding of punctuation goes a long way to ensuring our intended meaning makes it to the page.  As such I thought it would be a good idea to interrupt this series for a quick look at the rules of punctuation.

Before we start, though.  Let’s take a quick, and amusing, look at what a difference punctuation can make.

• “Let’s eat grandma!” vs. “Let’s eat, grandma!”
• “Eat your dinner” vs. “Eat.  You’re dinner!”
• “Twenty five-dollar bills” vs. “Twenty-five dollar bills”
• “I want to thank my parents, Tiffany and God” vs. “I want to thank my parents, Tiffany, and God”
• “I’m sorry I love you” vs. “I’m sorry; I love you.”
• “Man eating chicken” vs. “Man-eating chicken”
• “I find inspiration in cooking my family and my dog” vs. “I find inspiration in cooking, my family, and my dog”
• “A woman without her man is nothing” vs. “A woman: without her, man is nothing”

Most written expression can be managed with a full stop/period and a comma.  Dialog is no exception and can be expressed adequately, even well, with these two tools alone.  But to limit ourselves to these two forms of punctuation is to limit the range of expression we can engage in.  It’s like building a house with only a hammer and a saw.  It can be done, but not very well.

THE PURPOSE OF PUNCTUATION

Punctuation guides how a line is delivered.  It seeks to make up for the fact that, on paper, language lacks expression (the gestures and tones of voice we use when speaking face-to-face).

Take the following lines…

• MORT: I heard about the accident, old man, and I hope you’re feeling better.  Will it cost much to repair the car?”.  When spoken aloud, the parenthetical “old man” is expressed by dropping the voice slightly.  The full stop/period indicates a drop in the voice at the end of a thought.  The question mark indicates a query that, vocally, is expressed by a slight rise in the voice.

Further, look at the following lines…

• ALVIN: And then Jack said, “if you’d only followed my instructions in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this mess”.  Sheesh!  He never could resist saying “I told you so!”.

When quoting someone in conversation we change our tone of voice when we want to communicate that we are expressing someone else’s words. Quotation marks indicate this on paper.  Exclamation points indicate in writing that a strong emotion is being expressed.  In speech strong emotions are expressed with a change of pitch and an increase in volume.

THE MARKS

There are only fourteen punctuation marks in English (that can be grouped in five broad categories) and they are surprisingly easy to learn (if harder to master).

The marks (in their categories) are as follows.

• Sentence endings: period, question mark, exclamation point
• Comma, colon, and semicolon
• Dash and hyphen
• Brackets, braces, and parentheses
• Apostrophe, quotation marks, and ellipsis

SENTENCE ENDINGS

Full Stop/Period (.)

This one is probably the most straightforward. Also referred to as a full stop, the period denotes the end of a sentence. A full sentence is considered as one that contains a complete thought and is made up of a subject and a predicate.

• WALTER: The dog ran under the fence.

It is also used in abbreviations, such as are used in names, titles, and organizational acronyms.

• ANDREW: Call Dr. Smith.  He’s having a heart attack! 

Of less relevance to the audio writer, periods are sometimes used to separate numbers in a date.

• 1. 22. 1969

Question Mark (?)

A question mark also ends a sentence, however it is concerned with ending a sentence that is a direct question. Typically, sentences that are questions begin with what, how, when, where, why, or who.

• WALTER: How did the dog get under the fence?
• ANDREW: Where’s the doctor? 

A question mark also denotes a shift in tone in a sentence when read out loud.  This tonal shift can be useful in keeping text from getting boring.

Exclamation Point (!)

The exclamation point or exclamation mark is also used at the end of a sentence to express an intense emotion. They add emphasis to the sentence, but can easily be overused.  Limit the number of exclamation points used in your plays.  The emotion expressed can be varied; excitement, disgust, anger, joy, etc. 

• WALTER: Look out!  He bites.
• ANDREW: Doctor!  Over here.

COMMA, COLON, AND SEMI-COLON

Comma ( , )

Commas separate information into readable units.

A single comma can indicate that someone is being addressed.

• BILL: Jim, how are you doing?

It can also separates one clause from another.

• WALTER: When he started digging in the yard, I didn’t expect he would tunnel his way out.
• ANDREW: To dial emergency isn’t enough, you have to try and stop the bleeding.

A pair of commas can set off an aside (or parenthetical statement) from the main idea.

• WALTER: That dog, mangy though he is, remains the most loyal creature I ever met.
• ANDREW: You’re saying that, to stop the bleeding, I should apply pressure to the wound?

A set of commas can indicate a list.

• WALTER: The dog’s tags list his name, date of birth, my address and telephone number.
• ANDREW: The insurance company wants to know his medical client number, coverage type, date of last payment, and most recent bank balance.

Colon (:)

A colon has three main uses. The first is to introduce something, such as a quote, example, explanation, or series.

• WALTER: There are four kinds of dog; pure-bred, mutt, inside, or outside.

A colon can also be used to link two independent clauses if the second clause clarifies or completes the first one. For example:

• ANDREW: We’ve got to hurry: he’ll die if we don’t.

Finally, a colon can also emphasize a subject in a sentence:

• WALTER: I only hate one kind of human being: the kind that hurts dogs.

Semicolon (;)

Where the colon can be used to expand upon an idea, the semi-colon can be used to link two ideas (two sentences) together.  A full stop/period could be used in its place but the semi-colon tells us the sentences are connected in some way.

• WALTER: To err is human; to own a dog is divine.

A less common use for semicolons is within a list that uses commas.

• ANDREW: That doctor’s studied all around the world.  He’s studied in London, England; Paris, France; Rome, Italy; and Athens, Greece.

DASH AND HYPHEN

Dash (-)

There are two types of dash.

En dash: The en dash is shorter and used to denote a range, such as between numbers or dates.  It is rarely used in a script since script writers aim to make the delivery of the lines explicit.

Instead of “My first dog lived from 1990-2000” or “The doctor travelled via the New York-Chicago train” we would write “My first dog lived from nineteen ninety to two thousand” or “The doctor travelled via the New York to Chicago train”

• The company was operational from 1990-2000.
• He took the Chicago-New York train last night.

Em dash: The em dash is longer, and is sometimes used instead of other punctuation marks, like commas, colons, or parentheses. Here’s an example:

• WALTER: Take my dog – he’s the big one on the left – and put him in the house.
• ANDREW: Is this doctor any good? – Yes!

Hyphen (-)

Not to be confused with a dash, the hyphen is used in compound words to connect the two parts.

• BOB: She’s my mother-in-law.
• HETTY: He’s my ex-boyfriend.

The hyphen is also used to link words that are not usually associated with one another into a single idea.

• MAX: They’ve scheduled another Information-audit.

The hyphen also links a pair of words that function as an adjective before a noun.

• BRIAN: Australia is now a post-industrial economy, which is a kind way of saying we import everything and produce nothing ourselves.

BRACKETS, BRACES, AND PARENTHESES

Parenthesis (())

In standard English, parentheses are used to elaborate upon or make a digression from the sentence in which they appear. 

• MAX: Michelle (who works at the local gas station) gave me directions to the hotel.

Commas are generally interchangeable with parentheses.

In audio drama parentheses are used to provide directions to the actor (LOUDLY), (AT A DISTANCE), (BEAT) and guides to pronunciation (KART-A-HAY-NYA) for Cartagena.  Such directions are provided in all-caps to indicate they should not be pronounced out loud.  Because of this it is best to avoid parenthesis and use commas or dashes where possible (though parenthesis remain an allowable element in scripts).  Square brackets also have a specific use in audio drama.

Braces ({})

Braces are similar to parenthesis but are rarely used.  They allow the writer to make a list within a list.

• MAX:  I went home to pack my bags {clothes, toiletries, and books}, switched off the electricals, and locked my doors and windows.

They can also be used in the representation of mathematical computations.

Brackets ([])

Generally, brackets are used to clarify something, provide explanations of technical terms, and provide parenthetical comments within quotations.

• MAX: As Sun Tzu once said “The supreme art of war [in all its forms] is to subdue the enemy without fighting”.
• GEORGE: The C.I.A [Central Intelligence Agency] is a sort of club house for spies.
• ANGIE: The carburettor [a device that mixes air and fuel for combustion] is filthy.  It needs to be cleaned.

In audio drama, square brackets are also best avoided as they are generally reserved for numbering sound effects [1], [2], [3], and identifying sections of the script that should be cued by the director [CUE].

APOSTROPHE, QUOTATION MARKS, AND ELLIPSES

Apostrophe (‘)

The apostrophe is used to mark possession (singular and plural).

• MAX: It’s George’s fishing rod.  The basket belongs to the Georges.
• JIM: It’s the Georges’ basket?

It is also used to indicate contractions (words from which letters have been omitted).

• MAX: I can’t figure out why you’re here, Jim.  It’s been frustrating me. Won’t you explain?

It can also be useful when writing dialog that involves dropped h’s and g’s.

• ELIZA: ‘ow do you know that ain’t exactly what I been sayin’ all along?

The apostrophe can also be used to indicate quotation marks within quotation marks.

• SAUL: He told me that “Gerald said ‘any fool can do it if he tries'”.

Quotation Marks (“”)

Quotation Marks are used to indicate (and enclose) words spoken by someone else.

If it appears in a novel, dialog is usually placed inside quotation marks.  This is not necessary in an audio script, except where a speaker is quoting another individual.

• JENNY: George told me that “Walter is a liar.  He’s never owned a dog in his life.” Would you believe that?

Generally, commas and full-stops/periods are placed inside the quotation marks, while colons, semi-colons and dashes are placed outside.

Ellipses (…)

An Ellipsis marks the omission of a word or words. If the omission includes the end of a sentence the glyph has four dots (….) instead of three.

• SERGIO: I’m gonna count backwards from ten.  If you ain’t told me what I want to know by the time I’m done, well….
• TOOTS: Sergio’s gonna leave what comes next up to your imagination.
• SERGIO: Ten, Nine, Eight….
• MAX: Alright, alright.  I’ll talk.

It’s not rocket science, but mastering punctuation and basic grammar helps us to communicate our thoughts on the page far more effectively than we might otherwise have been able to.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Basic Punctuation for Audio Writers appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

This week we turn our attention to the practical use of grammar and how understanding it can help improve our writing. 

Sentence Types

Declarative – Makes a statement about something.

Interrogatory – Asks a question.

Imperative – Provides an instruction.

Exclamatory – Makes an exclamation.

The following exchange contains each of these.  But in any dialog the majority of your sentences will be declarative.

• SERVANT: Ma’am?
• MADAME NORISS: (STARTLED) Oh!  You quite frightened me, Sally. 
• SERVANT: Sorry, Ma’am.  I need to be in town in an hour.  Is there anything you need?
• MADAME NORISS: Bring me a cup of tea.
• SERVANT: Yes, Ma’am

Sentences

As has already been stated in an earlier article, sentences are made up of a subject and a predicate and express a complete idea.  Phrases and clauses are not sentences.

Using Phrases and Clauses

“Down the street” is a phrase.  There is no subject acting, nor is there a verb that turns it into a complete predicate.

“while climbing on the roof” is a clause.  It depends on something prior in order to complete the idea it is trying to express.

Likewise, “he sat down for a moment before” is a clause.  There is a subject “he” and a complete predicate with a verb “sat down for a moment”, but the idea is left incomplete (as indicated by the connecting word “before”.

Does this mean we should only write in complete sentences?  No.  We can make use of phrases and stand-alone clauses in our writing, but we need to do so carefully.

If a character overhears a conversation, it is quite legitimate to present a phrase.

• SOUND:  JIM ENTERS THE KITCHEN
• JENNY:   (HURRIEDLY) …need to talk to you later.  Bye.
• SOUND: PHONE HANGS UP
• JIM: Who was that?
• JENNY: (EMBARRASSED) Oh, nobody.

In the dialog above, the phrase creates mystery BECAUSE it is not a complete sentence.

A broken radio transmission can do something similar…

• SOUND: INTERMITTENT BURSTS OF STATIC AT THE GAPS IN THE SPEECH THAT FOLLOWS
• RADIO OPERATOR:  Mayday.  Mayday.  The expedition is… (STATIC).  We’ve lost all our…(STATIC) … are dead and only (STATIC) remain alive.   (STATIC) …are being hunted.  (STATIC) …help urgently.  Mayday.

Generally, unless we deliberately wish to create confusion, clauses and phrases are used in a way that implies a complete sentence.

• BOB:    Where’d Jenny go?
• DON:   Down the street.

Don’s answer is a prepositional phrase, but the complete sentence “Jenny went down the street” is implied.

At other times the sentence has been interrupted (but the full sentence and idea remains intact).

• DON:   We’ve still got a little bit of time before…
• SOUND: GUNSHOT AND BREAKING WINDOW.
• BOB: Get down. Damn, that was close.  What were you saying? Time before…?
• DON:   (IRONIC LAUGH) Heh…before the shooting starts.

Despite the interruption (of the bullet) the full sentence “we’ve still got a little time before the shooting starts” remains.

There are also times where we will use a phrase or clause to imply that the character has completed a thought (a complete sentence), even though we do not find out what the sentence is.

• BOB: If Salvadore killed Ruby then that means he…
• DON: Bob?  You just kind of trailed off there, you know?
• BOB: Yeah, but I think I just blew this case wide open.  C’mon, let’s get down to Police Plaza.

Implied sentences can be of any length.

• GRANT: It’s stuffy.  I’m going to open a window.
• JACKIE: No!

Jackie’s one word, “No!” implies the much lengthier “You must not open the window”.

Here, presented by Elmer, is a two-word sentence.

• GEORGE:         What was that noise?
• ELMER:            Sally coughed.

Elmer’s sentence implies nothing – it doesn’t need to – and meets all the requirements of a sentence.  The subject is Sally, the predicate is coughed, and it contains a complete idea.

Sometimes. if our dialog feels confused or confusing, it’s because our phrases do not effectively imply or present complete sentences.  It can be worth going over our writing and, in our heads if not on paper, translating our phrases into full sentences just to be sure our meaning is clear.

Controlling Sentence Length

By controlling sentence length, we control pace and, to an extent, emotion in our writing.  It is good advice to keep dialog short and avoid employing any unnecessary words.  But, if dialog is cut too much, it can lose its meaning and power.  The decision regarding when a word is “unnecessary” is a judgment we make based on the context of our text and our intention in writing it.

