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Scarlet – Episode 3 – The Warren

Philip Robotham — Fri, 07 Oct 2016 22:45:27 +0000

Below we present the complete text of The Warren, episode 3 (and final) of Scarlet.

Gaslamp Mystery – GM004 – Scarlet

ACT 3

SCENE 10: INT. — THE GHOUL WARREN — DAYBREAK (YOUNG HOLMES, MARTHA)

MUSIC: OPENING THEME – LET IT FINISH.
NARRATOR: Sherlock Holmes’ investigation into the disappearance of Damien Nugent and his fiancee Scarlet Hope has resulted in the kidnapping of his friends, Dr Watson and Martha Hudson. And now, Holmes himself has been kidnapped by a mysterious American Cab Driver and taken, unconscious, to a secret location somewhere in Highgate .
SOUND: [13] (WALLA) SHRIEKS OF GHOULS — FADE IN, ESTABLISH, THEN FADE OUT.
YOUNG HOLMES: [CUE] (GROANS)
MARTHA: Oh yes. Now ’e wakes up! All this time I’ve been tellin’ the other prisoners: “Not to worry, the great Sherlock ’olmes is on the case and e’ll soon find us ’n get things sorted”… ’n then you turn up ’ere as much of a prisoner as the rest of us?
YOUNG HOLMES: You know, Martha, I rather suspect you were waiting a significant amount of time to deliver that chastisement.
MARTHA: Possibly, Mr ’olmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: Do you feel better for it?
MARTHA: Not particularly, no.
YOUNG HOLMES: Then would you mind keeping it down to a dull roar. It’s the second time I’ve been rendered unconscious in twenty-four hours and I have to say it’s given me rather a pounding headache. (BEAT) Do you happen to know where we are?
MARTHA: I’m in the dark as much as you, Mr ’olmes — if you’ll pardon the pun. Underground, of a certainty, but where I couldn’t tell you.
YOUNG HOLMES: Hmmm. The clay in the walls is instructive. I would hazard we are most likely under Highgate Cemetery. Probably a fair way under if the caterwauling of the ghouls is anything to go by.
MARTHA: I ’ave to agree with you on that last point. The ruckus they make when they goes to sleep! They’re like the birds. It’d wake the dead if’n we weren’t buried so far beneath ’em.
YOUNG HOLMES: Is Watson here?
MARTHA: Yes! But ’e’s in a bad way. The monsters have a sense about weak targets. Ruddy cowards! They singled Dr Watson out fer special treatment right from the start.
YOUNG HOLMES: Have they eaten him?
MARTHA: No. Not yet. They just enjoy tormentin’ ’im. I’m sure ’e’s fer the larder eventually, but there’s plenty to choose from down ’ere — nearly fifty prisoners in all. But many of the prisoners seem tagged fer conversion.
YOUNG HOLMES: What do you mean?
MARTHA: I’ve seen two people turned already. ’alf starved they were ’n suddenly they started twitchin’ and cryin’ and then they changed and turned into ghouls.
YOUNG HOLMES: Someone’s deliberately trying to expand the population, create a ghoul colony under London.
MARTHA: I figured as much as well. Some of us are for the pot; the weak and the small, or the old. But those of us ’oo are young and strong are bein’ kept for the change.
YOUNG HOLMES: How does Jefferson Hope figure into all this?
MARTHA: ’oo’s ’e?
YOUNG HOLMES: The large American cabbie. He would have been the one to drop me off.
MARTHA: Oh ’im. ’e’s a queer one, ’e is. The ghouls seem to leave ’im alone. ’e feeds ’em, see. ’n one in particular. She seems to be ’is special pet.
YOUNG HOLMES: A girl, or she was before she took the change? About seventeen years old?
MARTHA: ’ow’d you know that?
YOUNG HOLMES: Just some small pieces of the puzzle falling into place. The first person to go missing was Mr Hope’s daughter. She’d returned from Paris where she had been sent to see a specialist because of a sudden illness to which she had succumbed. Whether this illness was the beginning stages of the change or whether she was turned in Paris I’m not prepared to guess. However, when she returned it was clear, to Mr Hope at least, what she had become and he hid her away in Highgate Cemetery, bringing her companions and food — sometimes both — as opportunity arose.
MARTHA: That sounds about right. He comes by twice a day. Once at sunrise — just as they’re all goin’ to sleep — and once at sundown when they’re waking up. He brings body parts — stolen from an ’ospital most likely — from time to time, but also new prisoners, and a steady supply o’ pies for those already in cages.
YOUNG HOLMES: (SHARPLY) You haven’t eaten any, have you?
MARTHA: Cor, no! They smelled rancid. I’d ’ave to be fairly starvin’ to eat that stuff.
YOUNG HOLMES: Thank goodness for that.
MARTHA: Why? What’s the matter with ’em?
YOUNG HOLMES: You’ve not had much to do with ghouls before, have you?
MARTHA: (SCOFFING) What? And you ’ave?
YOUNG HOLMES: I’m not being deliberately insulting, Miss Hudson, it’s just that on this occasion you appear to be failing to join the dots.
MARTHA: Well, I’d ’ate to see you when you were bein’ deliberate about it then. Come on, explain the situation.
YOUNG HOLMES: Alright. I’ll make it plain for you… people are turned into ghouls by feeding on rancid human flesh.
MARTHA: (FEELING SICK) Oh, Lord!
YOUNG HOLMES: Easy, Miss Hudson.
MARTHA: So that’s ’ow they’ve been doin’ it. Feeding the prisoners pies made from… Oh, it’s truly ’orrible.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes. It is. But we must not lose our heads. I believe the solution to this case is now at hand.
MARTHA: What? ’ave you got somethin’ up your sleeve, Mr ’olmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: Several somethings actually. For a start I’ve got my skeleton keys and, if the general decline in caterwauling from the undead is any indication, now, while they are asleep, might be a good time to use them.
MARTHA: (VERY HAPPY) Oh, Mr ’olmes, I never doubted you for a second!
YOUNG HOLMES: And once that’s done, we’ll have to look to cleaning out this nest of the creatures.
MARTHA: They’re uncommonly fast and agile. They don’t like sunlight. And they’re fairly cowardly. But in numbers like this, you’ll need an army to deal with them.
YOUNG HOLMES: Actually, Martha, you’d hit upon the way to deal with them back in the curio shop.
MARTHA: The Cheirosiphon (KI-RO-SI-FON)? But it’s back at the house.
YOUNG HOLMES: Actually, when I realized what we were dealing with I went back to 221B (TWO TWO ONE B) and picked up your little purchase. I also went to the curio shop and picked up the spare. The two of them are wrapped around my body and fully loaded.
MARTHA: Well, Mr ’olmes, I take back what I said earlier. You really ’ave got it sorted, ’aven’t you?
YOUNG HOLMES: I think it remains to be seen. We are not home free yet!
MUSIC: [5] (BRIDGE) OMINOUS SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 11: INT. — THE FINAL CHAMBER OF THE GHOUL WARREN — LATER (ELDER HOLMES, MARTHA, YOUNG HOLMES, DR WATSON)

