I recently attended a fantastic online class where I was challenged to think about techniques that can convey exposition in audio drama. My lack of answers at the time got me thinking specifically about how (and whether) to communicate a character’s appearance.
The Power of Visual Storytelling
Unfair, though it may be, the way someone looks often creates certain beliefs and assumptions about that person in those they encounter. The effect of clothing and appearance is undeniably powerful. The guy covered in tattoos, leaning against a wall wearing a wife-beater and flip-flops, gives a particular impression. The woman with sweat rings under her arms, rollers in her hair, and a cigarette hanging from her lips as she goes down the grocery aisle gives another. But these impressions are visual. Should they, or even can they, be communicated in audio-drama?
There is a magic to visual storytelling. The famous anecdote about Billy Wilder rewriting a multi-page argument between a married couple (intended to demonstrate that the couple are having marital problems) into a single visual scene in an elevator (the couple are holding hands, a pretty girl gets into the elevator, the husband smiles and – with his free hand – tips his hat, the wife lets go of her husband’s hand and takes a step away) is a master-class in visual story-telling. But audio-dramas are not a visual medium. Is it possible to harness visual imagery to achieve this kind of efficiency of story-telling and communication of character in audio? And if so, how?
Describing what we can see – some guidelines
I’m not sure I’ve been terribly successful, but I’ve been experimenting with this and have come to the conclusion that, to a degree, it is still possible to harness the power of images verbally in audio. But, that said, there are strong and unsurprising constraints upon their use.
When trying to harness the power of appearances, the visual characteristics we wish to focus on should be few. In audio drama, the stage is the mind of the listener. The brain creates visual representations of our characters in the imagination instantly, as soon as the voice is heard. It will happily update those images as details are added, but the heavy lifting of character design is performed primarily by the listener, embellished through sound and dialog. If one character asks to borrow another’s watch, the watch will appear in the listener’s imagination even though none had appeared before – and what’s more, for the listener, it will always have been there. Because of this, three or four such embellishments are all that is needed. In choosing the visual features that we wish to emphasize, it is best to make them active rather than passive. Use verbs to describe them and ensure they aren’t so much features that a character has, but features that enable or contribute to a character’s action. Further, it is best to include features that prompt an emotional reaction (disgust, admiration, etc.). Lastly, a good simile can add extra weight to even the most ordinary visual features.
The communication of visual elements in audio drama is always a function of speech, whether dialog or narration and as such the guidelines that apply to any type of exposition apply here also. Brevity is key. You don’t want your description to slow down the pace of your story. It needs to be strictly utilitarian – you want it to seed the listener’s imagination and no more. If it tries to take center stage, it will distract from what your listeners came for; the story.
Where possible the visual elements should provide contrast – they should, like the ending of a good story, be both surprising and inevitable. The contrast should cause surprise but seem to belong – like the knife a homeless woman keeps in her tangled hair to fight off would-be rapists as she tries to survive on the street.
The features you choose to highlight should also establish the tone and personality of your character, demonstrating that they are unconventional or conservative, that they are comic or tragic, etc. If the feature doesn’t say something very specific about the character, it is unnecessary and should be cut.
Another point should be made. The features you reveal should provoke curiosity with purpose. They should raise questions for the listener and point to something of significance about the character’s personality or behavior. Why is her left hand gloved? What is she going to do with the sapling she always carries with her? Why is there a tattoo of an eye in a pyramid on the back of her neck? If the details don’t contribute to keeping the audience engaged with the story, they should be dropped. Also, when you spotlight a visual element, you are making a promise to the audience that the element is significant. You must pay off on why it matters at some point – and the answer can’t be “because I wanted to be mysterious” – at least it can’t if you want to avoid leaving your audience feeling cheated.
Again, don’t be generic. If you are going to go to the trouble of highlighting an element of a character’s appearance, then make sure it is something that stands out. Your listeners will clothe your business man in a generic suit for you. They won’t add the yellow smiley face button on his lapel. If you mention it, make sure it stands out as something the audience hasn’t already pictured.
Lastly, there is no necessity to add all the details at once. So long as you don’t contradict yourself, you can introduce elements of your characters’ appearance slowly and over time without creating confusion. This helps you to keep things brief and only reveal what is needed at any given moment to support the story.
Examples – Good and Bad
We’ve all seen examples of terrible writing (and if we’re honest, we’ve all written them). Take the lines below…
JAMES: Hi Karen. As you know, the blue in your evening gown really matches your eyes. And those matching stilettoes you’re wearing go perfectly with the daffodil handbag you’re holding with your left hand.