Gary Provost wrote the following paragraph to illustrate this point…

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

Realism in dialog

There is a tension that every writer of dialog feels.  Dialog needs to sound as if it were being spoken by real people without accurately reproducing the way real people speak.

The apparent contradiction here is explained by listening to any real-world conversation.  In real life people repeat themselves incessantly, ramble, lose their train of thought, find it again, mis-speak, correct themselves, forget what they were trying to say, etc.  Real-world conversation is inefficient.  If we reproduce it for audio drama, our listeners will quickly become bored and switch their attention elsewhere.  Speech designed for entertainment needs to authentically express character but in a form crafted to maintain attention without drawing attention to itself.

A rambling sentence…

JIM: You know, he… well the curb.  He was hit by a car as he stepped off it.  Paying no attention to the traffic, just dreaming.  And it hit him… while he wasn’t paying attention.

It seems realistic – the stumbling words, the repetition, etc.  We all know people who talk like this in real-life.  But it is horribly inefficient.

The following is an equally inefficient sentence…

• JIM: He was struck by a car as he stepped off the curb, heedless of the traffic.

This sentence lacks the sense of character of the first and trails off with an afterthought that weakens it.

This sentence is more efficient and impactful…

• JIM: He stepped off the curb and was hit by a car.

In the mouth of a hesitant character it might sound something like this…

• JIM: He…  well, he stepped off the curb.  (BEAT) And he was hit.

The shorter, punchier sentence is always to be preferred over longer rambling sentences (even where the characterisation calls for a little bit of ramble).

The two most important parts of a sentence of dialog are the beginning and the end.  In a sense, we do well to think about sentences in terms of setup and payoff.  When we emphasise the beginning of the sentence we emphasise the setup and elaborate upon it as payoff.

• JIM:     George is acting crazy; he’s been muttering about spies all morning and now he’s talking to the water cooler!

In the above sentence we know what or to whom the sentence refers; George.  Everything else is elaboration.

When we emphasise the end of a sentence we raise a question in the setup and pay it off by answering it at the end (creating a kind of micro-suspense).

• JIM:     He’s been muttering about spies all morning and now he’s talking to the water cooler.  This insane behaviour just isn’t like George.

At times it pays to place the emphasis in the middle of the sentence, creating suspense and then providing an elaboration.

• JIM:  He’s acting crazy, so unlike George; talking to the water cooler and muttering about spies.

Interestingly, the majority of sentences in published plays and screenplays (50%) emphasize the end of the sentence.  While the remaining 50% are made up of sentences that place the emphasis at the beginning or middle of the sentence.  This shouldn’t come as a surprise, though.  In dialog, the end of the sentence provides the impetus for the reaction provided by the next character’s line.

The Importance of the last word

Dialog (like acting) is more often about reaction than not.  Each spoken line is an action that results in a reaction from another participant in the conversation.  As such it is important NOT to bury the point that will illicit the next line of dialog either at the beginning or somewhere in the middle of a sentence.  In dialog (as in life) speakers react to the last word spoken.

• JENNY: You think she killed all of them and then turned the gun on herself?
• KATHY: No.  I think we’re supposed to think that’s what she did.  This was done by someone else.
• JENNY: But who would set up a scene like this?  In such a public space?  Surely, they wouldn’t have time.
• KATHY:  Our perpetrator thrives on pressure.  The limited time would have given the situation extra excitement.
• JENNY:  If that’s the case, then the killer enjoys this kind of thing… and it’s probably not the first time.
• KATHY: Yep.  We’re dealing with a serial killer.

Grammar and Weak Sentences

Attention grabbing sentences are strong.  Beware of sentences that end weakly.  It’s easy to spot a weak sentence if it comes with a little addition after the main point has been made.

• New South Wales is better than Victoria in my opinion.
• In most states, a driver’s license is not granted to a person under the age of eighteen unless there are special circumstances, in which case a license may be granted.

Both of these sentences continue adding words after the point has been made.  Sentences are always stronger when they finish more emphatically.

• In my opinion New South Wales is better than Victoria.
• In most states, people under eighteen can’t get a driver’s license.

Another way that sentences are made weak is through use of the passive rather than active voice.  The passive voice places the emphasis on the thing being acted upon rather than the thing that is acting.

• The cricket ball was hit by the batsman.
• The picnic was enjoyed by the whole family.

It is much stronger and attention grabbing to say…

• The batsman hit the cricket ball.
• The whole family enjoyed the picnic.

Passive voice can be useful if we want to make a character sound pompous and unnatural, but the active voice is always to be preferred in dialog.

Compare

• JIM: I was taken by the soldiers to the prison.

With

• JIM: The soldiers took me to the prison.

Dialog is always improved where we rewrite instances of passive expression in the active voice.

Grammar and Ambiguous Sentences

Ambiguous sentences can be unintentionally funny when they aren’t downright misleading.  Many of these mistakes stem from problems with the placement of verbs.

• SAM : Walking down Main Street, the general store glittered with fresh fallen rain.

Oops.  Did Sam really mean to suggest the general store was taking a walk? Probably not.

• JENNY: Last night I saw my boyfriend in a new dress.

Was the boyfriend wearing a new dress?  Unlikely.

• BAXTER: I can recommend Simon as an excellent employee without any qualification.

Does Baxter mean that Simon is thoroughly unqualified?  Again, no.

We know what the intended meaning is, but the audience can’t help but be forgiven for finding the actual expression amusing.  The problem lies in the placement of the references (the way the verbs are associated with the nouns).  Dangling present participles (-ing words at the beginning of a sentence) often create ambiguous sentences because they do not reference (are not related directly to) an appropriate noun.

• SAM: As I walk down Main Street, the general store glitters with fresh fallen rain.

The walk is now associated with Sam through the pronoun “I” and the general store is left to “glitter with fresh fallen rain” as intended.

• JENNY: I wore a new dress when I saw my boyfriend last night.

The wearing of the dress is now associated with Jenny (through the pronoun “I”) rather than the boyfriend.

• BAXTER: I can sincerely recommend Simon as an excellent employee.

In this case we could have associated “without qualification” with Baxter but even that is freighted with unintended humor (since it suggests Baxter has no qualification to comment).  Eliminating the phrase entirely is the best option here.

These problems are only fixed where every action is associated with a noun identifying the actor.

Sometimes a sentence has the right number of nouns and associated verbs but the order in which they are expressed confuses the sentence meaning.

• MICHAEL: Rain moved the graduation exercises indoors which fell steadily all morning.

Did the indoors fall?  No.

Compare it with

• MICHAEL: The rain fell steadily all morning and the graduation exercises were moved indoors.

And

• MICHAEL: The graduation exercises were moved indoors because the rain fell steadily all morning.

Keeping the correct verb as close as possible to the noun responsible for the action fixes a great many issues with dialog.  

The placement of verbs is not the only contributor to ambiguity in sentences.  Occasionally, adjectives are the culprit.

• JASMINE: Sarah came down the stairs with a new hat on her head, all black velvet.

This time we are dealing with adjectives rather than verbs.  Was Sarah’s head made of black velvet?  No.  We fix this sentence by associating the adjectives with the hat, leaving Sarah to come down the stairs without confusion.

• JASMINE: Sarah came down the stairs wearing a black velvet hat.

Next

We have looked at sentences and how to use an understanding of grammar to improve them.  Next time we’ll examine word choices and some of the rules of dialog.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Basic Grammar for Audio Writers Part 3 – Constructing Sentences appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

This continues my series on the basics of grammar for audio writers.

We looked, in the last essay, at the traditional parts of speech and some ways that understanding them helps us to diagnose problems in our scripts.  This week we are looking at some other ways to think about and classify words.

Simple, compound and complex words

Simple words

Simple words cannot be broken down into component parts.  They tend to be short, like ball, mouse, soft, build, etc.  They can also be long like kangaroo, elevator, and alabaster.

Compound words

Compound words are made up of two or more simple words.  Some are written as a single word (like railway, airport, and daylight).  Others are hyphenated (such as make-believe, or push-button).  Others still are written as two words (such as town hall, post office, and high school).

Complex words

Complex words consist of a main part and one or more subordinate parts.  The subordinate parts are called prefixes if they come before the main part and suffixes if they come after the main part.

Consider the word transformation.  Its main part is “form” and it has two subordinate parts, a prefix “trans-” and a suffix “-ation”.

Complex words are best avoided where possible.  They can make writing unintentionally pompous (especially those words ending in -ation, -osity, -ousness, -ance, -bility, etc.).  Of course, if you are writing a pompous character, then they will be exactly the right choice.

Modifiers

A modifier is a word (or group of words) which expands, restricts, limits, or defines another word (making the meaning more exact).

As we saw in my last article, adjectives modify nouns.  To describe last Tuesday as a cold, raw day, is to give the audience a stronger sense of what kind of day it was.  The adjectives “raw” and “cold” expand and fine-tune the meaning expressed by the word “day”.

Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives or other adverbs.

• JOSEPH: She cooks miserably.
• MARY: (INSULTED, COMING TO HER DEFENSE) I think she’s very clever.
• JOSEPH: I didn’t say she was stupid.  I just meant she doesn’t cook very well.

In the first line the adverb “miserably” modifies the verb “cooks”.

In the second, the adverb “very” modifies the adjective “clever”.

In the third line we can see a third use, where the adverb “very” modifies another adverb “well”.

As noted in the article previous to this, it is usually better to make use of strong, active verbs, and specific nouns than to employ adverbs and adjectives where possible.

Clauses

Clauses, phrases and sentences (and how to get the most out of them in dialog) is the subject of a future article, so I will restrict myself to providing some working definitions here.

A sentence, at a minimum, has a subject (something the sentence is about) and a predicate (the part of the sentence containing a verb and telling us something about the subject) and forms a complete thought.  It may or may not include an object (the thing that the verb is acting upon).

A sentence, at its simplest, might be “He sits”, complete, in and of itself.  The subject is “he” and the predicate is “sits”.

A simple sentence with an object contained in the predicate might be “He hit the ball”.  The subject is “he”.  The predicate is “hit the ball” and contains the verb “hit” and the object (being affected by the verb) “the ball”.

Clauses differ from sentences in that they are not complete thoughts.  Look at the following example…

• “after the train stopped at the station.

It has a subject “the train” and a predicate “stopped at the station”, but it is not a complete thought.  Something is missing.  To complete the thought we could add some words at the beginning and it would become complete sentence.

• “She bought some cigarettes after the train stopped at the station.”

A clause may contain all the elements of a sentence but is dependent on another part of the sentence to make complete sense.  While it could stand alone, the presence of a preceding word connecting it to another part of the sentence helps us identity it as a clause. Words such as “although, because, since, while, after, where, when, which, who, that, if, whenever, wherever, why, or, else, whether, yet, and but” are among the most common.

Phrases

Phrases are groups of related words without subject and predicate.  In the same way that a clause can be part of a sentence, a phrase can be part of a clause or sentence.

An example of a phrase might be “under the bed”.  It has neither a subject, nor a predicate, and it is definitely not a complete idea.

The most common type of phrase is the prepositional phrase.  A prepositional phrase is introduced by a preposition such as to, in, for, after, above, below, beside, by, except, from, at, among, into, like, near, on, over, through, toward, under, upon, with, without, etc.

We shouldn’t be afraid of phrases in dialog.  We use them frequently in everyday speech.  As such they are sometimes the best choice.

• MAX:   Where did you put my scarf?
• BOB:    On the table.
• MAX:   Oh, right.  Thanks.

Simple, compound, and complex sentences

Like a word, a sentence can be simple, compound, or complex.

A simple sentence cannot be broken down into clauses.

• MAX: The shareholder’s report is due on Friday.

A compound sentence consists of two or more clauses that can stand by themselves.  They are tied together by a conjunction (such as and, or, or but).

• BOB: The shareholder’s report is complete, but I should append my sources to it.

A complex sentence has a main sentence (or independent clause) that can stand alone, plus one or more dependent clauses that rely on the main clause to give them meaning.

• MAX:   Give me the report, before I’m forced to hurt you out of impatience and frustration.

A complex sentence usually expresses a complex idea.  As a result, it is often more difficult to read and understand than the others.  They have their place, but where the writing feels confusing or difficult to understand, it can be helpful to look for the presence of complex sentences and break them down into simple and compound sentences.

Back to the Verbs – Verb forms

As the most powerful element in communication, it should come as no surprise, that verbs can also be among the most complex.

Verbs come in a variety of forms.

Infinitive

The simplest form of the verb is the infinitive.  It consists of the preposition to, followed by the stem of the verb.

• To strive
• To seek
• To find

It is often suggested that you should never split an infinitive by placing a word between the preposition and the verb stem e.g. “to boldly go”.  Personally, I think that’s nonsense and blame this belief on Samuel Johnson who, unlike those who codified the grammar of most of the worlds written languages, chose to do so without consultation with other scholars and prioritized the sentence structures of French and Latin over those of common English speech.

Split your infinitives if you so desire.  And if anyone complains, tell them an Australian English teacher gave you permission.  Just be aware that, if you do split your infinitive, you are likely to do so with an adverb (and adverbs can, potentially, weaken your point).

Tense

Tense is the form of a verb telling us when the action takes place – present, past, future.

Where the basic verb is “to see”, the present tense is “I see”, the past tense is “I saw” and the future tense is “I shall/will see”.  It is the basic way a writer directs a reader, backward, forward or toward the present moment.

Generally when writing for audio drama we want our lines to be as immediate as possible.  The preference, therefore, even when dealing with a reminiscence, is to aim to use the present tense.

• TIM: (TO THE ASSEMBLED POLICE) I headed for Joe’s place next.  (BEAT) So, I’m injured.  Badly limping up to his front gate.  Just as I swing it open, I hear a snuffling noise and the largest dog I’ve ever seen leaps at me baring its teeth and scaring what little life remains out of me.

Participle

English verbs have two participles.  The present participle is easy and ends in -ing.

• Singing, shooting, fighting, slicing, etc.

The past participle is a little more complex and usually ends in -ed, -d, -t, -en or -n.

• Danced, heard, kept, written, seen.

Principal parts

In verbs, the principal parts are those basic forms of the verb from which the others are, most frequently, derived; the present tense, the past tense, and the past participle.