SOUND: [14] (WALLA) FROM “and setting alight” BY ELDER HOLMES. SOUND OF FLAME AND SHRIEKS OF DYING GHOULS — PLAY UNTIL THE END OF 396 AND FADE UNDER.
ELDER HOLMES: [CUE] And so began a dark night of work. I freed us from the cages with the aid of my skeleton keys and Martha — Miss Hudson as she was then — and I proceeded to move from chamber to chamber freeing prisoners and setting alight the sleeping ghouls, wrapped as they were in the ragged blankets and rags they had collected together to form the nests in which they slept. Their screams were hideous and the streams of Greek Fire that spewed from the weapons we had procured were particularly effective against them. At last we stood over the remains of the young woman who had been, effectively, the primary patient in this outbreak of undead. She had gasped hideously at the end and fallen still.
MARTHA: (PANTING WITH EXERTION) Is that it, Mr ’olmes? ’ave we done with ’em?
YOUNG HOLMES: Not quite. The creatures will regenerate if left to themselves. We’ll need to remove the corpses into the sunlight if they are to be kept from coming back.
MARTHA: That last one was a bit different from the others.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, she didn’t fight against it. In fact she almost looked grateful.
MARTHA: She was ’ope’s daughter. You don’t think the care she was receivin’ ’elped ’er ’ang on to ’er ’umanity?
YOUNG HOLMES: The girl was dead… and whatever humanity she had died with her. But I suppose, like any base creature treated with kindness, she may have been able to respond in kind. I doubt it would have lasted, however. A ghoul’s nature is essentially wild and bestial. There was nothing human left to exert any control over it.
MARTHA: Lor’, where’s Dr Watson. I’d quite forgotten about ’im.
YOUNG HOLMES: We didn’t pass him in any of the other chambers during this grisly business.
MARTHA: Then ’e must be ’ere, or there are some chambers we missed. Take a look over ’ere. This wall is wetter and more damp ’n the others.
YOUNG HOLMES: You’re right. I think we’d best dig.
SOUND: [41] GRUNTS AND SPLASHES OF MUD BEING PULLED FROM WALL AND DUMPED ON GROUND — LET IT FINISH.
MARTHA: ’ere. There is a chamber back there.
DR WATSON: Oh, my Lord! Thank God you found me. It’s so dark… so dark and cold. Help me. Please… help me!
YOUNG HOLMES: He’s in shock. We’d need to carry him out even if his legs were working to begin with.
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 12: EXT. — HIGHGATE CEMETERY — MORNING (YOUNG HOLMES, MARTHA, LESTRADE, PRISONER #1, PRISONER #2)

SOUND: [15] (WALLA) BIRDS, MILD BREEZE BLOWING ETC. MURMUR OF VOICES MILLING ABOUT — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: (COUGHING) My, but it’s good to be out of those tunnels.
MARTHA: Can we put Dr Watson down now? ’e seems to ’ave passed out again?
YOUNG HOLMES: Assuredly.
SOUND: [27] BODY SLUMPING TO GROUND — LET IT FINISH.
LESTRADE: (AT A DISTANCE) There ’e is! Arrest that man!
SOUND: [21] FEET RUNNING TOWARDS HOLMES — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh dear. Lestrade does like to get the wrong end o’ the stick, doesn’t he?
MARTHA: Now, ’old on, Inspector. Mr ’olmes just rescued all these folks.
PRISONER #1: (ALSO AT A DISTANCE) It’s true, Inspector. You can’t arrest Mr Holmes.
PRISONER #2: (ALSO AT A DISTANCE) ’e’s the only reason we’re any of us alive.
YOUNG HOLMES: Inspector, the real kidnapper is a cabbie by the name of Jefferson Hope.
LESTRADE: (APPROACHING) What? Wasn’t ’e the American bloke ’oo reported ’is daughter and young Mr Nugent missing.
YOUNG HOLMES: That’s right. And, if you can keep this out of the papers for a day, he’ll return here this evening with infected food for the prisoners.
LESTRADE: Well, well, Mr ’olmes. It looks like the reputation you’ve bin buildin’ fer yerself is not so exaggerated after all.
YOUNG HOLMES: I’ll take that as a compliment, Inspector, but there is still work to be done here. There are a great many corpses down in the tunnels behind me. They will need to be brought up into the sunlight…
MARTHA: To aid in the identification o’ course.
YOUNG HOLMES: Er, yes. It’s imperative that the work get underway immediately. You’ll be wanting to organize your men for the task right away.
LESTRADE: Right you are, Mr ’olmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: And I’d like to be present when you make the arrest this evening, Inspector. I believe Mr Hope has a confederate. One who may be even more dangerous than he is.
LESTRADE: As you say, Mr ’olmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: A number of those imprisoned in the tunnels were fed contaminated pies. They will need to be taken to a hospital for observation, preferably one which can set up a quarantine and handle infectious diseases. I’ve taken the liberty of listing a couple of suitable locations on this note.
LESTRADE: I see! (IMPATIENTLY) Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr ’olmes? Only I’ve something of a mess to clean up ’ere and I need to be getting along.
YOUNG HOLMES: (OBLIVIOUS TO THE SARCASM) Not a problem, Inspector. That will be all.
LESTRADE: (DEPARTS MUTTERING UNDER HIS BREATH).
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 13: EXT. — HIGHGATE CEMETERY — SUNDOWN (YOUNG HOLMES, LESTRADE, CABBIE, MARTHA)

SOUND: [9] (WALLA) CRICKETS CHIRPING, AN OCCASIONAL OWL ETC. — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
SOUND: [18] HORSE AND CARRIAGE APPROACHING — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: Alright, Inspector. Your man approaches.
LESTRADE: Right, men. Upon ’im. Now! Halt! Halt I say!
CABBIE: What’s going on ’ere?! Jes whut do you varmints think ye’re doing?
LESTRADE: Mr Jefferson ’ope, you are ’ereby under arrest for kidnapping, public endangerment, and murder on numerous counts, under the authority and in the name of the Crown.
CABBIE: What? No! Git yer hands offen me!
YOUNG HOLMES: I’d come along quietly, Mr Hope. It’s all in the open now.
CABBIE: You? ’e warned me you were more dangerous than ye looked.
YOUNG HOLMES: Who warned you? Who have you been workin’ for?
CABBIE: Where’s my daughter? Where’s Scarlet?
YOUNG HOLMES: I’m sorry, but she’s dead! She has been for some time.
CABBIE: No! Let me see her! Please!
LESTRADE: If she’s one of them corpses we brought up earlier today there’s nothin’ left. They all turned to dust in clear light of the sun.
CABBIE: Murderers! Snakes! Yellow-bellied varmints! This is your fault, Holmes. I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you!
MARTHA: He has a knife. Mr ’olmes, look out!
SOUND: [42] A SINGLE GUNSHOT — LET IT FINISH.
SOUND: [27] BODY OF JEFFERSON HOPE FALLS TO THE GROUND — LET IT FINISH.
LESTRADE: I’ll be takin’ that, thank you.
SOUND: [43] SCRAPE OF KNIFE BEING PICKED UP — LET IT FINISH.
LESTRADE: That was well spotted, Miss Hudson. Without your shout he might’ve done for our Mr ’olmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: And a rather good shot on your part, Inspector. Have you killed him?
CABBIE: (GROANS)
LESTRADE: Not quite, but a bullet in the chest at that range means ’e won’t be long for this world.
YOUNG HOLMES: I must speak with him before it’s too late. Jefferson? Can you hear me, Mr Hope?
CABBIE: Whut?
YOUNG HOLMES: Who set you to capturing people off the street? Who was supplying you with those pies?
CABBIE: (GASPING) He’ll kill you, you know? He… already knows all about you… and you don’t… you don’t even know who he is.
YOUNG HOLMES: Don’t be a fool, man. You’re dying. Is this the way you want to go out?
CABBIE: (GASPING) All I ever wanted… was for my Scarlet to get better. Now she’s gone… and it’s your fault. I’ll never help you.
YOUNG HOLMES: Is that so? Then I guess there’s no point in holding back.
CABBIE: (SCREAMS) Aaah!
LESTRADE: Mr ’olmes!
YOUNG HOLMES: (IGNORING LESTRADE) Believe me, Mr Hope, when I tell you that if I can’t stop the madman behind this from trying again I will at the least ensure that your last moments are an experience of extreme pain… like this!
CABBIE: (SCREAMS) Aaah! (SOBBING AND GASPING) No. No more! I’ll tell you. I don’t know ’is name. ’e just goes by the initial “M.” The pie shop… is in back of the abandoned millers on… Carlisle Street. He… he… (GASPS HIS LAST).
YOUNG HOLMES: Did you hear that, Inspector. We must get to Carlisle Street post haste!
MUSIC: [7] (BRIDGE) ACTION SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 14: EXT. — THE BACK OF THE ABANDONED MILLERS IN CARLISLE STREET — LATER (YOUNG HOLMES, LESTRADE, MARTHA)