Lines like these are so well known as to be a common punchline among audio writers. And the advice which helps us avoid them, is almost equally cliché. Don’t have a character announce what is readily obvious to those with whom they speak – or, to put it differently, never have a character speak a line only for the sake of the audience.
It’s always better to ensure one character has a reason to describe the appearance of another.
In this example, one character describes a character for someone who has never seen him.
JOHN: I’m looking for David Harper. Seen him?
BARKEEP: Sure, he’s in the back. You can’t miss him.
JOHN: Why? What’s he look like?
BARKEEP: Suit so white it glows, face pushed in like a pug, falls soft about the middle… and jittery.
JOHN: Jittery?
BARKEEP: Yeah. Sweats and twitches… like a ferret under a sunlamp.
In this example, a character comments on himself, hopefully in a way that is natural in its situational context.
MARTY: I can’t let you in, John.
JOHN: Hey, be nice Marty. I made an effort and put on matching socks just for the occasion.
MARTY: I still can’t let you in. The boss wouldn’t like it. You ain’t even wearing a tie.
JOHN: Yeah, yeah. I’m still wearing yesterday’s suit. But there’s one part o’ my wardrobe that’s gonna impress the boss no end.
MARTY: Yeah? What’s that?
JOHN: See the tomato juice under what’s left o’ this jacket?
MARTY: Uh-huh.
JOHN: That’s Tony Zambino’s blood. When your boss hears I took care of Zambino for him, he’s gonna throw me a parade. This rumpled suit won’t matter a bit.
Visual description can be provided via external narration (so long as its quick).
NARRATOR: A pusher stumbles into the downstairs bar. Stoned eyes watch him from deep inside a squat, lumpy body that oozes more than rises from its seat in the corner.
NORTON: (WHINING) Got anything to help me get well, Mitch? Anything at all?
If the description is quick enough and gives way to attention-grabbing dialog, most listeners will have forgotten it before they even register that it came to them as narration.
And of course, characters can do their own narration…
JOHN: (NARRATING) She walked into my office – a seventy-six-year-old package of deeply tanned rawhide stretched over too much bone, crammed into a too-small dress that would have made a streetwalker blush.
MRS. ENTICOTT: Don’t just stare, dolt! Find me John Falwell.
In Summary
To sum up, it’s important to focus on just a few memorable visual traits that the listener can fix in his/her mind, but the real aim is to communicate character. The traits mentioned should help the listener build a mental image of the character and their behavior that will last long after the scene is complete. To do this, the picture must be compelling, memorable, active, and evocative. Characters are what they do, and the elements of their appearance that they can and can’t control affect the audience’s sense of who they are, particularly when demonstrated through behavior.
We can also drip feed the visual information in the dialog. A neat feature of the human brain is its ability to add elements to an image it creates without confusion so long as the new information doesn’t contradict the old. The ability of the brain to add in details for itself means that seeding a handful of key details into the dialog is all that is needed to create effective images in the listener’s mind.
DETECTIVE BILL JAMES: Is that her?
GROCERY STORE MANAGER: Yeah, that’s her. And she’s filled one of our shopping carts with her rags.
BILL: Thanks
SOUND: MALE FOOTSTEPS – ESTABLISH AND UNDER
BILL: (APPROACHING WENDY AND BLURTING) Whoa. You stink!
HOMELESS WENDY: Shut yer ‘ole. An’ what’s it to yer ‘ow I smell?
BILL: (EMBARASSED) Sorry, it’s just…
WENDY: (IGNORING BILL) So I ‘aven’t changed me singlet in a few days. So what? I’m on me way to the Laundromat after this, ain’t I? (TAKES A DRAG FROM A CIGARRETTE)
BILL: That’s a lot of clothes…
WENDY: (EXHALES) I ‘aven’t ‘ad much in the way o’ coin lately. ‘s built up. (BEAT) You gonna get outta my way or what?
BILL: Alright, sorry. And I think one of your curlers has fallen loose.
WENDY: Nosey Parker, ain’t ya? Copper, I’m guessing. Educated too. Buttons done up all the way to the top. I ‘ope that tie strangles yer to death.
BILL: Hey! Watch where you’re throwing those cigarette butts.
WENDY: Just keep outta my way, sonny. I eat them as is too nosey for breakfast.
BILL: Thing is though, one of your mates said they saw you with a shirt covered in blood after Harry Bing got stabbed. I’m going to have to look through your cart.
WENDY: Bloody coppers. Always pryin’ into other folks’ business.
So, yeah. Visual elements can be included in an audio script to help bring characters to life. You need to be sure you need them but, like any tool in our toolkit, for the right job they can do great work. Experiment and see what works for you
By Philip Robotham, Copyright 2021.