One way to identify the correct form of these principal parts is to form a sentence with the verb beginning “I…”, “Yesterday I…”, and “I have just…”.

• I see.  I kill.  I bake.  I walk. (present)
• Yesterday I saw.  Yesterday I killed.  Yesterday I baked.  Yesterday I walked. (past)
• I have just seen.  I have just killed.  I have just baked.  I have just walked. (past participle)

Past and past participle verbs are formed, typically by adding -ed, -d, -t, -en, or -n (as above), but there are numerous irregular verbs as well (drove, went, swam, swum) and these can be quite a challenge to get right.

When writing dialog an understanding of the principal parts can be quite useful.  Educated characters and characters from an upper-class background have usually mastered the irregular verbs and would rarely, if ever, make a mistake using them.

Less well-educated characters, or those who were not raised with English as their primary language, or those raised in a more working-class environment, are prone to add the wrong endings to words.

• JACK: (LOFTILY TO THE CROWD) I have just swum the English Channel for the third time.
• BILL: (HECKLING) Is that right, mate?  Well, I swimmed it meself, once.  Not the whole of it, ‘course, but enough to not be terrible impressed by the likes o’ you.

Even to the native-born, it can be difficult to navigate the irregular verbs in English.  Keeping a

Dictionary handy for the tricky ones is well worth the effort.

Word Order

Word order has a huge effect on the meaning of sentences.  As we close this article, take a moment to read each of the following eight sentences.  By moving one word to a new position each time, the meaning of the sentence is drastically altered.

When you discover a sentence that is unclear, ambiguous, or doesn’t quite capture your meaning, it is worthwhile to go back and check if a rearrangement of the word order doesn’t salvage it.  Sometimes a rewrite is required, of course, but some care with word order can save a great deal of time.

• Only the police officer ordered me to take the weapon.
• The only police officer ordered me to take the weapon.
• The police officer only ordered me to take the weapon.
• The police officer ordered only me to take the weapon.
• The police officer ordered me only to take the weapon.
• The police officer ordered me to only take the weapon.
• The police officer ordered me to take only the weapon.
• The police officer ordered me to take the only weapon.

Next

Now that the basic definitions are in place we can begin to discuss the construction of sentences, in particular sentences that form dialog.  That’s where we’ll pick up next time and we’ll look at how to use sentences (and their grammar) to achieve particular effects in a script.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Basic Grammar for Audio Writers Part 2 – More Definitions appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

A while back I was looking at Aristotle’s poetics and thinking about how they applied to audio drama writing.  I worked my way through the first 19 chapters and then came to a grinding halt.  The 20^th chapter was about grammar – specifically ancient Greek grammar.  Besides being irrelevant (since its discussion concerned a language I have no interest in), the chapter basically stole my enthusiasm for continuing with the exploration.  But the more I’ve thought about it, the more a short exploration of grammar has come to recommend itself to me.

You see, I never learned grammar at school.  I just happen, like every Australian my age, to have been at school during the years when grammar was dropped from the curriculum in Australia.

This essay is for those, who like me were either taught English during the years that grammar was dropped from the curriculum or who may never have been taught it. 

You can still write (and well) without a formal understanding of grammar, of course.  Particularly if you have a good ear for the way people speak in real life (and you understand the rules of punctuation).  But grammar is useful, among other things, for understanding how to repair sentences that have broken down and need to be “fixed”.

I came to grammar late.  I wasn’t taught it at school, and I always felt at a disadvantage because of it.  It wasn’t until I began studying other languages at university (German, Japanese, Hebrew, and Greek – none of which I am any good at) that I actually had a chance to learn grammar and discover its usefulness.

I promise that I will unpack the relevance of this for improving audio scriptwriting before we’re through, but to start with, I want to examine the basics.

THE PARTS OF SPEECH

For many of my vintage, grammar is an unknown country.  A scary place full of esoteric labels and rules and cultural practices that we easily fall afoul of.  And like visiting another country, grammar takes years of immersion to really understand (multiple volumes have been filled with the detail of English grammar).  However, the basics aren’t that difficult. 

To change the metaphor, understanding grammar is a little like learning to drive a car.  You don’t need to be an expert in the combustion engine, and torque, and the way the parts must be tuned, in order to drive a car.  There exists a bare minimum that you must know (and a great deal more that you could know) but the minimum will suffice to make driving possible.

To drive, you need to know three things.

1. The car’s controls (brake, accelerator, gear-shift, steering wheel, lights, indicators, mirrors, wipers, ignition, etc.)
2. The purpose and operation of those controls (speed up, turn, slow-down and stop, etc.)
3. The rules and techniques of driving (right of way, traffic signals, speed limits, how to drive in a straight line, turn, parallel park, etc.).

The minimum understanding of grammar needed by the writer isn’t that different.

1. The basic parts of speech
2. What the parts of speech accomplish
3. That rules govern their use.

So, this is my primer on English grammar, for those, who like me, might find such a thing useful.

Let’s begin with the parts of speech, namely: verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs, pronouns, prepositions, conjunctions and interjections.

Verbs

Verbs are action words. They reveal what someone or something did (active verbs).  What was done to someone or something (passive verbs).  They also reveal its tense; when something happened (in the past, present, future, or if it is occurring right now).

• John hit (active, in the past) vs John was hit (passive, in the past)
• John hits (active, in the present) vs John is hit (passive, in the present)
• John will hit (active, in the future) vs John will be hit (passive, in the future)
• John is hitting (right now) vs John is being hit (passive, right now)

Good verbs (vivid and striking) bring writing to life (particularly if they are active – verbs are always stronger and more arresting when they are active).

• Billy slugged Bobby.
• The tires squealed to a stop.
• The wind warbled through the trees.
• The surf tore at the breakwater.

Nouns

Nouns are the names of people, places, or things (including ideas, qualities, or actions).

There are two types:

Proper nouns (names, always capitalized, that denote particular instances rather than groups) such as Daniel, Melbourne, Apollo Bay, Jane Eyre.

Common nouns (all other nouns, without capital letters, that denote groups or categories) such as man, woman, donkey, city, water, book.

Adjectives

Adjectives describe nouns.  They are the primary way we add meaning to (or modify the meaning of) nouns.  By adding an adjective we expand our understanding of the noun in some way.

• An outrageous man.
• An antique motor car.
• A cruel child.

Sometimes nouns are used as adjectives.

• A woman driver.
• Christmas decorations.
• Bedroom furniture.

Adverbs

Like adjectives expand our understanding of nouns, adverbs tell us something about verbs (indicating why, how, where or when the action takes place).  Without adjectives, actions are very general and vague.

• He stood.
• She sang.
• The car ran.

Add an adverb and the phrase becomes far more specific, and easier to visualize.

• He stood impatiently.
• She sang badly.
• The car ran poorly.

Most adverbs are formed by adding -ly to an adjective.  But some are formed differently; how, where, when and very, today, here, often, then, somewhere, nowhere and never.

Simple adverbs can be used to begin a sentence (referring back to what came previously)

• He watched television.  Then we just talked.
• The movie was awful.  Never have I  see worse.

Pronouns

A pronoun takes the place of a name, usually the name of something or someone recently mentioned (for example, he, she, and it).  The pronoun eliminates awkward repetition of the noun.

• When Martha came to work at the old brownstone, she changed many things.
• When Martha came to work at the old brownstone, it was badly in need of renovation.
• When Martha first came to work for Jim as his housekeeper, he seemed afraid of her.  He would lock himself in his study until she had completed her duties.

Martha is referred to by the pronoun she;  Jim, by the pronoun he; and the old brownstone by the pronoun, it.

There are many kinds of pronouns, but the most common are personal, relative, and indefinite pronouns.

Personal pronouns are specific and include I, me, we, us, he, him, she, her, you, it, they, them.

Relative pronouns tie sentence parts together and include who, which, whom, that, whose, of which, etc.

Indefinite pronouns are more general and include anybody, everybody, one, any, everyone, other, all everything, several, few, etc.

Prepositions

Prepositions connect the thing that is acting in the sentence (the thing to which the verb belongs – also known as the subject of the sentence) to other words in the sentence (including the object – the thing that is acted upon). 

Ten propositions account for 95 percent of all those used in writing.  These key prepositions are with, from, to, for, on, by, of, at, in, and like.

A prepositional phrase includes the preposition, the noun, and any added obejcts.

• “on the table”.
• “at the side of the road”
• “by the stream”

Conjunctions

Words that connect other words, phrases, and sentences are called conjunctions.  These include and, but, for, although, as, since, because, when, and while.

An example of conjunctions connecting words can be found in H.M.S. Pinafore…

• There stood his sisters and his cousins and his aunts.

An example of phrases being connected would include…

• He hated her with a passion, but he was drawn to her despite, or perhaps because, of that hatred.

While taught as bad grammar by many (if not most teachers), it is not unheard of, in dialog, for sentences to sometimes begin with a conjunction (joining them to a previous, but interrupted, idea or connecting an afterthought to what has gone before).

• But I didn’t do it.  I never left the house.  And I’d know, wouldn’t I?

Interjections

These are words or syllables that stand-alone, unconnected (grammatically) to those around them.  Examples include: Ah! Oh! Well! Eh?  Huh?  Phooey!  Etc.

Using the parts of speech to diagnose problems with dialog

People do not use perfect grammar in their day-to-day speech.  For this reason, alone we could be forgiven for wondering what relevance grammar has to the writing of dialog.  Hopefully, this will whet your appetite to stay with me in these essays.  Before I go, I want to leave you with two tips regarding issues that an understanding of the parts of speech can help the script-writer with. 

Have you ever felt that your dialog has come off a little weak, but you can’t quite put your finger on the problem?  While I want to wrap this particular essay up shortly, I did want to quickly identify two ways that understanding the parts of speech helps us diagnose problems in our dialog.

Firstly, there is a kind of “order of importance” to the parts of speech.  The best word to express a given idea is usually a verb, the next best is a noun, the next after that is an adjective or an adverb. (The remaining four parts are grammatical machinery and not really important for this discussion).

To illustrate, read the following sentences.

• GEORGE – I ache to be a writer [emphasizing the verb]
• GEORGE – I constantly ache to be a writer [employing an adverb]
• GEORGE – My ambition is to be a writer [emphasizing the noun]
• GEORGE – I am an aspiring writer [employing an adjective]

It is clear that the strongest, most arresting sentence is the first.  If your dialog feels a little weak, check whether an adverb or adjective is draining some of its strength.  Then check whether you have expressed the idea with a strong verb in place of an emphasis on nouns.

I am constantly caught out by how often I sabotage my writing by constructing sentences of dialog around nouns instead of strong verbs.

Secondly, specific nouns and verbs tend to make meaning clear, while generic nouns and verbs modified by adjectives and adverbs tend to obscure or muddy meaning.  If your writing feels vague and muddy, chances are it is due to the choices you have made regarding nouns and verbs.

Consider the following sentence…

• TEACHER:        Forcefully utilize a large nail.

By using an adverb attached to a weak or generic verb (“forcefully utilize”), the language already feels forced and artificial.  The adjective attached to the more generic noun (“large nail”) makes the line weaker still.

Now, compare it to…

• TEACHER:        Hammer the spike.

The more specific verb, “hammer”, without being weakened by the addition of an adverb, and the more specific noun, “spike”, create a much stronger and clearer sentence.  The sentence is more vivid (easier to picture), less ambiguous, more natural, and more forceful (impactful).

Next Time

Next time we’ll take a look at another way of classifying words that is helpful to our writing, explore what phrases, clauses, and common sentence types are, and take a deeper look at verbs.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Basic Grammar for Audio Writers Part 1 – The Parts appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Welcome Back. This week, Aristotle continues to give advice about the writing process, wading, briefly, into the subjects of outlining, gesture, structure, and unity.

Book XVII

Writing Process

a. See the Action

In this section of The Poetics, Aristotle turns his attention to the process of writing. He begins by talking about the importance of using our imaginations to “see” the action we are writing about played out on the stage of our inner thoughts.

In seeing the action “with the utmost vividness” we can help ourselves identify what is essential to the communication of our stories. In audio drama, this means the identification of sound and dialog that communicates everything necessary to create the scene for the audience.

Remember, in Audio, there is no visual information provided to the audience that the audience members do not construct for themselves. The audience of audio-drama constructs the stage for themselves on the basis of the audio cues we provide.

“What do I see that is essential?” is a question to be followed by “What dialog and sound is necessary to communicate that to my audience?”.Let’s say that our gumshoe is returning to his office a little worse for the wear.

SAM SPADE: I stumbled down the corridor and into my office. The beating I’d been given – mixed with the fifth-of-rye I’d drunk to take the edge off – left me too addled to notice that the door wasn’t locked.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS, THEN CLOSES

SOUND: TABLE IS BUMPED. EMPTY GLASS BOTTLES RATTLE FROM THE IMPACT.

SOUND: CHAIR SCRAPES.

SAM: Too tired to switch on the light, I threw myself down in my favorite chair and prepared to drift off into an alcohol-fuelled slumber. (BEAT) That’s when I heard the match strike.

SOUND: MATCH STRIKING.

GLINDA ROUTLEDGE: I borrowed one of your cigarettes Mr. Spade. I hope you don’t mind.

SAM: Mrs. Routledge? I’d generally advise against sitting in an armed man’s office in the middle of the night without the lights on. It’s liable to get you some unwanted ventilation.

GLINDA: Is that right? Then why didn’t you shoot? I could have been a burglar, after all.

SAM: Firstly, Mrs. Routledge, I’m too plastered. And secondly, I like that couch you’re sitting on too much. I wouldn’t want to ruin it with a fresh coat of red.

GLINDA: I wouldn’t have thought “being plastered” could put you on the bench where delivering “unwanted ventilation” is concerned, Mr. Spade.

SAM: Mrs Routledge, it’s far too “three-in-the-morning” for your usual games. And, while I’m prepared to swallow a reasonable amount of sarcasm for a fee, the shiner that’s blooming over my right eye has left me feeling less than generous.