SOUND: [16] (WALLA) FLAMES, BELLS ETC. — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: It looks like we’re too late. Our quarry has cleared the premises and set it to the match.
LESTRADE: If ’e existed at all.
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh, our mysterious “M” exists alright. The fire should be proof enough of that.
LESTRADE: But, Mr ’olmes. Isn’t it more sensible to assume that the late Mr Jefferson ’ope was simply tryin’ to use ’is last moments to divert suspicion away from ’imself?
YOUNG HOLMES: Don’t be a fool, Lestrade. Sometimes I fear our London Police are too stupid to be allowed.
LESTRADE: Now, steady on!
YOUNG HOLMES: You explain it to him, Miss Hudson. I am too disappointed to bother.
MARTHA: Sorry, Inspector, ’e gets like this. Mr ’ope didn’t have the time or skills to be involved in the manufacture o’ them contaminated pies. ’e had to ’ave a confederate… and since ’ope’s own daughter was sufferin’ from the contamination ’erself, you can be reasonably sure ’e wasn’t the mastermind behind it.
LESTRADE: So ’e really was just a pawn in this?
MARTHA: Looks like. (BEAT) I’d best be getting’ Mr ’olmes back to ’is lodgings. ’e doesn’t like to lose and takes it fairly ’ard when ’e does.
YOUNG HOLMES: (FROM A DISTANCE) Where did you send the infected kidnappees?
LESTRADE: (CALLING BACK) St Bart’s initially. But I’m informed that a chap from Whitehall had them transferred somewhere else.
YOUNG HOLMES: (RAPIDLY APPROACHING) Where?
LESTRADE: Doesn’t say. But the order was signed by a Mr Mycroft Holmes. Any relation?
YOUNG HOLMES: Mycroft? I guess it only makes sense that he’d be keeping a close eye on things like this. Thank you, Inspector. I shan’t be taking up any more of your time.
LESTRADE: Case closed then, Mr ’olmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: It would seem so for now, Inspector.
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 15: INT. — 221B BAKER STREET — LATER (MARTHA, DR WATSON, YOUNG HOLMES, ELDER HOLMES)

MARTHA: [CUE](STRAINING WITH THE EFFORT OF ASSISTING DR WATSON INTO HIS WHEELCHAIR) Well, Dr Watson, you’ll ’ave to forgive me. I’m not used to luggin’ a grown man about. Not for any reason.
DR WATSON: It’s quite alright, Miss Hudson. Just help me into that wheelchair and I’ll get to assisting with the straightening of the premises.
MARTHA: (GRUNTS) There you go, Doctor. Cor! Those monsters surely did make a ruin o’ my ’ouse, didn’t they?
DR WATSON: I fear it’ll be some time before the smell is gone.
MARTHA: And I think it’ll be some time before I’ll be able to sleep without a lamp on. (BEAT) Oh, what a mess! I guess I’ll have to have that hole in the cellar bricked up as soon as may be too.
DR WATSON: Do you think our acquaintance with Mr Holmes is always going to be like this?
MARTHA: It wouldn’t surprise me. I doubt I’ll be getting’ my other tenants back though. And I guess you’ll be wantin’ to move on also, Doctor?
DR WATSON: No. You needn’t have any fear on that account.
MARTHA: Really?
DR WATSON: Miss Hudson, you are the first person to have shown me any kindness since I returned from military service. You also saved my life down in those tunnels. I am certainly not going to repay that kindness by abandoning you.
MARTHA: Oh, Dr Watson, we make a fine pair. And what are we going to do now? You know ’e didn’t get paid fer this one neither? Young Nugent what ’ired ’im ended up a corpse.
DR WATSON: Where did Holmes disappear to, I wonder? After it all, I mean?
MARTHA: ’e said ’e ’ad some business to attend to. Probably just sulkin’ over the one that got away. That ’n tryin’ to avoid the clean up, I’ll be bound.
SOUND: [44] DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: (JOVIAL) Ah, you’re here. Good, good. I believe a celebration is in order.
MARTHA: You what?
SOUND: [45] CORK POPS. CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE IS OPENED — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Why are you all looking so glum?
DR WATSON: We’ve just been discussing the fact that your latest case has resulted in you not getting paid, significant damage to Miss Hudson’s home, the scaring off of the remainder of Miss Hudson’s tenants, and a hideous clean-up job. And you want to celebrate? Are you insane?
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh, there’s no need to worry about all that. I’ve been having a chat with my brother and it appears I have a new case. No more boredom for me!
DR WATSON: You selfish blighter! Have you no consideration for Miss Hudson?
YOUNG HOLMES: Why on earth should I? Weren’t you listening? I’ve been speaking with my brother.
MARTHA: Do you want to ’it ’im or shall I?
YOUNG HOLMES: Miss Hudson, you need to forget about your petty financial concerns for a moment and concentrate on what is most important.
MARTHA: (ANGRY) Oh yes, Mr ’olmes? And what’s that?
YOUNG HOLMES: For a start, as trustee of my family estate, my brother has restored my allowance. You will not need to worry about where you will find tenants any longer as I intend to lease the whole building from you, or at least those parts of it that you do not reserve for the use of yourself and Dr Watson. I will also be able to pay for any repairs that are required as a result of my most recent engagement.
MARTHA: (SUDDENLY THRILLED) Oh, Mr ’olmes! That’ll do very nicely, that will.
DR WATSON: So you’ve made a rapprochement with your brother. That’s wonderful.
YOUNG HOLMES: I most certainly have not. He disapproves of me thoroughly. But he has come to see that my resolve to continue working as a consulting detective has not been dampened by my year cut off from the family nest egg and has chosen to “reinstate” me. He has also arrived at the conclusion that what I do may be of benefit to the Crown after all. Apparently he has taken a particular interest in this most recent case and feels it may well have had implications for the safety of the realm.
DR WATSON: Good Lord!
YOUNG HOLMES: Quite! Anyway, it appears that in his capacity at Whitehall he has been hearing rumors regarding our mysterious “M.” The Diogenes club have even gone so far as to create a task force, but my brother has decided to take me into his confidence on the matter. It seems he wishes me to investigate personally.
MARTHA: Oh, yes? And ’as ’e given you anything much?
YOUNG HOLMES: A puzzle, Miss Hudson. A conundrum, and a name.
MARTHA: And what name would that be, Mr ’olmes?
SOUND: [46] SOUND OF CHAMPAGNE BEING POURED INTO GLASSES — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Come now, drink up! The name is… (BEAT) Moriarty!
MARTHA: And ’oo’s ’e when ’e’s in ’is cotton socks?
YOUNG HOLMES: (TAKES A DRINK) Mmmm! (BEAT) He is, Miss Hudson, our quarry. (BEAT AND QUOTING) It would seem that “the game is afoot!” Do you remember the rest of the quote?
ALL TOGETHER: “Follow your spirit,
and upon this charge
Cry ‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’”
SOUND: [47] GLASSES CLINK IN TOAST — LET IT FINISH.
ELDER HOLMES: And with that, the affair was ended and a new phase of my career began. Little did I realize just how dangerous this new phase was to become.
MUSIC: [2] CLOSING THEME AND CREDITS — LET IT FINISH.

Scarlet

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The post Scarlet – Episode 3 – The Warren appeared first on Host Your Own Old Time Radio Drama.

Scarlet – Episode 2 – On the Run

Philip Robotham — Fri, 30 Sep 2016 22:29:52 +0000

Below we present the complete text of On the Run, episode 2 of Scarlet.

Gaslamp Mystery – GM004 – Scarlet

SCENE 5: EXT. — A LONDON BACKSTREET AT NIGHT — LATER (ELDER HOLMES, YOUNG HOLMES, THUG #1, TINY, BYSTANDER)

MUSIC: OPENING THEME – LET IT FINISH.
NARRATOR: Holmes is on the run. His investigation into the dual disappearances of Mr Damien Nugent and his fiancee Scarlet Hope has led him to the region of Highgate where, it turns out, disappearances have become commonplace. While investigating near the cemetery with the assistance of Martha Hudson, a young woman is attacked by a man who bears a striking resemblance to Holmes himself, forcing him to flee from the constabulary.
ELDER HOLMES: [CUE] And so I ran, full of youthful excitement at the mystery before me, and with a shameful disregard for the wellbeing of my friends. At the time I treated my flight from the police as something of a lark. In an act of idiocy which I would later have significant time to regret, I gave little thought to the villain whose clothing so closely resembled my own. I thought it a mere coincidence, London being a dangerous place to be out in at night. This was perhaps one of the last times in my life that I entertained “coincidence” as a possibility that could provide any genuinely explanatory value in one of my investigations. Still, one useful thing did come about because of my recklessness… though at the time I didn’t recognize it for what it was.
SOUND: [10] (WALLA) SMALL MOB WATCHING A FIGHT. OOH-ING AND AH-ING AFTER EACH HIT — UNDER.
SOUND: [24] SMACK, SMACK OF FISTS ON FLESH — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ugh! (COUGHS) If you gentlemen would…
SOUND: [25] SMACK — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ugh! …just for a moment…
SOUND: [24] SMACK. SMACK — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ugh. (PANTS) …stop pounding my face with your remarkably beefy fists. (SPITS)
THUG #1: ’ere lads, it looks like ’e ’as something to say.
SOUND: [25] SMACK. FOLLOWED BY RAUCOUS LAUGHTER — LET IT FINISH.
THUG #1: Well, mate? Out wiv it? What could you possibly ’ave to say that would interest us?
YOUNG HOLMES: (COUGHING) I can help you find the kidnapper!
THUG #1: You what? (TO THE CROWD) ’ear that, lads? The kidnapper reckons ’e can ’elp us find the kidnapper!! ’e’ll ’elp us all right. ’e’s gonna be beggin’ to ’elp us soon enough.
SOUND: [25] SMACK — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ugh. (DESPERATE) Pick your best man!
THUG #1: What?
YOUNG HOLMES: Pick your best man. If I beat him, you hear me out!
THUG #1: (AMUSED) And what makes you think you’ll do any better against one than you ’ave against five? Eh?
YOUNG HOLMES: What’s the harm? If I don’t beat him you get to carry on pounding me senseless.
THUG #1: (AMUSED) Fair enough. (TO THE CROWD) Looks like our kidnapper is a sportin’ gent. Tiny, you wanta step forward and ’ave a turn with ’im all to yourself?
TINY: (GRUNTS) Sure.
YOUNG HOLMES: (COUGHS) They do grow them big where you come from, don’t they?
TINY: (DEEP THROATY LAUGH) Muh ha ha.
YOUNG HOLMES: Alright, but I warn you…
SOUND: [25] SMACK — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ugh! I see we’ve begun. Well let’s try this…
SOUND: [26] DISTINCT CRACKING OF BONE AND “EW!” FROM THE CROWD — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: And this…
SOUND: [26] MORE BONE CRACKING ACCOMPANIED BY GROANS OF DISMAY FROM THE CROWD — LET IT FINISH.
TINY: (IN SEVERE PAIN) Aaah. Why you…
YOUNG HOLMES: Still need more, do you? Well, how about this…
SOUND: [27] CRUNCHING NOISE FOLLOWED BY HEAVY BODY DROP — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: (WINDED) Well, that should do it…
THUG #1: (THREATENING) ’e ’ad a family to look after. We’re gonna ’ave to take it outta your ’ide.
YOUNG HOLMES: (NERVOUS) He’ll recover… in about a month… but you promised me a hearing.
SOUND: [28] UGLY MURMURS FROM CROWD — LET IT FINISH.
THUG #1: We did. But you’ll not ’ave long. You’ve gone an’ made us right cranky (TO THE CROWD) — ’asn’t ’e?
SOUND: [28] UGLY MURMURS OF ASSENT — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Then I’ll talk fast. I am not the kidnapper! I am, however, trying to find the kidnapper and stop him.
THUG #1: And ’ow do you propose to convince us o’ that? You were runnin’ through the dark in our back alleyways tryin’ to avoid the police. Why should we believe you?
YOUNG HOLMES: You lost your daughter, a week ago today. She was what, five years old? And you, your wife’s been missing three nights? And what about you? Your son was taken last night, wasn’t he?
BYSTANDER: ’e’s the kidnapper! ’ow else would ’e know?
YOUNG HOLMES: I’m not the kidnapper! The portrait artist you’ve been using for your missing persons notices is very good. The family resemblances are clear.
THUG #1: No, I don’t buy it. I’m inclined to think you knows what they look like ’cause you took ’em.
SOUND: [25] SMACK. ROAR OF CROWD — FADE UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ugh! No wait! You’re a tanner during the day. You’ve been workin’ at it five years, but you got that limp in the navy and would rather be at sea!
THUG #1: ’ow’d you know that?
YOUNG HOLMES: And Tiny, there. He’s a teacher when he’s not pounding strangers to a pulp in the streets late at night. The chalk on his cuffs is enough to give that away, but so is the ink on his fingers.
SOUND: [29] GASP OF AWE FROM THE CROWD — LET IT FINISH.
THUG #1: (MORE DEFINITE THIS TIME) ’ow’d you know that?
YOUNG HOLMES: I’ve been trying to tell you. I see things about people and can tell where they’ve come from and what they’ve been doing. I can help you find the kidnapper.
BYSTANDER: Is it magic?
YOUNG HOLMES: No, it’s not magic. It is science. And right now it’s your best chance at recovering your missing loved ones.
BYSTANDER: I don’t know…
THUG #1: I think we need to take you to see Mr Jeffers.
YOUNG HOLMES: Mr Jeffers?
THUG #1: You’ll see. (TO THE CROWD). Get that bag over ’is ’ead.
SOUND: [30] THUD OF SAP OR CLUB ON THE BACK OF SHERLOCK’S HEAD — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ugh!
SOUND: [27] BODY SLUMPS TO GROUND — LET IT FINISH.
THUG#1: (ECHOING AS IT FADES OUT) And pick up Tiny ’n all. We can’t leave him there fer the scavengers.
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 6: INT. — SOMEWHERE BENEATH LONDON — AN UNKNOWN WHILE LATER (YOUNG HOLMES, MR JEFFERS)