—

From this exchange, we get most of the cues necessary to construct the scene. We discover and/or imagine…

• The unlocked office
• The door
• The table
• The chair
• The couch
• The match and cigarette
• The gun
• The inebriated state of the detective
• His black eye

All of the essential scene-building elements need to be referenced (via dialog, narration, or sound) in order to construct the scene. But the list does not need to be comprehensive because, in audio, drama, the imagination of the audience will provide what is missing. Merely mentioning an office is enough to create a fully stocked detective’s office in the mind of the listener. If elements are not supplied initially (such as the couch), a quick reference to them brings them into existence (and the listener will rarely be left wondering, “now where did that come from?”).

Reading aloud is particularly useful here. One of the best self-checks on my writing, that I know of, is the reading aloud of dialog. As a writer, a great many clunky sentences and ineffective lines of dialog have been fixed simply by reading them aloud. It is sometimes easy to forget that the words we choose, have to be read aloud by other human beings (actors) and that the line that appears on the page, while comprehensible enough inside our heads, is not so easily spoken aloud.

b. Direction

Next, Aristotle discusses gesture. Generally speaking, in our day and age, the actors and director work on this area of a drama together and it has little to do with the writer. However, writers do provide some important direction. While we cannot tell actors how to deliver our dialogue we do want to assist actors in interpreting the lines on the page.

Aristotle, under the heading of gesture, advises playwrights to prescribe the emotion which should govern a line’s delivery.

Some would argue that the dialogue in a well-written play should guide us to the emotion without the need for any special directions. And, perhaps, for the very best of writers, this may be true.

However, language (particularly the English language) can be very ambiguous and confusing – and even the best writers may need to spell out when a line (that appears, on the surface, to be neutral) should be delivered with sarcasm, or simmering anger, or rage, or teasing good-humor, etc.

In Audio drama this is accomplished through capitalized and bracketed directions such as (SARCASTIC), (ANGRY), (TEASING), etc. appearing in the dialogue.

While it is never a writer’s job to tell an actor what to do, it is always the writer’s job to accurately communicate how a character is feeling and speaking. Bracketed directions are an important tool that helps us to do this.

c. Outlining

It turns out that Aristotle was not a pantser, but rather a planner when it came to writing. As a planner, myself, I’m actually pretty happy with this. But if you fly by the seat of your pants when writing (one of the most gifted writers I know has never written an outline in his life) there is still some helpful stuff here.

I happen to be of the opinion that pantsers make just as much use of the rules for planning a piece of writing as those who outline ahead of time, they just apply them later as part of their ongoing revision efforts, while the planners apply them right from the start. Either way, the endpoint is roughly the same.

For Aristotle, the process is straightforward. He advises the sketching of a general outline (beginning, middle, and end), followed by the naming of the various episodes needed to progress through the story, followed lastly by the amplification of the detail (or detailed writing) of each of these episodes (acts, scenes, lines, etc.).

In our own culture, we have become so very accustomed to three-act structure (applied in film, television, and via novels) that we know, almost without thinking about it, when the basic rules of storytelling have been ignored or skipped by an author. Since we know the structure so well, it can be very easy to construct our plays via a detailed outline that demonstrates ahead of time, that we have hit all the appropriate character and story beats necessary to get our stories across.

But because of this incredible familiarity, many writers can hit these beats without the aid of a pre-generated plan (so ingrained has storytelling become, and so immersed in the culture of storytelling are we).

For Aristotle, the most important achievement to arise from planning a story is, the imposition of unity that it affords. In planning, the writer can build each element, scene, and action around the central message of the play, contributing to its overall unity and purpose. He uses the word “Telos” to describe this. The telos of the play is the plot reduced to its essentials in just a couple of lines – the log-line or elevator pitch, if you will.

According to Aristotle, we should never begin writing without having clearly identified the irreducible essence of the story. Writing a logline or elevator pitch at the outset of the process helps both to guide and restrain our story-telling so that it remains unified and relevant.

Book XVIII

Two parts of the plot: complication and unraveling.

Aristotle, in a final act of classification (at least with regard to story-telling), breaks the plot into two important parts. The complication, by which he means everything leading up to the reversal, and the unraveling or denouement, by which he means everything which follows from the reversal.

By making the reversal such a conspicuous boundary in plot development, one could be tempted to believe that it marks the half-way point in a story. This is not, of course, the case. A character may fall from fortune into misfortune early in the plot (at the end of the first act for example) or late in the plot (at the end of the second act – as is common in most modern films). Shakespeare liked to place his climax in the center of the play and have the reversal occur with it.

What is important to note here is that, in tragedy, the reversal is essential. The complication (no matter how long or short) is the portion of the play that MUST lead inevitably to the reversal and the unraveling (no matter how short or long) is the portion of the play that MUST lay out the consequences of the reversal.

Because Aristotle believed good stories are stories that maintain a laser-like focus on their objectives, he provides these classifications to help the storyteller stay focused and unify the work.

Does the action contribute to, or lead to the reversal without any wasted words or episodes? Then it is relevant, contributes to the unity of the whole, and should be retained. If not, it should be jettisoned.

Does the action follow from and make clear the consequences of the reversal without any wasted words or episodes? Then, again, it contributes to the unity of the whole and should be retained, but should, otherwise, be jettisoned.

Tragedies are (as he has already explained) either simple (being made up of episodes strung together) or complex (containing reversals and recognition). But they can also involve characters who are motivated by ethical concerns (rational individuals) or characters who are motivated by passion (emotional individuals).

Aristotle preferred, again as has already been stated, those plays which were complex in nature and had as their protagonists, individuals of a rational disposition. In our own time, it is common for us to have characters who are both rational and emotional and we are far less concerned that our stories should have an ideological message in them than Aristotle was.

Aristotle was at pains to require playwrights to master BOTH the complication AND the unraveling of stories. It was so common in his day for writers to produce good beginnings or good endings, but not both, that he felt the need to address it as a significant problem. Our time is, perhaps, not that different.

Selection

He gives two final pieces of advice in Book 18. Firstly, he reminds writers of the need to be judicious in selecting the elements of a story they wish to tell. You can’t put a spotlight on every action a character takes in the procession of events from the story’s beginning to its conclusion. A writer must elide time, passing over the less important in favor of the more important. Every bathroom stop a character makes during Oedipus Rex is not nearly important enough for inclusion in the story. Selection is essential, and, again, the kernel, or essence, of the story should be our guide. Only include what is necessary to the telling of this story (it’s reversal and resolution) and leave all else on the cutting room floor.

Making the pieces fit

Finally, Aristotle asks the writer to make the chorus an important element in the telling of the story, rather than a sideshow or distraction. The Greek Chorus often explained features of the plot to the viewers (something that Aristotle was not in favor of) or provided a form of half-time entertainment (marking scene transitions and so forth). Neither of these uses were satisfactory as far as Aristotle is concerned. He wished the chorus to push the story forward rather than distract people from it, and in this there is a great lesson to be learned.The audio dramatist (and in fact any dramatist of the modern era) has little use for a Greek chorus, but there are plenty of ways in which the elements of audio story-telling can come into conflict with one another.

All the supporting elements (dialog, narration, sound effects, music) must work together to support the story (in particular, the clarity of the story-telling). An immersive soundscape is a boon to any production, but if it competes with the story for attention, it is failing in its proper job. Likewise, good music is an obvious benefit, but not at the expense of the storytelling. The actors, the sounds, the music, the narration – all of these things must subordinate themselves to supporting the telling of the story. If at any point, the story becomes merely a supporting prop for showcasing the actor, the music, or the sound design, the cart has been put before the horse and the production WILL fail. When all elements see themselves as being in harmony with, and in support of, the goal of telling the story, they will all shine in their own way. When they compete and distract, from the storytelling, the whole ultimately suffers.

Next Time: Aristotle takes a look at diction (or the musicality of dialog) and the grammatical building blocks of words.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Learning from Aristotle – The Poetics of Aristotle Applied to Audio Drama – Part 5 appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Hi, and welcome back to this ongoing dive into Aristotle’s analysis of dramaturgy. This week we are getting, at last, into the practical advice Aristotle provides to help us write our plays.

Book XIII

Dramatic Plots

Aristotle thinks about art in primarily moral terms. Part of his purpose was to defend the arts against his teachers, Plato and Socrates, who were… less than convinced that art was socially beneficial. As a result, Aristotle felt that a story without a moral point (social benefit) was less perfect than one which presented a moral point.

Again, we need to remind ourselves that, for Aristotle, a morally beneficial story wasn’t one that taught people values such as kindness and compassion. For Aristotle, as for Greek society in general at that time, moral virtues were the civic virtues of ruthless practicality and rationality. If a story evokes fear and pity in the audience, this is beneficial, not because fear and pity are worthwhile emotions, but because they are emotions to be purged and removed from the body politic.

For Aristotle, the moral/civic value of storytelling lay in providing an outlet for the removal of unwanted emotions and the promotion of civic virtues (such as bravery and ruthless rationality). He would probably have been very comfortable in the company of Ayn Rand.

In our own day, we have allowed ourselves the freedom to enjoy art for its own sake and believe entertainment a social good in and of itself (though we have not, for the most part and rightly, unchained art from all moral principle).

Aristotle’s intention in Book XIII is to show us what a perfect tragedy must look like.

Here, he deals with tragedy alone (and not with any other form or genre).

For Aristotle, the perfect tragedy is complex (involving a reversal – change of fortune – and/or recognition), imitative (presenting human action), and exciting fear and pity in the audience (so that these unwanted emotions can be done away with).

A perfectly good man who is undone by circumstances evokes shock rather than fear and pity. Such a story violates our expectations regarding the moral order of the world, but does not, according to Aristotle, cause us to relate strongly to the story with fear and pity. The historically undeniable impact of the story of the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth (a perfectly good man) suggests that this is not, in fact, necessarily true, but some depictions of the story (such as the emphasis on gore in Mel Gibson’s “the Passion of the Christ”) have certainly produced more shock than empathy.

Further, the story in which a perfectly bad man succeeds, fails to satisfy the moral sense or evoke fear and pity.

Neither does the downfall of the perfectly bad man leave us particularly satisfied, since, though the moral sense is satisfied, we cannot identify with the character; we feel little in observing their fate.In all cases the word “perfectly” is important. These plots fail less, the more the characters approach the admixture of good and bad that exists in all of us as common people.

How are fear and pity inspired?

They are inspired, in the case of pity, by unmerited misfortune.

Fear is similar, but different in that it is inspired by misfortune that occurs to someone “like” ourselves.

Hamartia: The importance of the character’s flaw

Aristotle is at pains to state that we are only moved when the circumstances which lead to a reversal of fortune are brought about, not by vice or evil scheming, but by a flaw in the character’s nature (with which we can relate).

In modern terms this flaw is the character’s wound, the broken part of the personality that the character needs, often unknowingly, to heal. It has usually been inflicted at some time in the past and, as the story opens, is an integrated part of who the character is (usually demonstrated in some way by actions the character takes to protect that wound from exposure).

For example, a character may be content to be the best dancer in the local dance school (a big fish in a small pond) in order to maintain their pride or hide their lack of faith in themselves. Perhaps this is due to merciless bullying by an overbearing parent sometime in the character’s past. Regardless, the character’s wound holds them back from taking the next step and risking rejection in the world beyond the dance school in order to find fulfillment and success as a high level performer.

In a non-tragedy, characters usually succeed, via the character arc, in healing this wound (the dancer is forced to step out of their comfort zone – by a reversal such as the loss of the dance school – and attempt to join a major national dance company, overcoming obstacles along the way until, win or lose – via a further reversal from failure to success -, they make an accommodation with themselves that results in some form of healing).

In a tragedy, however, the character is usually undone by this flaw and the familiarity of their plight inspires the fear and pity in the audience that Aristotle is so concerned to cultivate.

Unless the character to whom all this happens is enough like us that we can put ourselves in their shoes, we will not feel fear or pity on their behalf.

Aristotle is particularly moved by the unhappy ending and is not at all keen on stories that involve a reversal of fortune that, itself, is reversed before the end. He does, however, accept that such stories are very popular, but he attributes this popularity to the weakness of audiences and a certain weakness in writers that makes them cater to the whims of those audiences.

As a writer who enjoys a happy ending and doesn’t share Aristotle’s contempt for the tastes of the common man, I am quite happy to disregard this final observation and agree to disagree with the great philosopher on this point. Non-tragedies are not inferior to tragedies, in my view, merely different.

He does redeem himself somewhat by pointing this out, suggesting that the story with the happy ending (as evidenced by a reversal of the reversal) is of another category and genre than tragedy. For the Greeks such stories were comedies (not because they were funny, but because everything that was not a tragedy was classified a comedy). But since comedies lacked the enervating moral purpose of tragedies, he saw them as a lesser art form – something which, from the perspective of our modern vantage point, it is easy to take issue with.

So what can the audio-dramatist take away from this? I think the following points make up the essential transferable kernel of truth to be found in this book.

Characters must be relatable (in that they must be a recognizable combination of the good AND bad traits that are common to human beings). The story itself must involve a reversal of fortune that is directly related to a character’s main flaw or wound (one that has become integrated into their personality at some time in the past). The outcome of the story (whether happy or otherwise) must follow causally from this wound (and the character’s actions) to either heal or protect that wound.

Book XIV

Plot structures

While Aristotle acknowledges the place of spectacle in stories, he considers spectacle the least satisfying means by which fear and pity are inspired. This is great news for the audio dramatist, for whom visual spectacle is an impossibility. Of course, the audio-dramatist, like the novelist, is involved in the creation of images within the minds of the audience (and these images can be spectacular indeed), but there are no accompanying visuals to assist us in this. Instead, the aids to the construction of images in our imagination are sounds, music, and, chiefly, dialog.

It’s interesting to note that Aristotle opens Book XIV by suggesting that a play is only successful where it can be understood without the aid of the eye, through hearing alone.

Basically, Aristotle felt that if a drama could not (if I might use a modern example) be simulcast successfully on radio while being performed on stage (without confusion) , then the play had failed. I get the feeling he would have LOVED the medium of audio drama were he alive to experience it.

Of course, he also would have been laughed out of town by a film industry that has learned the value of visual storytelling.That said, it is no less accurate to state that Aristotle is talking primarily to those who love writing dialog. For Aristotle, it is in dialog that the effects upon the audience that Aristotle values the most, are achieved.

So, what, according to Aristotle, are the circumstances that people find frightening or pitiable?Actions which create this effect are, generally, destructive and usually the product of conflict.