SOUND: [11] (WALLA) DRIPS. SLIGHT ECHO, LIKE IN A CAVE. KETTLE BUBBLING IN BACKGROUND — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: (GROANS)
MR JEFFERS: Ah, you are awake, I see. I apologize for the bump to your head. Are you recovered?
YOUNG HOLMES: Passably. You must be Mr Jeffers, I presume?
MR JEFFERS: That’s right… or the scurrilous Mr J, if you prefer the term used by the gossip mongers.
YOUNG HOLMES: (GROANING SOME MORE) I can honestly say that, on this question at least, I am agnostic. May I ask why you have brought me here?
MR JEFFERS: Well, to disabuse you a little, (EMPHASIZING) I did not have you brought here at all. You have been brought here by the superstitious dwellers of Highgate for me to pass judgment on. They wish to know whether you are the kidnapper who has been causing so much noise recently.
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh? From these sewers? Dispensing rough justice, is it?
MR JEFFERS: Not quite. Though at times I have been tempted. (BEAT) Actually, I don’t generally get involved in upworld matters. Unfortunately I have gained something of a reputation, amongst the superstitious, for being a seer.
YOUNG HOLMES: A seer?
MR JEFFERS: Yes, you see, I know things. Tea?
YOUNG HOLMES: What? Uh, no, thank you.
SOUND: [31] TEA, POURING INTO A CUP — LET IT FINISH.
MR JEFFERS: As you wish. But I’m sure you’d feel better. No? Very well. (SLURPS SOME TEA) Aahh! Yes, I dropped out of London’s upper-world some time ago in order to look after the children.
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh, you’re that Mr Jeffers. There have been rumors about you for years. How have you managed to stay hidden from me this long?
MR JEFFERS: I know you well, Mr Holmes, and that bright girl you employ from time to time, Miss Hudson, yes? We understand your methods and my kids have done a good job of keeping us out of your view. It also helps that street urchins and underground dwellers don’t tend to rate much interest from up above.
YOUNG HOLMES: (IMPRESSED) Au contraire. I have tried, unsuccessfully, twice to locate you since I entered London and first heard your name whispered. It’s no small feat to stay hidden from me when I am actively looking for you. The scurrilous Mr J, a man who stays out of sight and runs the largest gang of pickpockets and thieves in London.
MR JEFFERS: Lies and calumny, Mr Holmes. I run the second largest… and only in terms of numbers. My kids steal to stay alive, Mr Holmes, usually off the fruit carts. I teach them to read and write and I even manage to get many of them apprenticed in real jobs when they get old enough. Some of them go bad of course, but most get a chance to keep on living and possibly even make something of themselves.
YOUNG HOLMES: You needn’t try to convince me, Mr Jeffers. I am aware of the good you do down here. I am also aware of your carefully cultivated bad reputation and equally contrived reputation for mysticism.
MR JEFFERS: The rumors help keep the nosey away.
YOUNG HOLMES: Why do you call yourself the second largest group of thieves?
MR JEFFERS: I’m surprised you need to ask, Mr Holmes. But then again maybe he’s as good at keeping in the shadows as I am. Better, if I’m honest. People don’t talk about him, Mr Holmes, and it’s been happening only a little at a time. But he’s been taking over here in London… at least in the upworld. My kids don’t miss much at all and we’ve been watching him.
YOUNG HOLMES: Him? Him who?
MR JEFFERS: They just call him “M” and I’ll say no more about it. He could wipe me and my kids out in the blink of an eye, and would do so on very little excuse, so I really don’t want to attract his attention.
YOUNG HOLMES: I see. And me? What verdict do you have regarding me?
MR JEFFERS: Don’t be silly, Mr Holmes. Like I said my kids don’t miss much. We know you aren’t behind the kidnappings. I sent those idiot upworlders off hours ago. I’ve just been waiting here for you to come round so we could have a bit of a chat, so to speak.
YOUNG HOLMES: I see. (BEAT) Or at least I begin to. Why have you chosen to communicate with me now? My last two attempts to make contact were met with rebuff.
MR JEFFERS: We didn’t really know you then. It’s often safest to withhold trust.
YOUNG HOLMES: And now?
MR JEFFERS: We think you’re probably the only one who can stop these kidnappings from becoming a plague.
YOUNG HOLMES: An interesting choice of metaphor.
MR JEFFERS: It may be more apt than you think. The majority of kidnappings have occurred in broad daylight… and that has been unfathomable enough because my kids have seen nothing.
YOUNG HOLMES: (MUSING ALOUD) Who is trusted enough that they can hunt by the light of day? A policeman, perhaps, or a doctor? Maybe a priest? Clearly someone people are inclined to trust and who has the capacity to lure them into a trap.
MR JEFFERS: Perhaps. But it is not all happening by daylight. At night the scavengers come out. When you were running from the police, it was them that the folk who cornered you were out hunting.
YOUNG HOLMES: And who are these scavengers?
MR JEFFERS: We can’t rightly say. My kids have seen them from time to time and have stayed clear. They shamble through the streets of Highgate after dark on quiet nights and they attempt to trap anyone who is alone or unwary. My kids say they smell of turned earth and their numbers are increasing.
YOUNG HOLMES: Good grief, that’s it!
MR JEFFERS: Mr Holmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: Mr Jeffers, I have been a fool. It was no coincidence that a man matching my description was lying in wait outside Highgate Cemetery. I have, inadvertently, placed my friends in grave danger and need to depart from here as soon as is practical.
MR JEFFERS: That should not prove a problem. But please, tell me what you have discovered before you go?
YOUNG HOLMES: I’m sorry, but at the moment I have but a theory… and I’m not sure you would believe me even if I did lay it out for you.
MR JEFFERS: Alright, Mr Holmes, keep your secrets and go to the aid of your friends. I’ll have one of my lads — Sam, his name is — lead you out.
YOUNG HOLMES: Mr Jeffers, before I go, I was wondering… your network could be of great use to my work. The value of having eyes and ears all over London is inestimable. Could I count on you for aid in future?
MR JEFFERS: What, like a bunch of Baker Street Irregulars? I’ll tell you what, Mr Holmes? Our business down here is survival. I try hard to help kids who have nowhere else to go. If we may call upon your aid in return and if you’re willing to pay for our help when you need it, then I think we can form an alliance, yes.
YOUNG HOLMES: Good man. Now, as to how to get out of here?
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 7: INT. — IN THE SEWERS BENEATH 221B BAKER STREET — MIDNIGHT, ONE DAY AFTER BEING KNOCKED OUT (YOUNG HOLMES, SAM)

SOUND: [12] (WALLA) TRUDGING THROUGH MUD IN TUNNELS — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: Slow down a minute, Sam. Do you happen to know what time it is up above?
SAM: Sure. It’d be close t’ midnight in the upworld.
YOUNG HOLMES: Midnight? That can’t be right. We’ve been walking through these tunnels for forty-five minutes at least. Given the time I spent talking with Mr Jeffers and my encounter with the street thugs I couldn’t have been knocked out for more than a few seconds if it were only midnight.
SAM: You were asleep for an entire day, Mr ’olmes. Sound like a baby. It was a good thing Mr J was lookin’ out fer ye or ye might’ve woken up without yer boots and rats chewin’ on yer toes.
YOUNG HOLMES: Charming. I thought Mr Jeffers said you lot don’t steal?
SAM: Oh, none of us do, Mr H. But there’re others ’oo use the tunnels as’d cut yer throat as soon as look at yer.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes. I’m sure. By the looks of it you could gain access to almost any home in London from these tunnels.
SAM: (SKEPTICALLY) You could… but it’s a lot more dangerous than it looks — there are things down ’ere you really don’t want to meet — and some of the access ways are only open to little folk like us. No full-grown bloke’d get through ’em.
YOUNG HOLMES: I see. Perhaps I should advise Miss Hudson to block up some of these pathways. At least the ones that give access to 221B (TWO TWO ONE B).
SAM: And then where’d you be in times like this? Besides, the ’oles wouldn’t stay blocked.
YOUNG HOLMES: What do you mean?
SAM: Well, the routes change down ’ere. More often than you’d think. An’ doors which get blocked ’ave a tendency to come unblocked. We don’t do the work an’ we don’t know ’oo does, but it ’appens all the same. (BEAT) ’ere we are then. These steps lead up to 221B (TWO TWO ONE B).
YOUNG HOLMES: Good work, Sam. Could I ask you to be my guide for a while longer? I need to visit a curio shop in Soho and get back to Highgate undetected after we stop off here.
SAM: A curio shop in Soho? Mr J wouldn’t like me ’elpin you do a B an’ E.
YOUNG HOLMES: I’ll leave the money for anything I take, I promise you. And if I’m right about what’s behind these kidnappings, I think Mr Jeffers would approve.
SAM: ’alf a crown.
YOUNG HOLMES: What?
SAM: I was ’elpin’ out Mr Jeffers ’afore. If’n I’m goin’ to be workin’ fer you, it’ll cost you ’alf a crown.
YOUNG HOLMES: (AMUSED) Alright. Done. Let’s get up these stairs.
SOUND: [32] FOOTSTEPS RISING UP STAIRS — FADE OUT.
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 8: INT. — 221B BAKER STREET — MOMENTS LATER (SAM, YOUNG HOLMES)

SAM: [CUE] Cor! An’ people say I’m untidy.
YOUNG HOLMES: Don’t be an idiot, Sam. The property has been ransacked. Look, there’s blood over here and here’s Doctor Watson’s wheelchair.
SAM: You think ’e was taken, Mr ’olmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: Most likely. This ruin might have been wrought during a struggle… or maybe the attacker came back looking for something. (CALLING OUT) Miss Hudson? Miss Hudson? Anyone? Is anyone home? (SHORT SILENT WAIT) I’d say whoever it was collected everybody.
SAM: The ’ole ’ouse? ’ow many were there?
YOUNG HOLMES: Aside from Miss Hudson and the Doctor? Oh, three or four. I couldn’t actually be bothered keeping track.
SAM: What’ll you do now?
YOUNG HOLMES: I need to get back to Highgate as soon as possible… but this only makes my trip to the curio shop more urgent. (BEAT) Lay on, Macduff.
SAM: What?
YOUNG HOLMES: Lead the way.
MUSIC: [4] (BRIDGE) TIME PASSING SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 9: EXT. — A BACK ALLEY IN HIGHGATE — MUCH LATER (SAM, YOUNG HOLMES, GHOUL #1, GHOUL #2, CABBIE)

SOUND: [9] (WALLA) CRICKETS. OCCASIONAL OWL HOOT — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
SOUND: [33] BRIEF UNSCREW, LIFT AND CLANG OF MANHOLE COVER OPENING — LET IT FINISH.
SAM: ’ere we are, Mr ’olmes. Up you come, back in ’ighgate like I promised.
SOUND: [34] RUNGS OF METAL LADDER BEING CLIMBED — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: (GRUNTS) Thank you, Sam. That was a well-earned half crown. What will you do now?
SAM: I’ll be goin’ back down the manhole, quick smart. An’ you won’t stay on this street longer ’n you ’ave to either — if you’re smart.
YOUNG HOLMES: And why’s that?
SAM: See ’ow quiet it is? No people about?
YOUNG HOLMES: I assumed you had arranged somewhere quiet for our egress.
SAM: Swipe me! No, sir! It’s in the quiet that the scavengers come out. It’s back underground for me ’n in no short order. (BEAT) Can you put the lid back on when I go down?
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, of course.
SOUND: [35] RUNGS OF METAL LADDER BEING CLIMBED (DESCENDING). CLANG OF MANHOLE COVER BEING LOWERED AGAIN — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Well, now for the cemetery.
GHOUL #1: Yesss. The ssssemetery. We are hungry, we are.
GHOUL #2: Yesss. Feeeed ussss.
GHOUL PACK: Yesss. Yesss. Foood… (ETC.)
YOUNG HOLMES: Come out where I can see you.
SOUND: [36] SHUFFLING FEET — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: So many? Ghouls? I doubt I can fight off such a pack. (TO THE GHOULS) Stay back!
GHOUL #1: Doon’t try to ruuun. We aaaare faast. Weee willlll chaaase yooou.
YOUNG HOLMES: On reflection I think I’ll take my chances.
SOUND: [37] HOLMES RUNNING DOWN THE STREET. MOMENTS LATER THE SOUND OF GHOULS RUNNING AND HOWLING AFTER HIM IN A MAD DASH — ESTABLISH FOR A FEW SECONDS AND UNDER.
SOUND: [18] ARRIVAL OF A CARRIAGE AND HORSES. THEY HALT — LET IT FINISH.
CABBIE: Mr Holmes. You’ll be wantin t’ git in my cab as quick as maybe. Those varmints don’t look friendly.
YOUNG HOLMES: Mr Hope, isn’t it? You are a sight for sore eyes.
SOUND: [38] CAB DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES — LET IT FINISH.
CABBIE: Geeyup! Hah!
SOUND: [39] CAB TAKES OFF AT A GALLOP. GHOUL SHRIEKS FADE INTO DISTANCE — LET IT FINISH.
CABBIE: You know, Mr Holmes, I’da thought you smarter’n this?
YOUNG HOLMES: How so?
SOUND: [40] HISS OF GAS — ESTABLISH AND UNDER UNTIL END OF SCENE.
CABBIE: Well, you have a certain reputation for identifying trouble when it’s a comin’ your way.
YOUNG HOLMES: (SUDDEN REALIZATION) Who can hunt in plain sight? Policemen, priests, doctors, and…
CABBIE: And cabbies. It’s easy really. People just climb right in.
YOUNG HOLMES: And then… you… (GROANS) you… gas them?
CABBIE: That’s right, Mr Holmes. Now you jes lay yourself down and have yerself a nice little sleep. I’ll be deliverin’ you to the good folks in ’ighgate Cemetery shortly. You’ll see a few o’ your friends I dare say… an’ some of ’em’ll be mighty hungry.
YOUNG HOLMES: (GROANS)
SOUND: [27] BODY DROP — LET IT FINISH.
MUSIC: [5] (BRIDGE) OMINOUS SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.
MUSIC: [2] CLOSING THEME — LET IT FINISH.

Scarlet

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Scarlet – Episode 1 – The Recently Missing

Philip Robotham — Fri, 23 Sep 2016 22:04:46 +0000

Below we present the complete text of The Recently Missing, episode 1 of Scarlet.

Gaslamp Mystery – GM004 – Scarlet

ACT 1

INTRODUCTION (ELDER HOLMES)

MUSIC: [1] OPENING THEME — LET IT FINISH.
ELDER HOLMES: It was 1884, almost a year after the affair involving Miss Helen Stoner and the despicable shape-shifter, Dr Roylott.
I was now well established at 221B (TWO TWO ONE B) Baker Street in the company of Dr John Watson and under the watchful eye of our landlady, Miss Martha Hudson.
A number of minor and rather mundane mysteries had come my way during the intervening period including the Tarleton murders, the case of Vamberry, the wine merchant (a smuggler of enchanted wine), the adventure of the old Russian woman (a brief, if almost lethal, encounter with the Baba Yaga of legend), the singular affair of the aluminum crutch, Ricoletti of the club foot and his abominable inhuman wife, and the case of Mrs Farintosh, concerning a cursed opal tiara. The publication of a number of my, severely modified, adventures by John Watson (under the titles of The Gloria Scott, The Musgrave Ritual, and The Speckled Band) through his friend and confidante, Mr Arthur Conan Doyle, did my reputation a world of good — even if it did mean I was pestered day and night by people with problems too trivial for my talents. The advantage was that I was now genuinely financially independent. My brother, who had cut me off from the family trust (he was its trustee) when I rejected the life of government service he had mapped out for me, had now realized I had settled on my chosen vocation and would not be changing my mind. As such he had withdrawn into a sullen silence from which he did not emerge for years.
On this particular day in April I was looking for the, never-less-than-intriguing, Martha Hudson in Hobson’s Curio Shop.
(THIS LINE DELIBERATELY REMOVED)

SCENE 1: INT. — CURIO SHOP — MORNING (YOUNG HOLMES, MARTHA, DAMIEN)