One person wants something that another wants, but that both cannot have. The cost of not having this thing must be sufficiently high that we feel either pity or fear or both for the character. These costs are often referred to as the stakes.

For example, we do not feel much fear or pity for the participants in a game of bottlecap soccer. However, if we know that the loser must clear the way for the winner to get the girl, the stakes (what stands to be won or lost) are considerably higher and the chances of fear and pity are greater. If, further, we know that the loser is to make way for the winner by ending his own life, the stakes are even higher (and so correspondingly, is the investment of fear and pity from the audience).

According to Aristotle, if an enemy kills an enemy, the level of investment is lower than if the characters know one another. The stakes are higher if the two players, in our example above, are best friends, and higher still if they are brothers.

In the creation of dramatic situations, therefore, the dramatist must always seek those situations that heighten the stakes – life and death being the highest stakes of all – and involve the strongest of relationships.Aristotle breaks these situations down into a number of types.

Firstly, the participants in the conflict may be knowingly engaged with those who stand to be harmed.

Secondly, the participants in the conflict may not know who will be harmed by their actions until the action has been accomplished.

Thirdly, the participants in the conflict may know one another but fail to follow through or abandon the conflict.

Fourthly, the participants may be in ignorance of the identities of the victims of the conflict and then, on discovery of the identities, withhold harm at the last minute.

Aristotle dismisses the third kind of situation out of hand (feeling it does not belong to tragedy). Hamlet comes very close to being a story of this kind of situation.Of the remaining situations, he feels the second is better than the first, and, surprisingly, that fourth is superior to all.

In this regard, I suspect that Aristotle is making the mistake of thinking that his own taste for the last situation is a guide to what is universally true. Or, perhaps, he merely feels that, where harm is prevented, the story is of a morally superior kind. In this, as in other matters, I am prepared to accept that I have either misunderstood him, or that we do not see eye to eye on this particular point.

The takeaway from Book XIV, for the audio dramatist, is simply this; to give an audience a strong emotional experience, we must raise the stakes of the conflicts we present and strengthen the connections between the parties to the conflicts. The higher the stakes and the stronger the relationships under threat, the greater will be the fear and pity experienced by the audience.

Book XV

Character

In Book XV, Aristotle turns his attention to the development and depiction of character.To begin with he suggests that characters must be moral actors (taking actions with moral consequences).

As has been noted elsewhere, Greek morality was different to our own and (Ouch!) Aristotle had a very low opinion of women and servants (women being, according to him, inferior, and servants, worthless). He did allow that these inferior beings can be good (or at least capable of demonstrating moral intention in their actions) but it is quite jarring to come across such an unvarnished statement of sexism in the text.

Despite the inappropriate framing of his point, it is true that the moral quality of an action demonstrates character.

He goes on, however, to suggest that character should also be matched to class in terms of propriety and that it is inappropriate for a woman to, for example, show manly valor. This is base snobbery, and while it is an often-unconscious belief amongst those who consider themselves elite, that others are inferior, it is not something we need to give legitimacy to in these more enlightened times.

Next, he turns his attention to truth. Characters must be recognizably true to life. That is, we must feel as though we might actually be able to meet and converse with them as with a real person and that their behaviour would be comprehensible (even when surprising).Lastly, he talks of consistency. Characters must be consistent in their behaviour, such that, when it occurs, even the surprising action fits in with what we know and expect of the character and appears, in hindsight, thoroughly predictable. Even an inconsistent character must consistently be so.

I think it would be fair to conclude that the first two points are not that important (the second being plainly wrong). Any action after all is a moral action, revealing to an extent the moral character of the individual. More important is it for us to ensure that the character feels real (whether a dragon, or school-teacher) and behave in a consistent manner (whether functional or dysfunctional, predictable or surprising).

With regard to the display of character, Aristotle emphasises the importance of causality. No word or action undertaken by a character should be unmotivated. Each should be causally linked to what came before and what is about to ensue. Further, no action should be random and senseless. There is no place, in Aristotle’s view, for the sudden arrival of unmotivated characters or magical beings who will solve the character’s problems for them. The Deus Ex Machina is here, disposed of, as a poor literary device nearly 400 years before Christ.

Paradoxically, Aristotle, is also in favour of exaggeration in the presentation of characters. He advises the writer to create characters who are like us, only more so; being nobler, and (while remaining true to life) larger than life at the same time.

Archetypes (or stereotypically “big” characters) have always been a useful shorthand for writers. We all recognize the evil sorcerer when Darth Vader enters the stage. But it is also important to make the character real to us (showing us Anakin Skywalker underneath).

For the audio-dramatist (as for any other area of dramatic endeavour) the creation of realistic, consistent characters, whose actions are sensibly motivated by cause and effect is an essential of the writer’s art.

Book XVI

Recognition (Anagnorisis)

For Aristotle, characters experience reversals and revelations. It’s not that far from the action/exposition model that numerous writers refer to today. An action is undertaken to achieve an intention but the reverse occurs. A revelation then ensues.

Recognition occurs where the character(s) have discovered something that affects the story.

Aristotle is particularly fond of the recognition that occurs where one character realizes the identity of another character (or of themselves), but recognition need not be limited to matters of identity.

In a play the opportunity for recognition arises in subtext.June has been given an ultimatum by her father; she must answer the Duke’s proposal of marriage by midnight today. Her heart, however, belongs to Michael, a man whose fortune is under threat.

Michael has managed to secure an investment to save his factory but it will not be signed and sealed until tomorrow.

The unhappy couple meet. June hints that she needs Michael to pop the question immediately or she will be forced to marry the duke.

Michael, however, is wracked with uncertainty because the deal is not signed but hints that he will shortly be able to make the proposal June so wishes.

According to Aristotle, the recognition of the situation that the couple are in might occur in response to a specific sign; June is wearing an engagement ring and Michael notices.

This form of revelation is the least artistic, and results from, in Aristotle’s opinion, a lack of imagination on the part of the writer.

Worse still is where the two character’s openly tell one another of their circumstances, making the subtext, text. Aristotle felt that while the former is the least artistic means of recognition, this latter method of recognition had no artistry whatsoever.

A further form occurs where an external agency furnishes a sign; Michael realises this must be the fateful moment when he sees the Duke’s carriage on its way to June’s ancestral home, or when he hears the church bells chime and connects them to June’s hints.

Another form occurs where a character puts together the clues and arrives at the revelation; Michael sees the tears in June’s eyes, connects the news that June’s house guest, the Duke, has come to the local area in search of a wife with the statement that her father has begun looking for a suitable match that might preserve the family inheritance, and realises he must act.

A final form of revelation comes directly from the action itself; distracted by his upcoming business transaction, Michael and June part company. The next day, signed contracts in hand, Michael rushes to the manor only to find a wedding service underway and June about to be married to the Duke.

Of each of these means of recognition, Aristotle preferred the last.In every age and every medium, revelations that arise from the events of the story itself are much to be preferred. This is as true for audio-drama as for the stage, film, and the novel.

Next time: Aristotle spends some time discussing the writing process and some new plot elements.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Learning from Aristotle – The Poetics of Aristotle Applied to Audio Drama – Part 4 appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Today, I’m only travelling a short distance through Aristotle’s poetics. He is again presenting us with a series of definitions, but these definitions are highly practical (at least until we get to book XII which, I think, can be skipped without any real loss occurring). If we use these definitions as a guide, we gain some great insights into what makes a successful scene.

POETICS BOOK X

Simple and Complex Plots

Aristotle makes a really useful distinction here.A simple plot is made of events in sequence. A complex plot involves reversal and/or recognition.

For Aristotle, the difference lies in whether events follow one “after” another in time (are post hoc) or whether events happen “because of” one another (propter hoc).

E. M. Forster’s famous distinction between story and plot provides a useful illustration; “‘The king died and then the queen died’ is a story,” Forster writes. “The king died, and then the queen died of grief’ is a plot”.

More recently, the creators of South Park (Matt Stone and Trey Parker) have expressed the idea in a similar fashion;

When you have a set of story beats (or an outline in other words) and you can put the words “and then” in-between each one – the story fails to grip. That’s boring.

However, if in-between each story beat you can put the words “but” or “therefore” then you have a story in which the events taking place are reacting to each other. The story/plot builds momentum and tension based on everything else that has happened previously, not because of the arbitrary whims of the writer.

POETICS BOOK XI

Peripatea, Anagnorisis, and Pathos

Aristotle introduces three important concepts here; “Peripatea” or reversal, “Anagnorisis” or recognition, and “Pathos” or strong emotion.

As usual, Aristotle is concerned with definitions first, but good stories make use of all three of these plot elements, often in the same scene.

Peripatea

An action occurs but achieves the opposite of its intention – this is reversal.

Reversals are pretty straight forward. A character has an intention that drives their action, but the opposite of the intention results; John sets out to capture a burglar (intention), but is arrested at the scene of the crime by the police (opposite).

Anagnorisis

An action occurs that results in insight, revelation, or understanding – this is recognition.

Recognition occurs where someone discovers something significant about another person – and for Aristotle, recognition nearly always involves discoveries about people in particular (though it can, less usefully, involve discoveries about objects as well); John discovers that Mary is related to every one of the murder victims.

Pathos

An action occurs that results in a strong empathic reaction (the feeling of disgust, sympathy, fear, horror, etc.) in the audience – this is strong emotion.

Strong emotion (in the audience) results where the action involves injury to the individual; John is captured and tortured by the antagonist, losing an eye in the process.

If a scene fails to include at least one of these elements, it fails to be an interesting scene. The success of a scene is heightened by doubling up on these elements.

What is the test of a good scene?

Here are some questions we can apply to our evaluation; Does the action follow causally from what has preceded it? Has something changed by the end of it? Does our audience feel something intense? Have the characters discovered something important about someone? Have the characters experienced a reversal/setback?

If the scene achieves none of the above – that is, there has been no material change to the circumstances of the characters by its conclusion – then the scene itself is a failure, is unnecessary, and should be cut out of the story.

POETICS BOOK XII

The Parts of the Tragedy

This section doesn’t seem particularly helpful (and should probably be ignored). It relates very specifically to the formal structure of Greek plays – a product of their time with little relevance to our present. It is, as you have probably guessed, another set of definitions about the elements of the play.

For the sake of completeness I’ll summarize them here:

Prologue

Extends from the opening of the play to the first full performance by the chorus.

Episode

Those scenes of the tragedy that take place between choric performances.

Exode

Extends from the final choric performance to the end of the play.

Chorus

The choric performances are divided into two parts: the parode, the first full performance of the chorus while it is processing into the stage area, and the stasima, the choric performances that alternate with the episodes of dialogue by the actors.

Commos

A performance within the tragedy in which both actors and chorus take part.

And with that, we at last we leave the preliminary definitions behind and get into what Aristotle advises writers regarding the construction of drama. See you in a couple of weeks.

Next time, we’ll begin to examine the construction of drama in detail.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Learning from Aristotle – The Poetics of Aristotle Applied to Audio Drama – Part 3 appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Here we are taking a look at the next 5 sections of Aristotle’s poetics. As I stated last time, I’m working through Aristotle’s Poetics in an attempt to figure out why, even today, he is pointed to by script-writers as a guiding light in the production of drama. He is wordy, and often difficult to work out but, little by little, I’m beginning to see what his fans appreciate about him. Today we look at the elements of drama, in particular, plot, and what makes a good plot (at least according to Aristotle).

POETICS BOOK V

On Comedy and the Epic

In book V Aristotle treats briefly of comedy and the epic.Comedy concerns itself with the ridiculous (but not harmful). That is, in a comedy people behave in dysfunctional or inappropriate ways (such that they appear ridiculous and elicit laughter) but without suffering harm or eliciting sympathy. This was important to Aristotle, because, as already stated, plays in Greek society served an overtly moral purpose and so, he felt the need to establish the moral credentials of comedy. For Aristotle, the comedy was morally useful in rendering inappropriate social behavior ridiculous and thereby furnishing the audience with examples to avoid.

The Epic differs from Tragedy in that it is wider in scope and narrative in form. In today’s parlance, the epic is a book, while the tragedy is a play. A book is narrated, while a play is enacted, primarily, before the eyes (as an audio-play is enacted, primarily, before the ears). Everything you might find in a book can be found in a play, but not everything in a play is found in a book.

If we think of the comedies of Shakespeare, we see this principle at work. The plays might deal with serious matter (duels, love, suicide, etc.), but it is all done in good fun and no-one is ever really hurt (humiliated, maybe, but never hurt). The duels are avoided, the suicides are revealed to have been faked etc. Even where the antagonist gets their come-upance, their final fate is dealt with “off-stage”.

We also see that characters rarely grow or change in comedies designed after the Aristotellian model. The character we meet at the beginning of a comedy is just the same as at the end (though their circumstances may have changed). Is the bachelor egotistical and vapid at the beginning of the story? He will be so at the end (even if by that time he is married). Is the character selfish and stupid? They will remain so.We could do worse than follow such a model. For Aristotle, growth or character change undermined the ridiculous nature of the character and, instead, inspire empathy. This, Aristotle felt, removed what made comedy, comedy.Today, we are much more inclined to want to include character depth in comedy writing, but the principle remains true that the more we have a character grow and change, the less ridiculous they become. Fixed and unchanging characters are a feature of comedy that find little place in tragedy (except, perhaps, as comic relief).

POETICS BOOK VI

Tragedy

Now, back to tragedy (or the play).One of Aristotle’s more difficult, and famous, definitions reads “Tragedy, then, is an imitation of an action that is serious, complete, and of a certain magnitude; in language embellished with each kind of artistic ornament, the several kinds being found in separate parts of the play; in the form of action, not of narrative; through pity and fear effecting the proper purgation of these emotions.

“We’ve dealt elsewhere with the notion that plays, “through pity and fear effecting the proper purgation of these emotions”, are required to be morally useful. This may be a laudable opinion (sort of), but it is not a constraint we feel the need to strictly apply today. Even as recently as the Golden Age of Radio, radio-shows, such as the Shadow, felt constrained (and were in fact constrained by law) to include deliberate moral lessons – “the weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay. The Shadow knows”, etc. Today, we feel far less constrained and can produce a work of art or play simply to be entertaining. That said, it would be foolish to consider art morally neutral. Entertainment is a high calling, providing people with a way to cope with the stresses of life, a temporary release from suffering, a means of sharing joy with others, etc. It can also be deliberately corruptive. Sometimes this is a feature of the design of the work. Sometimes this is a function of the use to which the work is put. Personally, I feel horrendously under-qualified to be giving writers any moral advice beyond ” be aware of the consequences of your choices, be responsible, own your decisions, and, where possible, try to avoid doing harm”.