SOUND: [17] JINGLE OF A SHOP’S BELL. DOOR CLOSING — LET IT FINISH.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ah, Miss Hudson, I received your missive. How may I be of assistance?
MARTHA HUDSON: Oh, Mr ’olmes. You quite startled me. I didn’t expect to see you ’til much later… after lunch in fact.
YOUNG HOLMES: I deduced as much from your letter. I must say, your ciphers are getting better.
MARTHA: Why thank you, Mr ’olmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, this one was almost a challenge.
MARTHA: (DRILY) I see. And ’ow did you locate me? I don’t remember tellin’ you where I was off to this mornin’. Are you going to impress me with ’ow the new wax I’ve ’ad applied to the floor let you track me across London? Or was it per’aps the disappearance of the tote bag that I only use when visiting ’obson’s Curio Shop?
YOUNG HOLMES: Actually I simply asked Watson where you had gone.
MARTHA: (AMUSED) Liar.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, well, time’s a-wasting, Miss Hudson. What was it you wished to see me about? I was engaged in practicing with my skeleton keys when Watson alerted me to the note. Escapology is a dull but important part of my repertoire and not something I am inclined to forego practicing without good reason. Is there some new mystery brewing? Something that my special talents would be especially challenged by?
MARTHA: Hmmm. Mr ’olmes, I am well aware of your need for diversion. It is a need I share myself… to a degree. But, those times when your mind is properly occupied are not of concern to me today.
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh no. You’re not going to bore me with another lecture about my domestic arrangements are you?
MARTHA: Mr ’olmes, you are, when not occupied with a case, rowdy, inexcusably slovenly, ’orribly rude to my other tenants, and more or less disagreeable company.
YOUNG HOLMES: (OVER) Boring.
MARTHA: Mr ’olmes, I’m serious. If your be’avior doesn’t improve, an’ in fairly short order, I will be forced to ask you to leave.
YOUNG HOLMES: And leave Dr Watson without someone to assist him in the rent? It would be too cruel.
MARTHA: You really don’t listen to anyone else around you, do you?
YOUNG HOLMES: Well, people are always engaging in such “little” conversations. They are hardly worth my notice.
MARTHA: Of all the arrogant… Dr Watson will be opening ’is own practice soon… and ’e’ll not be needin’ to share the rent much after that. (BEAT) I’ve already spoken to ’im about it and I’m ’appy to let ’im stay at the reduced rent if’n you and I can’t come to an accommodation.
YOUNG HOLMES: I beg your pardon, Miss Hudson. Are you threatening me with eviction? Where would your rental income be then?
MARTHA: My income would double within a week. I’d actually ’ave some capacity to keep my tenants for more’n a fortnight if you weren’t constantly driving them off. Frankly, Mr ’olmes. Your tenancy is a cost and not a benefit.
YOUNG HOLMES: I see… and what are your demands?
MARTHA: Mr ’olmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: What are the conditions you wish to apply in order for me to remain in residence at 221B (TWO TWO ONE B)?
MARTHA: I won’t be demandin’ you not get into any of your moods… it’s clearly beyond you. But I will ask you to stop interferin’ with my other guests.
YOUNG HOLMES: If you are referring to that incident with the revolver and Mr Archroy, I barely grazed the man.
MARTHA: (IGNORING HOLMES) I will also be askin’ you to keep the ammunition separate from your firearms. I won’t ’ave loaded weapons in my ’ome.
YOUNG HOLMES: Ahem. As you wish. What else?
MARTHA: No more playin’ the violin after midnight.
YOUNG HOLMES: It helps me to relax.
MARTHA: Well, it keeps everyone else awake and I’ll not be ’avin’ any more of it. (BEAT) Lastly…
YOUNG HOLMES: Thank goodness.
MARTHA: (EMPHASIZING) Lastly, I’m all for respectin’ your privacy… an’ if you want to live in an untidy manner that’s yer own business… but I’ll not be lettin’ you turn my property into a ’abitation o’ rats.
YOUNG HOLMES: By which you mean?
MARTHA: You will, if’n you wish to continue livin’ in my property, engage in the minimum amount of cleanin’ consistent with good ’ygiene, Mr ’olmes. Do we ’ave an accord?
YOUNG HOLMES: And I had such high hopes for this conversation. Ah well.
MARTHA: (STERNLY) Mr ’olmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, yes, alright. I’ll abide by your rules. Just help me find something to divert me. I need… distraction. The boredom is killing me.
MARTHA: (UNDER HER BREATH) Would it were so.
YOUNG HOLMES: What?
MARTHA: Nothin’ important, Mr ’olmes. I do think you need to grow up a little, ’owever. An’ another thing…
DAMIEN NUGENT: Mr Holmes? Mr Sherlock Holmes? My dear sir, I’m so glad to meet you.
YOUNG HOLMES: Er… I believe you have me at a disadvantage.
DAMIEN: Oh, I’m sorry. Of course, I’m being frightfully rude. Please forgive me. My name is Damien Nugent and I have need of your rather specialized skills.
YOUNG HOLMES: I see… perhaps we should adjourn to the tavern next door and continue this discussion. (BEAT) Miss Hudson, would you join us please.
MARTHA: In just a moment. I came in to do some shopping. I was told they have a pair o’ workin’ cheirosiphons (KI-ROS-I-FONS) ’ere ’n I wanted to pick one up if it were affordable.
YOUNG HOLMES: A hand-held device for disseminating Greek Fire? My dear Miss Hudson, what on earth are you thinking of?
MARTHA: Well, you never know when it’ll come in ’andy. Plenty of undead things don’t like fire.
DAMIEN: (SHOCKED) Good Lord!
YOUNG HOLMES: We are in a curio shop, Mr Nugent. You shouldn’t be so surprised. What brought you in here today, after all?
DAMIEN: (STIFFLY) I’m looking for my fiancée, Miss Scarlet Hope. She has a somewhat regrettable weakness for superstition. I was hoping to get some information from the proprietor.
YOUNG HOLMES: Well for now you’ll have to settle for giving me some information instead. Miss Hudson will join us presently.
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 2: EXT. — THE STREET OUTSIDE THE CURIO SHOP — MOMENTS LATER (DAMIEN, YOUNG HOLMES, MARTHA, CABBIE)

SOUND: [8] (WALLA) BUSY STREET. HORSES AND CARTS PASSING ON THE COBBLESTONES. OCCASIONAL HORSE WHINNY AND CRIES OF HAWKERS — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
YOUNG HOLMES: You look nervous, Mr Nugent?
DAMIEN: What? Yes, I’m in rather a hurry, I’m afraid.
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh?
DAMIEN: I’m to be picked up in a moment. (BEAT) Look, I really would appreciate your assistance in this matter. My fiancée has disappeared. She was due back from a trip to Paris. She had grown suddenly ill and was seeing a specialist. We know she arrived back in London safely enough from conversations with the ferry workers but when her father went to collect her she wasn’t there and no one knew where she had gone.
YOUNG HOLMES: When was this?
DAMIEN: The night before last, sir.
YOUNG HOLMES: And I take it you have informed the police?
DAMIEN: Oh yes. But they admit to being frankly baffled.
SOUND: [18] CARRIAGE PULLS UP AND HALTS NEARBY — LET IT FINISH.
CABBIE: Howdy, Mr Damien. Did you discover anythin’?
DAMIEN: Oh, hello, Mr Hope. Mr Holmes, this is Mr Jefferson Hope, formerly of the American Colonies and currently a cab driver in London. More importantly, he is also the father of my fiancée, Scarlet.
YOUNG HOLMES: How do you do?
CABBIE: Cain’t complain. Though I’ll remind you, Mr Damien, that me and mine haven’t been colonies for quite some time now. (TO HOLMES) I understand you’re somethin’ of a detective, Mr Holmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, I consult.
CABBIE: I ran afoul o’ them damned Pinkertons back home once or twice so I hope you don’t mind if I don’t shake yer hand. Pickin’ on people who want to stand up fer their rights as workers ain’t somethin’ to be admired.
DAMIEN: (SHOCKED) Mr Hope!
YOUNG HOLMES: I take it you’re a Marxist, Mr Hope?
CABBIE: I ain’t nothin’ but meself. I jus’ don’ like bullies is all.
YOUNG HOLMES: Well sir, I am neither a bully, nor an enemy of the poor… and I’ll help you find your daughter if I can.
CABBIE: Hmpf. I guess we’ll just have to see about that then.
DAMIEN: I apologize for Mr Hope, Mr Holmes. He’s a very forthright man and sometimes forgets his place.
CABBIE: Pshaw!
YOUNG HOLMES: It’s quite alright, Mr Nugent, I find plain speech rather refreshing. (BEAT) You’re a fair way out of your way today, aren’t you, Mr Hope?
CABBIE: What makes yer say so?
YOUNG HOLMES: This carriage spends most of its time around Highgate judging by the grade of mud caked to the wheels.
CABBIE: Uhuh. I only came down to pick up Mr Nugent.
YOUNG HOLMES: I see. Then I’d best not be keeping you.
DAMIEN: Yes, of course. But there is more to say. Would you come and visit us this evening? Around seven? Here’s my card. I’m staying with Mr Hope at present.
YOUNG HOLMES: Very well.
DAMIEN: Then I’ll bid you good day.
SOUND: [19] SOUND OF CARRIAGE BEING MOUNTED AND HORSE MOVING AWAY — LET IT FINISH.
MARTHA: That looked a little bit tense. An’ that cabbie, ’e was a ’uge specimen of a man. What’d I miss?
YOUNG HOLMES: Besides the oversized cabbie? It seems I have been engaged on a missing persons case.
MARTHA: Oh, what is it caught your eye this time? Ghosts? Shape-shifters? Some otherworldly nasty?
YOUNG HOLMES: None of the above.
MARTHA: A mundane case? That’s not like you, Mr ’olmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: Well, something about this business smells a little off.
MARTHA: Mr ’olmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: I mean that quite literally, my dear Miss Hudson. Mr Hope, the cabbie who just took Mr Nugent away, has been transporting rotting meat in his carriage. I’d like to know why. (BEAT) Miss Hudson, I was wondering if you had any objection to accompanying me to Highgate this evening to call upon Mr Damien Nugent and Mr Jefferson Hope?
MARTHA: You know, Mr ’olmes? You can be quite passably polite when you set yer mind to it.
MUSIC: [5] (BRIDGE) OMINOUS SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

SCENE 3: EXT. — THE STEPS OUTSIDE MR HOPE’S RESIDENCE — EVENING (CABBIE, YOUNG HOLMES, LESTRADE, MARTHA)

SOUND: [2] KNOCKING ON DOOR. PAUSE THEN DOOR OPENS — LET IT FINISH.
CABBIE: Oh. It’s you. I ain’t got time fer the likes o’ you at present, Mr Holmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes. I can see. Why are the police here?
CABBIE: (SNARLING) None of your business.
LESTRADE: (INTERRUPTING) Actually, Mr ’ope called for our assistance. Good to see you, Mr ’olmes.
YOUNG HOLMES: (ACKNOWLEDGING) Inspector Lestrade.
LESTRADE: What brings you to this particular address, Mr ’olmes?
YOUNG HOLMES: I was engaged by Mr Damien Nugent to locate his fiancée, the daughter of Mr Hope.
LESTRADE: I see. Then you would be surprised to learn that Mr Nugent has also gone missin’?
CABBIE: Is that really some’t you should be sharin’ with an amateur?
LESTRADE: Yes, well. Mr ’olmes, annoyin’ as ’e in fact is, ’as demonstrated a certain flair fer these matters.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, I believe I was of some small assistance in that business with the tiara. I’m surprised to find you here, Inspector. I would have thought that this sort of thing was a little beneath you.
LESTRADE: (EMBARRASSED) Yes, well. We’ve been keepin’ it out o’ the papers but there’s been a slew of disappearances ’round ’ighgate ’n we need to get to the bottom of it.
MARTHA: I take it you ain’t got anythin’ to go on yet.
LESTRADE: Oh, Miss ’udson. Are you ’ere too?
MARTHA: Why you…
LESTRADE: I can’t for the life of me see why you insist on draggin’ this ’ere female around with you, Mr ’olmes. Surely she jus’ gets in the way.
YOUNG HOLMES: “This ’ere female” as you put it is worth any five of your men, Inspector. But, as you appear to have had at least five of your men blundering about in Mr Hope’s residence I doubt there will be anything left to discover here. (BEAT) Mr Hope, where did you take Mr Nugent after we met with him this morning?
CABBIE: Not that it’s any of yer business, but I took him to the cemetery in Highgate. He said he was to meet some varmint there as had information he might be interested in.
YOUNG HOLMES: Do you know who he was to see?
CABBIE: No. I dropped him at the gate.
YOUNG HOLMES: Do you know how he was contacted?
CABBIE: An anonymous note. Apparently left at our door. I never saw it.
YOUNG HOLMES: Well thank you for your cooperation. We’ll be off.
CABBIE: Anything to be rid of you. I’ll get back to talking with the “real” police now, shall I?
YOUNG HOLMES: As you wish.
MARTHA: I take it you ’ave our next destination in mind?
YOUNG HOLMES: Assuredly.
MARTHA: Highgate Cemetery?
YOUNG HOLMES: Of course.
MUSIC: [3] (BRIDGE) NEUTRAL SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.

ACT 2

SCENE 4: EXT. — HIGHGATE CEMETERY — NIGHT (MARTHA, YOUNG HOLMES, WOMAN, LESTRADE, CONSTABLE)

SOUND: [9] (WALLA) WIND THROUGH TREES. OCCASIONAL HOOT OF AN OWL — ESTABLISH AND UNDER.
MARTHA: Well, Mr ’olmes. We’re ’ere. Look at them posters on the wall. ’ave you ever seen so many?
YOUNG HOLMES: No, I can’t say that I have. In fact this is the single greatest number of missing persons posters I’ve ever seen at one time. Put up by family members and friends by the look. Older people… children… teens… even strong young men. All missing in the last few weeks. Whatever has been happening here has not been small in scale.
WOMAN: (AT A DISTANCE SCREAMS) Aahhhhh!
YOUNG HOLMES: Quick, Miss Hudson, I believe the scream came from around that corner.
SOUND: [21] RUNNING FEET — LET IT FINISH.
MARTHA: Mr ’olmes. Wait. It looks like the attacker ’as been run off by that policeman. It’s Inspector Lestrade, isn’t it?
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, let’s get a little closer and see if we can discover what they are saying. Best to keep to these shadows I think.
WOMAN: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Oh, thank goodness you came along Inspector. ’e came out of nowhere, ’e did. Just lunged at me, ’n tried to drag me into the cemetery.
LESTRADE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) And why were you on the street this late, Madame?
WOMAN: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Now don’t you go lookin’ at me like that. I’m a respectable girl I am… an’ it’s miss. Just finished me shift at the weavers an’ I’m goin’ home.
LESTRADE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Of course. Can you describe your attacker?
WOMAN: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Course I can. Seen ’im large as life I did. ’e’s about your ’eight. Wears the clothes of a young gentleman ’e does. Carryin’ a cane with a silver ’andle. ’e ’ad a red cravat an’ a brown striped waistcoat. ’e was also wearin’ a large brown coat.
MARTHA: You want to be careful, Mr ’olmes. She could be describin’ you.
YOUNG HOLMES: Yes, I believe so. And if I’m not mistaken, Lestrade is reaching the same conclusion.
LESTRADE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Thank you, miss. I’m fairly sure I know ’oo the culprit is. Constable?
CONSTABLE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Yes, sir?
LESTRADE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Get the men searchin’ the cemetery. ’e’s probably gone to ground now, but we knew ’e was coming over ’ere and this young lady’s described ’im to a “t.” If we miss ’im ’ere we can get ’im at ’is ’ome.
CONSTABLE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Who are we lookin’ for, sir?
LESTRADE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) Mr Sherlock ’olmes o’course.
YOUNG HOLMES: It appears I have been “fitted up,” as they say, Miss Hudson.
MARTHA: What’re you goin’ to do?
YOUNG HOLMES: I believe I need to drop out of sight for a while.
MARTHA: With the Yard after yer?
YOUNG HOLMES: Oh, don’t worry. This is London. People can disappear in London faster than ale into a drunkard.
MARTHA: Looks like you’ve only got a few moments before they start comin’ this way. What do you want me to do while your ’idin’ out?
YOUNG HOLMES: I’ll hardly be hiding, Miss Hudson. Being a hunted man just makes the game more exciting.
MARTHA: Maybe for some as don’t ’ave the good sense to get outta the rain when a storm’s comin’.
YOUNG HOLMES: Never you mind worrying about me. Tomorrow I want you to come back and explore this cemetery. See if you can count how many freshly turned plots there are. I’ll contact you soon.
MARTHA: Freshly turned plots? You do like bein’ mysterious, don’t you? But you’d better scarper. It looks like they’re startin’ the search now.
SOUND: [22] FOOTSTEPS RUNNING AWAY — FADE UNDER.
CONSTABLE: (A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY) ’ere, someone just went ’arin’ off down the street. Get after ’im lads.
SOUND: [23] WHISTLES BLOWING. RUNNING FEET ETC. — FADE.
MUSIC: [6] (BRIDGE) ADVENTUROUS SCENE ENDER — LET IT FINISH.
MUSIC: [2] CLOSING THEME — LET IT FINISH.

Scarlet

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