Much of the remainder of Aristotle’s definition is common sense. According to Aristotle, a play presents a recognizable and plausible imitation of reality (even where that reality is made fantastic by the presence of gods and monsters). More on this later.Tragedy, in distinction to comedy, is serious. Dealing, as it should, with important themes and actions and consequences, etc. If it is not serious, then it is, in fact, comedy.

It is complete, in that it has a beginning, middle, and end that are intrinsic to the story. A good play begins with the first meaningful action of the story, relates only those events necessary to moving the story forward, and concludes as soon as the story is resolved. All irrelevant material is rejected. Completeness, therefore involves not only including everything necessary for the telling of the tale, but also an economic approach, excluding everything that would distract from it.

To say that a play is of a certain magnitude is to say that it is limited in duration, but also that it functions within certain fixed limits. A stage play has a limited amount of time to tell its story, true. But it also has only so much real-estate with which to work (the stage), the patience of the audience with the story (an audience will only sit still so long) as well as budgetary constraints on the degree and quality of the set, costumes, props, orchestra, etc. that accompany it.

It is often said that Radio is free of constraint. We can, in much the way that a book might, place the setting of our play anywhere in this universe or another. We can as easily visit the belly of a whale or the farthest star.

This freedom is not without limits, however. The radio audience must be engaged quickly. Distraction is only a channel-change away. The soundscape and dialog must be readily decodable. The number of voices must not be so many as to make recognition of the characters difficult without visual aid, etc.

A key feature of drama (and especially of audio drama) is that it is delivered in dialog. Yes, exceptions exist – the BBC’s famous sound-only story, The Revenge, by Andrew Sachs, has no dialog and stands out as a case in point. But generally, dialog is the medium of storytelling in audio-drama. Aristotle places language “embellished with each kind of artistic ornament, the several kinds being found in separate parts of the play” front and center.It is safe to say that that audio-dramatist must be able to do the same, harnessing dialog as a means of story-telling, if they wish to produce scripts for this medium.

The famous maxim “show don’t tell” finds its origin in Aristotle’s insistence that, as far as plays are concerned, drama is “found in action, not narrative”.

But what of non-visual media, like radio, that rely on dialog? The maxim still holds. Characters should not tell us that they are, for example, angry. We should intuit the anger via subtext. We show the anger through the characters words and interactions (with supporting sounds), but we should never tell the audience the character’s emotional state, outright.

COMPARE…

BOB: I’m so angry, I feel like slamming the door today. The yellow party won the election.

WITH…

BOB: Get the hell out of my way! And take that damned yellow hat off. I don’t care who won the election. I’m not having one of those hats in this office.

SOUND: OFFICE DOOR SLAMS

According to Aristotle, tragedy is made up of six parts, organized under three categories;

Category 1: Objects of Action (comprising of Plot, Character, and Thought)

Category 2: Means or Manner of Action (comprising of Language – diction – and Melody)

Category 3: Mode or Medium of Action (comprising of Spectacle (costume, special effects, and scenery).

Aristotle makes plot the primary element of storytelling. For this he has been roundly criticized on many occasions. Those who enjoy character-based drama have often found his opinion obnoxious, feeling, with some justification, that writers who focus primarily on plot produce weak stories. There would be some justification to this viewpoint if Aristotle was only interested in plot (to the exclusion of all else), but he is not. His interest in plot is fundamentally an interest in action and reaction.

Character is revealed in the actions and reactions that the dramatis personae have to the events around them. Character is internal, but, internal character is not accessible to the eye. Because people are capable of deception and lies, it is not accessible to the ear, either. As human beings we can choose to believe or disbelieve what a person says, but we rarely discount what we see them do.

As a result, Aristotle argues that a person’s true character is not revealed by their statements but by their actions. The coward may talk of his bravery, but his true character is revealed when it is tested by events and results in action (standing-fast or running away). Because Aristotle emphasizes the revelation of character through the actions and reactions of characters (rather than through narrative explanation), he argues that events/plot are primary. In no way does he exclude the importance of character. He merely demands that character be revealed in action.

Of the elements of a plot, he singles out the reversal and recognition (discussed later) as the most significant.

Aristotle places character second in his list. Character is where we learn of the moral qualities of the individual (remember his idea that characters are either better, worse, or the same as us). It’s worth stating again that extremes of character are to be avoided (except, perhaps, in comedy). The perfectly good and perfectly evil character do not feel real to us. We know ourselves to be flawed and we empathize with the flaws we observe in others (even as we like or dislike the character overall). The catalyst for the revelation of character are the events of the plot.

Thirdly, Aristotle discusses thought, more properly understood as motivation. A character’s action must never be random. Something must motivate it and that motivation must be plausible. If a character expresses fear, there must be something in the environment or in the mind/thoughts of the character that elicits that fear. If a character begins to run, there must be an accompanying motivation (a desire to exercise, or the fear of an axe-wielding maniac).

While the motivation may be hidden for a time (in order to increase curiosity) it cannot stay so. The motivation of the action must be clear, revealed in sound and dialog, to be satisfying.At a more basic level, motivation relates to desire. Characters never initiate action without wanting… something. Even when coerced there is desire (to get out from under the coercion).

The characters desire/motivation is revealed in what they choose to do or avoid and in their decisions.

When characters face choices, anticipate, consider, weigh up, and explore the potential consequences of those choices, and then settle upon an action, thought is further revealed.

Fourth comes diction– the way voices are differentiated and the idiosyncratic ways that characters speak. Does the character speak slowly and thoughtfully, using big words? Does the character drop the “h”? Does the character mispronounce words, or utilize an accent? Is there a rhythm to the words, or are the words abrasive and jarring?

Aristotle also discusses, fifthly, song. The lyrics, rhythms, and melody of Gilbert and Sullivan spring readily to mind (although the art of the musical is somewhat foreign to a non-musician like myself). Song is something that Aristotle sees as an embellishment of the dialog.

With that understanding we turn to our final element; spectacle. On the stage this consists of costuming, props, and set. In film this is expanded to include CGI and special effects. But in audio-drama, the “spectacle” is created by sound effects and music. The sound effects support and illustrate the action of the story, creating the pictures in our minds that help to sell the reality of the story world to us, while music underscores and emphasizes the emotion and tone of the story. But both, in combination with the dialog, can bring the world of the play to life.

Aristotle makes the spectacle least important in his list on the grounds that, were it left out, a good play could still be enjoyed on the basis of the dialog alone. While sound is essential to a sound-only production such as the BBC’s “Revenge”, it is certainly the exception rather than the rule. As a life-long reader of plays (both for entertainment and as a means of self-education regarding the art of play-writing) generally speaking a play doesn’t “need” the embellishments (except at points and to achieve certain effects). However, the embellishments of sound and music can and do significantly increase the immersion generated by the story and, in many cases, could not be removed without doing violence to the whole.

POETICS BOOK VII

The PlotThere are times when reading Aristotle’s Poetics that I find myself wanting to scream. He often goes into frustrating detail about more obvious matters, while providing very little detail on the more complex topics that I find harder to understand. In book vii, he labors over the seemingly obvious, but there is value here nonetheless.He reminds us of his definition (again) that drama is “an imitation that is complete and whole and of a certain magnitude” before going on to define what that completeness is.

A drama has a beginning, middle, and end. The beginning starts at the last possible initial and essential moment (a moment that nothing essential can come before). The ending occurs at the last possible final and essential moment (a moment that nothing essential can follow after). And the middle is made up of those essential moments that come between the beginning and end.

Obvious, right?

But it is the essential nature of the parts that are significant to Aristotle. A story doesn’t begin just anywhere. It begins with an event that initiates the action and leads irrevocably through a chain of events to a conclusion. These events are selected by the writer and NONE of them can be purposeless, random, or unnecessary if the writing is to be successful.

Artistotle goes on to point out that a dramatic work of art must be comprehensible (that it must make sense). If it is too short, a beginning only, it will not satisfy. If it is too long (so that, either because of its complexity or duration, its parts and their working together cannot be discovered by the viewer/listener) it also fails to satisfy.

Here he is concerned with both duration and completeness. A play may be long or short, but it must be complete and, in being complete, it must not be stuffed with anything un-necessary.

Finally, he makes the point that a plot must be concerned with change. He takes as his primary examples a change from “good fortune to bad” or “bad fortune to good”.

For Aristotle, a story cannot be good where the status quo does not alter.In terms of how this applies to audio-drama, the following can be stated;

An audio drama (of whatever length) whether an episode in a series or a feature length story must describe a change in the circumstances of a character (or characters) from its beginning to its end in as economical, yet essentially complete, a manner as possible.

POETICS BOOK VIII

The Unity of the Plot

Unity is an essential feature of a story. Sometimes a writer makes the mistake of thinking that a story is unified because it deals with a single subject or character, but, as Aristotle points out, a life is not a plot. The fact that I was born, lived in a home with my parents, went to school, worked in a series of jobs, married, and had a family does not make these events a unified plot simply because they are about me.

A plot is formed by the selection of events around a particular character goal/desire and restricts itself to only those events relevant to the complete telling of that tale. The Odyssey by Homer, for example, carefully selects from the life of Odysseus only those events relevant to his home-coming.

A successful plot is dependent on the skill of the writer at selecting those events that contribute to the whole in an essential way. Recounting what the protagonist ate for breakfast is not essential to a story where the protagonist’s goal is to rescue his kidnapped son, for example.

The test of the unity of a story consists of ensuring that no element of a story can be removed or added without significantly changing or distorting the whole. A whole must be understood in relation to its parts and its parts in relation to the whole. Anything that cannot contribute to the unity of the story must be excluded.

POETICS BOOK IX

Plot vs. History

Just as a life is not a story, neither is history, in and of itself. Recording events as they happened, in sequence does not result in a plot. Stories involve invention. They are about what might be, or what might have been, more than they are about what actually was. And, unlike history, which concerns itself (at least according to Aristotle), with producing a comprehensive record of events, drama aims, more philosophically, at communicating ideas. In this, I suspect Aristotle is groping towards the notion of “theme”.

Rather than being a mere chronological sequencing of events, a story is about something. And in Artistotle’s Greece, where drama primarily served a civic function (teaching and promoting civic duty) it is not hard to see why Aristotle felt this way.

But as a general principle, beyond the culture of Greece, this has a lot of merit. Stories aren’t merely collections of events from a life or history. They are, in fact about something; about coping with change, about love, or revenge, or grief, or achievement, etc. They are, to paraphrase Aristotle, about universal experiences that we all can relate to (or they are if they are any good).The value of history, as a source of story, lies in its plausibility. The story based on history is believable because its events have in fact happened in the real world. However, Aristotle is at pains to point out that we are not restricted to “historical” stories. All stories, even the historical ones, must be fictionalized to a degree (through selection and invention) so that they can express their message. History lends a sense of reality to stories, but wild flights of fiction can be plausible so long as each event is linked to each by a clear chain of cause and effect.

That which Aristotle calls the episodic story is to be avoided. A story that is merely a series of events in sequence. The “and then” story – “I got up and then I went outside and then I caught a rabbit and then I ate it and then I looked at the sky and then I noticed a storm gathering” – is ultimately unsatisfying.

For Aristotle, the satisfaction and believability of a story is tied up with it being motivated effectively. Eg. “Cold and hungry, I left the cave and caught a rabbit for breakfast. The wind was picking up, so I scanned the sky and noted the gathering clouds. Storms in the mountains could be dangerous, so I would need to seek shelter.”

The inclusion of motivational links takes the “episodes” related earlier and makes them plausible and part of a unified whole. This story is one of survival against the elements. It is about something.

Here, Aristotle makes an aside that speaks directly to our present. Good writers will, from time to time, include unmotivated episodic material at the behest of (and to placate) their actors, or studio, or investors. Bad writers do it because they can’t do otherwise.

But what of surprises and twists? According to Aristotle, an action does not have to be predictable to be motivated. In fact, the best actions are surprising when they occur – however, when we look back at them they must appear to have been inevitable (that is, we must be able to see the antecedent causes and motivations that led inevitably to them).

It may be a shocking surprise that the mild mannered wife takes an axe to her husband in the second act, but given his dismissive and insulting behavior, when we look back over their interactions, it should appear thoroughly motivated and plausible.

Next time, we’ll examine Aristotle’s break-down of the key elements of a plot.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Learning from Aristotle – The Poetics of Aristotle Applied to Audio Drama – Part 2 appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

This is a rambling exploration of Aristotle’s guide to understanding and writing drama (as applied to audio drama) that began as a set of personal notes on Artistotle’s little book “The Poetics”, but, as I wrote, turned into a one-sided imaginary address to other writers, who like myself, are interested in figuring out why script-writing professionals from David Mamet to Aaron Sorkin consider it such a masterful guide to the craft.

If you find it a bit preachy or pretentious, I can only apologize and say, yeah, that’s how most of my first drafts look. I’ve rushed to publish it simply to get some content out (with the full realization that, given how busy I am at the moment, any delay at all would result in it never seeing the light of day).

This is only the first part and deals with Aristotle’s introduction to his subject matter. Future articles will go further into depth regarding his theory of script-writing.

TLDR Version

Art is creative imitation. Art forms differ in terms of the medium, object, and manner of this imitation. A painting, for example, is quite different to a play. Unsurprisingly, audio drama is a unique art-form telling human stories (object) through sound, music, and speech (medium) in the form of recordings of scripted and acted play performances designed specifically for the ear (manner). A proper understanding of the unique elements of the form we choose to work in is essential to the successful creation of art.

Dramatic art has a long history that is still evolving, one we ignore (or over-emphasise) at our peril; a point that is as true of audio-drama as any other art-form.

The Poetics of Artistotle applied to Audio Drama (Part 1)

Background

Back in 330 BC Aristotle explained his “theory of Art” to his students in his Poetics. He did so, largely, to refute his great teacher, Plato, who felt that art, being but an imitation of life, had little value because it distorts the world and, being fiction, is a form of deceit – a view that the Puritans would have found themselves whole-heartedly in agreement with.

Aristotle, however, saw things differently. He saw the way art imitates life as essentially redeeming and justified.”

The Poetics” isn’t a particularly long or difficult read, but it does refer to some things (familiar enough once you see what they are) in language and terminology that differ in meaning and usage today. So a little background is in order.

According to Aristotle, art imitates life, and imitation is the key to learning. As children we learn by imitating those around us. Language is acquired as we imitate the sounds made by adults. Moral character is learned as we imitate and enact the behaviour of others. In fact, according to the Greeks, learning doesn’t take place fully until it is expressed in action. That is, the Greeks did not consider head-knowledge to be knowledge at all. In Greek culture knowledge had to be applied, practically, before it could be considered “truly” learned.

That said, experience did not have to be first hand for learning to occur. It was possible to share in the experience that made learning real by watching it (or perhaps, by listening to it – if we try to apply this idea to the realm of audio).

By imitation, Aristotle didn’t see the role of art as being to provide exact imitations of life from which the audience might learn, rather he saw art as a genuinely creative process in which the distortions of real life that art was capable of, could be harnessed, shaped, and directed for positive effect.

For the Greeks, art was NOT entertainment. Art, while entertaining, served another purpose entirely, and one that we do not easily comprehend in the modern world.Greece, in particular Athens, was a fairly brutal culture. While free (by ancient standards) and inclusive in its decision making (having a form of democracy) it was also a violent and conquering power. It held up cold (even ruthless) logic as the social ideal and viewed emotion (especially pity and compassion) as something to be put aside as dangerous and antithetical to the completion of one’s civic duty.

Once a year, during a festival, the people of Athens would gather to watch plays produced in a competition. These plays were intended to teach important civic values and the winner would be presented with a wreath in recognition of their service to the community. According to Aristotle, along with fulfilling this overtly preachy purpose, plays functioned also as a means of exciting and ridding the populace of unwanted emotions (such as pity and fear) that had no place in the fulfilment of civic duty. By allowing them to be experienced via proxy, the audience could safely vent these “unhealthy” emotions without allowing them to impact life in the real world.

While this made a kind of cruel sense in the Greek world, it’s certainly not the case that art is limited to, or even expected to perform, this function in the modern world. We often enjoy art for its own sake, as a form of expression and entertainment to be admired simply because it is there. Aristotle’s ideas regarding catharsis and purgation, therefore, have little to say to us today (being more or less nonsense), however many of his other ideas are particularly useful to the audio dramatist.

Of particular interest to the modern writer is Aristotle’s differentiation between tragedy and comedy. To understand Aristotle properly we must recognise that comedy meant much the same in his time as it does in our own (the depiction of the ridiculous and humorous), but that tragedy refers fundamentally to EVERYTHING else (ALL serious drama that is not intended to exaggerate for the sake of a laugh or that has as its primary object presenting the ridiculous or absurd).It’s my intention to work through Aristotle’s little pamphlet and draw out the insights he has found that have stood the test of time, hopefully discovering, in the process, why so many writers refer to “The Poetics” as a master work of instruction in the creation of stage drama and how those principles might be applied to the writing of audio drama.

Before I do, however, I feel like I need to say one more thing. Aristotle comes across like a boring elderly professor, all “let’s define our terms” and “this thing can be broken into twenty-seven subcategories that we will discuss in detail”. Working through his book, short though it is, can be a little daunting as a result. I think it’s worth the effort, though, especially if we apply what we are learning as we go.So, without further ado…

POETICS BOOK I

Introduction

Aristotle starts by telling us his purpose, he intends to analyse the types and parts of storytelling (particularly the plot) that are on display in Athens. At this time, poetry was a performance art, one that told stories in the form of plays, songs, and narrative recitals – a subset of the fine arts that included music, painting, sculpture etc. Abstraction was not really something that the Greeks had a concept for – though they did use patterns on their pottery that were simply decoration.It also appears to be the case that written stories were only just emerging and presented a particular problem for Aristotle in deciding how to classify them.

The Medium Of Imitation

To help determine how he would classify the different kinds of arts, Aristotle settled on the unifying concept of imitation (that is, if it is art, it imitates life in some way) but that this imitation differs in manner, medium, and object (remember what I said about his being overly fond of definitions). For example a painting might represent real world things (like bowls of fruit and goblets of wine – the objects), using paint, color, light, and canvas (the medium), applied via brush strokes (the manner). A play might, likewise, represent people in argument (the objects), using language, movement, music (the medium), delivered by the acting out of the play on stage before an audience (the manner) with the aid of script, set, props, etc.

According to Aristotle, different forms of dramatic story-telling (treating of objects and manner in diverse ways) have a tendancy to be expressed in three specific media (movement, language, and music – singly and in combination).Aristotle wasn’t quite sure of how to classify the emerging art-form of textual narrative, but does deal with that category later). For now, he focuses on classifying the play. He suggests that plays involve language (of course), movement (rhythm) and harmony (song/music).

For our purposes, it is helpful to think about how an audio/radio play is to be categorised in general. I say “in general” because exceptions always exist.

So let’s engage in a little classification exercise with regard to our own focus of attention (the radio play). A radio play uses the following media; language (dialog and narration), sound effects, and music to communicate the story – with volume acting as a spotlight to direct our attention to what is most important. The manner of delivery is via an auditory, edited, recording (or live performance) of the (vocally) acted out events – enhanced with and supported by sound-effects and given emotional depth by music – and listened to by an audience that takes this input and constructs the story in their minds. The objects are the characters and their situations. Not all elements must be present in all cases, but enough must be present for the thing to be recognized as a play for the ears.

There is a lot here to unpack, and all of it impacts the final form that an audio-drama takes.An audio drama is not, strictly speaking, a full cast audio book. In this day and age, where discoverability is so significant, the suggestion that audio books, if they employ a full cast and sound-effects in the reading, are functionally identical to audio drama is plainly false. For those who produce the niche form that is audio drama, having audio-books invade their space and reduce and impede their chances of being found by actual audio-drama enthusiasts is a never-ending source of frustration.

An audio drama is not a book reading, neither is it a stage play. It has characteristics that are uniquely its own, though it does borrow or share elements with these other categories.An audio-drama is, firstly, a play for the ears. In it some characters, perhaps with the aid of a line or two of narration, act out a story in dialog. The action of the story is revealed through dialog and (limited) narration. It is illustrated with supporting sound effects and music may also accompany the story to support and enhance the emotional response of the audience.

It differs from the stage play in that none of the action is seen. It all takes places in the mind of the listener. It differs from a book reading in that the action is heard directly and constructed in the minds of the audience via character actors, without long sections of description. Short prompts in the form of narration or clues to setting are provided in the scene, but the heavy lifting of scene construction is left entirely up to the audience member. It is this reliance on the audience (without overt descriptive assistance) that separates the telling of stories from the audio-dramatization of the same.

Before concluding this discussion of the first part of Aristotle’s poetics, it is worth discussing poetic rhythm. Poem’s and plays were delivered, largely, in rhyme. It appears that plays grew out of choral songs in Greek society, rather than story-telling around the campfire. As a result, rhythm (or meter) is a significant element of Aristotle’s discussion and analysis. That English speech has a certain rhythm to it is beyond dispute. How a writer might use these rhythms to advance the story is a thing which will need some unpacking, later, however.

POETICS BOOK II

The Objects of Imitation

In this second part to Aristotle’s analysis he treats, briefly, of characters. According to Aristotle, drama is necessarily about characters. He refers to characters as “men in action”. But effectively, he means any characters with human traits. Whether gods or monsters, or oracles, (or anthropomorphised household objects in the Disney sense) characters in stories must, necessarily, be in action. They must want something and act to achieve it, even if what they want is to be left alone in order to do nothing.

It’s worth noting that in audio-drama, as in any form of drama, characters in action are crucial. No behaviour should ever be unmotivated and no driving motivation should be left un-acted upon. This is one of the keys to making our characters authentic and relatable.

It is also the case that a character’s motivation must be known to the audience (even if it is only known through sub-text). A character who acts in a senseless or unmotivated manner will always lack authenticity, as will a character who fails to act on, or acts contrary to, a driving (or significant) motivation that is known to the audience. In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, the titular character’s dithering inaction is authentic because we understand it to be motivated by a desire to avoid confrontation and discomfort.

In typically Aristotelian fashion, Aristotle seeks to describe and categorise the things he is studying. In this case, characters (“men in action”) fall into three groups; those who are better (more noble and/or morally “good”) than we are, those who are as we are (having both strengths and weaknesses), and those who are worse (more foolish and/or morally “bad”) than we are. As usual, this is more a spectrum than a distinct set of classes without overlap. At the outer edges lie the caricatures (the “Dudley Do-rights” and the moustache twirling villains) but as we move a little towards the center, heroes begin to demonstrate flaws and villains begin to demonstrate redeeming features, while in the middle our “heroes” and “villains” may be all but indistinguishable, having “strengths” and “weaknesses” in equal measure. While tragedy and comedy (as Aristotle understood them) can draw on any of these types, he tended to see comedy as drawing primarily upon characters who are worse than we are, and serious drama (tragedy) as drawing on characters who are the same or better than we are.

This focus on the moral nature of characters is a little surprising to the modern thinker, but makes sense in the context of Ancient Greek society and its insistence that plays serve a civic purpose.

For the audio dramatist, the division is somewhat arbitrary. Exaggerated and foolish characters lend themselves to comedy, true, but the ability of an audience to relate to and identify with characters increases the further towards the middle of the spectrum characters are placed. Perfectly good, or capable characters (the dreaded “Mary Sue”) are the bane of engaging story-telling. Likewise, the unambiguously evil, or incapable character comes across as a caricature and leaves the audience unconvinced and unmoved by the action of the story.

Of more importance is the principle that characters must be in action (even if that action is a motivated desire to do nothing) and that characters must act according to motivations that the audience can recognize and relate to – the only, possible, exception to this would be where a character is sufficiently alien that we wish to emphasise its “unfathomable and alien nature” as lying beyond human understanding. Even here, however, great caution needs to be exercised, or the character becomes farcical. Better to give an alien being an understandable motivation (for example hunger) and bend it a little, than to present something too off the wall (such as a desire to merge with the color blue, or a tendency to lick people’s ankles every 17th of June).

POETICS BOOK III

The Manner of Imitation

Book, play, song, poem, (and today film, television, and audio-drama) are all means of delivering these imitations of life that we understand to be stories. Aristotle points out that books are different to plays. In a prose work, the author chooses who’s voice to address the reader with (his own, perhaps, or that of one of his characters). In a play numerous voices are employed and the action is made visual. In a radio drama, the voices are numerous and the action is made audible. Unlike the stage play (in which each performance is a varied and unique experience, even if performed night after night) the radio play is usually recorded and can be experienced over and over. The emphasis on rendering the action of the play through sound requires some unique understandings that do not necessarily apply as completely to other forms of art.

In film and on stage for example, the action, generally, occurs in front of the audience and the sounds support this. Any sounds are explicable. They are provided to add verisimilitude (realism) but require little explanation because we can generally see what the sound applies to.

In audio drama, however, sound is, while occasionally self-explanatory, typically quite ambiguous. The crackle of cellophane can be “read” by the audience as a crackling fire, a foot stepping on dry twigs, rain falling, or a sweet-wrapper being opened, to list just a few possibilities.

The more ambiguous nature of sound as compared with sight (and also as compared with the long narrative descriptions of a novel) makes clarity harder to achieve. And a lack of clarity breaks the immersion that is so central to the effectiveness of audio-drama.

I’ve written elsewhere in detail about immersion, sound, music, dialog, casting, and narration. If you’re interested in these matters (and they do, after all, contribute to a proper understanding of the elements that make audio-drama a distinct form of Imitation in the Aristotelian sense) the following articles may be of use…

1. The Deaf Writer’s Guide to Sound and Silence in Audio Drama
2. In Defense of (limited) Narration
3. How to increase engagement in Audio Drama by Writing Less
4. Tips for Keeping Your Audio Drama From Being Forgotten – Memory and Audience Focus
5. How to Decide on the Optimal Cast size for your Scripts.

PART IV

A Short History of Drama

This has turned into a longer discussion than I originally intended, but I do want to have a quick look at Aristotle’s discussion of the history and origin of story-telling in the Greek context before we complete Part 1.

As noted previously, for Aristotle, art is a form of imitation. He places the origin of the impulse to imitate, unsurprisingly, in human nature. Children, especially, learn through the imitation of things in the wider world (particularly their parents), and adults likewise do the same, though not with the same alacrity or delight necessarily. Aristotle points out that imitations of things delight us and give us pleasure. We see a particularly beautiful painting, or hear a particularly exemplary song, and we take pleasure in it. Even things which are frightening to experience in reality – war or spiders – can be enjoyed if experienced as a representation (a painting or picture or story).

Also as noted in the introduction, Aristotle saw plays as an outgrowth of song, which in turn grew out of fireside story telling. It’s long been known that pre-literate societies (which the Greeks were well in advance of) used rhythm and rhyme as a way of aiding the memory in the learning and transmitting of stories. In Europe, fairy and folk tales were passed down in pre-literate societies using patterns of language, etc. to aid in their remembering. Songs are remembered far longer and with more accuracy than any teacher’s lecture ever delivered.

As he explains it, the history of dramatic story telling is one in which the telling of stories became a matter of religious ritual, song and dance, performed by a group. At some point (Aristotle attributes the innovation to Aeschylus) actors began stepping out of this chorus to deliver lines. While at another (this time attributed to Sophocles) backdrops and props began to be used. The rhymes themselves began to be delivered in different rhythms (originally delivered in trochaic tetrameter – a rhythm suited to dance – but shifting to the iambic – a rhythm more closely approximating speech).

For millennia, verse was the primary means of delivering dialog in a play. Shakespeare used Iambic Pentameter for his noble characters (though the non-nobles spoke in a much more normal fashion). In deference to the Greek use of masks and archetypes, characters were often simplified caricatures, though throughout human history, uniquely human characters were being drawn by playwrights. The modern era of realistic dialog and characters was an innovation brought to us, not that long ago, by Henrik Ibsen and others of the “realist” school.

Aristotle had the good sense, born out by history, to understand that the dramatic form of his day was not necessarily the final “true” form that it would assume.

Those of us involved in the writing and production of audio drama need, likewise, to be wary of adopting a “one true way” attitude to the art. Audio drama is a unique art-form, different from a book and a film, but audio-drama is NOT a complete and proscribed art-form. It will continue to evolve and change, develop and adapt. There will be many expressions of audio-drama and this diversity is both to be expected and to be welcomed. Innovation is one of the signs that an art-form is alive.

A second lesson to be learned here is that Audio drama has a history and we fail to pay attention to that history at our cost. Many audio-dramatists look at the work done in the past with haughty disapproval. Often this is based on ignorance (an egotistical disregard for the past borne of the erroneous belief that we have, in the present, already surpassed it). In other cases, it is more realistic, having been born of exposure to the large amount of sub-standard material that was produced in the factory-like heyday of Old-Time-Radio. The result is that many new entrants in the audio-drama arena waste a lot of time recreating past errors, reinventing already established techniques, and stumbling over problems for which ready solutions already exist (and have existed for a long time).

Our attention to the past must be selective (we need to look at and learn from the masters of the form such as Arch Oboler, the team behind Gunsmoke, Carlton Morse, Norman Corwin, and many others) while also being critical (recognizing the importance of modern pacing, the failures and lazy excesses of the factory-like production system etc.).

Further, we need to be wary of any pre-conceived ideas about how the industry works (or should work). It’s not uncommon for folks to assume that work-for-hire, Hollywood, business models and conventions are the only ones available to those who want to work in the audio-drama space. This is, of course, not the case, as any examination of the history of the art-form will tell you. Investment money may attempt to tie up all manner of rights and one-sided-obligations in exchange for funding, but those rules are not written in stone and a couple of kids with a microphone can still attract the kind of audiences and revenue that the so-called “big-boys” can only dream of.Here are a couple of articles I have written on the importance of Audio drama’s history…

1. The History of Commercial Radio – Audio Drama for Schools Lesson 02
2. Read Scripts to Improve Your Writing

I will close with one last point. Something in the constitution of human beings, something deep within our psychology, predisposes us to enjoy and seek out stories. As well as getting an understanding of the past and present, it is essential for the writer of audio-drama to understand the nature of human psychology and work in cooperation with it to produce stories that most effectively produce delight. Earlier, I listed some articles I have written that discuss the unique way in which audio-drama interacts with the human mind. When we fight or ignore these features of human psychology (much as occurs when we ignore the lessons of the past and present) we fail to achieve the heights of which we and our art-form are capable. Perhaps this is the fundamental reason why a critical examination of a 2000 year old philosopher is worth our time, even today.

Next time, in Part 2, I will begin looking at Aristotle’s understanding the types of drama and the importance of plot.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Learning from Aristotle – The Poetics of Artistotle applied to Audio Drama (Part 1) appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Cliché and curiosity-quenching prose are the twin enemies of the writer of good dialog.  And first drafts are often filled with both. 

Cliché is the Enemy

Because we are saturated with story, conversation, prose, poetry, and music lyrics, etc., our attempts at writing (at least in the first draft) are prone to include dull, conventional, and cliched words and phrases. 

It’s not until someone stands out from the crowd that we notice the extent to which we have been sleep-walking through the culture we consume.

Take music for example.  So many contemporary songs sound the same, using hackneyed sounds and rhythms and lyrics and chord progressions.  It isn’t until someone like Ed Sheeran turns up and shows us something new and original that we realize just what a homogenous soup, the majority of modern music is.

The reason for this is something I have talked about before.  The sheer breadth of our exposure to human speech (in dialog, film, television, song, poetry, lyrics, books, etc.) results in our first thoughts tending towards the conventional.  Our first thoughts tend to reproduce the things we have seen before.  Want a couple to meet for the first time?  We might set the scene in a bar (because that’s where we’ve seen a thousand such scenes set).  It’s the first thought we have.  But if we stop and think about it for a moment, we could set that meeting somewhere far less clichéd; in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, a community center, a parent-teacher conference, a bookshop, or an airplane for example.  Any of these would be a more interesting setting than a bar.

So it is with speech.  We tend to choose familiar phrases like “at the end of the day”, “the bottom line”, “out of the frying pan” and so many others.  Where we do so, we’ve rendered our writing more inclined to put our audience to sleep than hold their attention.  The mind of the average audience member tends flow over familiar phrases without ever really paying attention to them.

Therefore, one of the writer’s first tasks is to eliminate cliché by digging a little deeper in search of original ways to express themselves; original words and phrases that raise questions for the reader.

Raising Questions

Curiosity is the writer’s best friend.  We maintain reader interest through an exercise in successive set-up and payoff, raising questions (even at the level of sentence structure) to keep the audience engaged and eager to find out what will happen next.

What follows are some thoughts and tips on crafting dialog to maintain interest and avoid cliché.

Three levels of Dialog

Dialog represents three areas of personality coming out into the open – expressing the surface (literal) meaning of words, expressing an unspoken intention or the (intended) meaning behind the words, and expressing what the character cannot say (even to themselves); the unspoken (unintended) meaning of the words.

Context provides the keys to understanding the subtext or meaning behind a line and we increase the density of our dialog (a very good thing) where we find ways to layer in multiple levels of meaning.

Take the following exchange…

JENNY: “You didn’t stack the dishwasher?  Again?”

JOHN:  “So?”

SOUND:  Plates fall with a crash.

SOUND:  FOOTSTEPS (HIGH HEELS) RUSH TO THE DOOR.  DOOR SLAMS.

JENNY: (DISTANT, MUFFLED, SOBBING)

Jenny’s line indicates, at the literal level, that the dishwasher hasn’t been stacked, but also communicates her meaning that John should be helping out but is, instead, taking her for granted.  Unspoken (even to herself) is another level of meaning – “You don’t love me!” – one that John’s heartless “so?” brings to the surface.

Three Types of Sentence and their Impact

Dialog is either front-loaded with meaning and elaborated upon, or backloaded with meaning, creating suspenseful sentences, or loaded with meaning at a middle point (doing a little of both).

JASPER: Dorothy sounded sour.  Sour and angry and a little self-pitying. 

Here we are given the meaning upfront and then that meaning is elaborated upon.  As a structure, if the opening idea of the sentence is sufficiently startling (a “hook”) then the audience is carried along by the elaboration and expansion upon that idea.  Sour is a great “impact” word.  It’s close enough to bitter, but not as familiar and overused.

WENDY: Like venom.  Like the poison from a snakebite, making its way through a wound.  Subtle at first, but slowly paralyzing its victim as it makes its way to the heart.  Always fatal.  That’s what a conversation with Dorothy is like.

In this phrase, the audience is dragged along by curiosity.  We want to know who this phrase refers to.  The revelation that gives the phrase its meaning comes at the end.

BENNY: “‘Curdled’ was all I could think, “like the offer of a glass of warm milk spiked with lemon juice”.  Dorothy’s voice scraped at my nerves, mid-way between a whine and an accusation, despite her winsome looks and harmless demeanor.”

In this phrase the revelation comes in the middle, and is accompanied by an explanatory elaboration; an attempt to achieve both effects (suspense and elaboration) is present.

Hook Words

Note that a hook word or image is usually present also.  Something to grab at our attention that doesn’t put us to sleep with how commonplace and predictable it is; something that also raises a question for the reader.  This is set up and pay-off at work in the realm of sentence construction.  A question is raised; “in what way does Dorothy sound ‘sour’?”; “what is like ‘venom’?”; and “just what is it that is ‘curdled’?”.  Each of these questions is paid off within a sentence or two, resolving the tension of the setup sentence.

The selection of the startling word and turn of phrase (those lines from films, plays, audio dramas, and novels that we love to quote) is an art for which a few rules can be found helpful.  When crafting dialog, select words that grab attention.  Use unusual rather than commonplace (forgettable) words.  Say “her words were sour” rather than that “she sounded bitter”.  Words that awaken the senses are always stronger and create a bigger impact than words that are merely descriptive.  Analogies, similes, and metaphors are also more impactful than merely descriptive words.  The phrase, “like the offer of a glass of warm milk spiked with lemon juice”, is more impactful than “she looks sweet but says mean things”.

Adaptation

For those who adapt stories, be aware that many of the best lines are contained in the narration rather than the dialog.  Prose writers tend to reserve the best lines and observations for their descriptions and narrative flourishes.  The dialog, resultantly, tends to be fairly boring by comparison.  As such, when adapting, look for ways to spice up the dialog (perhaps by putting the best lines from the narration into the mouths of the characters.

Timing the Powerful Phrase I

When should we use a startling or memorable phrase?  Generally, “less is more” so you want to reserve your best lines for moments that have the greatest dramatic impact.  Where every line is equally attention-grabbing, fatigue sets in, and nothing appears important anymore.  The opening, closing, and climax of the scene are obvious candidates for the placement of your best lines.

Examples

Opening lines…

GEORGE:  (ROAR OF RAGE) Which one of you lime-suckin’ hillbillies killed my dog?  One o’ you turned him into crow’s meat.  What for?  Huh?  He never did anything to any o’ you.

Closing lines…

SADIE: When you’re done with your meal, Walt, you’re gonna go up to our room and pack your bag.

WALT: Oh yeah? Why do you think I’ll do that?

SADIE: ‘Cause if you don’t, I’m gonna take a carving knife to you in the middle of the night.  I mean it.  And you’ll wish that truck had run you over and turned you into ground tomatoes and beef.  And don’t think I won’t relish it.  I’ll be like one o’ those rich gals sipping at their fancy drinks.  Just sipping and listening to your screams.

WALT: (SNORTS).  You finally grown a spine, huh?  (DEFEATED) Alright, I’m going, but I’ll skin you for this Sadie.  Skin you and turn you into a saddle blanket.  That’s what I’ll do.  You’ll see.

Climax…

TIMMY – I saw it.  And I wouldn’t believe it neither, ‘cept I saw it myself.  And Chelsea was smiling.  Smiling the whole time.  You’ve gotta believe me, it was her.  Covered in gore all the way to her armpits, laughing like she just won at musical chairs, and swinging that knife like the baton in an orchestra.

To introduce a scene with an attention-grabbing line acts as a hook to pull your audience into the scene.  To land a strong line at the end of a scene pays the scene off for the audience, leaving them satisfied and ready to continue forward (especially if it sets up a new question to be answered in the next scene). 

Timing the Powerful Phrase II

Emotional turning points and key revelations within the scene are also great candidates for the delivery of a strong line, adding memorability and impact to a moment in which the author deliberately seeks to emotionally affect the audience.

Examples

Emotional Turn…

TOM:   Hey everyone, I’ve got something to say.  Emily, come up here, sweetie.  That’s it.  Um, I’ve got some news.  (TO CROWD) Yeah, you guessed it, Emily has agreed to become my wife.

SOUND:           APPLAUSE

TOM:   So… Em?  Got anything to say?

SOUND:           (LOUD) SLAP INTO SHOCKED SILENCE FOR A BEAT.

EMILY: You’re a pig disease, Tom Franks.  A pig disease on the skin of this community that won’t ever heal over.  I hate you.  I’m leaving.

SOUND:           FOOTSTEPS RUN AWAY

SOUND:           SHOCKED MURMURING FROM GUESTS

Key Revelation…

DOCTOR HARGREAVES:  We spend decades learning to do what we do.  And we’re only ever one malpractice suit away from having to start again.  That you’d throw in your lot with the muck-rakers and ambulance chasers, tells me all I ever needed to know.  You’re not my son.

Economy of Language

The sentences in the examples so far have all been a bit wordy. Long sentences are my personal kryptonite; I take way too long to say things.  Taking out unnecessary words and leaving only what is essential to convey the character’s meaning is an incredibly important skill for the audio drama writer (and one, because it is a personal weakness of mine, I am forced to work on every day).  Unnecessary repetition, overuse of adverbs, using six words where one would do, confused and unclear sentences…  These sins must be struck out through careful editing.  Editing can be the removal of dialog, but sometimes it’s the rearrangement of the same.  At other times again, it requires an entire rewrite.

Look at the key revelation example above.  Doctor Hargreaves’ line (like most of the lines I have used in these examples) is too long and cumbersome to feel authentic.

We could rewrite the line to be a bit more efficient as follows…

DOCTOR HARGREAVES: Despite years of sweat, I’m only one malpractice suit away from losing everything.  The ambulance chasers don’t care. All they see are the dollars, but you know better.  (BEAT) But you still took their side.  (BEAT) You’re not my son.

It might not be perfect, but it is markedly improved.  It’s more personal.  The accusation against the son is clearer.  The last two lines are short, accusatory and final.

Beware, however, of stripping out the characterization in search of a more efficient phrase.

“I didn’t do nothing, missus. Honest” may be less efficient than “I did nothing, missus”, but the character of the speaker is lost when the dialog is pared back this far.

Silence and the Pause

Silence is the final element of dialog I want to discuss today.  The audio dramatist doesn’t have any visuals to engage in the heavy lifting except those they invent themselves.  As such, body language, facial expression, posture, etc. are unavailable to help communicate the story.  Everything must be communicated through voice and tone (what Artistotle referred to as diction).  Diction is more truly the actor’s preserve than the writer’s, so I won’t spend much time on it here.  However, it’s important to remember that meaning can be leveraged through tone of voice and vocal expression to indicate all manner of heightened emotional states, some congruent with the words being spoken (encouraging trust) while others are incongruent (sarcasm, etc.).  These, however, are matters of performance.

With regard to the text itself, there is one more feature of dialog worth mentioning; the pause.

NARRATOR:    The pause, (BEAT) dear listener, can be as eloquent as any raised eyebrow or frown.

Pauses can emphasize the drama, express confusion, suggest cold disdain, or express shock, etc.  In audio drama, the pause has traditionally been indicated by the bracketed (BEAT) notation (as per the narrator example above).

Conclusion

To be an effective writer, not every line needs to be a zinger.  But delivered at judicious moments of high dramatic impact, especially if the line represents multiple levels of communication, strewn with occasional and appropriate pauses, and edited with care, an original line of dialog, or turn of phrase, can turn an otherwise ordinary play into something both quotable and memorable.

Copyright Philip Craig Robotham © 2021 .

The post Word Choices for Audio Dramatists appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.